Lily Valley Goes Shopping
Lily Valley Goes Shopping
by AJ Aficionado
*****
"Roseluck, of all the nerve!" I screamed as I looked from my bone-dry cereal to the empty milk carton. There is no other way to explain it, the mare simply hates me. Every rose may have its thorns, but she is Neigheris herself come to torment me.
"Lily, it's six in the morning, what are you yelling about?" My friend and decidedly less evil roommate Daisy trotted downstairs taking note of my distress. After a shuddering yawn, she rubbed the sleep out of her dark, green eyes, and noticed the empty carton. She gave me a wry smile and pointed at it. "I think Rose wants you to go shopping Lily."
I must emphasize the fact that she is only less evil. "Shopping? I think she just wants me to go crazy! How does she expect me to eat this cereal dry?"
"You can't win 'em all Lily. She did wake up first, so she finished off the last of it. Besides, a lot of ponies eat their cereal dry." She put on her best attempt at a placating smile that instead came off as patronizing.
"Ugh! That's not the point, Daisy," I pouted, "it's just that it's always me. I thought what she did to my room last month was bad enough, and here she goes again ruining my morning."
Daisy chuckled before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
"It wasn't funny darn it! That was completely out of line, and if it had been your bedroom you would have been ready to cry too, Daisy! And the smell..." I winced, recalling the unending horror of The Great Disaster ™.
Daisy couldn't take it anymore. She leaned onto the kitchen table and began banging it with her right fore-hoof, tears streaming down her face as she laughed uncontrollably.
I take it all back, Daisy is just as evil as Roseluck. Why do I live with these two again?
"You remember when she told you it was an accident right?" Daisy replied, having caught her breath. "Granted, I probably would have been upset, but setting fire to your bedsheets was a bit much..."
I couldn't disagree more; sometimes fire is the only answer. "My point is," I interrupted, "I need you to get some milk, while I set up shop for today."
"But I don't need anything from the store today Lily. I was just going to munch on some dry, tasty oat bran, and this — " Daisy reached over and grabbed my cereal bowl " — will do nicely." I cringed as she bit down noisily on the crunchy squares.
"Come on Daisy, pleeeease?" This is getting absurd, she always does the shopping. What in Tartarus is going on?
Taking a moment to swallow her mouthful of dry, ashy oat cereal, Daisy replied, "You forgot where the store is didn't you?"
I felt my cheeks going hot and prayed they wouldn’t turn red. "Don't be silly, of course I didn’t! You want me to go shopping? Fine then, I will go shopping!" Anything to turn away from the revolting sight of somepony munching on dry cereal. The horror!
*****
I walked outside into the cool, gray autumn morning, my growling stomach reminding me how ill-prepared I was for a journey to the grocery store. Thankfully, I didn’t need to purchase anything heavy, as Roseluck had taken our wagon to haul a load of roses to Canterlot. I'd shrugged into my saddlebag instead to carry the milk cartons. It occurred to me then that I wasn't entirely sure where the store was, as I made my way into town. Then again why should I know where it is? It's Daisy's job to go shopping!
As I neared the town square, I came upon the back end of a wagon driven by my orange-maned friend, Carrot Top. "Hey Carrot Top!" I called out as I caught up to her, waving my hoof in greeting; she smiled and waved back. Oh, how I wish my mane and coat could match like that, instead of the raspberry coat and amber mane I ended up with. Some mares have all the luck.
"Lily! What brings you out all this way?" asked Carrot Top.
"Shopping. I think there's some kind of foul conspiracy at play here to get me out of the house," I groused before explaining the weird situation with Roseluck and Daisy to her.
"You said Roseluck was away though, didn't you? Maybe Daisy just wanted you to go shopping instead," Carrot Top suggested.
"I couldn't imagine why she loves shopping. Well, shopping and talking to ponies anyway. That's why we send her out to do it, after all," I said dryly.
Carrot Top stopped her cart for a moment and scratched her chin. "I get it, she wants you to go out and say ‘hello’ to somepony. Well, you have to admit you area bit of a shut-in, Lily."
I shook my head at that. I talk to ponies when I have to, and I get by just fine. I just don't see the point of going out of my way looking for other ponies. "I consider it more efficient in both time and energy to stay where I am. I really enjoy working with flowers, and my customers really enjoy them too. My customer and I start off from a point of mutual interest, and a conversation can then develop in a generally positive direction. In contrast, let's consider grocery shopping: lots of strangers, competition for products, haggling with vendors, lots of potential for negative interaction..."
"Oh Lily, you're hopeless!” Carrot Top exclaimed and nuzzled me on the cheek.
"C-Carrot Top!" I squeaked out in shock, jerking back from her.
"I'm sorry Lily, I was just trying to be nice," she said in chagrin, looking down at the dirt road.
I looked around at the ponies on the street. I was sure that somepony would be staring at us, but nopony seemed to notice — I guess I overreacted a bit. "I'm sorry Carrot Top, you just surprised me is all. I haven't had anypony nuzzle me since I was a foal."
Carrot Top sighed and shook her head. "That's a shame Lily, I nuzzle all of my friends. We are friends right?"
My face was burning with embarrassment now. This is what ponies do after all; what normal ponies do anyway. "Of course we’re friends, I'm just not as used to being as friendly as you. I guess you and Rose are right, I probably do need to get out more. I just can't find a reason most of the time."
She nodded. "Practice is all you need Lily," she said with a smile. "And I’d be happy to give you some. I don't start work for another hour or so. Would you be interested in joining me at Sugarcube Corner for breakfast?"
My stomach rumbled again. That was all the yes I needed to proceed. "Sounds like a good idea to me!" I exclaimed.
*****
We walked the rest of the way to Sugarcube Corner making casual conversation as we went. As I drew nearer to the town square, the space between myself and the throng of ponies making their way to the different vendor stalls grew smaller and smaller. I began to hear a ringing in my ears.
“...and you wouldn’t think it, but carrots can be very temperamental. If they get a sense you aren’t paying them any mind they’ll — Lily you okay?”
“Ponies, everywhere,” I said to no one in particular.
“Lily, you don’t look so good.”
I was trembling now — cold sweat soaking my mane as I inched toward my goal. “I can feel then all looking at me Carrot Top; I have to get out of here!” My breathing came out in ragged gasps as bright spots exploded in front of my eyes, giving way to growing darkness in my peripheral vision.
“Come on Lily, let me get you into the cart. You look like you’re going to fall over!” Carrot Top shrugged out of her harness and helped push me up on top of the boxes carrying her carrot cargo. “You've got to make yourself breath more slowly or you're going to pass out cold!”
After what seemed like forever, I managed to force the darkened tunnel around my vision to retreat back into the shadows. As I laid sweating at the bottom of the cart, the sun warming my face, I felt the shame hit me. I climbed out of the cart and looked into the eyes of the mare who'd seen me for who I really was, knowing things could never be the same again. She looked back at me with sympathy which only make me feel worse. “I’m so sorry you have to see me like this. You must think I’m a complete freak or something.” I sobbed miserably, finding her gaze unbearable as tears began to streak my face.
“Would you like to talk about it?” Carrot Top asked gently.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and blinked until my vision became clear. I half-expected to see her smirking at the whole situation; to be deriving some sort of twisted pleasure at my awkward situation. All I saw was a look of concern in her eyes, and I couldn’t imagine why. Did she really care this much about the mare that occasionally sold her flowers?
“I don’t like to lose control of my surroundings,” I said miserably. “I find it very difficult to trust other ponies with my well-being. I’ve never really got along very well with my family, classmates, or anyone outside of Roseluck and Daisy. These days, I can’t even be sure about them. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m really out there alone you know?”
Carrot Top nodded slowly. ”I think I understand what you mean. You just can’t be sure about anypony’s intentions. You can’t be sure the pony you’re talking to doesn’t have an ulterior motive or mean you harm. The sad part is you can’t know that Lily, and whether you’re behind the stall at your flower shop, or alone in Manehatten; the only thing you have between you and total isolation is the belief in the good that can be found in others.”
“Of course there is good in others, but you can never rely on it fully. Ponies change, their needs change. One day you’re an asset and the next day you’re trash,” I responded unemotionally. I sat down on my haunches and watched as stallions and mares filed through the door to pick up their breakfast.
Carrot Top shrugged out of her harness and sat next to me. “I see.” She brought a hoof to her chin and thought about it for a moment. Finally, she asked,” So which one am I, Lily? The asset or the trash?” Her smile betrayed not a hint of irony.
Now it was my turn to think. The fact that she hadn’t left yet implied that I possessed something that she desired. I quickly ruled out any possession I had available to me; selling flowers had not made me a rich mare. There was, of course, the second possibility, but that would be insane. And yet, I couldn’t completely discount it either. By some crazy circumstance, she may actually be interested in me personally. “You are something entirely different altogether Carrot Top,” I concluded.
“A friend perhaps?” she replied, throwing in a wink to punctuate what a jerk I am.
“Perhaps,” I conceded. “I just wish I could understand why.”
“Because behind all of the barricades you’ve set up, I believe you are basically a good pony who has given up far too soon. I don’t know what others have done to you in the past, Lily, but you have to let it go. Learn to trust others again,” she said soothingly.
“Maybe...” I conceded. “But I don’t think I can do it all at once. So for the time being, can I start with just one certain pony I know, Carrot Top?” I raised my eyes to hers.
“It’s a good place to start!” And for the first time in years, I hugged somepony. It was the most wonderful feeling I’d ever known.
*****
Once inside of Sugarcube Corner, we enjoyed a plate of cream puffs and shared horror stories about everything from nightmare customers, to Nightmare Moon; who Carrot Top had seen with her very eyes during one very memorable Nightmare Night. Pinkie Pie took my appearance in public as a cause for celebration — for reasons best known to herself — and we each left with a free cupcake.
After planning to make our trips into town a regular part of our week, Carrot Top bid me farewell and set up her stall in the market across the road. Unfortunately, our time together had run long, and she’d lost an hour of business. I vowed to make it up to her somehow. Having made my journey into town, there was one final order of business to get through; I walked across the street to the milk shop.
Trotting back home with four quarts of milk stuffed in my saddlebags, I was greeted by my former arch-nemesis/roommate/worst possible thing, Roseluck. She must have set out earlier than I thought being back this soon.
"Lily, I'm so sorry! Daisy told me you went to go get milk because I drank the rest of it. It was really early, and I was in a rush and wasn't even thinking when I put the empty carton back in the fridge..." she bowed her head and ears.
In response, I reached out with both hooves and gave her a hug.
"I...oh! Lily! What's gotten into you?" Roseluck asked, both relieved and delighted.
"Rose, I'm sorry for not being a friend to you. It was an honest mistake on your part, and I must admit I didn't see it that way when I left to go shopping."
"After what happened before, it made sense didn’t it?" Roseluck said looking down at two front hooves. “I’m sorry for everything, Lily.”
"You apologized for that Rose, and that's all that matters. What's important is that I held a grudge against you, instead of accepting your apology."
Roseluck looked up at me and smiled. "Will you also hold a grudge against me for buying milk on the way back home?" she asked sheepishly, seeing my saddlebags laden with milk cartons.
"Good thing we got plenty of chocolate milk mix!” Finally, a chance to use it.
And there was much milk to drink and no dry cereal to be had for the next couple of weeks.
*** The End ***
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Leo Archon · 10k words · 32 2 · 878 views
- AJ Aficionado · 19k words · 26 5 · 563 views
- Manaphy · 5.3k words · 37 1 · 881 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.088 seconds
Total duration
1,047 users online
1,459,479 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
If anyone is wondering why this story looks so polished compared to my last one, you can thank Firesight. He not only corrected my spelling, he pushed me to improve what I already wrote into something better. Thanks friend, I owe you one.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/11/7/145113__safe_applejack_vector_salute.png
Edit: If you read all of this in the Applejack voice, consider yourself awesome.
Cute!
Hang in there and keep writing. You've clearly got potential, and it looks like you're genuine about trying to learn and improve. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!
That was pretty nice. I really like the way you characterized Lily. It just seems fitting for her, somehow. Also, there still aren't enough stories just about her.
5240054 Thank you. I haven't got anything in mind yet as far as another story. To be honest, this was more of an exercise. My first story was so poorly written, I decided to set hurdles to climb in the form of short story challenges, designed to enforce good writing habits. This challenge was to develop a character arc in two-thousand words or less, which is why the plot is so thin. I failed on the word count, but I liked the end result enough that I decided to go with it.
I feel every word counted, and I'm happy with it. I'll try not to let you down in the future.
ivankylecam.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/samurai_bow.jpg
5240376
I wouldn't worry too much about the length - if anything it's better to go over rather than under. Let yourself tell the story that you want to tell, and focus on making that something you can be happy with, and you'll do fine.
Like here... I appreciated that you did take the time to get a little more into the characters and have them connect with the reader before establishing the primary scene of Lily freaking out at being around other ponies. You put some effort into making her a person, instead of solely her psychological problem wrapped in a pony skin, and that's what makes it a story and not either a series of events or a poorly-disguised lecture about an issue. Those are pitfalls that I see a lot of newer authors fall into, and so I appreciate your efforts.
There's still some room for improvement in some of the description, such as possibly more clearly setting the stage for her freak-out, but that's the sort of thing that comes with practice and trying different things. (And everyone, myself emphatically included, needs practice and experimentation to improve)
5240310 Lily Valley has the downside of not being Roseluck and gets passed over a lot by the fandom; it's a real shame. She's really cute, and she had that priceless moment I used as the cover image to this story. I will likely use Lily as the leading mare in a story again sometime, once I've sanded down my rough spots.
5240902
Do you mean establishing her social anxiety more clearly before she had her freak-out, or are you saying my story's description needs to establish this as a plot point? I really appreciate the feedback by the way
, not a single person saw fit to actually offer any useful criticism of the content of my last story, and it made me very sad.
Or perhaps they were too focused on lack of proper paragraphs. All water under the bridge I guess.
5241959
Not so much establishing it before, as establishing it during. There's just a mention of there being more ponies, but it's harder to actually visualize Lily and Carrot Top in that setting, right before she jumps into freak-out. You could have potentially drawn it out a bit more... Perhaps have it start to happen gradually, Carrot Top talking throughout, as Lily notices the ponies and reassures herself. But then they enter the market, the space grows smaller, maybe something flavorful happens like a stallion walking by and brushing right up against Lily while muttering an 'excuse me' - the kind of stuff that fills out the scene. Right now you have some basic stabs in that direction, but the readers see the freak-out and infers the causes, rather than feeling the causes that then lead to the understandable freak-out. Or like the line about the jelly cart - it's a good thing that shows you're thinking about place, but it's not actually ever mentioned before or after, so it sticks out. And then it's unclear where they are when they have the heart-to-heart immediately after - is this someplace out of the way and quieter? I guess, but it's not actually stated.
It's definitely possible to overdo description, and in many ways it's a question of style, but maybe something to consider playing with more for next time?
5242026 That makes perfect sense. Thank you for elaborating on that.
My prediction for the ending was a surprise party.
Incredibly relate-able story for some. And just all around huggably sweet. If there was an episode that dealt with social anxiety, this would be the one I'd want to watch.
10/10 for saving the world of Lily from dry cereal.
5324911 Thank you very much for your sincere, heartfelt compliment.
5325285 You earned it. Certainly been a long time since I was able to enjoy a good flower trio ponies story. Hope to see more from you in the coming months.
I liked this. No, I loved this. I my self struggle every single day, at school and out in public, with feeling judged for every step I take. I struggle with letting people in and know how I really feel. I struggle with learning to know new people and I struggle with socialising in general.
This was extremely relatable and though it may seem silly, saying it about a pony fanfic, I have as I read this felt encouraged to deal with my own fears. I don't get how you managed to set your self in our situation and describe it this well, but I love it and I thank you for publishing it here so I could read it.
5471963 At least half of Lily's internal monologue is stuff I've used myself to justify the wall. In writing, I've found a way to see things from the outside and it's been a real educational experience. It isn't silly at all in being inspired by a pony fanfic either. Pony fiction has covered a wide range of subjects from sexuality to death and decay in a post-apocalyptic Equestria. Bronys aren't just a fandom but a culture with music, arts and letters. I'm very happy you were able to carry something away from reading this, and know that there is a friend out there for you too.
5472039
I recognised some stuff from there, too. My friends always try to get me out and around more, and try to get me to let loose more, seeing as they have no problems social what so ever, but I find it hard. I can imagine...
Your right, it's not silly, it doesn't matter what form it is, if you get something out of the text, something help and supporting, something that encourage you to do great things.
Wow. Lily is totally me here. Poor Lily. She needed a hug.
5651498 I've had many similar comments. I'm touched that people have found some measure of empathy for her situation, and enjoyed this short, unassuming little tale.
I thought it would be better to put said thoughts on their respective story.
This one is just precious~ actually made me feel like Lilly Valley, and considering i read this before Fertile Ground, imagine how much more real it made reading it after this. Really nice to take a break from the clop every now and again though, just most E rated fics don't catch my interest, I think I only found this because of one of the other stories, glad I did though~
Now if only we had a look into the life of Daisy (what was the second half of her name again?). Hint hint?~~
6443992
The incident in this story occurred at the end of The Scent of Prey. Fertile Ground wasn't even a twinkle in my eye when it was conceived. That said, the way Lily and Roseluck are portrayed in my all of my fics is universal, making this an AU version of FG if you desire.
What an interesting idea! FG was my first attempt at fleshing out the Daisy character in any of my stories. I could go into detail about how she and Roseluck met, hit it off, and became business partners. I could even go into the time Lily Valley showed up in Ponyville after leaving Hoofington, and fell in love with Roseluck — all told from the eyes of Daisy or perhaps another third-person voyage.
I like your idea!
Daisy is the fan-name assigned to the background pony "Flower Wishes." Since I'm a product of derpibooru's tagging system, I tend to go with the most popular tag on that website as the go-to name in canon/fanon disputes. Linky excluded.
6444140 what? I go by fandom names honestly, i called her Daisy before any of this.
You like ideas? I got hundreds of em.
6444930 I've love to hear your ideas for a Daisy fic, shoot me a PM, and I'll give you credit for the idea in the description on the completed story.
I suspect either she has a high-level social anxiety disorder or perhaps a past significant trauma that caused her to fear trusting others. Either way the silliness of the milk conundrum aside, I am glad that Carrot Top was able to break the first barrier.
11804553
Hey, I appreciate the comment! I saw you commented on TSoP as well. Did you find me through Firesight by any chance?
11805383
That sounds about right