Two years ago Luna returned from the Wasteland to find that her home had shifted dramatically from what she remembered. Even now she attempts to find a way to transport her lost love, Sarah, to her side, but a chitinous foe seeks to tear them apart.
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Huh, so Fancy knows the secret.... Not surprised.
Ya, when Discord tells you to fuck off, YOU FUCK RIGHT THE HELL OFF!
Okay, NOW I really don't want to see Reflection/Fleur Die. Fancy Pants appears to truly love her and I don't want to see that destroyed. SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, LUNA, DISCORD, NIGHTMARE MOON, FAUST, AND WHATEVER DEITY IS IN EQUESTRIA DON'T KILL HER OFF!!!
I can totally see Reflection being very careful around Sarah... but maybe managing to get a bit of her hair to Luna through an anonymous letter so Luna can track her via magic? I can also see a scenario where Reflection proves herself to Sarah and Nim and any time she enters Sarah's mind the three of them chat and have fun... maybe Sarah replays some memories for Reflection so we can see a bit of what Nim and she was up to after Luna left the Wasteland??????
If Nim gains anymore power before Chyrsalis returns, make Discord(nim) summon Cherno Alpha from pacific rim and smash the heck out of her minions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7D7oGq5tE 1:09 in the video will show its behavior
Nim that was incredible.. using Discord to scare off Chrysalis for a wile. Thou if Chrysalis thinks that was scary just wait till Luna finds out shes holding Sarah captive i eagerly await the next chapter and i hope Reflection gets to stay with Fancy if she loves him as he does her then its proof Changlings and Ponys can live together in peace
Sarah's going to take chrysalis's bloodied body as a trophy to canterlot and start a war when she escapes, isn't she....
I love it!
Nim you clever, sexy mare! Nice work!
i would comment..... but i dont really know what to say other than..... well..... Good... job on the chapter???
(i dont know why my brain has been dead lately...)
4647967 or you pull a humanity (my headcannon) and remind him which race created enough chaos to form him. Then promptly shoot him in the face with a Magnum 500 (currently most powerful handgun in the world)
Deus Ex Discord is best Deus Ex. I suppose I should've seen it coming, since it's the only plausible way for Sarah to escape. Alas, it surprised me, but it was a good surprise. Anyways, the beginning of this chapter wasn't your best work. You didn't really build on Aurora's and Echo's relationship; you just confirmed what everyone already suspected. Of course Aurora doesn't intend for peace. Jackdaw's appearance was really the only good part of that. You showed a serious side of him that we haven't really seen. He's a great character thus far. And then three-way. You did do a great job with the middle of the chapter, however. Sarah's unease and fear felt very real, and Nim's fear for Sarah was written very well. I loved how easily Sarah was defeated with no help available. Sarah's actions felt very human; her first mistake fueled hastiness, which in turn let Chrysalis in quicker. Top notch writing. Discord's entrance was appropriately Discord-esque. There really isn't much in the way of subtlety. I can't really critique Discord's character yet, as he hasn't done anything, but I assume that he'll be sharing a glade with Nim. That should be fun. The only problem with that section was this:
Replace the comma after shocked with a hyphen, and place a comma after no. The way you have it structured now is technically an appositive, which can only contain adjective clauses.
Anyways, it seems that you're wrapping up Sarah's imprisonment, which is good. The chapter was subpar at first, but it picked up nicely in the end. All in all, this chapter gets two headmates/10.
I'm confused. Did Nim try to convince the Changelings she was Discord by telling a lie (he made them), only for it to actually be true? Or did she just make Crysalis temporarily think it was true to get her to back-off?
Please let Reflection be a good guy... Girl... Mare. Fuck it, you get what i mean. Also i hope a war doesn't break out. I don't want a character i like to run the risk of dieing.
4648136
4648140
That was just Nim pretending to be Discord
As for whether or not it's true, well that's for later.
4648186
Huh, I guess I missed that sentence. My bad.
A-FUCKING-MAZING
4648046 I very much doubt any amount or variety of non magical force would be able to phase Discord at all, this is the guy who treats the laws of physics with the level of respect a waste lander might have for a 200 year old no trespassing sign.
4648393 remember, we kind of created him with all of our wars. We can certainly phase him. Also, 40 grams of lead is not easily ignored, even by immortals!
4648484 He was able to become a moving image on a stain glass window, if his body is real enough to damage with non magical force then sure, but remember that this is a guy who can change the landscape as far as the eye can see on a whim with a snap of his claws, odds are if it can hurt him, the gun in your hands has already been turned into a pop gun and you just don't know it yet.
4648516
Guys, this is not that kind of Discord, and furthermore that wasn't actually Discord, it was Nim.
4648519 we know
4648516 but! He might feel inclined to laugh at you while you take a bead. Remember, humans are a magic black hole, so he would have a problem altering you or your gear.
4648519 I know it was not Discord, but the point of my original post stands, if you do think you are dealing with Discord, and he tells you to fuck off, the smart move is to fuck off. The rest of my posts were responding to posts responding to mine, sorry if you felt they were getting out of hand.
4648536 clearly we are reading different stories here, humans are very clearly NOT magic black holes.
4648552 I say black holes as in they are resistant. My own head cannon why is that they suck in magic directed at them. If enough energy is used (see: elements of harmony) than effects will be felt. Other than that nothing will happen.
4648622
I see this error all the fucking time:
Do you have one of these?
cf.geekdo-images.com/images/pic285117_md.jpg
No?
Then the word you want is canon.
(Sorry if this comes across as particularly harsh, I've just seen the error too many times and it pisses me off so much)
I'm surprised Nim hasn't used the giant Sarah eating Chrysalis nightmare.
4648678 heh Im the same when it comes to clip vs mag. I have seen it misused so many times in fanfics here I come off a little bitchy when i correct people
4648840
'Clip' vs 'magazine' is a bit more understandable, though, when you consider that most people who write stories with guns have no experience with guns outside of Call of Duty or Battlefield.
You know... SARAH might be in a magic-proof room... But what about Luna's sword, hmm? Wonder if she'll use that as a tracker instead...
Hoping that Luna finds Sarah soon before Chrysalis gets to her mentally
4648046 How long did you search Google to get that information? It may be classified as a handgun, but it should be a 'hand cannon' IMO.
Also, it don't matter what it shoots, a bullet is still a bullet. Just like how even a spoon can be a deadly weapon in the right hands.
4648895 I have always used 'Magazine' myself. Though, some older guns used stripper clips. Those are fun to load.
Hail Ed! Because that was probably the best-written Discord I gave ever seen, and I've read a lot of Discord fics.
That was fun. Nim is best Discord! :p
Reflection just might be the double agent we need to finally get things moving (physically) again.
Finally they're going to feed her! I'm a little surprised she isn't literally starving by now, those mental battles take more than just thought you know....
Wonder what Chrysalis will try next?
Keep going! ;)
4649222 I might have exaggerated the 40 grams but the magnum 500 is still fucking powerful. One hand fire will damage your wrist. And it's kick knocks it 90 degrees up.
4649228 clips were out dated back in WWII. Everything uses mags now.
Nim would probably do better if she took a page out of Tireks book, and siphoned off the changelings energy as they fought against Sarah.
4648536 !!!Internet fight!!!
something tells me that Fleur becoming Sarah's care taker will result in Sarah's release
Okay , raise hands, who was expecting Liberty Prime to drop from its crane for a beatdown? ^^
I was expecting a little more effective fighting from Sarah since in the Wasteland the desire to kill has to be there or you won't survive long. Though you do make a good point, Crissy's experience would top raw killing talent.
Keep it up! I'm very curious about the effect of Reflection on the story!
Hand raised, I was so expecting Liberty Prime to join in with some anti insect/communism talk. That or the MIRV. Now, this little piece with Fleur/Reflection will indeed be intriguing, keep it coming!
Awesomeness, this is too good! :D
Nicely done man, legitness!
KEEP IT UP! :D
I realm thought that you were gonna bring a deathclaw instead of discord
5718085 That would be a lot better, but Discord was more......effective.