- Member Since 25th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen May 21st, 2021
ScootalooBrony
Big Scootaloo Fan and enjoy TwiDash. Also enjoy HiE stories as well... but I shall write what comes to mind and which I can pour my heart and soul into.
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Yay. :flutteryay:
Liked it.
MOAR!
This would be a good start for all the human stories if it was the 1st one. But still a nice story and i am interested to see where,what & when the next part and events will be like (for instance the OC shitting his pants when he finds out the humans have no intelligence)
5423818 Yeah, I have read those YHAY stories and I'd figure not to really use that universe at all. I like reading it but I could not stand writing it (not really sure why but -shrugs-). Yeah, most likely be going over these two chapters and proof reading them again. As well Thanks
5423853 Haha, glad that you like it
You got it. I already have the next chapter in my head and will be writing it here soon. Though I plan the chapters longer then these two combine though.
5423978 Yeah, there are a lot of stories like these out there but that make it all the more fun. Makes ya push yourself harder to stand out from the rest. Trust me I will be having lots of fun with our dear human
Thank you for the compliment as well.
Pretty interesting so far. Glad its not another yhay with w.e making them mute... thought you were going that way for a bit.
Also i think you meant tap and not tab when he was dealing with the phone in the prologue. There were like two words in the second chapter i saw. Though it did not bother me at all.
I demand more.
5424478 Yeah, I'm going to be looking over the prologue and first chapter now. I looked it over last night and saw a lot of dumb mistakes. Eh, what I get for trying to push those two out asap. I'll be giving myself more time to overview any other chapter that I write after this. I shall find an editor if it really comes down to it. Only issue I figure I will have the most is just spelling and grammar.
I am glad that you are enjoying it besides the little ruff patches. It does means a lot.
I spent a lot of time on figuring out where I want to fully take this story and I just can not wait till see people reactions with what I got in store. If people do not like what I got in store... then -shrugs-. Nothing I can do about it (though I will take what people have to say seriously though) but trust me this is only the beginning of a long story. Getting very excited with what I have in store.
Oh Jesus. Lyra is going to FREAK.
Excellent cliffhanger point. There weren't any errors that I noticed, which is saying a lot. Please continue with the story. It's just starting to get interesting.
5428086 Huh, I kinda forgot about her. You do bring up a very good point however. I shall start thinking about her part in this story. I will be sure to bring her in at some point.
Currently working the second chapter now and there going to be some more things that i hope people will enjoy. I hope these couple next chapters will let people see this isnt a simple hie story but only time and words shall tell. Check my blog post that i made which will give you some info about how im going to go about this story with why its mark with sex, and when will release come out. Stuff like that.
Anyways, thanks for reading the story so far and glad you are enjoying it.
5424095 Well when i 1st saw this my brain was suddenly like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2GzTTfW5c4 But after reading it i had to give my thoughts about it AND THE AFTERMATH IS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMFg_aLpOfg
5429531 Yeah, I understand. It pretty much like every HiE with how it is atm but I been hard at work with chapter 2 to hopefully start to change that view on this story.
Hmm, do I sense Lyra appearing in the next chapter? Sounds interesting.
I like the conversation and how they acted with Discord. Also, Discord as a unicorn and turn into it by accidentally learning chaos magic which turn him into a draconequus is a interesting concept. Discord also made Luna into nightmare moon... I would like to hear about this more as it was not really explain but just brought up.
I do not think I heard about Luna and Celestia having their immortality given to them by their parents before but also their parents lose it by having children... interesting. So, I guess Luna and Celestia will lose their immortality as well if they were to have kids then.
All in all it had some interesting ideas and overall was an alright chapter. I am interested to see Lyra reaction to Austin if the "Her" is Lyra.
Yuy. Moar.
Reading this makes me go
, but when I see the spelling mistakes I go 
Keep it up
, I am loving the story!!!!! 
5439181 Yep, I'm trying my best. Taking time to kinda plan chapters out and get more of a clear idea where this story is going to go after I kinda set the groundwork. Hope to have a new chapter by the 11th at most. Though it could come out sooner which it might.
5445126 Good that.
Ooo. Moar.
5491787 Yeah going to be working on more. Had a lot of crap going on to where I could not write at all. Though I am already on chapter 5 and I hope to make it longer then 4.
5492539 *victory stance* YUS!
love it MOAR
So he'll never see his friends and family again.
...I'm going to have to say this.
THAT IS SO OVERDONE. Seriously. Every single human in Equestria story, this happens. Human taken from his home, never to see it again. This is nothing new. And it's depressing. And dickish of Discord. He has ruined someone's life for poops and giggles, essentially.
Fuck that guy.
5524793 Yes it is. Im sure if i ever do a new story i could do something better. As for Discord... well lets just say you will most likely hate him more then as the story goes on.
No, they're not
5571492 Oh wow.
Thanks for pointing that out. Cannot believe I made that mistake.
Went ahead and took the Gore and Dark tags off since I not sure how those really fit at all for what I got plan for the story.
Been working on the next chapter but I am not sure when it will be done as it going to be pretty lengthy since it pretty much goes over everything that happens the next day. Heck, the first day took 20k to tell but I not sure it will be that lengthy... maybe around 10k or so.
the story started off well, but when it came time for some actual dialogue the writing just fell apart. The speaking parts are clunky and forced, they break the flow immediately whenever they come up. Then in Silver Light's PoV the story just seems to fall apart, even the non-dialogue parts suddenly get strained and the writing quality just plummets; the grammar is off enough times to be noticeable, and you seem to be telling and not showing, breaking the flow even more. this story has potential, but until you streamline and edit it, it is too painful to read. I believe there are several groups on this site that can help you edit and provide Betas, so I suggest you check them out.
5641061
Yeah, I still do need to go through and really edit those three first chapters as I kinda flew through them to get them out. This was the first thing in forever that I have attempted to write. Been getting better but I'll look into the stuff you have suggested. Thanks.
erm, not to be a thorn in anypony's side, but I found the plethora of errors somewhat distracting. I'm gunna keep reading, but if it becomes to much, imma stop. I'll still give the story a like though, cuz I like the idea so far. the story seems interesting, even if it is a bit hard to read at points.
well, I tried to read this, but there were just too many errors, there wasn't enough showing the reader what was happening but a rather large description that made it easy to lose interest, and the writing seemed very broken. this is really hard to read, but don't feel bad about it, just keep trying, there's nowhere to go but up!
5671689
Yeah, I really need to just go over the and edit these chapters. The first two and prologue really need it also. First real attempt at writing one of these. Not going to give up on it ever. I'll just keep on going.
In a way I enjoyed this a little tidbit. Even it was a little rough in a couple places. At least you got the ball rolling in a good or in this characters case bad situation. Can't wait to get to the next chapter to see what happened. =)
5798095
Yeah, I've been away with real life stuff. I came back and re-read everything I have put up so far. I kinda want to slap myself in the head that even I was cringing at what I had just in the first couple chapters... I got a lot of editing to do with those chapters but I shall keep the story moving along. I got the direction where I want to take this story and everything in my head but not all that great when taking it from my head to the page in front of me. I have to start somewhere and maybe I can find me an someone to help me at one point.
However I do thank you for your honest opinion and do hope you will keep up with the story (when new chapters come out of course since not quite sure when that may be but SOON!).
They don't give you your diploma at graduation. They hold it hostage and mail it to you afterwards to discourage people from playing pranks during the ceremony.
So in this world I'm guessing EqG never happened since Twilight would know what humans were
I like it so far .
OMG this chapter had me LOTF.
I love this story it gets better and better.
MFDiscord he is always up to some shit .this is going to be a awesome story.
I know it was Lyra as soon as i saw the title of the chapter .I love it all.
This seems like the start of a good story, but there are a lot of errors. Normally, I'd just put them in the comments when there are just a few; however, if I put them all down here, it'll be quite a bit. If you'd like, I could go through and send it to you in a pm. If not me, I would recommend finding someone to edit/proofread these chapters for you.
All of this long work in life to be given a piece of paper that said you were good at something.
Yes just so blunt I love itimg4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131127110654/tomska/images/thumb/7/77/I_LOVE_IT.jpg/500px-I_LOVE_IT.jpg
This was a funny and awesome read ,It had be creaking up.
This was a awesome read and a awesome frist meetting of him and the main six
Dude I just started reading this and I am loving the whole mlp meets Planet of the Apes it is to good can't wait to see how it turns out keep up the good work
Yeah after coming back to this and having to re-read my notes and the actual story... I hate to admit I could not make it past my prologue before spotting all my lovely mistakes. So...I am going to be editing the current chapters (I have edited "Prologue" so far) and start getting this story back on track and going again. I put [Edited] next to the chapters once I have finish doing so with them. Once they been edited by moi, if there are still mistake. I'd love if you could point them out to me.
Also, sorry for my long absence. - ScootalooBrony
He's calmer to Lyra than I would've been.