• Member Since 12th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2020

sniggles


I make really stupid stories, but it's fine since I enjoy making them.

T
Source

Scootaloo, in her never-ending quest to learn how to fly, talks with her only friend in flight school, Rumble, after being saved from an accident involving a terribly electrostatic cloud.

Apparently, this story was featured on the day it was published. Though for only a brief number of hours (during which I was asleep) I am thankful to the mods for seeing this story fit to be in that little box at the front page.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 42 )

This was cute. Looking forward to more.:twilightsmile:

I say, it was a very good start. I am awaiting for more.


Wait, I'm not speaking in the multi-voice? Well, dammit. The Universe might die. Anyways, good fiction. Keep it up!

I'm intrigued to see more of this fic.

I never have been a fan of rumbleloo ( however you spell it) but i do like this story, write on mr, Sniggles, write on!

I would list some corrections but my inner gramer nazi is not making an aperence today, im sure you will find the mistakes from another source

Yay, something cute.

Also: cover art

Edit: Although it looks like it's a trace.

--Sollace

This seems like an interesting story. I can't wait for the next chapter.

4404896 you're cute :raritywink: But thanks.

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4406212 thanks! Appreciate the love.

4405539 Timelord! Nice to see you comment here. Thanks!

4405573 thanks for the cover art link, will source it.

Dayms. His return is greeted with another feature story. Lay down the palm leaves everybody, the master has returned.

4406889 haha, you're too kind. And this isn't featured! :pinkiesad2:

4406960 If you turn off the mature filter. It is.

Edit: Was.

4406756
I get a special reply? To what do I owe the honor?

Yay, that was wonderfully written. I give it two hooves up! fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/357/a/1/2_hoofs_up_by_comeha-d6z0lto.png

Onwards to the future! And all the updates it may bring. :yay:

--Sollace

I have to agree with the guy above me. This is beautifully written, with so many metaphors, showing, variance in sentence structure, and symbolism. You also dropped the ball perfectly with Dust. The only problem was that the massage scene seemed a little . . . contrived. It didn't seem to flow as much as the other scenes. The main reason is that Rumble jumped right into it all instead of waiting for a bit. If you are going to make use of third person omniscient, then Rumble's thoughts would have been great. Actually, you may not even be using that. I am too tired to go back and check.

However, you did do a great job of keeping it platonic. It was odd and sometimes borderline sexual (the legs were getting there), but I never felt that they were developing feelings. Scootaloo was simply showing her pleasure, as odd as that already sounds. The best thing was the ending, really.

Either way, colour me impressed. I don't usually rummage through the popular box, which is where I found your story, but I am definitely happy that I find gems like this and writers like you. You have your fair share of errors, but your writing just flows so . . . well.

I await the next chapter with bated breath.

4408213 That's a very flattering comment, and I appreciate it! I spent a great deal of time on this fic, but unfortunately it won't get as many views as I'd like it to get. I don't use third person to the extent that I can look into every pony's minds, just the main character, and I'd like to tell the story from Scootaloo's perspective. I prefer the third person since I can add in all of the metaphors and symbolism and such without sounding odd and out of character; Scootaloo as a teenager isn't really going to make comparisons with rain and breath. And I kind of agree with your point on the massaging, I was rushing a little through that part. But as for you saying a 'fair share of errors', I'd really appreciate it if you'd point as many out for me. This is, after all, my first piece of fiction in a long time.

Oh yes, you get a special mention because you are not just another time lord. You are special.

4408239
I'm flattered as well, though my legacy precedes me. And I would love to point out all of them, but since I am currently soon a tablet, it would require far too much work. But some quick bits that I remember are:

"Millennia" is plural, and you said "a millennia."

It is "Ponyville," without the capital V.

I am also not sure why you are referring to the gang as the Mane Six. Inside the fandom, "Mane" is a funny pun. Really, I hate it. But people can do what they want. However, no one in the show calls the gang that. It would mean that they know that they are in a show, and that is a whole other realm of crazy. But what I find worse is that you actually used "Mane," like Scootaloo would use it like that. Or anyone, really. The basic idea is that you need to keep Bronyisms in the fandom, not a story. Stick to their universe.

Besides the comma errors throughout that require specific examples and extensive explanation, everything else was solid. And I thought I was most likely wrong about the third person omniscient. I am tired, as I have just not but an hour ago gotten off work. We all have our fair share of sleep-induced delirium.

4408274 ...really? I always thought that Twilight and her friends were called the Mane Six, honest! I'm thoroughly embarrassed... thanks for the tips anyway.

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Naw, that is a brony thing, and a rather annoying one at that. I don't fault people for using it in normal talk, but I find it to be unnecessary and not cute. I refer to the main six as "the gang," if that wasn't already apparent. It's probably because of the Scooby snacks, man.

I might sound bitter here, but it hurts to see how much everyone else's Rumbaloo stories are getting so much attention. That said, I'm also glad that other authors are writing Rumbaloo, not just me. I will read this later, as I am busy at the moment, but I look forward to it! :twilightsmile:

~Hothead112

Damn... I can't tell you how long it's been since I've read as well written a fic as that one. Great job, Sniggles. Would totally recommend. I'm actually glad I read it, which is something I haven't been able to say about most pouring in recently. Then again, I'm a cynical asshole. But still, Keep up the Great work. Emphasis on great.:heart:

I seem to be on a lucky streak in regards to good stories. This is pretty good stuff and cute and intriguing. It moves quite well, for lack of a better way to say it. I might have to look at your other stories in light of the comments here. I liked that it has stayed platonic so far, as I generally don't like romance that is overly rushed.

I have a question though. How exactly does Scootaloo move across clouds on a scooter?

4413242 I... don't have a good explanation to that. Honestly, I cannot imagine Scootaloo without a scooter for obvious reasons. I'd say that she's using her wings to support both the scooter and herself, but then again there's the issue of her wings not being all that strong. It's part of the story but I'm not going to go all in-depth and sciency about it, apologies.

Was smiling and feeling happy throughout this entire story, got to the end and was even more happier, then I found out..there's no chapter two yet and was sad, but! I cannot wait for the next chapter (I actually can but!) this...this may turn into a masterpiece, I'm loving this story! Keep up the good work.

4414501 I hope it does turn out as something good :twilightsmile:

You can drag and drop the photo into Google Images, and Google will lead you to the source of the cover art.

4417041 Noted, will do so in the future.

This is interesting.:twilightsmile:

Free cheers for best ship!!!! Cant wait for next chapter!! :D

Well, I'm hooked! :pinkiehappy: Loving it so far and I can't wait for more! :twilightsmile:

Cuteness! I'll be following this for sure.

5230871 No, second chapter is about 5,000 words in

When is the next chapter coming ? If there is one :twilightsheepish: I really like this story so far

awww that was so cute, i cant wait for the next chapter:twilightsmile:

Hey it's been like 8 years. What's going on?

It's been 10 years and it's still not updated but i can wait (gotta clear up another 158 unread chapters). Hope the next chapter would be worth the 10-year wait.

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