Trixie sighed as Saturday stretched before her, offering nothing. Her so-called friends both had dates. Her scooter was in the shop for a replacement part that was apparently being shipped from Magic Horseland, given how long it was taking to arrive. She was even out of peanut butter crackers.
Which was just how Trixie liked it. It meant she had a chance to check her EweTube subscriptions, and sure enough, she found a video less than an hour old. "Might as well," she grumbled, clicking the link.
After the blessedly skippable ad, the video began, showing a violet-skinned man with crazed hair behind a news desk. "Hello, I'm Lunatic Fringe and this is News of the Odd. Breaking news today from the not-so-sleepy suburb of Canterlot, Califoalnia, which is quickly becoming Weirdsville, FSA. We're getting reports of a nine-foot woman in an evening gown terrorizing a local mall." Blurry phone video started playing, showing what did seem to be a very large woman approaching the screen. "Officials have not yet responded to inquiries on the subject, but videos are coming to EweTube in droves." The video cut back to a smirking Lunatic. "And yes, Samuel Supercluster references abound. More on the story as it develops."
Trixie glared at the window, now just offering her related videos. The same woman looked out at her from several thumbnails. Somehow, the shakiness of the phone cameras that had captured the video was making it to the still images.
After a moment, Trixie realized that that was her vibrating with rage.
She snatched her phone off her desk and finger-jabbed her way through her contacts, gritting her teeth all the while. She paced about her room as she waited for the other person to pick up.
They finally did, with a sigh that only stoked the fires of Trixie's fury. "Are you an autocaller?"
"No, Trixie is not an autocaller!"
"Trixie?" said Sunset Shimmer. "How did you get this number?"
"Trixie asked the pink one. That isn't important. What is is that you had another magical adventure!"
"I... guess." To think, Shimmer had the nerve to sound hesitant! "I wouldn't really call it an ad—"
"And Trixie wasn't even there to see it!"
All hesitance left Shimmer. "What."
"Trixie is living vicariously through you girls and your access to the actual arcane, and you don't even have the common decency to face horrors beyond mortal comprehension where and when she can appreciate it anymore!"
"Trixie, I nearly fell into an infinite abyss today," said Sunset, as though that weren't amazing.
"And Trixie wasn't there to appreciate it!"
Shimmer was silent for a stretch, long enough that by the time she spoke, Trixie was about to check for a disconnected call. "I think we need to talk."
"We most certainly do." Trixie crossed her arms. Well, an arm; the other was holding the phone. Then she realized Shimmer couldn't appreciate it and just said, "Trixie doesn't think you properly appreciate our relationship, Shimmer."
"Do you listen to yourself when you talk?"
"Trixie tries not to make a habit of it. Now, she is going to find you, and you are going to introduce her to the giant woman—you did befriend the giant woman, didn't you?"
Trixie chose to believe Shimmer wasn't rolling her eyes. "She's not giant anymore, but yes."
"Good enough. You are going to introduce me to her, and then I will get to feel like I have some tiny sliver of importance in this world."
Another pause, but this time Trixie could hear discussion on the other end, though too far away from Shimmer's phone to make out. "We're in front of CHS. Pinkie has tissues if you need them."
"I won't." Trixie sniffed. There was pollen. Invisible pollen. "Thanks."
"Not a problem. I think this will be good for you."
Trixie bit her lip. "Could... could I get a ride there?"
"Of course. Pinkie and I will be there in five minutes. We'll bring someone else who I think you'll be happy to meet."
"The giant woman?"
"Better."
Six minutes and twenty-seven seconds later—not that Trixie was counting or anything—Shimmer's car pulled up in front of Trixie's house. Trixie looked through the passenger side window warily. "Did you have to bring the pink one?"
Shimmer gave a sheepish smile. "I didn't actually know where you live."
"I know where everyone at school lives!" the pink one said from next to her.
"That's extremely disturbing." Trixie got in the back and looked at the girl next to her. She definitely didn't resemble the giant woman. "So, who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Starlight Glimmer. I'm a magical unicorn from Equestria."
It took about ten minutes for Trixie to calm down enough for Sunset to start the drive back.
Eee En Vee Why == ENVY
Awwww! So heartwarming for EQG!Trixie! :squee:
I thought SU ref was Steven Spielberg.
Trixie Handler! :lol: at that too!
"Pink One" as well! :lol:
...
I think you need to have an intervention about bland name products.
...Shit, which folder do we add this to? All of them?!
8302418
After all, Trixie has spell envy.
8302491
That is entirely possible.
8302496
Depends. What group did you want to add it to?
You see, the problem with publishing all of these snippets as a collection rather than individually means I cannot upvote each one seperately as is deserved. How are you supposed to get your deserved share of meaningless internet points?
I don't even watch Steven Universe and I was singing that song.
This made me happy
I know Trixie is being irrational and even narcissistic here. But even so, as someone prone to feeling left out of things, I can feel for her and vividly imagine the emotions going through her at the end.
8302421
Trixie isn't sure what the pink one is, but it definitely isn't human. She isn't referring it to by name lest she draw its notice.
8302660
Through comments, of course. Thanks for helping to affirm my worth as a person by writing something in response to my horse fiction.
8302992
Neither do I; I first learned of the song through Dragonball Z Abridged. And yet it still came to mind as I was developing this idea.
8303453
The idea started as an expansion on my blog post that considered the Equestria Girls franchise from Trixie's perspective up through Legend of Everfree. Then I checked Derpibooru; she doesn't appear to be in any of the "Noun Magic" specials. That's got to sting. I decided to do something about it.
Oh, that ending. Of course Trixie would get along with Starlight brilliantly.
Thank you for preemptively answering my FSA question in the author's note! And consider me nerd-sniped by the acronym in the first place.
A fun little story, though I wonder why Trixie is so much more impressed with Starlight Glimmer than Sunset Shimmer.
But this does make me feel like Mirror Magic made a mistake: Instead of Juniper Montage, Trixie should have found that mirror. The motivations that drove Juniper fit well with Trixie, and it would actually make sense that Starlight Glimmer is the one who could talk her down.
I nearly started singing 'Giant Woman' out loud when I read the A/N
That's a badass show, Steven Universe. You need to watch a couple episodes.
delete your blog
XD That Steven universe song call back in the author notes...I can't...it's too good!
Also I would 100% be Trixie in this situation XD