My Very Little Pony

by thegamerator10

Big Trouble, Little Ponies

Author's Note:

So, more than a year (I think) after this story's initial release, I've become a more experienced writer, and here I am, on March 10, 2016, rewriting the story.

The reason I indirectly introduced Twilight and Pinkie initially was for newcomer bronies who maybe found this story first. Kind of a long shot, really, considering "I don't know, Zef. Maybe they'd ask other bronies for descriptions or get from the show itself?"

It's not a complete rewrite, but just a revision of the ending. I only now decided, "Screw it, we're redoing this."

"Okay, one more time!" Twilight remarked. She was trying out a new spell she picked up, a shrinking spell, which she and Spike dubbed "number 47". She was attempting to shrink an apple down to a small size. She had tried... roughly 16 times. Each time was a failure; either the spell simply didn't work, or it totally backfired and made the apple more than 5 times its original size. Luckily, she knew a reverse spell.

"Please work!" she said, over and over, hoping to draw some sense into her magic. Once more, the apple grew, but not down to a smaller size (or perhaps it did shrink, just not enough for someone to see that it did). She was ready to give up.

"Ugh. Once more, another dud. Spike, you want this apple?" she asked, defeated.

"Nah, I'm good, Twilight," Spike replied.

"Ugh..." Twilight sighed. "Well, one final time," she said. Once more she tried, and finally, her quest for a smaller apple scale was complete.

"It worked. It worked! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKED!" she celebrated. "But just to be sure..." she whispered as she tried to shrink a nearby book.

Suddenly, a voice shattered her concentration. "Hey, Twilight!" a pony said. The voice belonged to Pinkie Pie. Twilight's concentration interception sent a pulse of magic that seemed to continue for Celestia-knows-when. It found its way to Pinkie, and caused her to shrink.

"Ooh, is this a new party trick, Twilight? I'd love to learn how to do it!" Pinkie's small voice said. She was no more than the size of a filly's toy by now.

"Oh my gosh, Pinkie! Are you alright?!" Twilight asked, alarmed.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be, silly?" Pinkie answered.

"Oh my gosh, this. Is. So! FASCINATING!" Twilight replied, ecstatic. Pinkie kept her wide grin on as Twilight ran some quick tests. Spike's voice came from... The floor? And was it higher and smaller?

"Twilight, what happened? I was about to eat some gems Rarity gave me and- SWEET CELESTIA WHEN DID YOU GET SO TALL?!?!" Spike alarmingly said.

"Spike, you shrank too?" Twilight asked.

"Umm... What?"

"Spike, I didn't grow. You shrank," Twilight replied.

"Number 47 backfired?" he asked.

"It didn't. Apparently something happened to where you shrank like Pinkie," she said as she pointed to the small, pink pony to her side.

"Whoa, weird..." he replied. "I'm gonna go lie down."

"Okay, Spike," Twilight replied. Spike started for the stairs, but stopped on his journey and pointed to them, implying that Twilight needed to help him up. She rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs with him in a magic envelope. She set him down on his little bed.

She walked back downstairs and focused her attention on solving the dilemma she created for Pinkie.

"Pinkie, I'm thinking we should go through town and see if this has happened to anypony else," Twilight said.

"Okie doki loki!" Pinkie replied.

As the two walked out of the library, they noticed a state of panic evident in everypony's eyes. "WHAT'S HAPPENED TO US?!?!" some said. "Does anyone know the answer?!" more asked. Twilight's eyes were the size of pie plates and her mouth was wide open. Everypony in town was shrunken down to a small size.

"Oh, no!" Twilight said. "I must have emitted a magical pulse of the spell when I got startled! Pinkie, I told you to knock each time you want to enter my house in fear that something like this would happen!"

"Oopsie..." Pinkie replied.

"We'd better check on our friends," Twilight concluded. "Ooh, this'll be hard." If everypony was small, her chances of accidentally stepping on someone and crushing them were quite high. Nevertheless, she went on, teleporting to no-panic zones along the way. She could've sworn ponies were giving her dirty looks when she looked down, as if to say they know who the perpetrator of their shrinkage was. Despite this, she moved, and no ponies were harmed along the way.

---

The trek was short, but felt long as the number of ponies that almost got squashed by Twilight grew. She got to Fluttershy's house and knocked on her door.

"Fluttershy, are you home?... Have you been experiencing acts of shrinkage lately?" Twilight asked, Pinkie Pie on back.

"Yes. Be careful when you come inside!" Fluttershy's even smaller voice answered.

As Twilight stepped inside the cottage, she nearly stepped on a small Fluttershy. The now-small pegasus was shaking and making a blocking stance with her forehooves, feebly trying to stop the oncoming demise. Thankfully, Twilight looked down before she actually did.

"Whoa. That was a close one!" Twilight remarked.

"S-so, d-do you know who d-did this?" Fluttershy asked, shaking.

"I did. On accident. Pinkie walked in and startled me while I was trying to cast a shrinking spell on an apple. The concentration intercept sent a pulse of the spell's magic across Ponyville," Twilight replied.

"I just wanted to borrow a book of good pranks for me and Rainbow Dash to try," Pinkie remarked.

"Why did you want to use a shrinking spell on an apple?" Fluttershy asked.

"To make packaging easier. It may be smaller, but it has the same amount of nutrients and flavor as normal-sized apples. It could really help apple farmers like Applejack," Twilight implied. "Speaking of which, we'd better go see what's happened to her."

"Good idea," Fluttershy remarked.

---

Walking to Sweet Apple Acres was, again, a long trek. Some ponies were still having panic attacks and running around. Finally, the trio arrived at Applejack's farmhouse. The door creaked open as Twilight knocked.

"Applejack?" Twilight called.

"Twilight? S'that you?" Applejack answered.

"Yeah. I accidentally cast a shrinkage spell that turned everypony small. Are you small right now?" Twilight asked.

"Uh-huh. One second I'm buckin' apples. The next, the grass is my height! And you say you caused this?" Applejack replied.

"Yeah... I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Sugarcube. Not the first time I've been small, anyway," Applejack implied. Not long ago, Applejack had been turned small by Poison Joke. Zecora, a friend, gave a cure to her and her friends.

"Can we go see Rarity?" Pinkie asked.

"She's probably scared. REALLY scared," Fluttershy implied.

"We probably should," Twilight concluded.

---

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed a small, white, purple-maned pony. Twilight couldn't even make it to Rarity's door before she cringed at her incredible shriek.

"Wow. You were right, Fluttershy. She is scared!" Twilight remarked. She entered the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rarity screamed again.

"Rarity, what's wrong?" Twilight asked.

"And that's not a scream!" Pinkie added. The three ponies that weren't screaming flashed disapproving looks at Pinkie. "...What?" she said in response.

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!?! I CAN'T FIND MY SEQUENCE!!! I CAN'T FIN- Oh, there it is," Rarity said in relief. To this, Applejack's hoof suddenly met her face with a smack!

"Why is the sequence basket big? And Twilight, when did you get so tall?" Rarity wondered.

"I tried to test out a shrinkage spell, and it accidentally sent out a pulse that shrank everypony," Twilight replied.

"Well, now. I can certainly see why the shop is so big now. My, darling. You must have your hooves full," Rarity said.

"Her back is full, too!" Pinkie replied, referring to her friends.

"Well, maybe Rainbow Dash hasn't felt the effects, considering she spends most of her time in the sky," Fluttershy implied.

"Maybe we should go see her," Applejack concluded. Twilight, with her four friends on her back, started for Rainbow Dash's usual relaxation place.

---

"TAKE THAT! AAANNDD THAT!" A blue pegasus yelled. Rainbow Dash was attempting to clear away a cloud that, to her, "grew larger".

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight called.

Rainbow slowed down to a glide. "Hey, Twilight! Just clearing away this cloud. It got bigger for some reason. But, you know what they say, 'The bigger they are, the harder they fall.!... Say... Have you gotten bigger?" Rainbow asked.

"She didn't get bigger, Dashie! You got smaller!" Pinkie replied.

"...Weird. Were you trying out a new spell or something?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes. A shrinkage spell. I want to use it on an apple, but I accidentally emitted a pulse of magic, and everypony turned to the size of our friends here," Twilight implied as Pinkie smiled and waved.

"Whoa. We'd better go back to your place and see if there's something we can do," Dash replied. Twilight and everypony agreed and nodded as she trotted back to her library. As Twilight walked away, Dash flashed a look that said "I'm gonna get you" and "This isn't over" to the cloud she was trying to clear.

---

Twilight looked through tens, maybe hundreds of books, and found no cure, to her dismay.

"We'll be stuck like this forever?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I don't know how I'll make another dress if I remain this size!" Rarity remarked.

"Oh, my! The animals will be in more danger if I'm like this!" Fluttershy implied.

"This is fun!," Pinkie said.

"I'll never be able to buck another apple again!" Applejack said, alarmed. Twilight looked outside. An angry mob appeared to start forming in front of the Golden Oak Library. Twilight hurriedly looked through more books, with the intensity of the situation increasing. It didn't help that everypony in town was equipped with the knowledge that Twilight cast the spell. Nevertheless, it was hopeless.

"Don't you know a reverse spell?" Applejack asked.

"I don't!" Twilight said, distraught. Voices came from little ponies, reaching her ears quite easily.

"EVERYTHING'S TOO BIG!!!" the voices said.

Twilight realized in that moment just what the obvious solution was. That gives me an idea, she thought. She teleported outside and unleashed another wave of magic, shrinking Ponyville and the non-pony creatures residing within. When the deed was done, everything was small enough to compensate for the inch-high residents.

"This isn't so bad."

"There's really no difference, is there?" Many of the voices that were enraged just a minute ago seemed appeased now.

"Only one last pony to shrink," Twilight said, still a titan compared to the others. She focused her magic on herself and performed the shrinkage spell. When all was said and done, she was as big as the other ponies who were victims of her outburst of magic. With that, everyone went through the rest of their day, completely forgetting about their rage against the lavender unicorn.

---

Princess Celestia walked into Ponyville, surprised to see it so miniature.

"Oh my!" she remarked.

Comments

[MLPfan438]

Can't wait to see where it goes from here.

[thegamerator10]

5290049 If you're thinking about other chapters, it's a one-shot. After I finished, I forgot to set the status from "Incomplete" to "Complete".

[MLPfan438]

5290379 oh, that actually makes a lot of sense

[Spirit Guide]

There's a folder in a group that this story really belongs in
You should put it there
Ponies, Big and Small

[CommanderX5]

You need to work on the pacing, it is way waaaaay to fast.

[thegamerator10]

5294786 KNEW IT!!!

Uhh... Thanks!

I think the line where it says "Dash flashed a look that said 'I'm gonna get you' and 'This isn't over' to the cloud she was trying to clear," was easily some of my most comedic writing. Every time I think about that line, I lose it.

[thegamerator10]

5292230 But do you see anything that sparks your interest? Something that pleases you?

In short, did you find it enjoyable?

[CommanderX5]

5376079
Not really I am afraid. Sorry.

[thegamerator10]

5376915

[CommanderX5]

5406448

I will give you few advices:
First off, never rush anything. Give some time and words to introduce situation, location and characters, and make the reader feel that the ponies move from one place and situation to another in natural pace instead with a speed of light.

It is alwyas good to start with place introduction, for example, sacrefice one or two sentences to show how the room or area where the ponies are looks like, or if you can, have one pony describe the area by looking at it.
Never make walls of expositions. Try to show or explain something by making characters talk to each other, or by describing something shortly.
Try not to be to repetitive with words. especially with names. If you see 5 "Twilight said" in one sentence, give some variarity like: "the unicorn" "she" and so on.

If you want to write a tiny pony story, I think you can learn a trick or two form story I wrote: "Celestia's Tiny Student"
This was my first story I wrote, and I had huge problem with writing walls filled with exposition and I was rushing, or telling instead of showing (for example, instead of writting "Twilight looked cute as she slept on Celestia's wing," it is much better to write "Twilight perched herself against the princess's wing, sinking into the sea of soft feathers before curling into a little purple ball. A sight which put a cheerful smile on Celestia's face while melting her heart."
With help of many pre-readers, I rewrote the "prologue" at least 4-5 times. Just take a good look at it, and it may help you learn how to start a tiny pony story.

If you would prefer to take example of higher quality tiny-Twilight story, check this "Ponyville's Tiny Librarian" This is a sequel I wrote when I was more experienced writter. I would suggest you to look into "prologues" in both of those stories and use them as example how to start a story of your own.

I hope I helped. Good luck.

[CastleFrt128]

5407664 Sometimes constructive criticism can be taken too far, to which your comment is a prime example. Don't get me wrong, I do agree with what you're saying (to an extent) but a more gentle approach is better in the long run. Instead of writing your wall of text stating all the negatives, and problems with the story, try being more positive and encouraging; being that direct and simply focusing on the problems is most likely going to make the author feel terrible, which is very wrong and generally means your advice will be seen as rude and ignorant of his/her's feelings, which again is very wrong.
You may not be trying to come across this way, but believe me it is bound to happen and cause others' pain, which again you guessed it very wrong; please just take my advice to heart and don't be blind of others' feelings No hard feelings

5406448 Don't mind him/her, he's/she's just a bit what's the word I'm looking for silly that's the one. He/she should learn from his/her mistakes if he/she takes the hint

Anyway, I kinda went off on a tangent... Sorry about that
This is how one does constructive criticism properly, take this as an example CommanderX5
"I liked the story as a whole, and found the premise to be silly and enjoyable; you might want to work on the pacing and transitions, because the story felt a little rushed.
An example would be when Twilight darnit can't use magically because of... well... magic spontaneously perfect fit! arrived at Sweet Apple Acres and then found tiny AJ almost instantly. I would've like it better if Twilight, upon arrival, called out to AJ and then not having received an answer, would travel to the farmhouse to find Granny Smith, Applebloom, and Big Mac. to ask where AJ was earlier. Then after being told she was out bucking apples, Twilight would head out to find her.
However, even with these issues I did still enjoyed the read.
Don't feel down about all the criticism, we all learn from practice, and writing is difficult to properly master. With a little nudge in the right direction I'm sure you'll improve greatly in your works.

[thegamerator10]

5480544 I will say that I think I'm not built for authorship. Though, Name Tag, MVLP, and Never Forget... were my aces.

[CastleFrt128]

5480737 I like to offer help in any way I can, whether that be helping aspiring writers become better at the craft, or simply leading others' out of the darkness
I realize that my writing has a different demeanor than that of my peers, plus it seems to come more easily to me. That being said, I humbly try and help others that struggle or need a little direction.

The trick to writing is letting your imagination guide you, while your grammar makes or breaks the product. We all have different styles of writing, which makes us special and also turns each paragraph into its own work of art.
You have a very creative mind and imagination, which some of the most skilled writers lack. Plus I'm certain you have great potential, based on what you've already written. Just remember, the key to a successful story is fluency from one paragraph to the next, and details that make the reader be able to picture every scene, and connect with the characters on an emotional level. Let your imagination soar, creative mind thrive, and then fluently type all of your ideas onto the page.
The most important thing to remember is not to rush into things, take it slow, and make everything flow as if it were a river of words.

[thegamerator10]

5481071 I'll take that as a compliment!