Dueling Keyboards

by FanOfMostEverything

Vernal Equine Talks

The plan was sound: Get back to Princess Twilight, arrange a spacial gate between the two portals, and usher everyone through to Canterlot High while spending as little time and space in Equestria as possible. And, of course, make it clear that any questions about the magical transit between the island and the mainland would be met with questions about the Lux Deluxe’s lack of bulkheads, fuel pump cutoffs, trained mechanics, and so forth. Questions which would be asked in court.

Unfortunately, Sunset came up with that plan about five minutes after going through the portal with ten other students.

Flash Sentry had fallen back into his old role of placating Sunset when her dark schemes had gone awry. Twilight, meanwhile, occupied her time thinking of all the ways the debacle could’ve gone better.

“I should’ve just had us go to Equestria for spring break,” she concluded.

“Well, there’s plenty of time for that still, but I personally preferred the option that let me keep my fingers.” Rarity, walking alongside Twilight, frowned and twitched her tail. “And my clothes.”

As if to emphasize her point, a breeze then blew through the forest at a specific angle. Twilight shuddered and said, “Yeah, trying not to think too hard about that.”

“Same, but it’s rather difficult for me to simply ignore matters of fashion.” The frown deepened enough that a few sparks flew from Rarity’s horn. “Or the lack thereof.”

Another quandary made itself known from Twilight’s subconscious processing. “Rarity, would you mind if I asked you something personal and potentially offensive?”

“Darling, right now I would welcome it. Anything to get my mind off of being a tiny, naked horse.”

“Right. Well, apologies in advance, but…” Twilight chewed her lip for a moment before she could get out the next words, and even then, they came out softly. “Did you actually care for Ragamuffin?”

“Hmm.” Rarity turned thoughtful, looking off into the middle distance. Her own answer was equally quiet. “Well, given what we now know, that’s a rather tricky question. I certainly fell for his facade, in every sense of the phrase. His aspirations, his accent… and the looks didn’t hurt, if I’m being honest.”

Twilight nodded as she mentally filed a few hypotheses as confirmed. “So you have a thing for orange-skinned freckled blonds with unusual accents, blue-collar origins, and an interest in the arts.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Are you going somewhere with this, Twilight?”

“I’m just trying to figure out the dynamic between you and Applejack.”

A grin teased the corners of Rarity’s mouth. “That’s a rather dangerous question, Miss ‘I Wouldn’t Trade You for Anything in Any World.’”

“And I meant that. My affection for Sunset and my affection for Timber are different from one another, or any of my other friendships. Without any other data points, I don’t know which is more…” Twilight hunted for a word, almost waving a hand before remembering that she didn’t have any at the moment. “Well, more genuine, for lack of a better word.”

That got a fond smile. “Both are genuine, darling. Both come from your heart.” The smile shifted into a smirk. “And really, if anyone could manage their time with two lovers—“

Twilight made some kind of startled horse noise. “I think we’re getting off topic!” She felt herself flush as the outburst drew everyone else’s eyes for a moment. After waiting a few seconds for their attention to wander again, she said, “But that is why I’m asking. After Equestria Land, I thought… Well, I don’t want to make any assumptions about your orientation.”

“I don’t think in terms of male or female, only beauty. Mostly inner, but some outer; I’m not blind.” Rarity hummed in thought. “With Ragamuffin, I think part of it was the beauty of the tragic romance-that-cannot-be. We’ll likely not see him again after this, outside of social media.”

“And Applejack?”

“Applejack absolutely has an inner beauty to match her outer. All my friends do, you included. And we are close. We’ve known each other since kindergarten and have been friends for much of that time. But…” Rarity frowned as she trailed off.

After a few seconds, Twilight said, “But?”

Rarity gave a very equine snort. “Well, for all that Applejack can lift several tons these days, she’s gotten no better at picking up hints.”

“Ah.” Twilight found her mind slipping into problem-solving mode. “Have you tried talking to her about it directly?”

Rarity shook her head. “One cannot be direct in these matters without reeking of desperation. Besides, in all our years together, I haven’t seen any indication that Applejack is attracted to anyone, much less other girls. For all I know, she’d sooner marry one of her apple trees.”

“And I suppose you can’t talk to her directly about that either.”

That got a look very much like the kind Cadence would give Twilight when she was being especially socially inept. “No offense meant, Twilight, but even you knew to hesitate when raising the subject.”

“Point.”

“And I do raise the topic indirectly. Point out attractive young men and women, see how she reacts.” Rarity shook her head. “Except she doesn’t.”

“Y’all do know I can hear you, right?” Applejack said from in front of them.

Both unicorns stumbled at that. “Y-you can?” Rarity said as she tried to get her hooves back under her.

As Applejack slowed down to move to Rarity’s other side, she waggled her ears. Ears that, Twilight realized, were turning to stay pointed towards them. “These things ain’t just for show. An’ for th’ record, I ain’t th’ only one who’s been missin’ hints.”

“Oh?” Even Twilight’s less than stellar social acumen could detect both dread and anticipation in the question.

Applejack smirked. “I don’t make boo-dwarrs outta my own trees for just anyone, sugarcube.”

Twilight started drifting to the other side of the group. “I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you two to your conversation.”

“Not like we can get much privacy right now.” Rarity looked at the others with clear distaste. “Or am I to believe that Applejack was the only one eavesdropping?”

“It’s not really eavesdropping when you do it in the middle of the group,” Dash said from overhead. That got several murmured assents and a branch-shaking “YEAH!” from Bulk.

“Bonnie owes me ten bucks when we get back,” added Lyra. “Told her I had better gaydar.”

“Isn’t this more bidar?” said Ditzy Doo. “Or pandar? Or does that detect people who really like eating bamboo?”

As the conversation got steadily more ridiculous, Fluttershy brushed up against Twilight. “Um, if it’s any consolation, I don’t think Sunset heard any of that.” She nodded ahead. Indeed, Sunset didn’t seem to register anything going on in her little herd, busy grumbling to herself as Flash awkwardly stretched a wing over her back.

Twilight sighed, still feeling her cheeks burn. “Not really.”

“And, um, I…” Fluttershy’s wings fidgeted as she stammered. “I do, uh, ship you two.”

Twilight thought about that for a few steps. “I can’t decide if that’s encouraging or creepy.”

“Both?”

“Both.”

Comments

[Malandy]

Nice~!

Shipper Fluttershy~!

Rarijack!

Whooo!

Also, acoustics of a group!

[MythrilMoth]

*amused horse noises*

[Darkstarling]

Can't speak directly, but if you overhear things? Well. That's different then.

"Pandar"... oh Harmony that's bad even for me.

Timber-Twi-Sunset-Flash would be an interesting polycule. Once Twilight hears that term, I can just imagine her trying to come up with more elaborate classifications too. That would be a butane.

[WanderingPony]

I'd call it Ly-dar, myself.

[Speckle]

This needs to become a series

[FanOfMostEverything]

9538702
Fluttershipping may or may not involve doujinshi. We cannot confirm that at this time.

9538707
Rejected chapter title: "Just Girl-Horses Talking About Crushes"

9538807
Wouldn't it just be a peroxide? Who are those other ten people?

9539004
Nah, that would only detect Lyra herself. With lasers.

9539114
What does? The girls having slice-of-lifey conversations, EqG humans doing silly things in Equestria, or the fallout of this specific conversation?

[Speckle]

9541885
All of the above

[Darkstarling]

9541885
And here I was just counting carbons. Peroxide makes more sense, it's even gender-coded.

[PresentPerfect]

Twilight made some kind of startled horse noise.

I laughed at this perhaps more than was necessary.

[StarrySkies]

“I don’t think in terms of male or female, only beauty. Mostly inner, but some outer; I’m not blind .” Rarity hummed in thought.

That is nicely profound, and very Rarity.

[Janicethelight]

Fluttershy is me XD
This is so cute.