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Exploring probability space for fun and the absence of profit

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  • Today
    Friendship is Card Games: The End in Friend

    This week’s forecast: A drama front is sweeping into central Equestria, escalating minor conflicts and bringing long-simmering issues to a boil. Everyone is advised to stay as far from Castle Canterlot as possible. Maybe visit Ponyville for a while. It’s not like the Bearers will be—

    Breaking news, I have some words to eat.

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    0 comments · 0 views
  • Thursday
    Cover of Weezer

    Just a notice that while this may be a strange timeline, it is not the darkest one.
    Skip to 3:20 for Weird Al.

    5 comments · 74 views
  • 1 week
    Friendship is Card Games: Friendship University

    Wherein we see why Wisdom shouldn’t be your dump stat, especially not if you’re a wizard.

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    17 comments · 245 views
  • 1 week
    Quixotic Wolf

    Well, not quite a wolf, but there aren't currently any coyotes in Magic.

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    3 comments · 211 views
  • 1 week
    Friendship is Card Games: A Matter of Principals and The Hearth's Warming Club

    Ugh, completely forgot this week was going to have a double feature. Maybe I should’ve just gone with the Australian release…

    In any case, precedent says the protocol here is two episodes, one blog. Tiime for some serious quality time with the Student Six.

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    20 comments · 246 views

Suffer the Past · 3:00pm Oct 4th, 2016

I’d like to discuss a truly wonderful little moment in Legend of Everfree. Let’s just slap on one of these to make sure this is safe for those who haven’t yet seen the movie and plan on doing so:

Now, suppose for a moment that you are human Trixie. You’ve spent your entire life dreaming of having supernatural powers. Then one horrible, wonderful night, you discover magic is real… and you don’t get any.

Still, it’s not so bad. The school bully got humiliated in front of the entire student body, you’re no longer her brainwashed demonic thrall, and again, you now know that magic really exists. Surely if those jokers could get magic for a night, so can you. Also, the weird new girl was some kind of horse demigod, which is pretty neat, even if she does seem a bit wary around you. (Actually, that’s even better. Even gods step carefully around the Great and Powerful Trixie!)

Fast forward a bit. You have a shred-off with one of the lucky girls for a truly amazing guitar… and her magic comes back. Wings, ears, and a shockwave that sends you rump over teakettle. She lets you have the guitar. Why shouldn’t she? She stole your dream instead.

Also, the stupid thing costs way more than you anticipated.

The Musical Showcase arrives, only it’s the Battle of the Bands, a far better opportunity to present your greatness and power. The horse demigod is back, but whatever spell she tries to cast doesn’t work. Justice at last! You and your band climb to the semifinals, up against the lucky girls. Sunset does a sabotaging stage dive, guaranteeing your victory!

… Except it doesn’t. The principals give it to the Rainbooms. They stole your hopes and dreams. Again. But the other new girls give you a wonderful idea. A terrible, awful, wonderful idea. One that will more than make up for the pink one ruining your disappearing act.

You trap the filthy cheaters beneath the stage so they can hear you perform where you deserve to be, front and center, all eyes watching. The Dazzlings go on next, and their music… is…

The sound of drums breaks you out of your revery. The Rainbooms escaped! You don’t know what amp they’re using, but you can see the glow of their magic from where you stand. A true battle ensues, your very will bobbing in the current as titans clash. Your awareness fades as the Dazzlings deliver a devastating blow, but then Sunset Shimmer of all people takes up the microphone, and the seven girls summon a giant freaking energy horse.

You sing along. You hate yourself for it, and you hate that you hate yourself for joining something so incredible.

At least you manage to break up the kiss that the story says should happen, though the pink one sees through your disappearing act again.

Only afterwards do you see what the Dazzlings did to you. Their honeyed words turned you into their pawn, their tool, a weapon in the hands of those enchantresses that couldn’t even do its job right. Though given what that job might have really been, given what the drop into the storage area might have done to those girls…

Well, you already knew they were lucky.

Move on to the Friendship Games tryouts, where people perform to impress Vice Principal Luna. You don't impress her. You, the Great and Powerful Trixie, when judged on a performance, fail to make the cut, when devil sticks, bizarre fight-flirting, and whatever the grey girl did are considered sufficient.

You resign yourself to watching Canterlot High lose, but then Rainbow Dash gives a pep rally so amazing, it triggers her transformation without her even playing guitar. These thieves of hope and dreams have actually given some back, even though you know it’s an empty promise.

You take it anyway. They’re not even mad about the Battle of the Bands. They cite the mind control.

They’re so much better than you, it hurts.

The Games begin. A girl who looks eerily like the demigod horse is playing for Crystal Prep. Curious, but nothing to get worked up over. The Academic Decathalon comes surprisingly close. Canterlot may actually have a chance.

Then the triathalon turns into an Ogres & Oubliettes encounter, complete with multiple magical transformations on the part of the lucky girls. They manage to contain it. You breathe a sigh of relief. You may want magic, but that’s a bit much. You hope they’ve hit their quota for the Games.

So, obviously, Little Miss Not-Horse-Demigod becomes a demon at the start of the final event. She starts tearing holes in the universe, apparently leading to one permeated with magic. You barely keep yourself from jumping into one long enough to see Sunset Shimmer spout some sentimental nonsense, hold up some kind of magical compact, and turn into something…

Well, there’s only one way to describe it. She becomes great. She becomes powerful. She who once was a demon overcomes the new demon. Principal Celestia declares everyone winners, and you manage not to roll your eyes.

Twibright Spackle transfers to Canterlot. You try to distract yourself with the fundraising to go to Camp Everfree. You largely succeed.

Time to go to camp. Everyone hopes for a reprieve from the supernatural, including you and the lucky girls. (Even bad luck is still luck, and they’ve had nowhere near enough to balance out the good.)

One of the counselors tells a story of a forest spirit with all the believability of an urban legend. The next day, the grey girl crashes a boat into the dock. The pink one asks if you think it’s said spirit.

She, one of the lucky ones, perhaps the one most oblivious to how mind-bogglingly lucky she is, asks you your thoughts on some possible supernatural phenomenon when she has personally vanquished demons, thwarted enchantresses, and snuck more pyrotechnics onto school grounds than you ever managed.

Yeah, I’d make that face too. To begin with.

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Comments ( 30 )

Huh. I had never thought of what human Trixie was going through.

Of course, that's true of the human versions of every single character.

That makes me sad for Trixie :fluttercry:

Magic is as much her dream as it's sunset's, if not more. To see it in front of her and not being able to have it must hurt.

I don't know, Trixie, you have it pretty good considering what your "other" self went through. If only you could get the chance to switch places for a bit and realize that magic isn't what it's cracked up to be (mostly because pony land has even more lucky chosen ones with OP powers). Perhaps then you'd appreciate the respectable amount of popularity that you enjoy.

But, this is official MLP and that will never happen. :applejackunsure:

Oh boy. Poor Trixie. :twilightsheepish:

Shoulda jumped into one of those portals --- though with her luck, the portals probably led to those alternate-timeline Equestrias from the season 5 finale. :twilightoops:


Though interestingly enough, a EQG/s5-alt-univ crossover hasn't happened yet to my knowledge. Nor a "lots of EQG humans fall through cracks in reality to Equestria". I think someone wrote a "Sugar Coat messes up Equestrian history" timetravel-fic though.

....Little tip, though: That giant gaping "SPOILER" image might deter even people who've seen EQG4 in light of this weeks ... possible developments. Less "let's read the first paragraph", more a "GAH! GIANT SPOILER IMAGE! BEGONE, FOWL DEMON!" (also, it shows up on the right frame as the blog-post preview.)

So, mention the blog is about "Equestria Girls Legend of Everfree" in the blog-post title, maybe? :twilightsmile:

You make me want to pick up my Substitute Mentor.

Sucker that I am for parallel universes and overthinking things, I can't help but do so.

She seems to have grown used to it. It's getting her lack of involvement rubbed in her face by one of the magical ones that seems to really sting, even if that wasn't what Pinkie meant.

Yeah, pony Trixie would probably envy her alternate self's relative stability and objectively better social standing. You know what they say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the interdimensional portal.

A pretty intriguing premise there.

Also, you did see the first paragraph of the blog, right? Plus, the image stacking was deliberate; don't want to give away the punchline.

Exactly as planned. I admit, that did come to mind. Especially the magical girl jokes.

Actually for me when I read this I actually laughed my self silly. Tixie is one of the worst villains out there she ranks up there with starlight glimmer. I don't feel sorry or sad for her at all.

I had this idea of Sunset and the Humane Six getting surprised when the portal goes wonky, then out pops another Sunset... who's from one of the Bad End Altquestrias, where the Mane Six never became Celestia's champions, and Sunny (with a crew of her own) stood in their stead, until Something Went Wrong. Now, she's looking for allies and resources to fight back against the villain(s) who took over her world, and she's not going to be picky...

This idea intrigues me.

She had just managed to sneak all the way to the now-empty marble plinth the Wondercolts statue had been on when Trixie bumped into a teenage girl coming around the corner.

"Lyra!" Trixie paused, looking at the large backpack her rival was carrying. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing you are," said Lyra with a smirk. "Going to travel to Equestria and see how the other half lives."

"Well, I never!" huffed Trixie. "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need anybody to tag along with her as she claims her rightful magic. It's mine, you hear me! All mine!"

Lyra shrugged. "Suit yourself." She held up a hand and wriggled her fingers. "I just want to see what it's like with real hooves."

4239733 4239760
Consider this: By the time they go back through the portal, Twilight and Starlight have done their dance again, and it's a completely different Equestria. Possibly one where Sunset is the tyrant on the throne.

"Hooves? Really?"

"I don't mock your dreams, Lulamoon."

At the very least, I should do something with her in the Oversaturated World. She probably didn't stop smiling for a week.

4239732 Because being a flashy showmare and being corrupted by a semi-sentient crystal of pure evil magic into holding a town prisoner is definitely the same as brainwashing an entire town and trying to destroy time and space.

Trixie is nowhere near Starlight Glimmer.

4239810 The great and now average trixie ouch

This is possibly why the Lunaverse exists....it bothers people that someone got crapped all over just because she managed to antagonize Godmode Suekle.

Trixie And Lyra Roadtrip Equestria

...Huh. Never thought of that.


Though interestingly enough, a EQG/s5-alt-univ crossover hasn't happened yet to my knowledge. Nor a "lots of EQG humans fall through cracks in reality to Equestria". I think someone wrote a "Sugar Coat messes up Equestrian history" timetravel-fic though.

I'm honestly surprised more authors haven't taken advantage of the dimensional rifts in Friendship Games. HiE is popular and Friendship Games gave us a near-canon method of writing HiE. And yet as far I can tell, most HiE authors keep writing the same types of fics.

To be fair, I don't keep up with HiE trends that closely, if I can help it.

Author Interviewer

Now I am sad. D:

4239700 Ehh, at least Trixie didn't have to settle for a BS power like "empathy," and now she knows the magic is out there and anyone can use it just by picking up some crystals...

Ooh. A Sunsetception! Dammit, do I really have to try and write this thing now?

It's because HiE authors aren't writing about just any human in Equestria, they're putting self-inserts and "badass" humans there. A pastel-colored EqG high schooler with a pony name already doesn't scratch their itch.

Better than having no magic at all.

And yet one of the colts who actually did bait the Ursa Minor went on to become a buckball star. There's no justice in the world.

If it makes you feel better, Trixie seems to be taking matters into her own hands hooves hands:


She's reading the book on magical portal maintenance from Friendship Games. This could indicate plans to visit Magic Horse Land.

Yes, because the ability to access thoughts, memories, and entire mindscapes with a touch is such a worthless power. :ajbemused:

4240955 For Twilight to admit that her prissy declaration that boasting meant that stupid people could come along and destroy Trixie's life was wrong and damaging would mean admitting to being full of crap about a very important thing. Best to poison the well and not admit that she's created her own damned villain; it's like watching the insane red-head on Winx Club not admit to building a bad guy or two.

Author Interviewer

I like it, except that seeing that screen shot only reminds me of the porn version I saw prior to the movie. <.<

4240955 Looks like uncontrollable reading of random surface thoughts to me. Not really useful on the day to day, except for spying on people (the ones who are willing to let her touch them frequently).
If she's not going to get back together with Sentry that might be for the best, as it avoids those overwrought storylines X-Men used to have with Rogue and Gambit.

Given how she's able to touch people without reading their thoughts, I'd say she has some control over it, to say nothing of the exposition dump she was able to yank out of Gloriosa's mind.

4241249 I thought she was getting thought-blasted every time she touches someone?
She got Gloriosa's mental monologue once they stumbled into the secret cave and they asked her what she was doing. It seems like Sunset was just smart enough to get Gloriosa to think about what she'd done.

I'm just afraid that in this new super-team they are building, Sunset will be the Charles Xavier, giving orders but not really going on missions.

Great. Now I really wanna give Trixie a huge hug. Then swipe the crown and give it to Trixie. And since this is fiction... she controls it effortlessly! ;)

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