While being chased by some of her enemies, Myrrthe and her Pokemon companions, a Snivy and a Tepig,end up falling into the world of Equestria,and Myrrthe was turned into a pony,for some strange reason,an alicorn. Now she must find a way out of there but unfortunately,she meets the Mane 6,and this escape becomes a series of disasters in order to obtain her Cutie Mark,due to that for some unexplained reason,she wasn't given one when she entered Equestria. Will she be able to obtain her Cutie Mark AND escape Equestria before her enemies track her down?
Chapters (3)
Great, another one.
Yeah, that's no excuse. We'll judge you based on the effort you put in the story, so far I see nothing.
4820680 Well,it's not exactly a crossover since the only Pokemon are a Snivy,a Tepig,and 6 others,but I really can't tell when is it appropriate to place the crossover tag.*sigh* Man people don't like this one...
4820707 Oh...hmm...hehe...
Well,at least it's going up a little. and so here's a dancing Mudkip. static.fjcdn.com/gifs/So_5e9e75_2459792.gif
4820669 first off you can make the chapters bigger, at least 1000+ words
For future reference, not spacing after punctuations is not considered 'personal flare' or 'personal style'. It's just terrible punctuation. (At least you didn't write it out with randomized capitalization, as one submitter did, making it unreadable. Sabotaged their own story from the start.) Plus, being able to type it out on to a screen is even less of an excuse to pre-edit than typing it out on paper (Not everyone can, or will, catch everything, but try to at least put in the effort.)
4820839 Yeah...I'm going to try and make em longer,
so here's a Falcon Puch collision.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7148266752/hDA308AD6/
4820884 I'm not so good at this,I need more practice and stuff...
Okay, I'm only liking this because the meme references made me laugh. But please, don't give up. You'll get better at writing with practice.
4820669 some of us look for more detail (see wut I did there) on the matter if it continues make sure not too be an idiot of ur self and that's putting it bluntly keep trying I'm tagging u btw get more ppl teh like this have a famed youtuber teh read ur stuff<:)
AT LEAST PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT, WHICH YOU CLEARLY DIDN'T DO!
...
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/rainbomb.gif SERIOUSLY?! EN VEZ DE AYDAR CRITICAN! YOU KNOW,I TRY MY BEST BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE SO HARSH!!
Here's something you can try that might improve your writing. Browse Fimfiction for crossover stories and sort them by rating. Read the highest rated ones and pay attention to everything that makes them so good. Story, characters, grammar, everything. The better you understand the genre your working in, the better your story will be.
4824985 Thanks
you're one of those few people that actually tells me how to improve in a way that doesn't make me look like an idiot,I really appreciate it.
4825204 No problem, happy to help.
My advice for something to work on in future chapters:
Whenever you have a comma, put in a space right after it. It just looks nicer and other people can't give you crap about it when it does happen.
I apologize for the rudeness of several people. Little do they realize that saying, 'it sucks', does not help you to become a better writer.
I like the idea of the story, and yes, you should keep going!
If this is your first try at a fic, then you're better than a few I've seen during my time on this site. I admit, you're not the best I've seen, but that means you can only get better.
4824861 u obviously have no idea wut ur criting about so shut up mind of a 2 yr dude this may be better but its not the worst its atlest above average and compared too others id say it is mostly top 100 vs. 10k of them so take that and blow ur smoke pipe (i do applogize for being curt but its the least i can do good read thow teh user who created this only not idoit on reply)
4907996 That comment-
4911641 and ur comment
4825656 clealy your not a writer since hate is what people need and right now this story is awful and will never be continued theres more hate than love
5024489
Clearly you're not a writer either, Reshkrom. A story doesn't need hate to make it better. It needs only constructive criticism, as well as a compliment or two to keep the author motivated to try their hand at it again and keep going. I'm sorry, but with your grammar skills that have been shown in the quote above, you are hardly any better than this 'Awful Story', and you haven't even written part of it. And if you think bashing on people giving constructive criticism is helping the author, then you are more of a biased fool than I ever thought was possible in the murky depths of humanity.
And just another thought: If you wish to keep this little exchange going between us, don't bother the author of this less-than-perfect story with petty notifications and head on over to my user page here on FimFiction. I'd be more than happy to educate you on higher literary mechanics.
even with the spelling errors, i still like the story so far, keep writing.
You should go back over the chapters you have already posted and edit them, to fix any mistakes that you see or that have been pointed out. If you have are having trouble with the editing process, then you should try to find someone to help you edit and proof-read it.
I love the idea behind the story by the way.
I still love the story line, could be a bit longer with more detail though.
5166732 by the way im giving this story a thumbs up and adding it to my favs, i look forward to the next chapter
hmm