I got som things I wanna say to ya. I always wanted to tell you that I always wanted to tell you that you were a jerk. You were always shouting and screeming at me whenever I was working. I always worked real hard, but you were never happy with my work. “Go bust clouds!” or “Stop sleeping!” You need to litenligtenlitteng be happy more.
I was happy doing the whether, but then you became my manager, then the apples hit the fan. After that, work was not any more fun, and its all you’re fault. But you know what? Im happy now! I’m a hero and friends with the princess, so why should I have to do manual laboor? I think that you peons can handle it.
I apologise for my previous letter. It was a mistake to allow myself to become so inebriated that I would allow myself to write such a foolish letter. It was simply a form of meditation, to allow myself to release the stress of the workday. But it was simply that, and was in no way meant to be serious, much less delivered. I’m sure that you, as a reasonable pony, can understand this.
As my “resignation” was a miscommunication, I’m certain that you will revoke your ban of myself from Cloud Headquarters. I plan to return to weather control promptly at eight AM on Monday morning. I hope that we can put this incident behind us, perhaps even share a laugh about it in the distant future.
You know, I thought we could work this out like reasonable ponies, but I guess not! Not only refusing me my job, you even refused to see me yourself. You forced your poor secretary to refuse me. Only through the kindness of my heart did I not explode on her. If I had, it would have been on you. You are so cowardly you couldn’t even confront me face-to-face.
But I don’t need you. You may think I do, but you’d be wrong. I’m the best cloud-buster in Equestria, and you’ll never find anypony better than me. I don’t need your money, I’m a freaking hero! You think you can face me? I dare you to try it. Coward.
This will be my final letter. I have no reason to ever foul my airspace with your breath ever again. I hope the rest of your life sucks.
I am once again sorry about my previous letter. It was dumb of me to write. I know I said I wouldn’t mail you again, but I only said that in anger. I truly wish to have my job back.
You know I’m the best weather controller on the force. I’ll do anything you want to have my job back. I actually do desperately need it; my father broke his wing in an accident and my mother can’t nearly pay for it by herself. I’ve been sending every spare bit I’ve gotten to pay for the medical bills.
If you give me the job back, I’ll work double shift every night for a year. You know that I can do it. Can you give me a break? Please?
I’m probably not getting that job back, am I? I can’t think of anything else that I’m good at, so I probably won’t end up with another job, either. So I’m here, no job, no prospects. And I’m bored.
I decided to take a walk in the Everfree yesterday. Dangerous, right? Normally, I’d feel excited, but I barely noticed when I was attacked by a manticore. I, of course, vanquished it, but I couldn’t feel the excitement it used to bring.
I think it might actually have been two manticores. I can’t really remember. I think I went to lay on a cloud, but that rained itself out within a minute or two. It seems even the clouds don’t want anything to do with me. I hate being alone.
But it doesn’t look like that is going to change anytime soon. If you want to give me my job back, send a letter. I might see it.
I’m truly sorry for the events of the past week. I was a jerk, and I know it. I understand that you won’t give me my job back, and I understand that I don’t deserve my old job. I was far too rude to ever expect employment here again. I also understand that it would take nothing less than a royal edict to change your mind about this.
I am writing this letter for the last time. I have accepted that you no longer wish to hear from me, and I will respect your wishes. I will endeavor to find employment elsewhere, perhaps in a neighboring village’s weather control. Therefore, this is the last you will ever hear from me.
By Royal Edict, signed by Her Highness, Twilight Sparkle, you are to return Rainbow Dash to her former position and rank. There is to be no discrimination against her at this point or any in the future.
Her Royal Highness,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. - This is not done because of favoritism, it is done for the good of Ponyville. As we have both seen, Rainbow Dash without a job is not only detrimental to herself, she is actively a threat to the well-being of Ponyville. I am hoping that this will reduce the number of Everfree attacks and flash floods. Please forgive my use of the royal edict, but I felt that you would have ignored me if I hadn’t. And that would cause other problems. We wouldn’t want that, would we?
