In Zebrica, they are legends. The Eyes of the Demon, an artifact of immense magical power and insane destructive potential. For untold centuries they have been hidden away, only a few knowing their true location and awesome power.
Even Daring Do herself tries to write off the legends of the Eyes as little more than myths. But when a zebra warlord learns of their location, it's up to Daring to recover the Eyes of the Demon before this agent of strife can harness the power to destroy nations.
Chapters (22)
Evil Eye - Fu Manchu
Damn dude, you can crank these stories out like water out of the tap! You seriously need to give me some story structuring pointers. I am actually serious...
"The Eyes of the Demon, an artifact of imminent magical power and insane destructive potential."
...Immense....the word is immense
Translation for the end conversation there in Swahili,
Zebra colt-"Mama, I hear something."
Zebra mare-"It is nothing child, do not worry."
Zebra elder-"Maybe its a demon coming to eat you whole! Rawr!"
And 643331 I meant imminent. As in, "Your Imminence" or "imminently doomed".
Zulu would be easier to follow... >.>
next chapter!
Aye, I see what you did there.
Now you got 2 stories in the WotFR universe. The storage car for what your talking about would be a baggage car. Its used mostly for mail and the amenities of the crew and passengers. The "Steam horn" as you call it, (cackles with laughter) is actually a whistle. I would suspect it to be a low tone single chime whistle. It wouldn't sound much unlike the train's second pass in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfuGFyX6i7Y
Great job on this story Klondike.
659873 And that is why I try to have friends with far ranging areas of expertise. Who knows when I'll need to know the technical names for various parts of a steam engine?
661340 This is true. Then you are my expert on story structure. I will need your assistance soon...
And as always, pleasure to be of use.
661347 Very well, just message me when you need help.
really..
oh well
the eyes are not some random humanstuff,
but mayby we can get a zebra story about humans...
Wale Mrefu, a human spirit,
oh this is going to be fun!
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. "
"Our land is more valuable than your money. As long as the sun shines and the waters flow, this land will be here to give life to men and animals; therefore, we cannot sell this land. It was put here for us by the Great Spirit and we cannot sell it because it does not belong to us."
Are the spirit orbs the souls of you know what?
779706 Some of them are. Most of them, most likely not.
Did you ever consider sending this to Equestria Daily, like your other story?
876533 Not a chance.
876611 Mind if I ask why not? I think your story deserves more attention than it is getting, and EQD would definitely get you more views and attention.
876717 EqD and I haven't been on the best terms since I tried to submit WotFR. They don't like human stories or even stories that remotely mention humans. Besides, they would tear me a new one with all the grammatical mistakes.
now what?
and where nobody can get the mask? space, lava, the sun, a black hole, inside a nuclear storage and the bottom of the sea
Hoooo boy! That was an awesome chapter!
so is the story done now?
and what do you plan to write next?
1062194 Dunno, kind of torn between a court drama and a sad story about the last man on earth.
1062404
1. do both in 1 story
court for humans sins where he proves to somebody that humans had love in them
2. write 2 oneshots about both storyes then decide.
Wow, this is really good! Why the heck doesn't this have more views? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
1217441 I'm not that popular. But for some reason my ratings have skyrocketed in the past 18 hours.
643395 There's real Suahili in it?
Do you speak the language, or are you learning it?
Either way, that's really made me curious now. I've been looking for a Zebrica-centred story, and this one seems really interesting.
2908684 I do not speak Swahili, but I did have an interest in learning it at one point. Most of the Swahili here is translated from a reliable online translator, with some of the untranslatable words filled in.
I originally wanted to write it with Zulu, since I have quite the healthy respect for that culture, but Swahili is a much more widespread language, and more fitting.
2908779 Interesting. What kind of online translator are you referring to?
2912861
imtranslator.net, I believe it to be fairly reliable, certainly better than Google Translate, that's for sure.
2913312
2923252
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I plead the fifth. Not really, it says it "provides access", it does not run on Google Translator.
Great story, my one criticism:
If gnolls are related to hyenas, shouldn't Blackclaw be female?
3328003
. . . damn it! Friggity frig frag! I'm I zoologist major and I forgot that hyenas are matriarchal!
I quite enjoyed this story. The pacing was good (in my eyes anyway), you clearly put good thought into everything, and I liked the fact that you used actual Swahili. The actual show didn't, for reasons I can't quite remember...