All By Myself
He woke up in the Everfree. His first instinct was to ask the Queen what was happening. When he called out, however, no one answered.
Confused, the changeling took a look at his surroundings. Lush shrubbery mixed with decayed plant life all around him. Vines hung from old branches, and a sinister ambience enveloped the area. A small dirt path cut through the entire forest, lifeless. Squirrels chattered above him, hares sped by underhoof, but no fellow changeling was in sight.
Chilled by the mysterious atmosphere, the changeling found his four hooves and, trying to organize himself, took the obvious turn and set off down the path. Taking a glance up at the sky, he realized today was a fine, sunny afternoon. It should have been brighter, but the low-hanging canopy above him blocked out a majority of the sunlight.
"Hello?" The changeling called out. "Is there anychangeling out there?" Once again, no answer, save for the eerie rustling of small creatures.
"Anyone?... I'm all alone." Nothing. The chilling feeling running down the changeling's spine quickly became a knot in his stomach. With fear growing quickly inside of him, he set out on a nervous trot through the forest.
Five minutes in, it all seemed to loop again and again, as if he was trapped in there forever. The thought frightened the changeling further, and finally the fear began to show. He began trembling visibly, and his face contorted until he looked like he was ready to curl up and cry.
More forest answered every time the changeling called out for someone. He was beyond terrified at this point, and took some time to simply drop to the ground and bury his face in his hooves, just so he didn't have to accept he was by himself, to pretend for just a few moments that none of this was happening. Almost immediately after, he slowly rose up on violently shaking legs. Looking ahead at the endless forest in front him, he whimpered, "When will it end?"
"Never," a heart-stopping voice answered behind him.
"What—" the changeling spun around, and at once his blood froze. The voice that had replied had belonged to another changeling; one that hammered every single piece of fear one could feel into the changeling's heart.
The changeling in front of him was broken and decayed, the chitin of his exoskeleton heavily cracked in multiple places. Instead of a horn, the changeling sported nothing more than a bloody circle of muscle, as if the horn had been ripped from its owner. The wings were tattered and looked akin to shredded curtains. Some of the holes in its legs had clearly been put there by force. He looked almost like a living corpse, a zombie. And he was licking his lips with a malicious grin.
At once, the changeling turned and ran. The monster followed, right at his heels. Complete and utter terror took over the changeling's brain, driving him onward and refusing to let him stop. He scrambled over a tangle of brambles and sped for somewhere safe. The thicket behind him withered and died when the monster drew near it.
"What are you?!" The changeling screamed over his shoulder. It was the worst thing he could have done. In that split second he turned his head, he slammed his hoof into an aboveground tree root. Fire spread up his hoof as he tripped and shot forward, into the air. Not long after at all, he hit the ground. At once, the monster was upon him.
"I am everything you have ever feared," it snarled into his ear. "And I live to consume weaklings like you, just like the fears that reside deep inside your mind."
The changeling was mute. He simply stared, terrified, at the eyes glaring down at him. Fresh blood from the cracks in the monster's exoskeleton dripped down onto its victim. It burned like acid. The spur of pain seemed to give the changeling his voice back.
"Please!" He wailed. Tears formed in his eyes. "I don't want to die!"
"Isn't that a shame?" The monster cooed. It bared its fangs and lunged for the changeling's throat.
"Nonononono!" The changeling desperately thrust his hooves forward. He shoved against his attacker's neck and became locked within a battle of wills as he pushed against the thing trying to end his life. The monster growled and pushed harder, seemingly unfazed by the force against its trachea. A constant lightning bolt of pain shot through the changeling's injured hoof.
Slowly, gradually, the changeling's elbows began to bend. The creature above him brought its teeth nearer and nearer to the changeling's throat. Smiling gleefully, it opened its jaws wide. It was less than an inch from claiming the changeling's life. He was going to die. Tears streamed from his eyes. "Stop!" he sobbed. "P-please, just stop!"
"What are you doing here?"
The monster holding him down vanished. The blood burning into his shell dried up and left no trace. His hoof, however, was still on fire.
He shot to a standing position on his three good legs and looked up. Just ahead, not twenty feet from him, was a pony. A horn and wings jutted from her body, pale pink, like the rest of her coat. An alicorn. A rich mane flowed outwards, partially covering one side of her face. From the top of her mane, a crown stood proudly out. She glared daggers at the changeling like she wanted him dead. She probably did.
"I, uh I—"
"Silence!" the alicorn barked. "I know what you are. You're a changeling. You and your Queen tied me up and left me to die while she impersonated me and tried to invade Canterlot. My husband almost married her!" The Alicorn advanced menacingly on the changeling. "I was hoping for a quiet stroll through the forest, and instead I find this?!" She pointed at the changeling. "Get out of here!"
"W-wait!" the changeling cried. "Don't leave me here! There's a monster here! It's—" he swallowed a fear-induced sob. "—it's trying to kill me!"
The alicorn raised her eyebrow. "Are you stupid? There's nothing here!"
"But you... but you saw!" The changeling was incredulous. "There was this other changeling, but he was broken and dead-looking and... well, just horrible! It was on top of me! It was trying to tear my throat out!"
"Is that what you were screaming and wailing about?" snorted the alicorn. "In case you're seeing things, there's nothing here." She turned around. "I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye and—if that "monster" is real—good riddance!" She trotted in the other direction.
"Wait!" The changeling screamed. "Come back! I just want to live!" He limped after her. "Please!" She wasn't listening.
"It's too late," snarled a voice. The monster's voice, behind him again.
"...No," the changeling whimpered. His barely-dried tears resurfaced. "Oh, no."
"Oh, yes!" A weight hit his back. He hit the ground again. The monster bared its fangs once more. "Nothing can save you now!"
"Get off!" the changeling screamed. "Get away!' He scrabbled against the earth, praying he could dig himself out from under the creature's weight.
"Will you stop?" Once again, the monster vanished. Once again, the changeling looked up. Once again, the alicorn was back. The hatred and scorn in her eyes was mixed in with annoyance. "I already hate you enough! Stop wailing about some monster that doesn't exist! You're lucky I haven't killed you yet!"
"But... but..." the changeling stammered. "It was right here! On my back!"
"Suuuure it was," the alicorn drawled. She leaned in close. "Look, I don't know what is causing you to act like this, but I've had enough. If you don't shut up and stop making up stories about this stupid 'monster', I will kill you like I should have killed your Queen." She pushed him back to the ground. "Now shut up and leave me in peace!" She spread her wings and shot through the canopy of the forest.
A deafening silence engulfed the changeling. Slowly, he forced himself back onto three hooves. Fear ran through him. What was he going to do?
Suddenly, he felt something tap his shoulder.
"I believe we have some unfinished business."
Because of their breeding expectations and hive sociology, most changelings are born with autophobia and trypophillia. This fuels their desire to stay close to one another; however, studies have shown that their autophobia is so strong that they are willing to be with anyone who won't kill them, including anypony that hates them. It is believed that if a changeling's autophobia is in effect for too long, they will begin to suffer hallucinations, usually seeing the corpses of fallen brethren walking and talking.
"Interesting," Twilight Sparkle said as she turned the page. Spike, who had been peeking at the book out of curiosity, asked, "Autophobia?"
"Yes." Twilight nodded. "It definitely sounds familiar, but I just can't quite remember what it means."
Almost on instinct, Spike pulled a large dictionary out of seemingly nowhere. He grabbed the Changeling information book, plopping the dictionary on Twilight's desk. "Here ya go, I guess."
"Thanks, Spike." Twilight opened the book and began searching. "Au...auto...Here we are! Autophobia!" Together, Twilight and Spike peered at the definition.
Autophobia (ah-toh-FOH-bee-uh) [n.]:
The irrational fear of being alone.
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Pretty grim. The dark atmosphere was definitely a+omnipresent and that ending was pretty terrifying. The only comment I have is Cadence saying she will kill the changeling. I don't think she would actually do that, but again it is all up for interpretation. I love how you used their hive mentality to portray this ominous tale. Superb work!
Cadance is REALLY OOC.
5354615 She probably is, but I decided to portray her like this because of the events in the Season 2 finale probably left her with an undying hatred of any and all Changelings. Considering they almost ruined her life, tricked her husband into marrying someone else, and tried to take over Canterlot, there might be a decent chance she would act this way around Changelings.
Also, I've never watched any episodes with Cadance in them, so I don't know how she behaves.
Besides, if you read the ending, you can interpret it as you please. Maybe Cadance was actually there, maybe she was a manifestation of the Changeling's hopelessness. In the end, it's up to the reader.
P.S. I don't want to be rude, but another comment like this, and I probably will respond a little more harshly. I don't appreciate blunt or unhelpful criticism. (Then again, I don't like sugar coating either)
5354671 Not like that, safe to say.
5354398 I definitely wouldn't call this superb, but I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as you did.
5354676
#ChangelingSwagOfRandomBullcrapNoOneReallyCaresAbout
more
5355482 If some viewers want a sequel that much, I guess I'll write one; this was fun to do.
Maybe if enough people like the sequel, I'll get some more followers.Then again, this isn't the kind of story that can have a sequel go off of it...I'll see where it goes!
P.S. That username doe...
#Exterminate
5356086 I am a rebel dalek, i dont exterminate unless its a different dalek..
but still, #Exterminate, Regenerate
5363133 Sorry, but...
That's not how Daleks work. They're born with destructive tendencies. The desire to cause pain is literally in their genes. Their brain is programmed to block out any and all morality.
If you're not like them, you're a genetic defect, and they probably would've...*ahem* "exterminated" you.
Still, though, a Delek protagonist would have been awesome.
5363158 Rebel daleks are a thing... if you want me to, ill give a reason to how we are like this
5363246 There was that one "sick" Dalek that the 12th Doctor tried to turn good but just made him want to exterminate other Deleks, and that's just about it.
5363474 Watch some CLASSIC who some time, dude.
...Classic Doctor Who?
Fuck no! Get that shit away from me!
Wait a minute...
We're having a debate over what Rebel Daleks are.
On a fucking MLP website.
I'm just going to shut up so that we don't end up talking about something even less related. I'm just gonna...umm...
I got nothing.
Seriously, though, out of the seven Doctors I've seen, I only like David Tennant and Matt Smith.
Interesting, what is the princess of love doing alone in the forest anyways? Seems like she's blowing off steam, and unfortunately the object of her ire stumbles across her path...
Poor thing didn't even know the problem existed before it was too late....
Keep going! ;)
5366020 She was hoping for a stroll.
It see in DA sturreeeee
In our opinion this is your best piece yet.
The main beef we have with this fic is Cadence. We agree with Lunaexcelsior that Cadence was maybe a tad harsh on the changeling. However, your argument as to why she is also has merit.
We sympathize with the changeling, being separated from your own kind sucks, and you drove that home beautifully. You have our vote to make a sequel if you so desire.
5387688 DEM COMPLIMENTS
MAKE ME GLOWY
Right, so you wanted my critique.
Overall, the story is alright. The main issues are nitpicks.
If you were alone, you would not sum up your situation. You would keep pleading. tl;dr the immersion was broken.
The only other issue is Cadance. While she would have been unfriendly and such, she would not have been a blur between indifference and hatred. I'm not quite sure how she would have actually acted, but you did not handle her character well.
Apart from those, you did a fine job with the changelings little 'descent into madness' as far as I can tell and I mostly liked the way you concluded the story. It would have been better if it was directly connected to the rest of the story. Maybe Cadance tells Twilight about the changeling.
Since the story has all these issues and isn't part of my regular genre preferences but still manages to tell its story well enough to get positive responses, I give you a meh + which is borderline yay - (my ranking system is best ranking system)
5425186 Thanks for the critique. Glad you sorta-kinda-please-don't-hurt-me liked it.
The "I'm all alone" was sort of a little last-resort call/plea/whatever. Sorta like how a kid screams and wails for some more ice cream and at the very end whispers, "I'll best your best friend." sorta like that. Personally, I don't feel like that should be changed, but I agree in which the rest definitely needs to be fixed.
Thanks to the events in the season 2 finale, I wanted to make Cadance act angry and hateful toward the Changeling, but obvious I failed. (SO MUCH OOC!) The end was sort of a semidark explanation as to why the Changeling was losing his shit, but yeah, I could have done better.
Maybe I'll fix it and make it awesome-Senpai-Sama-sauce.
5425220 as I said, they were nitpicks.
Well that was a great read. Small but very enjoyable.
I can't help but wonder, what will become of the changeling? Nevertheless a interesting topic to explore which made a great short story.
5616195 It has a sequel, if that helps.
5616205 I'll be heading there shortly.
5616221
5616221 Make sure to review it in the comments section!
This reminds me awfully of the weeping angels in doctor who.
Now I want to write about the devourer... one of my own creations. Hmmm...
Very good, I approve. Maybe you'll write more?