A sad and sorrowful plot

Twilight was on the last leg of her power; she was going to die, then and there, with Tirek smirking down at her, his right hand open, ready to grasp Twilight's helpless body and eat her magic out. Twilight's body wasn't ready at all; her horn was flaccid and hanging, with the magic remaining at an all time low. This time would be the first she would be violated by a centaur.

"Wow... you blew all of your magical load in 2 minutes. I'm thoroughly disappointed," said Tirek, licking his lips as he eyed the tiny specimen before him. He grabbed Twilight firmly, her body as tiny as an ant to Tirek. Which was all the more exciting for him; he was going to enjoy what was going to follow thoroughly. His long, wet tongue thirstily shot towards Twilight, longing for more even after sucking on Twilight's five friends and even Discord.

Twilight's mind was racing, and was desperately looking for a way out of this. Her heart thumped wildly as she willed all of the remaining power in every cell of her body into her horn. Her horn grew erect and started spurting out hot, thick liquid rainbow juice, and all of a sudden the whole forested landscape around them flashed a bright white. Tirek was momentarily blinded and let go of Twilight, recoiling a few steps back as the blinding lights still went on.

"What..." mumbled Tirek as he saw something spectacular: the force of that blinding light was enough to flatten many of the trees. And in the centre of the blast was... a golden, humanoid form. It had black markings all around it and had a flowing, yellow cloak. It had a crown of spiky golden hair with deep blue eyes. It was... an actual human boy.

"What the hell am I doing here?" he asked, scratching his bum. Twilight and Tirek watched the mysterious boy; Tirek could sense a heavy cloud of magic hanging over him, and was immediately intrigued. He wanted to pick him up and devour his impressive size of magic in a single gulp! He strode over to him, palms outstretched to pick the boy up; apparently, he was still unaware of Tirek's presence, which delighted the centaur very much since he loved surprising his victims.

"Huh? Kurama? Centaur? Where? You stupid fox, you're just shitting me-ttebayo," said the boy, and Tirek shook his head. No way on Equestria could there be something this block-headed.

"Boy! I'm here!" cried Tirek, and the human finally noticed Tirek. By then, he was already in Tirek's grasp.

"Talking to yourself, eh?" Tirek continued, smirking, "What a lonely, crazed individual."

"Wh--what...?" said the boy, and he looked down at the ground. Tirek raised an eyebrow.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" Tirek snivelled. The boy shook his head. Tirek shrugged.

"Okay then. Now, on to busine--"

"I know what it means to be alone," said the boy. "I'm Naruto-ttebayo. This is my story."

Suddenly, the world around Tirek changed.

"Hey leave that kid alone!"

"Yeah, he's weird."

"Haha, what a loser!"

Naruto, in his youth, was hanging on a swing set, looking at the ground. He was truly alone. This loneliness led him to perform childish antics like painting all over monuments and important buildings in the Hidden Leaf Village, Konoha. But the attention that he got was largely negative, with people ignoring him and every girl he talked to friendzoning him (problem still persisted until today). But this was all before he met Iruka-sensei.

Ichiraku Ramen was where the two would meet. They'd have their ramen there, and Naruto would down several bowls of it at once, even at the tender young age of 15. Iruka would laugh at his appetite, and was the only listening ear to him in the village where everyone seemed to hate him. One day, Naruto stole a scroll which allowed him to use the shadow clone technique. In retrieving it, a creepy Konoha ninja whose name nobody seems to remember aimed a large black shuriken for Naruto, instead hitting Iruka who rushed between Naruto and the shuriken, saving Naruto's life. Naruto cried many sorrowful tears at how Iruka was such a nice guy, wondering why he was still single. Naruto then proceeded to use his shadow clone technique to beat up that shuriken guy. Naruto was then promoted to genin status in the Ninja Academy, never forgetting Iruka's smile.

"...What was that?" asked Tirek as the cinematic ended.

"It was a flashback-ttebayo," said Naruto, his eyes blazing. "I need to show my enemies a flashback-ttebayo before I beat them up-ttebayo."

"W-what?!" cried Tirek, shocked at Naruto's cockiness. His tongue escaped his mouth, proceeding to go for Naruto's magic.

"Lasengan!" cried Naruto as a ball of energy appeared in his hand. It was of a colossal size, easily about two times the size of Tirek's head. Tirek just smiled and ate the ball, absorbing its magic.

"I am Tirek, devourer of spells," the centaur said, giving a triumphant smirk. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I will consume all of the magic Equestria has to offer!"

"You're... like my friend. So ambitious, wanting to do so many things on his own... for power..." said Naruto. "...-ttebayo."

"AW COME ON!" cried Tirek as he was warped into another flashback.

"Usuratonkachi," said Sasuke Uchiha, the rival of Naruto Uzumaki. They were fighting each other at a waterfall area with two statues overlooking their fight.

"Why, Sasuke... Why?!" cried Naruto, his body cloaked in a red, liquid like cover. His hand had a ball of blue energy. "Come back to Konoha, or I'll beat you till you can't move then drag you back to Konoha!!"

"I can't. I need to kill my brother!" Sasuke cried, his normally black hair having a greyish-blue colour. His hands wielded a manifestation of lightning accumulated at a single point.

"So be it!" cried Naruto. He lunged towards Sasuke, his eyes red and his pupils slitted, filled with rage and anger.

"Narutoooo!!!" yelled Sasuke, as he lunged at Naruto as well.

"Sasuke!!!" responded Naruto, their hands meeting.

"DATTEBAYO!!!!" cried Naruto for extra measure as an explosion ensued.

Just when Tirek thought that the flashback was over, Naruto gave a great cry, warping their current world into another. Tirek groaned as a flashback within a flashback ensued.

"..."

Naruto was squatting on a tabletop, squinting at his rival Sasuke Uchiha, who was glaring back with a venomous look. Suddenly, someone in front of them leaned back, pushing Naruto and making him collide with Sasuke, lips first. Many girls in the class were mad that Naruto stole Sasuke's first kiss., and proceeded to euthanise Naruto, or at least come close to that.

At the end of the day, Naruto had to tell someone his opinions, but couldn't tell anyone. So thus, he created a shadow clone when he was at home.

"Hey, me. You know what happened today, me kissing Sasuke?"

"Yeah, it was totally weird."

"Honestly, I... kinda enjoyed it. My rival can't be this cute!"

"ALRIGHT, STOP IT!" cried Tirek, releasing a burst of energy and finally dissipating the flashback.

"Aww, come on! Flashbacks are a great way to recap my life story! I mean, aren't you even interested in all of the stuff that happened in my really interesting past?!" screamed Naruto. And just like every other person who has gone through the several flashbacks and arcs of Naruto, Tirek sighed.

"No," said Tirek. Naruto frowned.

"I'm going to have to destroy you then. And I never go back on my word-ttebayo!" cried Naruto.

"I agree," said Morpheus, from the Matrix movies. Naruto gave him a thumbs up while Tirek just sat there, slack-jawed boogie-eyed. "We should have gone deeper. A flashback within a flashback within a flashback sounds like something Neo would do."

"ENOUGH!" yelled Tirek, as his tongue reached out to suck Naruto dry. However, Naruto poofed into a cloud of smoke, confusing the colossal centaur. Then, he heard a whirring sound behind him.

"LASENSHURIKEN!!" cried Naruto as he placed a large bomb of magic in the shape of a shuriken onto Tirek's back, sending the centaur into a vortex of whirling, sharp energy. This sent Tirek and Naruto into a large cloud of dust and smoke.

Once it all cleared, Tirek was on the ground, seemingly defeated. Naruto smiled.

"You see, I had it all planned from the start. You just grabbed a shadow clone, and I was charging up a rasenshuriken behind your back. Sneaky, aren't I? I never go back on my word! That's my Ninja Way™," said Naruto.

"Sounds... like... bad manga writing..." groaned Tirek.

"Bad... writing? Reminds me of ero-sennin, or Jiraiya. Darn, I miss him so much. Want to know of our cherished memories we spent together?" said Naruto. Tirek's eyes widened in fear.

"NO!!! Here, take my magic, all of it, I'll send it back to Equestrians, JUST DON'T PUT ME INTO ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARES!" cried Tirek. Naruto sighed, but with a smile.

"Talk No Jutsu, a success," said Naruto, taking out a checklist. Below the name 'Nagato' and above the name 'Zabuza Momochi' Naruto crossed out the name 'Random power-hungry being from another world'. Naruto then woke Twilight up, as her magic was slowly being restored to her.

"Hey, little pony thing. Can you send me back to my world-ttebayo?" said Naruto. Glancing at Twilight, Naruto suddenly blushed; she was pretty attractive.

"Sure, mister..."

"Naruto."

"Oh! I'm sure we'll be great friends!" said Twilight cheerfully. Naruto was thinking of staying in Equestria for a while, but upon hearing that response, he groaned deeply.

"Friendzoned again!" sobbed Naruto as he was sent back to the ninja world, in tears over how every female in his life has to go for village-leaving douchebags like Sasuke.

THE END

Author's Note:

Today I learned that Naruto has a technique worse than the Tsukuyomi: The flashback no jutsu.

This piece of fiction is by no means a harsh criticism of Naruto and its plot lines. Sure, it does have its flaws but nothing's perfect. I've loved Naruto for years, ever since maybe 2009 or so. It was an integral part of my childhood, and its influence was so great that I've met several nerds in my lifetime mimicking the jutsu, even regrettably encountering an autistic guy who fucking chidori'd me by jabbing me in the stomach.

Anyway. Naruto is ending in a few days, any thoughts on that?

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John The Dragon

John The Dragon #1 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

Naruto better talk-no-jutsu Tirek or I'll be severely disappointed.

Crepusculo

Crepusculo #2 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

I'm thinking Naruto focus on why people fight and not just the fights. If it focused on just the fights and little on character's pasted and motives then it would probably be a ninja version of Dragonball in a way. Although I would have preferred if it focused on both the fights and flashbacks evenly or rather for every page of flashbacks and talk no jutsu there would be 5-10 pages of fighting.

Then again the flashbacks and talks gives the characters more depth and you grow to like them.

Still funny story. But I got to ask: Lasengan? It's Rasengan.

The NARUTO manga is ending in a few days with the movie in December as part of that NARUTO New Era Project. So people have speculated that there will be a sequel following the adventures of Naruto's and Hinata's child or descendant which is something I hope is true. Naruto brought peace/change to the world and now someone must maintain/protect it.

PrismShift

PrismShift #3 · Nov 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

That story was pretty good for a laugh- I liked this fic.

As for how I feel about Naruto coming to an end? Well honestly I really don't care at this point and that hurts. Naruto was a big deal to me just a few years ago and I loved it a lot. However it went downhill for me quick after Pain's first death. The secret bad guy reveals, Sasuke's 'side story', the goddess of chakra crap out of nowhere, everybody just wants world peace even the villains- all of this just, I don't even know, ruined the story for me. As time went on I couldn't even really enjoy the fights anymore. The show went from clever combat, with opponents constantly out maneuvering each other, to a slug-fests on par with later DBZ arcs (I have One Piece to fill that nitch now, which at least takes place in a much more ridiculous world).

I loved original Naruto and the beginning of Shippuden. But the manga/anime started to in a direction I couldn't follow happily and I am just waiting for it to end so it can either die or get a far better spin off. I mostly hope for the latter as the I love the world itself (chakra, shinobi, national conflict, and fights that play out like chess matches instead of bar brawls) and I hope it gets another, better treatment down the road. Let's just pray that Kishimoto (I think that's spelled right) doesn't go digging through fanfiction.net for sequel ideas like I think he has his latest story 'developments.'

sniggles

sniggles #4 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

5229731 He kinda did. It's such a powerful jutsu, I don't even know why the little kid bothers learning other techniques.

5229892 For the flashbacks... I guess it's pretty much depending on which kind of flashback we're talking about. I enjoyed the Uchiha brothers' flashbacks and the Pein flashbacks, but some flashbacks were pretty much boring and unnecessary or repeated over and over again. Some of these (off the top of my head) include the scenes of Naruto being emo, scenes that already were shown in the series (like the Sasuke vs Naruto flashbacks) and there was this one time where Asuma's team were fighting him in his edo state and that fight was about 20 minutes of flashbacks and 10 minutes of actual fighting, maybe even less. So really, there's no set rule on flashbacks, it's just what the flashbacks are about that matters.

And Naruto pronounces it Lasengan with an L. Just saying.

And the movie is going to be the bomb, I'm sure! I'd happily watch it if given the opportunity. However, a sequel with Naruto's child...? That's certainly a piece of news.

sniggles

sniggles #5 · Nov 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

5229940 Agree with you all the way. Naruto's become something like "HAHA MY BALL OF ENERGY IS LARGER THAN YOURS" with chakra thrown around like nobody's business and said chakra becoming empty at the most convenient of times. The latest chapters are pretty good though, but I can't say that they make up for all of Kishimoto's mistakes in the past.

I loved the first few chapters and episodes. The fight between Zabuza and Team 7 was epic in itself, with the windmill shuriken and shadow clone tricks. It was much more real in those starting chapters in my honest opinion.

dulz

dulz #6 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

Mega LOL!!Flashback no jutsu.

Crepusculo

Crepusculo #7 · Nov 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

5230361
I don't mind flashbacks myself but if they are going to have them in the anime then at least they could make sure they don't overshadow the fights and current events. They are important to stir a viewer/reader's emotions and etc, but often less is more. Kinda of like in the manga, don't know why the anime had several episodes of flashbacks if they wanted to do a filler then why not make some that shows development between characters, like Naruto and Hinata going on a mission together and alone. Hell I would have settled for a gag episode where something switches the Rookie 12 bodies or alters the personalities of the Rookie 12. I think they made those flashback episode for the viewer that didn't want to go back and watch the older episodes.

The bit about Naruto's child is just a rumor/fan speculation, however I did come across some scans that show Naruto and Hinata with two mini-clones of them at their side. 50/50 chance it is fake but given the fact that Kishimoto's whole Naruto: New Era Project- the key term being New Era- I cannot help but think that the sequel of NARUTO would be about Naruto's child or descendant.

Kinda of like Eureka Seven AO. Which BTW was disappointing for a sequel to the Eureka Seven anime/manga. Or a better example of a sequel with potential that was ruined by developers would be Dragon Ball GT.

Crepusculo

Crepusculo #8 · Nov 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

5229940
You make a good point but I actually grew to like NARUTO even more after Pain's first death despite the flaws and plot holes.

The secret bad guys was a nice plot twist with Obito/Tobi followed Black Zetsu being the true leader of the Akatsuki or rather the real purpose of it being to revive Kaguya. It is set in a world of ninja, so you can never really know at first who is in charge between the scenes. Some fans didn't like it nor how Madara was killed off but I enjoyed for the most part though I found it a bit rushed.

Sasuke's side story was important to the plot and build up for the final battle between him and Naruto, giving us insight as to why Sasuke wants to fight and kill Naruto.

The goddess of chakra well I would have to say I'm 50/50 on it. If there was more of a built up to it then maybe I would have loved it. Then again things escalated quickly as the Shinobi Alliance fought to prevent the Infinite Tsukiyomi. Of course if there is sequel then Kaguya or Black Zetsu may make a comeback of sorts.

The whole villains wanting peace, well they were originally good people but their views were twisted by personal tragedy and wanted to bring their version of peace, a twisted and unwanted 'peace'.

As for the fights well I wasn't surprise how they turned out since the Sage of Six Paths was said to be a god and the battle between Pain and Naruto, you can only go up from there. i agree that they could have been more of strategy used but given the fact that things were escalating quickly and Obito, Madara and Kaguya had god like power along with Naruto and Sasuke with Infinite Tsukiyomi being put into effect they had to take them out as quickly as possible to prevent/stop it.

Also if one had godlike power and it would go to one's head, forget about strategy and just blow up everything that is in the way. And it wasn't a complete slug-fest since they used deception tactics to catch Kaguya off guard to seal her.

I am also hoping for a spinoff/sequel to NARUTO with more subtle and chess like conflicts in it. I do love a DBZ like fight from time to time but not everything is solved but smashing it to bit. No matter how awesome it would be. I'm thinking that will be an issue if it's about Naruto's kid/son who thinks that 'smashing things' that threaten the peace is the only way to maintain it.

As for Kishimoto's story developments maybe he got ideas for them from other manga works or is trying to set the background for the possible sequel or like other artist/writers he is struggling to keep the story going and this is what we get. Or he wants to end it and move on to his next project.

You made a lot of good points but I needed to share my view on them.

Crepusculo

Crepusculo #9 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

DUDES I just looked up chapter 699 and fought a few raw spoiler scans!! Go look it up!! I feel like Stewie from Family Guy when he found out Peter was taking him to DisneyWorld!!!

PrismShift

PrismShift #10 · Nov 5th, 2014 · · ·

5231210 Thank you for the feedback. It's always nice to have heart-to-heart discussion on loved fiction.

However...

1.) Just so we are clear, I really liked the twist that Madarra (actually Obito) was behind the Akatsuki. That was a neat twist. And them Kishimoto did it again, with Obito being manipulated by the real Madarra; and then Madarra was secretly being manipulated by Zetsu, who in turn was working for some goddess-monster thing we didn't even know about at the time. The original twist was a dive into the poll of clever writing, but after three dips you're splashing water and annoying everyone else in the pool.

2.) Sasuke's story started off strong, primarily because was kinda off on its own, away from the original plot of Akatsuki. The only connection between the two, at first, was Itachi. Over time though Sasuke's story was modified to incorporate the main story into it; at first it was clever (Oh, Sasuke joins the Akatsuki? Neat!) but then it just got silly, at least for me (Sasuke and Naruto are reincarnated brothers? Really? Well way to dilute their friendship). And now it come to an end with them fighting. The one thing I can say at least Sasuke is fighting for Change, not Peace. If I heard one more villain say they were doing all of this for Peace I'd probably barf.

3.) We agree on this at least. I hate how Kaguya was pulled out of no where. It's just a lazy way to by more time for the series.

4.) Back to the whole Peace thing- having one villian, say Pein, want Peace made sense for his character and was an interesting setup because of the manner he was going about it reflects a real world occurrence- aka nukes - that we can relate to. But then as it went on it turned out everyone wanted the same thing, villains and heroes alike. At that point everyone literally had the same goal; heck, the nations put aside their differences in a very short time to form an army with people from every village. At that point I feel like someone should have had a sit down with the Uchihas to tell them their mission was accomplished, they could go home now. Now if Madarra was obsessed with making a world he considered perfect (because it worked exactly how he wanted) or Kaguya was just insane with power and felt like all chakra was hers I could get behind the plot a bit easier. But instead it turns into 'I want world peace- time to kill everyone who gets in my way, especially those other guys who are trying to do the same thing because it was my idea first.' Just saying, the villians basically are acting like five-year old children in their quest.

5.) I get that the serious was setting up that their were going to be ninja with insane abilities and destructive powers galore. However the first fight between Kakashi and Zabuza seemed to set a precedent for the show that I think a lot of us believed- a ninja's strength isn't necessarily found in the power of his techniques, but rather in the way he utilizes them. Or in other words, from watching that fight, I always thought great ninjas of the past were really clever and cunning, not that they were necessarily power houses capable of shattering cities. Shows what I know.

6.) Fingers crossed for a spinoff series, not just a special.

7.) I only insinuate that Kishimoto has been getting story ideas from the fans because I saw a lot of current plot ideas in fan work first- a ten-tails, divine intervention, the fox being nice, even Naruto and Sasuke being cosmically bound -all tropes I saw first in the fanfiction I felt were kinda off that got shoehorned in. Eh, oh well.

PrismShift