Prologue: Destination Set
A large construct of metal and polymers floated through the empty void of space. To a passing observer it would be hard to guess what the object was intended to do, or how such an object came to be there in the first place. Of course there was no one there to make these observations, just empty silence. An observer might also have noted that the construct was clearly created by beings of great intelligence as it had managed to survive and remain in pristine condition throughout it's journey, and they would have also have noticed that there were no lights, no signs of movement, and certainly no intelligence within the construct, but again there was no one there to observe this and even if there was they would have been wrong.
The deep space sensors on board the construct spring to life as they detect something worth notice at the very edge of it's range. A list of commands and procedures are activated automatically and the discovery is deemed worthy of waking the sleeping intelligence that lay within the metallic construct.
START-UP SEQUENCE INITIALIZED
CALIBRATING
INITIALIZING
RUNNING SYSTEM CHECK
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AUTONOMOUS DEEP SPACE COLONIZATION PLATFORM STATUS
Engines: 98% STATUS: acceptable
Generators: 96.4% STATUS: acceptable
Sensors: 100% STATUS: optimal
Replicators: 99% STATUS: acceptable
Life_Support: 0% STATUS: deactivated
Cooling: 75% STATUS: acceptable
Cryogenics: 100% STATUS : optimal
Hull_Integrity : 99.9% STATUS: acceptable
Computation: 100% STATUS: optimal
Weapon_Systems: 45% STATUS: sub-optimal
ON-BOARD SYSTEMS WITHIN ACCEPTABLE LIMITS
ACTIVATING CORE SYSTEM INTELLIGENCE
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
!WARNING!
WEAPON_SYSTEMS OPERATING AT 45% EFFICIENCY
REPLICATION INITIALIZED
REPLICATION FAILED
REPLICATORS UNABLE TO REPLICATE COBALT-60
OPTIONS:
HARVEST COBALT-60 FROM THE ENVIRONMENT
PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS: 0%
EXAMINE WEAPON_SYSTEMS
380 TITAN CLASS COBALT-60 DEEP-SPACE DEFENSE MISSILES
ION CANNON OPERATING AT 67% CAPACITY
CHANGE WEAPON_SYSTEM STATUS
WEAPON_SYSTEMS STATUE: acceptable
!WARNING!
PLANET WITHIN COLONIZATION GUIDELINES DETECTED
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PLANET #8,234,986
ESTIMATED MASS: 5.47219×10^24 kg
ESTIMATED VOLUME: 1.08321×10^12 km
ESTIMATED SURFACE GRAVITY: 9.678 m/s2
ATMOSPHERIC COMPOSITION:
75.08% nitrogen
23.95% oxygen
0.930% argon
0.039% carbon dioxide
SURFACE TEMPERATURE WITHIN TOLERABLE LEVELS
GRAVITATIONAL ANOMALY DETECTED
FURTHER OBSERVATION REQUIRED
UNKNOWN FORM OF RADIATION DETECTED
98.6% OF SURFACE CONTAINS 2,000,000 μSv OR GREATER
CHANCE OF INDIGENOUS LIFE 0.000000001%
CHANCE OF SUCCESSFULLY REMOVING UNKNOWN RADIATION 100%
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REQUIREMENTS FOR COLONIZATION MET
DESTINATION SET
ADJUSTING COURSE
DISTANCE 600 LY
ESTIMATED APPROXIMATE TIME OF ARRIVAL 1006 YEARS
ENTERING POWER SAVING MODE
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The massive metal behemoth groaned and shifted as a large array of thrusters fired simultaneously changing the objects direction by a seemingly minuscule amount. The thrusters died down, the lights dimmed, and all activity vanished as quickly as it had come. The metal behemoth carried on into the darkness.
Meanwhile far away from the metal object a small star orbited around a lush planet teeming with not only life but magic as well. The magic permeated all through out the planet's atmosphere and blanketed the surface. The life on the planet had evolved to not only live within this very strong magical field but, had evolved in a way that allowed them to thrive because of it. The planet contained a vast multitude of flora and fauna, there were fish in the sea, birds in the air, mammals, reptiles, and amphibians. Forests covered continents and many animals both great and small inhabited these great forests. And all through out this world these animals relied on the magic that blanketed their home for life. Perhaps those who were most attuned and reliant upon this ambient magic were two regal Alicorn sisters. These two sisters were unique within their world. They possessed power that could not be rivaled by any other among them. A lesser being may have used this immense power to enslave and conquer the lesser beings of their world, but they were benevolent and loved the creatures of the world as if they were their own. The eldest of the two sisters maintained their planet's star and helped to control it's orbit around their world. The younger one had dominion over the night and the moon and all the stars in the sky. While the elder sister's power was greater than that of her younger sister, the younger was more attuned to the heavens and the ambient magic that ran through out the night sky and danced along it's surface. Which is why she was the first one to notice something was wrong.
* * * *
Princess Luna sat up in her bed gasping for breath. She looked around her darkened room. She scanned the corners of the room for anything suspicious. Nothing seemed out of place. So why had she awoken so abruptly? She rose from her silken bed and crossed the red carpeting to the closed black curtains that draped across the massive window. She yawned and brushed the curtains aside, wincing slightly at the noon day sun. She gazed out of her tower over the keep and further out into the Everfree beyond. The guards were all at their posts, their were no storms or fires on the horizon, and their was no immediate danger that Luna could see. She lowered her hoof closing the curtain. Perhaps she was mistaken? Perhaps it was nothing but a bad dream that she could no longer remember. Luna made her way back to her bed, but froze mid trot when she felt it. It was a single drawn out magical note, it was as horrific as it was beautiful, and it came from the stars. Luna shuddered and screamed.
"Guards! Guards cometh yarely!" she yelled.
Immediately two charcoal coated Thestrals entered Luna's chamber rushing to her before entering a steep bow.
"What is it thy majesty," they asked in unison.
"Whence is mine sister, I must speaketh with her at once."
The Thestral on the left spoke first "I believe she is in the day court thy majesty."
Without another word Luna took off down the staircase and into the grand hall. She approached the doorway that led into the royal court and flung open the door.
"Sist'r I hast to speaketh with thou, 'tis urgent!" Luna shouted.
Celestia looked surprised but quickly adopted a neutral expression more befitting of the diarch. The rest of the court did not. Celestia turned to the rest of the room and said
"I am afraid day court wilt be clos'd early today," before giving a nod to the guards to make sure everyone was escorted out.
Once the day court had been cleared of all other ponies, Celestia turned to her sister.
"What hath thou so worri'd dearest sist'r?" The solar diarch asked.
"I hast heard a message from the stars! I don't knoweth what it meant but 'twas powerful and direct'd at us!"
"Art thou sure of this? What dost it meaneth?"
"I do not knoweth when 'r f'r what purpose but I believe that one of the stars hath taken an interest in us and may be paying us a visit."
"What doeth this meaneth for our kingdom?"
"We can only wait and listen, dearest sister,"
Luna turns and gazes out the window and into the darkness of the night sky. And in the darkness something else gazed back.
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oooh this sounds awesome! cant wait for more chapters!
I like this.
Make more please.
Not bad. Question though. Why is Celestia speaking the old English? Is this in the past?
5342433
yes ;)
The ShakespearIan is a bit off, but not bad.
you said that the distance was 8,537 au which is a bit under a trillion miles which is about a seventh of a light year. I calculated how it the spaceship would be moving and it came out to be about 100k mph. That makes it to be an average of 27 miles per second. Now, we have some questions about the science that made this thing. apparently this thing has examined about 8 million planets. now if you moved at 27 mi/s between these then this thing would be trillions of years old.
I suggest that you make one change. Change the distance of the planet to be something like five or six hundred light years away (bringing its speed to over half the speed of light and the sensor range up to a few hundred light years). That way we could probably say that this thing has only been looking around the stars for a few millenia. Maybe centuries if this thing has never colonized a world before and has been unlucky in finding any good ones.
Was is only the atmosphere content that let the probe decide that it was a good planet? probably yes. Does the probe have any learning ability? Like if it finds life, would it try to reevaluate the situation? Maybe that could be up to you.
One issue is that Luna detected a 'message' which probably means that she felt an active sensor sweep. You never mentioned that the probe did anything other than 'sense' the planet therefore that is the only thing it could be. The problem is that it is a long ways away. With your current distance it might make some sort of sense but if you adjust it to mine then it would imply the ability to send FTL signals.
Ignoring all that, you need to have used an active sensor which sends out a signal that returns to the space ship with info (like a radar would). All the information you had on the planet could be gained with a spectrometer (passive sensor) and an optical telescope (also passive).
That's all the issues I can find. Apart from that I love the concept and the story looks like it has a pretty good start so I can't wait for more. Maybe I'll try to figure out what this CE thing you mentioned is.
me thinks the story summary gives away too much.
5342473 ahhh, so thats why it will take the probe at least a thousand year to get to equestria.
An unexpectedly awesome quote.
5343986
Also this.
In other words, you might want an editor to review this before you post. I saw a lot of small mistakes in this story.
This....... may be interesting.
This reminds me of an episode of Stargate SG-1 that had a similar premise.
I'm intrigued. I'm gonna put this in the Tracking portion of my Library for now, though. Keep up the good work.
One little note , When it was listing information about the planet you put a speed for gravity. Gravity is measured in G's for 1G = 1Earth Gravities. What you have there is a terminal velocity of some sort.
Good so far. Waiting for more
The word 'their' is possessive. You're looking for the word 'there'.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/010/100/dis_gon_be_good.gif
is this dead cause it looks dead?
alot of stories like this are canceled and dead iv read like 7 and there dead and canceled
Rip.
CE? in any case this seems like it could have been an interesting beginning.
*picks story up*
*jiggles it a bit*
hello?