Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Cheese Sandwich sighed. Normally, he wanted to be surrounded by happy ponies with goofy smiles on their faces, but not right now. It was the curse of being funny. If he were being eaten by a shark and screaming, “help! I’m being eaten by a shark!” everypony would just stand around slapping their knees and wheezing, “oh, that Cheese Sandwich, he’s such a kidder,” as the shark made a picnic of his innards. It didn’t help that his right hind leg was frantically pistoning up and down, beating an impatient tattoo on the floor, independent of the rest of his body.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, forcing himself to settle back in his chair. Relax, Cheese. They’re Pinkie’s friends. I’m sure they’ll understand how important this is. But as soon as he opened them again and looked at each of them—Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity—all with the same knowing grin on her face, he knew he had an uphill struggle on his hooves.
“Looks like somepony’s a little nervicited,” said Applejack, winking at him. “Relax, Cheese. We got this all covered.”
“Nervicited? Is that even a word?” He snorted in frustration. “Do you mean nervous? I’m not nervous.”
Rarity raised one eyebrow. She said nothing, but as she sipped her tea, she glanced at his leg, which was now performing its own soft-horseshoe routine.
“Ignore that,” said Cheese, leaning heavily on his rogue leg in an attempt to get it to stop thumping. It didn’t work. “Look, I wish you wouldn’t blow this off as some kind of ‘nervous daddy’ routine. Pickles and ice cream, nervous expectant father, har de har.” He rolled his eyes. “Those jokes are so old that even I wouldn’t eat them. How much has Pinkie told you?”
Applejack frowned. “Well, she stopped by Sweet Apple Acres . . .”
“She did what?” exclaimed Cheese, his voice zooming up an octave.
“Relax, Sunny Jim. This was last week. Said something about the doctor and you making a big old fuss and that she had to stay in bed and how bored she was gonna be.”
“She wasn’t supposed to get up then, either! I give up,” he said, throwing up his hooves. “I’m going to have to sleep in front of the door. Did she say anything else?”
“No,” said Fluttershy, shaking her head. “She brought some baked treats for Angel Bunny a few days ago, and . . . ”
Cheese reminded himself not to utter the profanity that was rising to his lips. He needed to hear what Fluttershy had to say.
“She wanted to play with all the baby animals. She said she’d be saying goodbye to them for a while and that she was going to be so bored in bed with nothing to do.” Fluttershy leaned down and gave Gummy a piece of toast, and said “eep!” as the alligator closed its toothless jaws. Cheese knew from experience that the toast would eventually become a starchy, sodden mess, but right now, he was too worried to care.
“Oh, she’s bored, all right,” said Cheese, putting his hooves to his face and drawing them down over his eyes so that the bloodshot whites were visible. “And I’m not blaming her. I’d feel the same way.”
“That must have been when she stopped by the castle to use the library,” said Twilight Sparkle, tapping her chin with her hoof. “She asked if there was anything fun to read, and I picked out some books on the science of cake-baking.”
“That must be the mammoth thing by the side of the bed she hasn’t touched,” muttered Cheese, “but go on.”
“Spike loaned her about a million of his comic books, and she asked him to put them in her saddle bags, but he said he’d carry them instead.”
“Finally!” exclaimed Cheese, waving his front legs in the air. “Thank you, Spike! Why is it that Pinkie’s youngest friend is the only one with any common sense?” Applejack furrowed her eyebrows, and Rarity sniffed, but he could tell he’d offended all of them. He couldn’t afford to do that.
“Hey!” snapped Rainbow Dash, rising into the air in indignation. “I do too have common sense! Pinkie wanted to go cannonballing into the lake and see who could make a bigger splash, and I said no! Even Wonderbolts take some time off, and she’s like the size of a moose or something. Hey, what’s with the leg?”
“Cheesy Sense,” he said, through gritted teeth. “It wants me to go and throw a party. Ignore it.”
Rarity, who had finished her tea, lowered the cup back down to the coffee table. Cheese’s leg spasms were making it rattle so badly that she changed her mind and simply kept the cup aloft. “Forgive me, but it is rather difficult to ignore that, and I should have thought it would be impossible for you to ignore.”
No kidding, thought Cheese. Making other ponies laugh and going where he was needed wasn’t a choice. It was something he simply had to do, and he was already paying a price for trying to tune out his Cheesy Sense. At the same time, he really couldn’t leave Pinkie right now.
“Cheese, you’re our friend, too,” said Twilight Sparkle. “You can tell us what’s wrong. We’ll help if we can, won’t we?” They all made different affirmative noises.
He still hesitated. Nervous daddy—party pony—they’re just going to laugh it off, he thought. But maybe they wouldn’t, and anyway, he had to try.
“I’m not just some nervous daddy. The doctor’s put Pinkie on bed rest. She’s got high blood pressure. All her legs are swollen up. She’s about this far”—he held his hooves less than an inch apart—“from gestational diabetes. And she’s big: really, really big. And she’s so little to begin with. It’s not looking all that good. And yeah, I’m terrified. It’s getting really hard to ignore being pulled away, but if none of you are going to take this seriously, then I’ll just sit here and twitch until it’s over.”
He looked up again, and saw their facial expressions. They were taking it, and him, seriously. Twilight had been right, he thought. He felt much better now that he’d admitted how scared he was.
“I know how it feels when somepony tells you something isn’t serious and not to worry,” Twilight said, nodding. “It doesn’t make you feel better at all.”
“Yeah, that’s a lesson none of us is going to forget in a hurry,” said Rainbow Dash, rolling her eyes. “About the only good thing that came out of that was that Big Mac started his doll collection.”
“Didn’t think you two planned to have foals this soon,” said Applejack. “I would’ve figured you’d want to put it off and all, not that I’m saying that’s what you should’ve done.”
Cheese flushed crimson. “Well, um . . . ‘planned’ isn’t exactly the word I’d use. Planning wasn’t really part of the picture, and um, that’s we wound up here. But I’ve really gotten to like the idea. Just not at the expense of hurting Pinkie, and this is hurting her.” He rubbed his hoof through his mane until it stood straight up.
“Maybe you should talk to Carrot Cake,” suggested Twilight. “Maybe he could reassure you that it’s safe for you to leave.”
“I have talked to Carrot,” Cheese said, absently-mindedly juggling some spoons.
“Well, then. I’m sure he told you there’s noth—”
“Carrot’s worried, too,” Cheese said, cutting her off. “Did you know Cup Cake had a really tough time? There’s a reason they didn’t have any foals after Pumpkin and Pound. Believe me, he was going out of his way not to worry me, but he and Cup Cake stopped by to visit Pinkie, and he said a lot of it reminded him of what they went through.”
He dropped the spoons: one, two, three. “Look, the doctor’s doing what he can, and he seems to know what he’s doing. The problem is that Pinkie won’t take it seriously, and she won’t stay in bed. And she really has to be in bed. We’re trying to buy her some time. Things aren’t going right. They’re happening too soon.”
“What things?” asked Twilight, perking up her ears.
“Just . . . things,” Cheese said, avoiding Twilight’s eyes. At this point, if it weren’t for Pinkie, he would have been in a full out run. He did not want to discuss this. Twilight Sparkle, however, was not to be deterred.
“I was looking this up after Pinkie stopped by the library,” she enthused. “She mentioned ‘bed rest,’ and of course I wanted to know more. I found some really good books on pony obstetrics. Maybe you’d like to see them.”
Cheese felt his eyes go wide. Even his wildly scrabbling leg froze in horror for a moment before starting up again. No, he did not want to look at a book on pony obstetrics right now. Right now, that was the last thing he needed.
Twilight went blithely on. “It mentioned some things about high-risk pregnancies and some of the symptoms, like premature lactation.” Rarity shuddered. “And that it’s sometimes an indication of—”
Cheese held his hooves over his ears. “Can you ask the doctor or Nurse Redheart about this?” he pleaded. “Or maybe you should just ask Pinkie when you talk to her, but talking to all of you about this feels weird. I don’t think I can do it.”
“Really, darling,” agreed Rarity, floating her tea cup over to another small table so that she didn’t need to keep it airborne, “that’s really not tea-time conversation, especially not in mixed company.”
“Looking after Pinkie’s been a full-time job,” he confessed. “I’ve had to close the shop, because I can’t turn my back for a minute or she’ll be out of bed. You know, until I married her, I didn’t realize how much of a farm girl she still is. Every morning, when it’s barely light out, she tries to go down to the kitchen to start baking. It’s automatic, and it’s really hard to stop her.”
“Oh,” said Applejack, nodding her head and looking Cheese square in the eye. “So that’s how it is.”
“Exactly,” he said grimly, leaning forward towards Applejack, before he was distracted by his leg again.
“Excuse me, not following this here,” said Rainbow Dash, hovering upside down—a sure indicator that she was beginning to get bored.
“Earth pony thing, Rainbow,” Applejack explained. “Pinkie wants to get up lickety-split and work. Ever notice how hard it is to tire her out? Put it that way, and I agree. I’d go plumb crazy. But listen up; mares have been dropping foals since before Celestia started raising the sun—older ‘n that, and four times as natural. It ain’t like Pinkie’s sick. She’s just pregnant. Sounds like she’s having a tough one, but Pinkie’s tough, too. I’m sure she’ll come through it OK.”
“Could you guarantee that?” he said quietly.
Applejack paused. “No,” she said slowly. “No, I couldn’t at all. Tell you what, though—I’ll get Granny to come on down and see Pinkie. She’s seen it all in her time.”
“Good,” he said. “Oh, and there’s one other thing. She’s not allowed to have sugar.”
Rainbow Dash actually landed and sat down. “Whoa. Must be tough keeping her off the cupcakes.”
“Especially since she tries to bake them every morning! I can’t stop her! Don’t even get me started on candy, ice cream, cake, pie . . . it’s pretty much everything she eats.” He dropped his head into his hooves. “I haven’t been Pinkie’s husband all that long, and I’m not even a father yet, and already I stink at it. I was on my own too long, I guess, and I never had to look after anything or anypony but myself. What made me think I could do this? I should never have . . .”
“Never have what, Cheese?” said Applejack. “Never have married her? You’d best not let Pinkie hear you say that.”
“Pinkie married you because she wanted to. She wouldn’t be better off without you. You know that’s not true,” murmured Fluttershy.
Well, it wasn’t true, thought Cheese, and he adored Pinkie, but that wasn’t the same thing as deserving her. If anything happened to her because of him, he didn’t know what he’d do. He was relieved when Twilight Sparkle levitated a pencil and a piece of paper over to herself. She’s going to make a checklist, he thought, and he felt oddly comforted by this.
“So,” she said briskly, “let’s make a list. What can we do to help?”
“Just keep an eye on her,” he said. “Keep her company, try to distract her and keep her from getting bored, and don’t let her eat sweets.”
“Tough, but simple,” said Applejack. “Can she eat apples? I’ll bring over a whole bushel next time. You know what they say—fruit is nature’s candy.”
“I’m pretty sure Pinkie would say that candy is candy, but that would probably help a lot. Thank you, Applejack.”
“I shall make a fabulous bed jacket,” Rarity announced.
Well, the bed jacket wouldn’t keep Pinkie distracted for very long, Cheese thought, but the fact that Rarity had made something for her would certainly make her happy.
“I’ll create a roster,” Twilight said. “We’ll take it in shifts to be with Pinkie. Starting tomorrow, one of us will be with Pinkie all the time. You can leave it to us.”
Considering that they’d saved all of Equestria multiple times, they ought to be able to manage to keep one mare in bed, even if that mare was Pinkie. Still—
“I feel really selfish,” he said, and the leg twitches doubled in strength.
“Well, what does Pinkie think?” said Twilight.
A soprano voice shrieked from the next room, “CHEESE SANDWICH! GET A MOVE ON! YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT TWO DAYS AGO!”
“I’M STILL DECIDING WHAT TO DO, PINKS!”
“YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!”
“THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE!”
“I think maybe we should leave,” murmured Fluttershy, and rose from her chair. “And I’ll be here after I’ve fed all my critters. Even if you decide not to go after all.”
“Yeah, get it out of your systems,” agreed Rainbow Dash. “I’ll be over after my shift tomorrow.”
“And I’ll take the night shift,” said Applejack, standing and stretching. “Pinkie’s one of my best friends, and she’s family, too; I mean, it’s practically like she’s family,” she added hurriedly, because she still tried not to flaunt the possible family connection in front of everypony else. “Nothing’s happening to her if I can help it.”
“I’ll draw up the roster and we’ll have a plan by morning,” said Twilight. “Have a good trip. We’ll do everything we can to keep Pinkie safe.”
Cheese watched them go, all of Pinkie’s friends. She was lucky to have so many ponies who cared for her, and it was sheer idiocy not to trust them. He did trust them. He just didn’t want to leave her, and that was that. There was no need for him to pack, so he simply went into the next room where Pinkie was in bed, and sat down next to her very carefully.
“Hiya, Cheesie,” she said, and smiled. “See? Nothing to worry about. I have the best friends ever.”
“I know,” he said, putting his hoof on hers. “I just don’t feel good about this.”
“Well,” Pinkie murmured, “if you really want to make me feel good, you know what you can do.” Her wide blue eyes met his. “Get me some cookies.” She batted her eyelashes.
It was almost impossible to say no to that face. If you looked “cute” up in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of Pinkie’s face looking just like that. He reached down deep, past the party bomb and the hats and the punch bowls, and came up with some willpower. “No.”
“Ice cream?”
“No.”
“Candy? Just one little piece?”
“No.”
“Aw, phooey,” said Pinkie, and pushed out her lip in a pout. “You’re no fun.”
He put his hoof under her chin and lifted her face up. “I promise. The second this is over, you can have as much sugar as you like. That’s why you can’t have it now, ok?” He gave her a peck on the lips.
“Ok,” she said, and sighed. “Where is it this time?”
“Vanhoover,” he said. “I wish it wasn’t so far away. Maybe I won’t go after all.”
She sat up much too quickly, considering that it was nearly impossible for her to bend in the middle. “No, Cheesie! You have to go.” She squeezed his hoof tightly between both of hers. “You know what happens if you try to fight it. It’s really, really bad.”
“That was different,” he pointed out. “I was really confused, and I didn’t know what I was doing. Then I had that accident in Seaddle, but I was totally fine. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Oh, no, Cheesie,” she said, shaking her head. He seldom saw such a serious expression on her face. “It was really, really bad. I was trying to bake a cake and suddenly I couldn’t feel you anymore. I thought you’d died. You almost did. Don’t you remember? Most of your magic was gone. I’m so glad you came back to me then, ‘cause you were in big trouble.”
She let go of his hoof and began to fuss with her blankets, her eyes cast down. “That can’t happen again, ok, Cheesie? ‘Cause you’re my bestest best friend in the world.”
He absolutely loved it when she said that. She looked up and smiled again. “And besides, you’re making other ponies happy for me, remember? I really need you to do that when I can’t. Make them laugh for us, ok?”
“Both of you?” he asked, and smiled.
For some reason, she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Um, yep. Will you take the train back, please? Because I know you have to go, but I do want you back really soon. Take some of the bits out of the jar.”
He nodded, but secretly he resolved to take the boxcar. It was just as quick, and she’d never know.
“Play for us, Cheesie.” She yawned. “Maybe we can get some sleep. And I think th—it likes Daddy’s accordion.”
He’d only waited to be asked. It was something he did every night now, playing Pinkie and the foal to sleep, but this time, it meant a lot more. It meant, “I love you: wait for me.”
It wasn’t really a lullaby. It was actually a love song, but he meant it for both of them: to sleep, and to dream of him. Before he’d even finished the final verse, Pinkie had snuggled back into the pillows. Her long eyelashes had fluttered shut and were casting a shadow on her cheeks, and her soft breathing told Cheese that she was asleep.
In some ways, it was easier this way. Just one kiss, and then goodbye.
He didn’t want to say “goodbye.” It made him feel uneasy, somehow, and besides, that really wasn’t what he wanted to say.
“Goodnight, beautiful,” he said, and kissed her on the top of her head: gently, so he wouldn’t wake her. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
~~
Pinkie woke some time later. Her eyes flew open. The room was dark, and Cheese must have slipped away while she was asleep. Then she felt again what had awakened her: little hooves frantically scrambling around inside, performing a wild dance on her stomach as though it were a giant rubber ball, flailing as though they were juggling.
Four little hooves.
Eight.
Twelve.
“Ouch! Hey!” she squealed, and she tapped sharply on her belly with her hoof. “Keep it down in there! Mommy’s trying to sleep!” She giggled. “Usually other ponies say stuff like that to me! Save the party for later, babies. Just wait for Daddy to get home, and Mommy and Daddy will teach you how to party, and we’ll have a super-duper good time. Just wait, ok?” Her lips quivered and a brief flicker of worry crossed her face. “Just wait,” she murmured to herself, circling her hoof on her stomach, “‘cause I’m sure he’ll get back in time. I know he’ll get back in time.” She smiled and addressed the crowd in her belly again. “Wait till your Daddy gets home, and we’ll surprise him. All four of us!”
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Hooray for Cheesy Pie!
This is beautiful.
I've never been a father -- though I'd like to be -- but I can totally sympathize with Cheese. His beloved is pregnant -- which is, literally and obviously, his fault, even though they're not sorry about it because they want children -- and he can't be with her because something important calls him away. The pregnancy looks dangerous (we know that it's because they've conceived triplets, but he doesn't know that). If anything happens to her he will never forgive himself. And there's pretty much nothing he can do about it.
That's stark drama.
This part particularly almost reduced me to tears:
Because -- though she has different speech patterns -- that is so much like my wife when I don't look out for my health, or do something dangerously stupid (like run across the street in the middle). Because that's what marriage is like when you really love each other -- you are best friends. Just like Pinkie says it.
Pinkie, you little... ugh, can't think of the proper word. Still, surprising your husband with triplets...
Ehehe, I didn't expect you to write a pregnancy fic. It's interesting to see Cheese as being so nervous over leaving her, especially since I assume that Pinkie's getting close to foaling. Really close.
Quite the touching story. I really enjoyed it and a shipfic this heartwarming deserves more attention. Much better than I could ever do with a romance tale. Keep up the good work!
I LOVE IT. PERFECT. SIMPLE. TOUCHING. EXCELLENT
That was so sweet. Great job. I think you did a wonderfully.
This was so sweet!
Amazing job as always!
Thanks, guys!
4776769 Hooray, indeed! I'm still not tired of writing about them.
4776867 Pretty much, yes, although of course she's got a little something to do with being pregnant (and everything to do with its being triplets, unfortunately.)
Yep, and nope. And of course, she herself doesn't want him to stay because he has to exercise the gift she gave him years ago. And she also doesn't really appreciate that she's in danger . I'm surprised no one's said anything about "but, Maud!" because of course Maud would be at her little sister's side if she had any idea. She doesn't. Pinkie simply hasn't mentioned it. Cheese has been wondering what's up with that, because he sees Pinkie write to Maud and the rest of her family at least once a week, if not more. But hey, what does he know about what functional families do? You notice I *still* have barely mentioned his family in these stories or the EG story?
Childbirth has got to have been nightmarish, or potentially so, before people understood anything about antisepsis. Even now, sometimes stuff goes well, and sometimes it doesn't. I had a colleague who was pregnant with twins who was in the hospital for about a month. If I remember right, her water had broken and they were trying to keep the babies safely inside her, because they were going to be really premature. Anyhoo, I've mixed some human and some equine issues here. Mares work differently from lady humans. The hypertension and diabetes are mostly people stuff. The bloating is everything. Probably even lady cuttlefish get bloating.
4777032 Surprise!
Pinkie's on the edge of giving birth too soon, in fact. It's possibly the main reason they're trying to keep her in bed. I thought it would be nice to write a fic with pregnancy in it that didn't really use most of the major story tropes. I guess Cheese is an anxious new father, but I think he would be pretty ok with it if he didn't know this wasn't looking good. Also, look, Ma! No pickles! Ice cream, sure, but it's because she wants to eat the foods she likes and isn't allowed to.
And there was another reason I wanted to write this, but my lips are sealed on that one.
4777079 Thank you! I wasn't born with the ability to write romance fic. Everyone starts somewhere. And I don't even think of myself as a romance writer, but a comedy writer! Just keep plugging away at it. You'll do fine. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!
4777513 It means a great deal to me when the artist likes the fic. Thank you.
4777646 Thank you!
4778304 I'm glad you liked it!
The cover photo itself melted my heart.
EDIT: Then I've read the story. So much feels!
4778591
We know it from the sequel that she didn't tell it to her family.
Pinkie having triplets? I'm not surprised to hear that. Nice story!
You nailed it. The recent pregnancy things I've seen popping up here weren't for naught. Well, I could tell that anyway, but still!
Everything you played here is a common thing; the nervous husband, the friends willing to help, the pregnant one with the cravings or mood swings (that yelling part got me). I may not be the most knowledgable person when it comes to pregnancies, but this is what I imagine.
Pinkie keeping it a secret/surprise for Cheese about Cheesecake Surprise, Sachertorte and Silly String? Yeowch, that's going to be some surprise right there. But knowing Cheese, he'd come around. He always does.
And man oh man is Pinkie a temptress. Those eyes and the batting the eyelashes. Yeah, she does that a lot. No cookies for you miss!
I used to ship CheesyPie, but then I found out who voiced Cheese and now I can't help but feel like I'm shipping Pinkie Pie with Weird Al.
4778591
Yes, but that's not how a father would think at this point. Especially one as obviously-protective as Cheese.
Pinkie's actually being really nice to him for a mother experiencing a difficult pregnancy. One can get hormonal mood swings, and of course there's both pain and all sorts of strange sensations; there is a tendency for the mother to think "It's all your fault" to the father, and express it. Especially during actual labor, but of course during actual labor there's a lot of pain and hence all sorts of things may get said. Or screamed.
Then again, Pinkie is really nice. In general.
Well, fraternal/sororal twinning occurs when more than one egg is released, identical when a fertilized egg divides into two zygotes. Of course, the mother can't really control any of this. I don't know that even Pinkie could control that sort of thing.
My version of Pinkie is a sororal twin; I'm guessing yours isn't. The tendency for multiple births can be partly heritable.
Indeed. The danger she's in is medical, and the best most of her friends could do would be to help take care of her and get her to the hospital / bring a doctor / midwife in time; I think that of all her friends in Ponyville, Fluttershy's the only one who probably has the skills to help directly, and that's not her specialty.
My version of Pinkie has a midwife grandmother. Though depending exactly when this is set (obviously at least a year or more after the end of Season Four, since we have to allow in time for Cheese and Pinkie to get married, consummate their love and conceive their children in some order, and she's at a fairly late stage now), Goldie might be getting too old to provide much active help. Her only canon justification, of course, is her mention in the "Giggle at the Ghosties" song, and I named her.
I'm assuming Pinkie doesn't want her family to worry. And you're right -- Pinkie's probably not enough worried herself.
Multiple births are, in a species (such as Humans or Ponies) that normally does single births inherently dangerous. Especially if the mother is small, and (given Cheese's knowledge of her, he may mean "small" in more than just the sense of "small-bodied" -- he'd know how wide was her pelvic girdle etc, though I doubt he's an expert on childbirth).
Equestria is technologically advanced in terms of medicine (the equipment shown in other eps looks like what was common in our world around 1950, while their overall tech looks more like around 1875-1900) but multiple births were quite dangerous in 1950 in our world. Indeed, it was only in the 20th century (due to antiseptics and antibiotics) that it became normal for all three or more babies in triplets or quadruplets and the mother to survive. Before then, this was rare in multiple births larger than twins.
I'm not sure what Maud could do to help a pregnant or birthing Pinkie Pie save to help take care of her or get her medical attention. Maud is smart, though, and cares about Pinkie, and hence would try to help, and would probably find some way of helping. If she knew.
Given Pinkie's normal appetite, metabolism and diet, and thinking about how her needs would shift during pregnancy (she'd especially need calcium and various other elements to actually form the babies), I could see diabetes as a problem. If she ate her normal diet, all the sugar that she normally would expend working would be accumulating in her bloodstream.
4778835
Well, the real Weird Al Yankovic is human. And married. So he probably wouldn't get involved with Pinkie Pie.
But then Cheese Sandwich isn't Weird Al Yankovic, any more than Andrea Libman is Pinkie Pie. They're just their voice actors.
Cheese Sandwich's personality is somewhat based on Weird Al's, but not precisely. Remember also that the persona of "Weird Al" is itself a stage act: Alfred Matthew Yankovic is the real person.
For that matter, the totally-frentic versions of Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie that they manifest when throwing parties -- while not an "act" the way that "Weird Al" is an act -- is only part of their personalities. They have depths of tenderness, fear, and other emotions which would not fit into being party ponies, which they display in non-party circumstances. Such as this one.
4778835 To each his or her own, but to me, that's like getting creeped out because Andrea Libman voices both Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Cheese is voiced by Weird Al, but the character isn't synonymous with Weird Al. And honestly, did you see anything Weird Al-like in the story you just read? My initial thought before I saw the episode was "that would be unpleasant, to ship a cartoon character with a real person," and if I saw them that way, I wouldn't. But I don't. I think Cheese is a lot more than that or Rule 63 Pinkie. If that's all he was, I wouldn't write them. Thank you for reading, and I hope you liked it anyway!
4778644 Thank you very much! Of course, I can't take any credit for that fabulous picture. DragonFoxGirl does some gorgeous CheesePie art. I didn't want to assume that everyone's read Triple Threat, but of course, you're right.
4778666 Pinkie can perform wonders. Also, she thinks it's funny.
4778693 Thank you! Yeah, since you saw that thread, I partly wanted to deconstruct some of those tropes. Pinkie craves some particular food? Yes, but in this case, she doesn't want some comical concoction with pickles. She wants to be able to eat sweets, something she normally chugs down. Cheese may be nervous, but he's nervous about specific things for very good reasons. There's a difference between that generic "it's not good for the baby" fluttering around and refusing to let the wife pick up a dish when there's nothing wrong with her, and being really worried over serious pregnancy complications. Cheese is concerned that based on what the doctor's said and Carrot has confirmed, there's a very real possibility that Pinkie could lose the foals, die, or both. As I mentioned to Jordan, I've seen some people I know have high-risk pregnancies, including one who spent weeks in the hospital. That's not a mood swing, by the way. It's Pinkie interjecting herself into the conversation and underlining that yes, he does too have to go. If it didn't come out that way, my bad, I guess. So I wanted to take on some pregnancy fic standards, twist them, and even make them an issue, because Pinkie's friends are initially assuming they're true.
She sure can be, can't she? Some of those looks ought to be illegal!
4779334
Eh, I dunno. I don't usually like Human / Pony romances because they are normally done so very badly by writers who are just basically doing self-insert sexual fantasies, but I see no reason why they can't be done well. In theory.
A good story with Human / Pony friendship (and enmity) is Ardashir's My Little Balladeer, in which Silver John (the human) connects emotionally with several Ponies (some in the Mane Six, and some others). Notably both John and the Ponies stay in character: John has his beloved wife back home and does not want to live in Equestria and abandon his life on Earth (he wants to get back home to her); the Ponies are not inexplicably sexually-attracted to John (though they come to like him well enough).
If a Human were stuck long-term in Equestria I think he or she would probably wind up falling for a Pony -- the Ponies are psychologically-similar enough to humans that this makes sense. I don't think it would happen rapidly, though. The two species simply have different sexual cues and signals, and it would take time for said human to learn them. One should also consider that most Human cultures do not acknowledge even the possibility of other species being sapient and regard all such relationships as "bestiality," while the Ponies are familiar with non-Pony sapient life.
The cross-species thing doesn't bother me that much. I've written five cross-species romances (or romantic friendships) into my fic -- Spike and Rarity, Discord and Celestia, Discord and Fluttershy, Fischfootur and Meatlugger, and Wind Whistler and Green-Glint. The last-named is interesting in that Green-Glint is a very alien alien -- an Elder Thing -- and the Elder Things have no concept of romance in the Pony sense (hee perceives the relationship as being the sort of close-hobby-oriented-friendship that is the basic social unit of Elder Thing society).
I come to it from a science-fictional perspective, though, and I'm very aware that I'm writing aliens when I do it. And that we can't take human norms for granted when writing aliens.
For instance (and this is one thing many writers miss), Human males are very much excited by breasts. Pony mares don't have those sorts of breasts. They have (relatively small) udders with teats, and while they're probably tender enough to be a secondary erogenous zone, it would be much more secondary for them than for Humans -- and they are carried much farther to the back of their barrels than a Human woman's breasts are on her torso. Also (and I know why male Human writers don't like to think about this), a stallion's genitalia are in proportion to his bodily size larger than a human man's in proportion to his bodily size. (I think you know what story forced me to think about this). Just to name a couple of anatomically-relevant considerations.
One can't even take all the emotions for granted, even though the Ponies are psychologically very similar to Humans in many ways. For instance, I read Equestria as being (mildly) matriarchal, and the reason as being that stallions have historically been more excitable (due to the presence of mares in estrus around them 24/7 in settlements) than mares. Well, think about all those HiE stories in which Mr. Hero yells and rants and the Ponies are impressed by his manly deciveness.
Uh-uh. We know what the Pony archetypes of admirable masculinity look like, because we've seen a couple of them -- Shining Armor and Big Mac, both of them masculine enough to attract romantic interest from Alicorns. Both are strong but gentle (Shining's moderately extroverted, and Big Mac is introverted), and neither of them is easily excitable. Why is this?
Well, because a male who rants and raves is playing into the stereotype of "stallion in rut." Pony biological and cultural evolution tells them to take anything a stallion in rut says as more serious from the point of view of the need to calm him down than its informational content. In fact, what Mr. Ranty Hero would be communicating with his tirade is "I'm just a silly stallion who can't control his emotions -- calm me down but don't take me too seriously." He's showing the attitude one would expect of an adolescent stallion -- "hysterical teenage girl" would be the human analogue. Not what he probably meant to communicate.
Little things like this are important when considering cross-species friendship, let alone romantic love.
4779311 Of course, that's more or less the way I think about them. Plus, again mostly in my version, I take some cues from the episode that he's really quite introverted and shy--still--and that some of the super-duper party pony thing is a persona. Heck, I have a public persona and I'm only a professor! It's not that professor me isn't real, but it exaggerates some things and downplays others.
Yeah, Cheese DOES think of this has "his fault" in a lot of ways, and if something goes wrong later, he'll really feel crushed.
In this particular case, Pinkie has used some of her reality-warping powers to create triplets, and of course, they're fraternal, not identical, so even I don't know how she managed that, given that she probably didn't know she was getting pregnant at the time. Or did she? I do know that she wouldn't intentionally fool Cheese and get pregnant on purpose without letting him know, but I also have a specific scenario about how this happened, so--
And she's used to doing weird physical things that would kill another pony, and she's always been fine. Unlike Rainbow Dash, she's never been in the hospital. She probably underestimated this.
Triplets are even less common among horses than among people, and that's all I'm going to say for now. But super-multiples are more common now too from infertility treatments. Twins were much more unusual when I was a kid, if I'm remembering right. [whoops--you posted again while I was writing this.]
Adorable and entirely understandable. Cheese is so used to being incomprehensible to the common pony that when he finds himself faced with a fairly common, relatable problem, he assumes they'll laugh it off as "just a party pony being a party pony." In reality, it's an equinizing moment that assures the rest of the Mane Six that there's a good stallion underneath all the party supplies and munitions. (Of course, they all know that at this point, but still.)
Given that multiple births aren't exactly common for horses (not that I know of, at least,) it's no wonder that Pinkie's having so much trouble. And why Carrot is so nervous. He may recognize some of the signs, but if so, he definitely knows better than to tell Cheese.
I have to wonder about AJ. Why she think she'd be "flaunting" the potential Apple-Pie family connection? I suppose family is improtant enough to her that she feels there would be an inherent inequality between her honorary family members and a potential blood relation, no matter how distant...
In any case, a wonderful look at a most adorable offshoot of your usual work. Thank you for it.
4779397 Possibly, but of course the issue that it wouldn't be a generic fictional human, but a real person: Weird Al. And that would weird me out, so to speak. I have a friend who ships members of Korean boy bands and soccer teams. The boy bands I can almost understand, because 80-90% of their appeal is marketing, and some of this is catering to the slashy tastes of their fans. You can see much the same thing at work in Takarazuka stars, where their public image is very rigidly controlled. Their "golden couples"--star actresses paired together in the lead male and female roles--are covered almost as though they were real couples. The actresses aren't allowed to marry, as it would "ruin the illusion." And yet woe betide them if they actually DO have a real same-sex relationship. Yet even though these "relationships" are often cynically made up and promoted, I still feel very uncomfortable about Real Person Fanfic. Once performers have given me delight in their performance, the responsibility is done. They don't owe me info about their private lives, and they're certainly not my puppet.
So if I thought of Cheese Sandwich as merely Ponified Weird Al, I wouldn't write for this ship, but I don't.
4779933
Oh, I totally see what you mean about that -- it would strike me as very strange, also, to create a character wholly based on the ponification of the stage persona of a real person. This would sort of be like writing an Equestria Girls fanfiction about someone falling in love with the Humanoid analogue of the Great and Powerful Trixie's act. A stage persona is at best (when it's created by the performer, as in the case of Weird Al or The Great And Powerful Trixie) an abstraction and perhaps falsification of their true character. It certainly won't contain the accurate intimate details that one would interact with in love or friendship.
The reason I think it's kind of creepy to ship fully-realized characters with these sorts of stage caricatures is that it sort of implies the writer (and his world) can't tell the difference between real characters and caricatures. It's sort of what young girls do with boy bands, and the reason is that they don't understand actual males, so maleness isn't really real to them in general.
It's kind of creepy because it's the prose equivalent of playing with dress-up dolls, not of exploring character in fiction.
Vacation is giving me no time to read amazing stories like this! Gah! Definitly hitting my Read Laters.
Cute! I like it.
4779334 I have nothing against cheesypie, and the comment was a joke more than anything. But being I MASSIVE weird al fan, idk it just feels kind of weird.
4779546 This is something party ponies run into a lot. In fact, it's something I run into a lot myself. I can't resist putting things in a funny way, and then people think I was kidding. Oh, well. In Cheese's case, he's got that, plus being really off the wall, plus all the stereotypical "you're just worrying about nothing." He might as well be Ricky Ricardo. I can see how it would get old.
Horses are even less well set up for multiple births than people are, as it turns out. Makes sense, when you consider how much more developed a baby horse is than a baby human. They're up on their feet the same day!
I was going off what AJ says in Pinkie Apple Pie: that she doesn't want to brag about it. Then they never mention it again, not even when Maud comes to town. Twilight probably knows, but it seemed reasonable that she mightn't mention it. My EG Applejack is quite clear that Pinkie's a cousin, and they're much more closely related.
4783440 It just seemed odd as your only comment. You said nothing about what you thought about the fic itself; just why you thought the ship was weird, which really has nothing to do with anything. Oh, well, it's not the only random comment I've ever received.
4782960 Thank you!
4781468 Well, I'm glad it's on the Read Laters! I think there's another fic that came out while you were away--probably Good Morning, Beautiful and Say Goodnight, Pinkie.
I enjoyed it immensely. I can see the effort you put into writing this one shot, and it definitely shines through as one of your best written shorts. The immersion was great with this one! Thanks for another awesome read.
Just like all of your other PinkieCheese fics, I loved this one. It was pretty fun to read and I enjoyed every moment.
I know they're not the same ponies you mention in the sequel for this story, but I got inspired by this fic and created my own characters... So I thought you'd like to see them: Here.
Once again, congratulations for such a lovely fic!
4785844 Aw, thank you! And they're so cute! I always enjoy it when Pinkie and Cheese have a pegasus foal. If you think of Surprise as an ancestor--and I do--it makes total sense.
4785875 Thank you!
And that was exactly the reason why she's a pegasus, heheh. It just seems fitting :)
4783661 That's on there too! Gah, when you're around, everything is dead, but you go away for two weeks and suddenly, everything awesome happens.
Too cute! And I love that Cheese has no idea about one being three!
I had forgotten how syrupy sweet your stories are.
*clicks upvote button endlessly*
The realization of what you were writing dawned on me like crashing into a wall of bricks. Oh...Dear...God...
10 out of 10
Oh look, my new favorite story
TRIPLETS!!!
MAKE MOAR!!!!!!!!
I am purely speechless.
You sure know how to make people feel things.
4778591
Love the story, but just as an aside about early childbirth:
It was actually less dangerous in the pre-Victorian era, and that's despite the hellacious conditions. What really caused trouble was when doctors took over childbirth; it was in an era before they understood germ theory, and CERTAINLY before they believed it. The first guy who actually proposed that doctors should, y'know, wash their hands between operations ended up getting institutionalized, because he was obviously mad.
But doctors would often end up crossing the hall from the morgue (where they'd been conducting autopsies) to the maternity ward (where they delivered babies). And couldn't for the life of them figure out why the midwives had better results with delivering living babies and mothers alike.
So they did the logical thing, and got rid of the midwives.
Frankly, with Granny on the way (and almost certainly realizing that triplets are on the way), Pinkie probably has the best odds she could possibly ask for, especially since there are presumably magical painkillers (or at least something Zecora could whip up) that have got to be a ton safer than chloroform and ether were.
5524861 It's also Biblically proven that midwives are the best at delivering. That's why pharaoh commanded that the midwives be the ones that killed the Israelites boys; see how much good that did them. I think he even tried having Egyptian midwives do the job
4887195
Ohhhhh.......OH!
D'aaaaawwwwww.....
I can't believe it! You are like, the BEST WRITER EVER! And when I say best, I mean it.
She’s not allowed to have sugar.”
´s aunt
we´re screwed.the apocalipse has finally come, pigs are learning how to fly, Satan is making his way to earth and I´m pretty sure I became a
Nice
So cute! :D
What fic comes next after this?