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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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okay, this is starting to get annoying, you've written pretty much the same chapter a couple of times now, and it's getting boring, and the potential ending of " she loves me, therefore I should love her back' isn't that interesting a conclusion, and again, one that you have used before in Luna's chapter of the royal break up chronicles.
Aw, snap! The final chapter is-
...Fuck you.
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You do realize there's another part right? That whole overused trope I apparently used here doesn't necessarily have to mean it carries through to the finale.
People are so impatient nowadays
6144613 I know right?
I say dump her. She clearly has a possesive issue with Tobias seeing more as a item rather then a person with rights and feelings.
Also the fact that SHE POISONED HIM. At this point if Tobias stays with her it will eventually involve another problem and the cycle would
repeat itself all over again.
Jealous Tia is amusing.
Y'all already know my opinion, I get downvoted every time I say it. It's just like Reddit but with rainbow colors.
Awwww, i feel for Celestia, i really do, and i Think he should give her Another chance after he makes it VERY clear that she should never, ever, EVER frikking do anything like that ever again.
Now i do think that while he should admit that he still loves her, he should also tell her that she has alot to make up for and that it will be a long way ahead of her Before they are a couple again.
Justice MUST be served. Make her suffer
But then you'd just be ignorant to her instability for a bit longer, only a bit longer because as soon as he steps out of line in accordance to her fantasies she's going to do this. So he shouldn't do this, try to fix or appease her, because one should only entertain crazy long enough to get away from it.
She has a nice dream, which could have happened (and might even, only more hollow, not like she'd notice), too bad she's this kind of crazy and all that entails.
Honestly, he should have played along until he was healthier, then go to Luna and/or Chryssalis, ideally both.
But now he should work overtime for more liberties, then take a bath by himself, then put his head under water, and inhale. Or easier, in terms of theory, break a mirror in the bathroom, because she has to have some, and make a shank from it, then either drive it through his temple or throat, because /ing wrists takes too long and she'd most likely check on him before it gets done, but the best option would be to jump off a balcony during a midnight walk through the castle, assuming he'd earned the freedom to do so alone, or at least be sent with someone he can convince to close their eyes and count to five for a surprise.
But even then, magic is bs and she'd probably bring him, or whatever would pass as or take the place of him, back. And he seems to be falling for her treatments.
She's criminally obsessive and he needs to get away however he can. When you no longer live on your own terms and there's no, by any stretch of the mind, a feasible and realistic way out, it's time to clock out. She makes this decision rather easy to make given her powers, ethereal and not. Because I'd certainly rather die free than live a slave, and he's a tortured slave no less.
Part two is being waited for.
Okay man, I have read a lot of your fics and have loved all of them. But even when they're going crazy or dark it tends to end in a 'happy' ending (even when it really isn't). And for this one I'd have to say that even with all her fears driving her crazy, she still crazy. In my humble opinion, given all that has occurred his appropriate response should be
WOULD YOU PLEASE BEAT HER FACE IN WITH A CROWBAR!!??
Okay, so let me get these things straight, but so we are clear.
1) Toby seriously wants to dump Tia, but because she's a caring sociopath, she keeps him deep within Canterlot.
2) We start to learn how possessive she really is. Keeping him locked up, never letting him move until the poison is unaffected, and manipulating him to make her seem like the good girl she really is.
3) As the poison is slowly becoming undone, we watch/read that Toby is slowly becoming under her manipulative control, and she's doing a dang good job. Caring for him, loving him in two different ways, and possess sly keeping under locks.
4) She fooled all guards, so no help is on the way. He's on his own on this one.
5) He's being humiliated, but he's starting to grow on it, more thinking that she's caring for him in the most childish way possible.
6) (SPOILERS) This chapter was the BIG one. In order, Toby worked as a Cashier in a Coffee Shop. Celestia would visit regularly for the man she loves, but the Manager, Herdona, would purposely give him easy jobs and big payment. Celestia grew jealous and put a scent on him, claiming that Toby was hers. Later, Celestia finally found a way home, by fearing of being lonely and the love of her life disappearing from her arms, she completely destroyed any transport back to Earth. When Toby found out, he was disappointed and angry she destroyed passport back home. Celestia got angry and tried to beg him to get back, then to demand to get back. Failing that, she grew restless, poisoning him, and telling a large black and white lie to the guards that someone around Canterlot poisoned him. Keeping him safe underground, Celestia took care of him while he was paralyzed by the poison. Toby grew into the humiliation customs: Bathing, Brushing, Loving, and he suddenly fell in love, forced against his will. When Celestia finally decided check how he really felt about her (Correc me if I'm wrong), they made a Mind Connection to see their memorable moments. Toby went through each emotion: Anger, Affection, Jealousy, and the unpredicted Future. Though we have no idea what Celestia witnessed, we do know that Toby isn't sure whether he should trust her or not.
So it leads down (In my own opinion) to this: We don't know. I mean, how can you love someone when your immortal for the rest of your life? For 1000 plus years with no love and affection other than the citizens and your sister, I, too, would have gone mad. If the love of my life dies, I would be upset, and realize I could never love again; At least, until I found a spell for it. We could be together forever, until the sun blows up or the Earth does.
On the other hand, that is some messed up stuff. Humiliated without movement, forced to be taken care of by the kidnapper, and destroying my one-way ticket home, that's not angry, that's Hell's Fury. If I was Toby, I'd fight back every last energy until all my bones are broken by my kidnapper. I don't care if I was taken care of, if she did that to me, it's over, DONE. But I'm not him; I'm not Toby. He dated Celestia for who-knows-how-long.
My answer is to let the audience decide, but all I did was wrap everything this story gave us. The real answer that I think is truly what the Author is telling me: It does not matter what you God Damn choose. If you still love her, why would you give that up?
I think he should gives he another chance as long as she knows his pain and how he felt about everything she put him through.
While I'm undecided on what Toby should do,(I still say you post both endings to satisfy both sides.) I'm hoping we get to see what Celestia saw in Toby's head. Could seeing his memories make her realize how badly she fucked up?
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Read the previous chapter
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Oh right, I forgot that she already did that.(This is what happens when there's that big of a gap between chapters. The memory fades away.)
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What the fuck?
But satisfaction brought it back
Celestia's a special brand of crazy. A brand I have dubbed, "A Woman."
Annnnd i'm done...
I apologize, though you really should be apologizing to us, this story started out great but it just seem to be dragging on and on and on... and this was only part ONE?
I was vying for him to NOT be with celestia but now he is (?) anyways, too confusing for me, i think i will wait for another one of your works to come out.
Your view of love is quite skewed.
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Tisn't my actual view of it silly
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You'll be waiting an awfully long time then I'm afraid, after this story I don't think I'll write any more on this site.
People are so impatient nowadays, I really should put a warning asking for such before I do any story.
Oh well, cya
6148404 I have my doubts.
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I don't care very much
6148603 Wouldn't expect you too.
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Good.
6148920 I absolutely love your writing style. I can't wait to see what's gunna happen in the end! Hopefully you don't leave forever, but it's up to you. Also don't let the haters take you down always stand tall because you got lots of fans on your side! (including me)
6148409 Well first off let's rewind, lets pretend mine and your comment didn't happen.
First, this thing is taking too long. Your story seems to drag on it seems, like other people have said it seems like every chapter is waking up to a mind fucking and going to bed with a fucked mind, wake up hating her and repeat. while this one had some promise it went NOWHERE. I feel like you specifically catered to the nonexistent cloppers with that one scene and generally you've kinda killed this story. It feels like an infinite strip tease. Will he go with Celestia, will he not? Will you please just answer the question instead of giving us more and more of a reason to hate celestia and hope for his freedom.
Now, lets fast forward again to your comment since i see that apparently you seem to be mass answering comments in a sarcastic way, ergo you aren't really thinking, same as i was 30 minutes before i had to go to work.
I'm a personal fan of picking things apart so you'll have to bear with me.
First off, i'm a BIG fan of mind fuckery. I love ship teases and i generally love seeing characters under stress. Having been through a lot in my life i think i find it refreshing to read about someone else so i don't feel so alone.
This is an oxymoron, but that doesn't really matter. You're either being a cop out, because you've run out of ideas and dont want to tell us as such, even though we wont give a damn, or you're moving on to a different site. If you're moving onto a different site i would love to read your stuff there, along with the rest of the alicorn colt story.
Now this is stupidly insulting. Lets pick this one apart even further.
bap bap bap bap... let's see.
If i'm not correct that's about 40 days right? that's enough to call a story dead i'd say. I've waited longer for an update though, look at Mort takes a holiday, i think i waited 3 months for that one. I've... lets see... i waited for 2 months for a high end laptop that i hoped, but didn't know, i'd get. I'm currently on the verge of waiting for 2 and a half months for my paycheck to be bumped back up to my normal pay because my job is screwing me out of my money, retro pay ftw.
Do those not count?
Warning: if you read this story dont expect chapters every day lol!
Seriously, what kind of warning would you put? You can't say 'chapters will come out in parts so wait' people already know that. The issue is though, if half a shit looks like shit, do you expect the rest to look like a diamond? You can only recover from so much.
So with that, i bid you adue, i look forward to your next update on the colt story, and i would like to thank you for the wild rides you have provided in the past and i will enjoy them in the future i'm sure.
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I can't please everyone and to be fair I'm tired of trying to do so. If you don't have the patience to wait for a story update then I'm sorry to say that you're probably not going to like the world of books and creativity.
I take so long due to many reasons. The story is the way it is for many reasons.
But like I've already said I'm tired of trying to please everyone. Good night sir.
6149794 Okay what part of my comment did you not read? I've waited for, and counting, the percy jackson books, heroes of olympus, all but the first. I waited for inheritance (inheritance cycle) I've waited with baited breath for a chapter to you foal story, I've waited for an update on literally every story I've ever read on this site. You complain about not being able to please everyone, well listen up pretty boy, i don't think you got the news flash, YOU DON'T HAVE TO! Write what you want to write, obviously take some pointers from more prominent fans (not including me I'm more like a stalker to be honest), but seriously stop being so mean about it. You're probably tired and tired of reading negative comments, i understand. Get some rest, please, then come back and lets have a discussion, but this is devolving into flame and frankly i don't feel like participating in it.
And i understand, look at my stories (don't actually read them i dont think they are worth a celeberity read) you'll notice a really big gap between some chapters, but yet i still update and i still have people reading. People understand that real life shit happens. Please take your time.
Oh and in case you think i'm bullshitting, i'm very up to the idea of taking a picture of my bookshelf to post to imigur or someplace. It isn't spectacular but it's pretty much full of books, not including others i've read or sold.
6149660 What he said.
6148409 hey now, don't give up yet. What about the work we did for immortal lovers? Lets at least get that done?
I think (personal opinion) Tobias needs to get out of Equestria and go to the Crystal Empire or somewhere outside the borders of Equestria.
Also will the interrogation be finished too? I really like that story.
tell her that the both rush into this and both need time to really get to know each other (I'm the real celestial).
Tobias needs to get away from crazy celestia quick!
Personally, I'm banking on the ending where he rejects her manipulation. And the most logical conclusions are that:
1. He is somehow freed of her forever, either by Luna or Chrysalis, and Celestia will spend the rest of her life knowing that she and she alone was responsible for driving her love away. Even though she MADE him understand her more than anyone ever has, yet he still hated her for all she has done.
2. Tobias only has a little bit of resistance to Celestia's control. He takes advantage of any momentary lapse in her vigilance due to her joy of 'winning him over' by doing something like snapping his own neck or jumping out a window; killing himself as one last f-you to her and as his last act of rebellion.
Oh sure, you probably have a "Rejection" and "Submission" ending planned each, but I wonder which you will make 'the most canon'.
Well... I for one love these stories. There just aren't enough. Can't wait for more.
yes!! ive been waiting for what feels like forever, this is great
You was or am on the couch?
6149794 its easy to please me. just give me stuff to read
Some times Celestia feels like the main woman from misery
First of all, I want to apologize for taking so long to read this, but let's talk about this chapter for a sec.
This might be my favorite chapter of the story so far. While it was pretty clear how Celestia felt about Toby, this chapter paints a picture that is so clear, it's transparent. The "four doors, four emotions" idea was a brilliant direction to go in, and it helps to show that there are multiple sides to her obsession, as well as multiple causes. Does it justify her decisions, not to me, but in the words of Chris Rock, "I'm not saying it's right, but I understand."
Now we just have to see what Toby's going to decide. This experience has made him see the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of Celestia's psyche, and he truly understands her motivations now more than ever, so from here on, the question is how this experience has affected him and his resolve to leave.
Now I have to go read that blog you posted a few days ago.
Celestia's love is a very twisted kind of love, isn't it? Yet somehow, to me at the very least, it is somewhat... mesmerizing. I am not that good in the matter of heart, but I can't even imagine what it's like being Celestia, because to really understand her would mean I have to live for a thousand years, minimum, before finally falling in love with someone who genuinely loves her back. This fic gives a good description of what could have happened to such a person (or a pony, in this case) if they were rejected. It doesn't excuse all the things she's done to Tobias, but at least it makes her case understandable.
Celestia's love is a very twisted kind of love, isn't it? Yet somehow, to me at the very least, it is somewhat... mesmerizing. I am not that good in the matter of heart, but I can't even imagine what it's like being Celestia, because to really understand her would mean I have to live for a thousand years, minimum, before finally falling in love with someone who genuinely loves her back. This fic gives a good description of what could have happened to such a person (or a pony, in this case) if they were rejected. It doesn't excuse all the things she's done to Tobias, but at least it makes her case understandable.
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Is it wrong if the way she acts and thinks, is to me attractive (even arousing)
Caught up.
and he is broken.
Final verdict, Tobias is an absolute dumbass.
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No! For that news, I must put song!
I will personally bring you 100 scalps of people who compcomplain about how long it takes for you to write your stories! I will make them beg for death, and record it for your listening pleasure! I will make them suffer excruciating amounts of pain heretofore unknown by man! They will know true suffering! Just give the word! Or, you know, I could not do that, and you could just come back out of the goodness of your heart...