My Littlest Pony©

"Twilight!" Spike called as he ran into the library. Twilight lifted up her head, and saw Spike holding up the newest additions to My Littlest Pony © . She was a little unimpressed about Spike's love to play with figurines. "It's Ponyville addition with an extra Wild Creatures Pack! It has all of us! You, Me, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and some other residents. The Wild Creatures Pack has some dragons, phoenixes, and other things. Can you believe it?!?" he said, his voice sounding more excited by the second.

"That's great Spike. You have fun with that." Twilight said. Spike giggled as he ran down the stairs to the basement, where the rest of the plastic Equestria laid. Only a few ponies knew about his love for the little figurines. But what does confuse him is that there are even figurines of those mean teenage dragons he faced when he went to the migration. He shrugged it off, It might have been a coincidence. At least he had some new bad guys.

He openned up the Ponyville pack up, and placed down the city for the little figurines. Then taking out the figurines, he smiled as he put one by one in the city. He now almost had an entire replica of Equestria, even though it took plenty of his allowance. He paticuarly picked up his own figurine and notice how much it looked like him. How did they get it so perfect?

That doesn't matter right now. It was time to play.

Spike watched as the most beautiful mare he has ever laid eyes on passed by. Instead of ignoring him, she turned to him ever so gracefully, fluttering her eyes. "Good morning Spikey-Wikey." Rarity said.

"Hi Rarity..." Spike replied in a Smile. Rarity approached Spike a bit more. "You look very pretty today Spike." she complimented, a bit out of character. Spike smiled dumbly as he seemed to float. Rarity then pecked a kiss on Spike's chee-

"SPIKE! It's time for dinner!" Twilight yelled down into the basement. Spike grumbled about being interrupted. He wanted to play more. Twilight sat a large bowl of gemstones down for Spike to eat, hoping he would spend his time eating it. But instead, he wolfed it all down in a matter of seconds. Baby Dragons gotta play, Twi. Spike then walked back donwstairs, and Twilight felt a bit ignored.

She wouldn't mind hanging out with Spike like she did before he started loving his collection of figurines. She sighed as she poked her fork around in her salad.

Spike then thought it was time to resume, but then, make the story a bit more interesting.

Rarity then pecked a kiss on Spike's cheek, when.... DISCORD CAME OUT OF FLIPPING NO WHERE! Discord flew down and grabbed Rarity, who screamed at a high frequency. 'Don't worry my sweet! I will save you!" Spike yelled to Rarity. Rarity continued to flail her hooves around, while Discord crackled evilly, taking her up to the mountain in the Everfree. Spike ran after him as fast has he could.

When he reached Discord's evil lair, Discord had...

Spike paused, and opened up the Wild Creatures pack.

Discord had... AN ARMY OF DRAGONS! Dun, Dun, Duuunnn! Spike smirked. This would be too easy. He approached one of the dragons, trying to be as layed back as possible. The dragons snarled at him, but when Spike punched one in one's gut; it was knocked back at alarming speeds, and the rest of the dragons were afraid of him, and bowed their heads.

Discord frowned and looked at Spike with anger. Discord tossed Rarity to the side rather harshly, and approached Spike. Discord made the first move, giving Spike and uppercut. Spike flipped in the air seven times, and landed on his feet. He rushed at Discord again, and kicking him to kingdom come. Discord was kicked so hard, he was probably traveled to seven different dimensions.

Spike then ran to comfort Rarity. She smiled and asked Spike one question, "Spike, will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes! I will Rarity." Spike replied. Skip ahead to the wedding, and Spike stood in his lovely tux, and Rarity in her wedding dress. It was all to perfect... until...

Spike tapped his chin as he thought what would happen.

Until... IT TURNED OUT CELESTIA WAS THE QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS! The queen laughed and looked down at Spike. "Oh, so your the baby dragon that is getting married? How sweet." she said. Spike was not pleased, and punched this villain. The villain then flew into the sky, and exploded into a lovely display of fireworks. Spike smiled at Rarity, and she smiled back at him. They then kissed. The End.

Spike smiled content-like on how it turned out. Spike then put the figurines back to where they belong, so he will remember where they go. "Spike! Bed time!" Twilight called from upstairs. Spike turned his attention to the clock, and of course, it was bed time. Time flies by when your having fun.

He then walked upstairs to the bathroom, and brushed his teeth. Twilight stood in the doorway and watched Spike. "Wut?" Spike talked through his toothpaste.

"I was thinking that we should go somewhere. Maybe Canterlot and spend the night with Shining Armor and Candence." she said.

"But, I dun't wunna gu!" Spike's voice garbled through the toothpaste. Twilight tilted her head, and Spike spit out the toothpaste. "I don't want to go!" he repeated.

"I didn't ask if you did. We are going tomorrow." She demanded.

"But Twi-"

"No buts. Now lets go to bed." She concluded. Spike was just about to go upstairs, but then he though of something. "Hold on Twilight. I'll be there in a second." he said. Twilight gave him a stare, and then walked upstairs into her room. Spike then ran back into the basement, and picked up the figurine version of himself. He felt bonded to his figurine self, and was just about to take it back upstairs, when a wacky idea hit his mind.

Twilight might take it away! Spike then looked for a good place to hide it on the way back. The only option was... he stuffed it in his mouth, and ran upstairs. "Good night, Spike." Twilight said. Spike made a "Mhm" and laid in bed, then taking the figurine out of his mouth.

It was still okay, just a little bit covered in his spit. He was going to take it with him to Canterlot. He then hid it under his pillow, and laid his head on the pillow. He then fell asleep.

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Comments ( 35 )

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lordelliott

lordelliott #1 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

Dark? Meh, guess I'll risk it.

Gijake1

Gijake1 #2 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510052

Trust me, the dark is going to be very, VERY, light.

lordelliott

lordelliott #3 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510057 Ok. (Prepares to have mind shattered. )

Magnum-opuS

Magnum-opuS #4 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

I'm already depressed...
This is good writing but it's still a sad fic.

Childishness is a natural state for the young of heart and an illness for the mature of mind.
The world of the infantile is bright in a porcelain way.
Opaque, quaint, polished by caring hands and secure in a sterility that is caustic to intellectual awareness.
Good work...but now I'm sad
i.imgur.com/0BEn0.jpg

Gijake1

Gijake1 #5 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510084

Sad?

I never actually thought of it that way....

Well, it's best to enjoy the world childhood is when your young.

As for a head canon fact here,
Cartoon characters never age in my eyes. So Spike gets to enjoy the wonders of childhood as long as possible.

And so what if maturation escapes the mind? Kiddies are supposed to enjoy the unawareness that is the real world.

Gijake1

Gijake1 #6 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510159

......

.....

Uuuhhh...

FirstToStrike

FirstToStrike #7 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

Magnum-opuS

Magnum-opuS #8 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510167

okay I'm done... I was just pullin' your leg, Bruh!!!!

I'll be checkin' this story out when you update it.
it'll be nice to see how you tackle Spike growing up...

Stay cool,homie.

I'm out to work on my own fic. Check it out whenever, bruh!

lordelliott

lordelliott #9 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

Hmm, I'm not sure about this. The best parts were when Spike was playing, but I sense this suffers from a lack of writing experience? On the other hand, some of the errors/poor writing could have been on purpose judging by the tone of the story, so I am a little confused. I'll withhold judgement until I get a response.

Gijake1

Gijake1 #10 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510199

Errors? Could you point them out for me?

Also, I have had SOME experience.... But I don't think I have much. I took a break for a bit, so I may be a bit "rusty".

EDIT:

Spike's stories is actually his own "fiction" as I should call it, where he is the "strongest" thing alive, and can win the girl with ease, if that is where you are going with this.

Magnum-opuS

Magnum-opuS #11 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510208

Your use of italics and bold is good enough,but that one line: dun!dun!duuuun! really doesn't need the underline, though I understand how you want to give it a nice touch for effect.

Dracoraun

Dracoraun #12 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

"No, Spike! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!" Sorry, that's just what I thought when I first saw it.

Gijake1

Gijake1 #13 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510306

images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw508_130894247120.jpg

Dracoraun

Dracoraun #14 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510315 Yes, yes it is.

lordelliott

lordelliott #15 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510208 Well, I'm on a HTPC with a somewhat limited interface atm, but I'll grab a few examples.

"That doesn't matter right now. It was time to play."

Switched from present to pass tense inappropriately. There are some instances of this.

""SPIKE! It's time for dinner!" Twilight yelled down into the basement. Spike grumbled about being interrupted. He wanted to play more. Twilight sat a large bowl of gemstones down for Spike to eat, hoping he would spend his time eating it. But instead, he wolfed it all down in a matter of seconds. Baby Dragons gotta play, Twi. Spike then walked back donwstairs, and Twilight felt a bit ignored.

She wouldn't mind hanging out with Spike like she did before he started loving his collection of figurines. She sighed as he poked her fork around in her salad. Spike then thought it was time to resume, but then, make the story a bit more interesting."

This whole exchange is awkward. It suffers "this then that" writing, and I found it off-putting the way you switched back and forth between Spike and Twilight after Spike left the room.

"He then walks upstairs to the bathroom, and brushes his teeth. Twilight stood in the doorway and watched Spike. "Wut?" Spike talked through his toothpaste."

Again, past/present tense mixing.

"Oh, so your the baby dragon that is getting married?"

Should be "you're". There were some other spelling errors like that and an "and" where there should have been an "an".

So, anyway, the story's writing is kind of childish, but I can't tell if that's on purpose (Like, as if childish Spike wrote it) or not. If that's what you're trying to pull off, it would work better if, ever now and then, you juxtaposed that writing with a more adult perspective (Twilight or a narrator) or if you establish somehow that Spike is telling the tale. If that was not on purpose, then ...

I do like it, although there isn't much to go off of so far. I certainly won't be clicking the thumbs down.

Gijake1

Gijake1 #16 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510362

"Oh, so your the baby dragon that is getting married?"

That one was done on purpose. Spike's stories are not supposed to be "perfect" but with a few mistakes.

But, mostly, yes, the story DOES have a perspective from Spike, so the thing is supposed to be childish.

...

(It's also an excuse because I rushed just a tad, I need to stop doing that.)

lordelliott

lordelliott #17 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510398 Just roll with it, eh?

Gijake1

Gijake1 #18 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510404

images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw789_tumblr_lqqtscFj7q1qjmjvko1_1280.png

lordelliott

lordelliott #19 · Apr 28th, 2012 · · ·

510405 Nice image.

So yeah, put on your best writers cap and do the most elegantly written Twilight's perspective as possible juxtaposed to this, and my rating would go up several stars.