Twilight loves to discover, learn, and be amazed. So when rumours spread of ancient ruins existing in Equestria, and when a letter from the Princess of the Sun herself arrives with orders to check them out, she packed her saddlebags, said goodbye to her friends, and left. What she finds baffles her: a structure made of brick. It is similar in shape to some of the houses she's seen in Equestrian, but something is different about it.
And what she discovers inside will both amaze her... and frighten her.
A/N: Cover image was taken from the Fire Emblem wikia, and I realize it is Renault. I thought it fit the story's character.
Chapters (2)
First chapter out! This is my second story, much different pace than my last one. Hope you guys like it!
Decently written so far, Having Equestria as an after the end earth. Just a couple of things that I would like to ask about. First of all is he a mage? The image looks damn like a mage. Secondly how did he survive, it's been at least a couple of thousand years? Thirdly is his type of humanity one with magic or magic+tech or just normal tech? I'm sure that these will be answered in upcoming chapters but I'm just pointing some things out that I as the reader was confused about.
I am intrigued. Can't wait to see where you go with this.
I LOVE stories with humans meeting ponies...looking forward to see the rest of the chapters to this and how the ponyfolk and Princesses will react to seeing a human...maybe they have not seen one in many moons.
perfect!! but its either he's immortal or he had an incident with inter-dimentional travelling.
455382 OBJECTION! the picture is that of a priest, not a mage, the difference (at least in fire emblem) is that the priests use staffs and mages use tomes, or something like that anyway
good start, i look forward to more.
455382 The image is of Renault, a bishop in Fire Emblem 7. Bishops use staves and light magic.
The rest of your questions will be answered in later chapters. They're something Twilight hasn't asked about yet.
First complaint- yeah, like Twilight's not going to yell the instant she hears something talking to her down there. She's many things, but stupid isn't one of them.
Also. "Meat is full of protein, a mineral humans need."
I don't even know where to begin the description of just how horribly, insanely wrong that is. The modern-day Flat Earth Society is more right than that statement.
On the other hand... your spelling and grammar are better than a lot of idiots. Other than those nitpicks, there was nothing really enormous that made me want to murder and/or downvote you. So I think I'll hold off on rating until I see some more.
456618 Gee, that made me feel so special.
I know that proteins are a broad category of amino acid sequences, Adam does not.
On the point of Twilight not yelling, did you hear her scream in Season 1 Episode 2 (part 2 of Ep1)? I don't recall her doing any such thing, at least at first. On the other hand, it would be better for the reader to simply go along with it and enjoy the story (or not, from what I'm garnering from your comment).
I would hope that readers would at least give the writer a chance to explain his reasons and mistakes before blindly issuing the "you are so dumb I'm surprised you can breathe" card. I mean, I haven't even gotten into the "main" story yet, and already people are taking things at face value. Give me a chance, please.
P.S. I'm sorry if this came off harsh. I've been dealing with setback after setback in my real life.
456997
Apologies, I assumed Conservation of Detail would mean he wouldn't mention it unless there's a good reason- namely, showing he knows it. And as for Twilight yelling, back then, there was a rather large light show advertising her position, not to mention she still didn't really get just how useful others are. Neither is true here. But fine, I'll go along with it- I didn't say I didn't want to read more.
457077 Alright, I guess I also misunderstood you. Like I said, I've been having a bad day.
This is awesome! Faved/Tracked.
Ahhh,another story from Lt. Voss,I am quite pleased to see you write another,hope it'l be another masterpiece
This is really interesting! Can not wait to read more!
Once again, Lt. Voss has me jizzing all over the place.
i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk86/HiLLtoP-Boy/THISGONBGUD.gif
more please
Second chapter out! The chapters for this story will be much shorter than the chapters for Broken Wings, as I don't know how far it'll go nor how far each point will go. It follows a different style than Broken Wings as well, so that's also a factor preventing me from making too long chapters. I need to make sure that each chapter conforms to a single point as much as possible. If a side story comes along, I'll create a new chapter for it, as I will for the next chapter (where Adam describes what and how he and Harris discovered the reasons behind Johnson's transfer). After that, it'll go back to the main storyline.
"Should I assume this... 'pee-pee nineteen' was used by the Russian people?"
I'll be surprised if I come back later and noone comments about that
Another great chapter. I love this story a bunch.
Seems interesting, tracking
MOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMAORMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOARMOAR
468179 So i geuss you want "MOAR"?
468179 I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you repeat that?
455523 Technically, that's both correct. I'll explain later.
554031 Heh, thanks. Read that aloud and decided to keep it for comedic effect.
And yeah, I need to take my time. Sorry for the excruciating wait (to my long-time readers), but this story is heavily reliant on accurate information. I'm not going to go all Call of Duty or Splinter Cell on this, and I need to know what exactly can, might, and will happen should X be done/used under Y circumstances with Z results.
559122 I'm not offended in the slightest. In fact, I'm delighted. Thanks for the praise, man!
And actually, this isn't my normal style. My normal style is write what I want to happen when I want it to happen. It's just that for this story, I'm trying to make a realistic way that humanity could have wiped itself out. See my problem now? Heh.
But I'm glad you enjoy this story! It means a lot, and I hope that later on, after I have some more stories out, I'll get one featured.
Wait he said cows why didnt twilight react to that they are sentient in the MLP universe.
750528 Probably because she trusted him enough when he told her that while he did eat meat, he wouldn't eat her. That, or it probably didn't occur to her.
P.S. Home for the weekend, out to dinner soon though. Gotta be back tomorrow (Sunday).
While I'm sure you yourself don't believe this, the fact that the main character we're supposed to feel for believes this...
i.imgur.com/BnLb6.gif
I'm out. Misanthropy just isn't my thing.
1895275 I'm sorry I've turned you away. I hope my other stories, that is if you decide to take a look at them at all, can redeem me a bit.
And it probably would have been explained later on why Adam believed such a thing had I actually had the time and fervor to write more of this story, but unfortunately I hit a brick wall. As in, literally, the second chapter (discounting the prologue) is 1,625 words long, and the total span I'd need to complete the chapter itself (unless I wanted to split it up into parts) would be an estimated 3,000 or so.
So, in short, I apologise for my loss of interest in this story. It isn't so much that I lost interest in it, it's that it took so much effort and research to complete a single chapter before long I simply didn't want to keep writing; I wasn't having anymore fun writing this story. Also, I apologise for the unexplored and unexplained misanthropy lead.
Well… I'm out. See ya later!
FINISH THIS STORY PLEASE
Finish this story or i will kill you
