Edict
Ponyville Castle
1 Library Way
Addressing Mr. Thunder Struck,
By Royal Edict, signed by Her Highness, Twilight Sparkle, you are to return Rainbow Dash to her former position and rank. There is to be no discrimination against her at this point or any in the future.
Her Royal Highness,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. - This is not done because of favoritism, it is done for the good of Ponyville. As we have both seen, Rainbow Dash without a job is not only detrimental to herself, she is actively a threat to the well-being of Ponyville. I am hoping that this will reduce the number of Everfree attacks and flash floods. Please forgive my use of the royal edict, but I felt that you would have ignored me if I hadn’t. And that would cause other problems. We wouldn’t want that, would we?
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Haha. Go Twilight.
Twilight should have just replaced Struck with Rainbow. Clearly Mr. Struck was a bad manger and a fool from both Dash's 1st letter and the way he acted when based on Dash's other letters.
Well... I guess you could say Thunder Struck got...
*dons shades*
...Thunder struck
YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
That was kind of amusing, actually. I really didn't have high hopes for it after seeing the first chapter, but it did manage to turn around.
OH NOES RAINBOW DASH IS DEAD!!!...oh wait...she just got drunk and "quit" ...i like this storyish thing, being written in letter form and all, i am wondering in the first chapter you said
cause that is whether as in "i don't know whether to go left or right" it should be "weather" as in "the weather is nice today" but i saw it, and thought "she is drunk, it is rainbow dash, ...maybe she just didn't know how to spell the word" and that you're writing was intentional, if so...NICE ONE! that would be so believeable
5122652
It's drunken Rainbow Dash, I think it's supposed to be misspelled/riddled with errors
5122769 i figured as much, and it would be in character for drunk rainbow dash, but, my inner nerd made me ask, he is rather pushy
I'm going to jump on the up-vote bandwagon, but I can't help but feel like my time was wasted here.
5122652
You caught me. I was, in fact, intentional.
5123593
What makes you say that?
Wasted?
5122103
5123950
There wasn't a story arc here.
5123950 that's awesome, and like i said, it totally works, you person are clever...i rate this /)/)/)/)/)/)/)/)/ 8.5 brohoofs!
5124054
I will admit there wasn't a very deep one, but not one at all? I'm a little hurt. it was the five stages of grief, and Rainbow's journey through it.
Well.....I quit
*Blams*
5124478
Don't be hurt by that. I get what you were doing, I'm just not impressed. I'm an idiot though, so don't take my word for it. This appears to be pretty popular; therefore, you must have done something right.
I mean I enjoyed it. I just was expressing my thought.
5125272
When I said I was hurt, that was just a turn of phrase. I'm made of tougher stuff than that; I was just wondering why you said it was wasted and wanted to explain what little plot I did have.
Thanks for offering your opinions! I usually never get comment, which mean no feedback, which means I don't get better as an author. So thanks for the help!
That bad grammar in the first one was intentional, right?
I'm guessing it was, but you might want to add another strike-through or two somewhere.
I can totally see this happening though.
Some of the letters do seem a little out of character, And it almost seems like you just took a concept and slapped the five stages of grief on it.
I really did like it over all though, it fit together pretty nicely, so take this thumbs up
5140957
Yes, it was intentional.
And I think characterization is a problem in many of my stories. My inspiration is based a lot around a central idea that strikes my fancy, so when I thought "Five Stages of Grief" it was decided. I acknowledge that it needs work, and will try to improve as I continue to write.
Thank you for the feedback!