"The Amazeing Story of nextwipeout!"

Next runs in to some trouble with a Shadow Bolt and soon discovers that her name is Nightshade and is on a mission to stop the Manticore King. She was sent to Ponyville to gather up a small team to help her...Luna made a bad choice on the ponies she picked.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 14 )

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Snuggly

Snuggly #1 · Jun 25th, 2014 · 4 · · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

Amazeing? Manticpre? choise? Nextwipeout?

No thanks, my friend. I think I'll pass on this one.

Lord of Nothing

Lord of Nothing #2 · Jun 25th, 2014 · 1 · · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

Title:

The Amazing Story of Next the Pegasus!

Short Description:

This is the story of Next running in to a mysterious pony and going on a fantastical mission to defeat the Manticore King himself! Unfortunately, the duo might not be as competent as everyone hopes.

Long Description:

Next is just your ordinary Pegasus who runs in to some trouble with the unordinary Shadow Bolt, Nightshade. The Bolt tells her that she's out on a mission from Princess Luna herself to try and stop stop the Manticore King from ruining everything, but she must first head to Ponyville to gather a small team to aid her. Unfortunately, Next is the only one willing...
Looks like Equestria's in for a real doozy.

I don't know. I tried my best to pretty it up a little bit, but this is as far as I got. Use them or don't, whatever; I just like trying to help.

The Commander

The Commander #3 · Jun 25th, 2014 · 4 · · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

Hi! I'm nextwipeout, next for short. I live in a small nice little town called Ponyville. I play video games and stuff like that. It's not great around here but it's a good place to live at least. I just wish I was in Canterlot most of the time...they don't get as much monsters there. My house is crappy because it's a bit messy there but still cozy.
It's time to talk about how I look...I'm tired as hell right now. But really I'm a Pegasus.
I have a controller cutie mark seeing why because I play video games. My fur is black and my mane is spikey with some red and black mixed into it. I was a alicorn...how weird! I have red fur around my behind...like Princess Luna.
No I was not a prince...My bad was a Pegasus and My mom was a unicorn.
I wonder how they fell in love. Other ponies would see Pegasus and Pegasus together. Unicorn and unicorn. You guessed it...Earth pony and earth pony.
I had the weirdest moments in my live...like going in to a different world with something call a "Human".
It was really really weird. I got turned in to a mare once...that was the worst moment in my live!
Well that was my story about me...Did I tell I can break the 4th wall!?
~♦♦♣♣♠♠♥♥Needing a New Graphics Card♥♥♠♠♣♣♦♦~~

MFW reading this conglomerate of ass.

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The Producer

The Producer #4 · Jun 25th, 2014 · · · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

Call of Cutie Marks.

Even when a casual is in Poneland, he is still playing Call of Duty. DROPPED.

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This is a wholly new monument to an absolutely shitty story. I can't even decipher what the hell is going on in this story, and everyone has left our good friend spell check to live by itself so much that it's committed suicide from lack of ~~dicking~~ socialization! To put the shitstick on the top of this diarrhea-coated, dysentery-infected, triple-shit-layered cake, your fucking STRUCTURE IS LAUGHABLE. Not even pressing fucking tab but just adding in like a space? Granted, you added in a tab after a few of your... ~~shitty~~ ~~pitiful~~ ~~heretical~~ horrid transitionary lines, but that was like adding sprinkles on top of the shit cake here. It's a perfect profusion of putrid piss, and the only way for you to help it is to find someone to just go right through and enact an editorial nuclear holocaust in order to get this thing back into shipshape order.

TL;DR:

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OfficialNextwipeoutNWO

OfficialNextwipeoutNWO #5 · Jun 26th, 2014 · · 4 · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

It's not a good story because it's my first one.

OfficialNextwipeoutNWO

OfficialNextwipeoutNWO #6 · Jun 26th, 2014 · · 3 · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

Great typing from me! I know it sucks.

DuskPhoenix

DuskPhoenix #7 · Jun 26th, 2014 · · · The First Chapter: Talking About Me & Needing a New Graphics Card ·

4600144

If you think it's "great typing", why did you say it sucks? It does suck, trust me, but what is this even?

Also, "first story" is never a good reason for a fic to suck. It is a great reason to get better, but not a good reason to be content with sucking. Just work to improve, don't make excuses for your shortcomings. Own up to them, work to fix them, and get better with time.

Also, get an editor.

Luz