Fourth Wall Breakdown

by SmokeShadow95

This is how it all started

It all started like a normal day. A normal bright and sunny day Ponyville. Until it happened. One simple thing. Who would have thought it could do so much damage?
Three ponies. Three young fillies were found in a small building not to far from town. When asked what happened, the traumatized fillies were only able to say one thing.

“P- p- pink. . . Too much. . .w- way too much pink.”

This is their story.

“What do you think you are doing? Hey! Mr. Narrator Guy?! You call that narrating? That isn't narrating. Let me show you narrating.”

“This is their story. A story of how one day can be ruined by a single color. A story of how single pony can be more dangerous than the Lord of Chaos. A story of three young fillies trapped in a cycle of randomness and laughter. This is the story of the color Pink, and the pony who wore it. AND SHE WORE IT PROUDLY!!!”

Pinkie Pie rushed away from her strange encounter after she so effectively tore a hole in the fourth wall. The narrator passed out from the shock. He is still on the floor. Pretty sure he is still breathing. Eh, whatever. Oh look. Another pony is coming. No, wait, there are three ponies. Three fillies to be exact. I better go before they see me. Byes!

The three fillies came up to the obvious hole in the dimensional wall and peered through. They seemed to be very interested and have little else to do. So they looked in. I recognized them the moment I saw them. My three favorite little fillies. The Cutie Mark Crusaders!

“What happened here,” Sweetie Belle asked nopony in particular.

“Isn't it obvious,” Scootaloo said, “Obviously Rainbow Dash was practicing some super awesome, super spectacular, super amazing new move. And being as awesome as she is she was going to end it in a sonic rainboom. But then she got going so fast that instead of doing just a sonic rainboom she went right through the fourth wall. WHAM! That is what happened.”

“That is so NOT what happened,” Sweetie Belle said.

“How do you know,” Scootaloo asked accusingly.

“I'm with Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said, “I don't think Rainbow Dash did this.”

“Fine,” Scootaloo said with a sigh, “Then what do you think happened?”

“I dunno,” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said in unison.

“Ooh, look,” Apple Bloom said excitedly, “Looks like there is a guy in here.”

Needless to say the three fillies were intrigued. One by one they jumped through the hole left in the middle of Ponyville. They found themselves in what appeared to be a booth of some sort. Scootaloo jumped down to the floor and poked the body of the guy laying there with her hoof.

“I think it's a human,” She said.

“Did somepony say 'human',” Lyra Heartstrings said as she poked her head into the hole.

“Hey now. Get outta here,” Apple Bloom said defensively, “This here is our break in the fabric of dimensional walls. You go and find your own.”

“Human,” Lyra questioned softly.

Apple Bloom stood at the edge of the hole and pointed a hoof away from it. Lyra head lowered and she walked off, disappointed that she could not see the human. All the sudden Sweetie Belle jumps up with Scootaloo in tow. She looked very excited and had some weird contraption on her head. She gestured at it and handed one to the other two fillies.

“Look what I found, girls,” She said with a huge smile.

“What are they,” Scootaloo asked.

“Headsets,” Sweetie Belle said, “I think the human was a narrator.”

“Cool. We should so narrate something,” Apple Bloom said.

The idea was all sorts of cool to the three young fillies. They all put on headsets and got ready to narrate. . . something. As soon as they got ready to speak, though, they realized that they were not quite sure what to say. What story should they tell? Did they really have any? Oh, yes. They did indeed have at least one story to be told.

“I got it,” Apple Bloom exclaimed with joy, “I know what story we can narrate.”

“Well spit it out,” Sweetie Belle said.

“We can all tell a story how awesome Ponyville is,” Apple Bloom said.

“And about all the awesome ponies that live here. It's perfect,” Scootaloo said, “Now are you both as ready for this as I am?”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Narrators, go!”

The three young fillies settled into three comfortable chairs that were conveniently located right there. The all raised a hoof as they shouted their signature saying. They always said it as they started a new adventure, or anything really that might help them discover their cutie marks. And like usual it was very loud and my ears still haven't stopped ringing.

And so it was set. Three young fillies. The Cutie Mark Crusaders. They would tell a story. Still not quite sure as to what it is about, but I am sure it will be good. It involved Pinkie Pie and the color pink. A lot of the color pink. In fact, I think it might have too much pink, but who am I to think these things? For all you know I am just a narrator narrating three ponies narrating in place of an unconscious narrator. But that is completely ridiculous, so it can't be true.

Or can it. . . . .

Comments

[Braininthejar]

Hmm...

Writing a good nonsensical story is harder than it seems. This is because you need to keep the reader's attention and that requires a plot of some sort, which nonsense isn't really conductive to.

So, first, do you have a proofreader? there are some typos and at least one awkward tense change mid-paragraph.

Also, the narration is confusing. Which is kind of the point of the story, but at some point it is hard to tell whether it is you talking or Pinkie.

FInally, there was one human, but enough headsets for the CMC. Is there any explanation?