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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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(I know i like to apologize, but i am tired, and not sure that i have written it the way i want, but i wait for your reaction first)
I liked that chapter, but i choosed not to listen to the music, the music was not bad, but i think it wasn´t that fitting for me.
I am happy how the fight ended, but i was a bit confused about what that amulet had done he whole time, however i think i understand it now.
I liked how you had written Maud in the end, and right now it looks like Maud would prefer Mary as her first prey, i guess that is okay, since Platinum didn´t got much from Trixie till now.
While Maud isn´t the one that is the boss in their relationship, i guess she is the one who keeps them together, and she is somehow helping them to open up to the idea of having more than one special somepony. I like it that Trixie is her personal little moon, and probably still her favourite.
I guess you could say Mary is somehow the boss?, but at he same time i am not sure how much exactly she is able to decide.
Platinum is probably the naiv nestling?, however i like it the way she is still a bit silly like Trixie, but then again she is still following everything that Trixie is telling her.
I am not sure if i got everything right (grammar, and i am tired), but i tried to describe how i see them right now.
Please try to keep Maud under controll, i had seen a fanfiction, where Maud even didn´t thought it was wrong to sleep with her sister, and Rarity, and Trixie at the same time, she really had a weird mind in that fanfiction.
I don´t think you are going to do that, but i guess it would be easy to remind me of those things if i see Maud to weird.
I would have loved it to read more tonight, but it is already very late, i need to be ready for tomorrow.
Good job, and good night.
5988471
First off the music was just to set a mood. If you had something better in mind that's up to you. I don't judge.
I decided to establish a sort of hierarchy for their relationship. Mary's the go-to leader, Trixie is secondary in a way, Maud is the level headed one, and Platinum is the young eager one. So to be frank, you got their roles down more or less so good work friend! Twilight is pleased.
As for what you meant by Muad being under control, I'm not sure I follow on that one.
What do you mean by this?
Hope to hear from you soon!
5989964 well i tried to mention, that i had seen a Maud which had a mental problem, she had no problem with everything that would count as a taboo in our real world.
For Trixie she would even have sex with her own sister, but the part that was bad for me was, that she wasn´t able to understand what she did the whole time, just thought it would be to normal, and Trixie felt bad because of that.
I guess i just mean that i don´t want Maud to be crazy in a way, if she want sex or something like that she can get it, but i still hope she doesn´t try to force/trick them into it.
I meant something like that, just a thought i had because of another story.
I think i like how there roles are.
5990137 That to me would fall under the rape category, so no that'll never happen. And even IF it did I'd let the readers know LONG before that even happened. So, don't worry about that happening. There will be plenty of controversy issues as is. Good lord knows there has been already with the same sex relationships and so forth thus far.
Glad you like the roles everypony has. Took a while to establish that instory.
That...was...EPIC!
The fighting. The vanishing bracelet. The chase. The ending. All of it.
Excellent work!