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Twilight Sparkle lives in a cottage alone except for one other pony. She wants for nothing and needs nothing, but she knows she has to see what lies beyond the grassy fields and the rolling hills around the cottage. Despite the warnings of her friend, she embarks to discover what lies over the horizon.

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Comments ( 9 )

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chrysoprox

chrysoprox #1 · Oct 26th, 2014 · 4 · ·

Huh. Didn't expect it to end like that.

You know, with expansion, this would honestly feel like an episode of the show.

Spectrumancer

Spectrumancer #2 · Oct 26th, 2014 · · ·

Sounds like somepony has some issues. Of course, Twilight is pretty much Equestria's premium expert on solving issues, so I guess they'll be ok.

nightwalker

nightwalker #3 · Oct 26th, 2014 · · ·

Very interesting and very neat.

Though I agree with chrysoprox; it almost feels unfinished, as though there should be more.

Crimson Dawn

Crimson Dawn #4 · Oct 27th, 2014 · · ·

I like this story. I think I actually gives you everything you need to know and deal with for a one shot. A nice vignette.

It reminds me of another story too I think I will go read that one too.

AdrianVesper

AdrianVesper #5 · Oct 29th, 2014 · 1 · ·

5188022

So, I almost wrote about twice as much as this, but as soon as I considered doing that, I realized that it would start to snowball.

The intent was to focus on one small concept and address it in a way that was complete enough to stand on its own in as few words as possible. I also tried to resolve it in a single scene, though it ended up being two. This approach tends to leave a lot of vague bits that the reader has to fill in.

I think there are merits to saying less, and there are merits to fleshing things out and giving a bit more detail. Looking back, I'm not sure what else I'd want to say. I think the things I left out were worth leaving out, either because they weren't interesting, or because they were worth leaving up to the reader.

Still, for a story vaguely based on a dream I had about half a year ago and written in a flash of inspiration on Saturday afternoon in between boatloads of homework, I'm proud of it. Also, one should note that the amount of time it takes to write a story is completely unrelated to its quality.

nightwalker

nightwalker #6 · Oct 29th, 2014 · · ·

5199522
I can see what you mean. It's a fine edge to balance upon for sure. I'm still not wholly sure of its success in this instance. Eh, perhaps coming back to it in time for a second look later will change my mind. I'll reshelve it for now.

5190251
care to share?

Crimson Dawn