Fourth Wall Breakdown

by SmokeShadow95

Can you guess how it ends?

Princess Celestia closed the story book she had in her hooves. She placed it down on the floor next to her throne. Then she turned back to her audience. It was none other than Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, and- oh. I bet you are wondering why I am here. Well, you see, I managed to escape that crazy human obsessed pony. She chased me halfway across Equestria. I only escaped because I made a fake human out of straw and a sack. I put my hat on it and ran. She fell for it. I am sure she is still looking for me, but for now I will get back to narrating.

Celestia turned back to the three ponies that listened to her story. Only two of them were actually princesses. The third was Queen Chrysalis. I know. Why in Equestria is she there? Well, she did originally come to destroy Celestia and Luna like she always does, but then she got entranced by Celestia's remarkable storytelling. But I digress.

“Sister,” Luna said, “That was a good story, with all the little fillies telling their own stories, but why did you read it to us now?”

“The answer is simple dear sister,” Celestia said, “To teach you to NEVER EVER BREAK THE FOURTH WALL! UNDERSTAND?!”

“Yes sister,” Luna said while quivering behind her cushion.

“AND YOU TWO,” Celestia said to the other two.

They both nodded quickly after they joined Luna in hiding and quivering behind their cushions. Celestia could become really scary when it came to story time. Even I am terrified, and I am hiding off to the side. Out of sight.

“Good. Now that you know what can happen I trust that none of you will ever break the fourth wall,” Celestia said calmly, “There are only certain beings in all of Equestria that are allowed to do it. Like me.”

“What about Twilight's friend. . . Pinkie Pie,” Cadance said from behind her cushion.

“She has a permit,” Celestia said.

Now, you may be wondering to yourself what in the name of Celestia is going on. Well, I would love to tell you, but it seems I have been found. If I don't leave now this pony is going to bash my head into the keyboarljn;nhiwvWJVwdjvdvdWVwdvvdvdNJDVnjvdJBVDJBDVJNDVJBDSV;JBDSVDSVJnsgnsnbdmkmkmkkmkmlkmlmkkmklmabfvvvwBGBG G F

Ouch. That hurt. As I was trying to say. Please ignore the sounds of dragging. That is just me being dragged away by a light green human obsessed pony. She managed to find me, knock me out, wrap me in chains, and is now dragging me off to some unknown location. She keeps chanting the word 'human' over and over. It's kinda creepy. If you don't hear from me in a while make sure to call Pony Team 6! They will know what to do. This is the narrator signing off.

“Do you have any idea what that was about,” Chrysalis asked the others.

“I have no idea,” Cadance answered.

“What I do know is that story time is over,” Luna said, “See you next weekend. Byes!”

“Hey you. Yes, you. The readers,” Celestia said, “Did you ever expect it to end like this? That Lyra really is persistent when it comes to humans. Oh, darn. Sorry, I gotta go. There is a raging Pinkisaurus on the loose and I have to deal with it. Byes!”

Comments

[SmokeShadow95]

5397973 I do not have a proofreader as of yet. A friend is supposed to read it for me, but he has not gotten around to it yet.

As for the narration, it was kind of a challenge for me to write it out and i was sure someone was going to get confused. i did my best to make as simple, yet fun and understandable as possible. Also, Pinkie really doesn't say much outside of her story.

Lastly, about the one human multiple headsets. The booth area comes with spare headsets already inside. Just in case one of the headsets is broken, damaged or otherwise inopperable

[Braininthejar]

5397994

As far as "confusing" goes, the only problem seems to be the first chapter (then again, it IS a problem, as the first chapter is what sells the story to potential readers)

Ok. I'm currently writing my own stuff, but I'll try to look at the rest of your story once I run out of inspiration for tonight. Do you think you could look at mine in return? (my newest story, the only one without comments so far).

[SmokeShadow95]

5398912 Ok then. Thanks for the feedback. Ill read through it again and see what changes can be made. In all honesty a good portion of this story was written in the late of the night, or the early morning depending on how you look at things. And as for looking at your story, i do not normally read the dark gore stuff, but i might take a look at anyway.