Nightmare or Reality
A/N: This is an attempt at a sad story, so bear with me. Proofread By: FlyingEagle93. If you have a better cover art, please let me know, I wan't sure how to incorporate this into a story, so I made a quick and easy PS picture.
What is a pegasus without wings? An Earth Pony without the magic to plant the crops? A Unicorn without magic? They are nothing. Without their abilities, they don't have their pride. They don't have a sense of meaning. Without who they are, without what they were made to be, they feel that they have no purpose in this world. Without who and what they are, they feel like they mean nothing. A pegasus who's wings are the world, wings that make her amazing, wings that make her the best.
Rainbow Dash was fast asleep in her bed, but something was off. The bed didn't feel like a cloud, it was much harder and it felt like it was made of springs. It felt like it was an Earth Ponies bed. Her wings started to ache, so she rolled over onto her stomach and stretched her wings to try and rid of the ache that was in her wings. She tried to stretch them, but nothing happened. She closed her eyes tighter, concentrating harder to attempt to move her wings into an outstretched position. Still, the same feeling ensued. A feeling of empty, like they were gone. She thought to herself that there is no way that they could be gone. What she last remembers was... well, she didn't remember anything at all. Just this feeling that her wings weren't there. She started to get curious to about why this feeling didn't go away.
She opened her eyes, and the room she was in wasn't her own room. It was too dark, the smell of anesthesia lingering in the air, along with smell of sickness. The walls were a frigid white, with a solid salmon colored stripe in the middle of the wall. Sitting next to her bed was a machine that kept a constant rhythm in tune with her heartbeat. She started to panic inside her mind. There was no way for her to get her, or at least anything could remember. She had no memories of anything besides talking with Twilight about how to get the best arodynamicsizing... whatever it was, it was something that had to do with her going faster, to get her a better rush for speed.
She looked again at the heart monitor, which was now beeping at a faster pace as her heart rate had gone up when she realized that she was in the hospital. Hanging from a steel pipe at the side of her bed was a bag filled with a clear liquid of some kind. It was connected to a small drip tube that let a constant drip of the mystery medicine, assuming that's what it was. Her heart started to beat faster as she lifted her hooves to check them. Her hooves were fine, but the leg that was attached to the hoof was covered in bandages, consuming her leg up until her shoulder in a white wrap. She started to panic, maybe the feeling that her wings weren't really there... was true. Maybe... she had lost everything that made her... the greatest flier in Equestria.
She turned her head over her shoulder, hoping to see her blue wings resting at her side, hopefully just tied to her side. She had closed her eyes, not wanting to know if they were really there or not. She slowly lifted her eyelids, and in place of where her beautiful cyan wings once were, there were just stubs. Small, blue stubs wrapped in a white bandage. She looked at them with a deep fear resonating inside her body, making her shake. Her eyes began to water, and her mouth slowly drooped open as she realized that she had no wings. She had lost herself, she had lost what made her unique.
“MY WINGS!!! WHERE ARE MY WINGS?!?!” Rainbow screamed at the top of her lungs, hopping out if the hospital bed, yanking out her IV's, the blood temporarily flowing from where she had removed it, and the heart monitor stuck on a deadly beep when she removed the leads that stuck to her chest. She thrashed in the hospital room, screaming and kicking everything she could, breaking everything.
The doctor ran into the room, three nurses following close behind to help subdue the exasperated cyan mare. “Rainbow Dash! You need to calm down at once! Your not going to heal anyti –” The doctor was cut short as Rainbow had turned towards the doctor and kicked as hard as she could square in the chest, sending him across the room and into contact with the wall, knocking him out cold. The other nurses rushed to help the unconscious doctor, knowing that if they had tried to stop the mare, the same would happen to them.
“You do NOT tell me to calm down! I have lost MY WINGS for Celestia's sake!” Rainbow screamed, and then it suddenly hit her that she had bucked the doctor against the wall. She stopped dead in her tracks, she had not meant to hurt anypony, that was the last thing that she wanted to do.
She turned towards the door, hoping for an escape. She bolted through the doors, running into a cart full of food on her way out sending her tumbling on the cold tile. The pain medication was starting to wear off, she could feel it. Her wings were starting to pain her more, or at least the stubs where the wings had once been were. She picked herself up off the tile, a white hot pain shooting up her left leg. She had to keep running. No pony will ever forgive me for this, she thought. She ran down the hallway hysterically crying, patients and nurses alike peeking their heads out of the rooms to see what all of the commotion was about. Rainbow left the hospital in a full on sprint, the pain almost unbearable.
“This has got to be a dream...” she mumbled under her breath, as she headed towards the Everfree forest, the shame of what she had just done heavy on her mind.
She left a large path of destruction in her wake at the hospital, but the only sign of where she was going was a small drip trail of blood heading out of the hospitals main entrance, disappearing into the night.
Once she was in the Everfree, she continued to run. There was nothing that she could do besides to run. She had to run. Her actions were not what she had wanted to happen, she just lost control when she had found out about her wings. She had hurt somepony who was just trying to help her. Somepony who was just trying to help. Everything felt so surreal to her, it was as if this was all just a terrible nightmare. It didn't seem like it was a nightmare, the pain in her leg and her stubs felt so real. The fact the she had thought she was in a dream seemed to be its own painkiller, somehow lessening her pains and aches. She had remembered reading one time, “When you are in a dream, your thoughts are your reality, as well as your greatest fears. What you want is what your dream becomes. If you want it to be less painful, you can. Willpower can make this happen, if your mind is strong enough.”
She realized that the pain she had felt had gone away when she had wanted it to... so it had to be a dream. It just had to be. She came to a sudden stop when she saw the ravine, her hooves digging into the dirt as she came to a stop inches from the edge. She looked over, jagged rocks lining the edges, the fog concealing the endless bottom below. The night air was cool and damp, and this felt good to her. She had always enjoyed the cooler seasons when it was accompanied by humidity, and that was exactly what she had wanted.
She started mumbling to herself, “This can't be pure coincidence...” she said, “I wanted the pain gone and it went away. I wanted my favorite weather... and it came. This has to be a dream.”
She also remembered another part to what she had learned about dreams at one point, “An easy way to exit a dream is to let it take you on its path, or just die. Be careful about dying, however, your dream may actually be reality. Take care with what you choose to do.” That was it. She had found a way to finally exit this nightmare.
She had to die.
She looked over the edge of the ravine once again. It was enough to give her a hopefully quick death, ending any pain and suffering. She had to do it. She sat there, wondering if this was really reality and not a dream. She sat there and thought about her friends. Her family. All the fun she had with her wings. She realized that she would never let anything happen to her wings. She stood up from sitting on the edge of the ravine, where she had stopped so suddenly. She looked over again, thinking this was all she had to do to wake up. She stuck one hoof over the edge, and closed her eyes, rolling forward into the ravine and falling into the mist below.
She fell for what seemed like an eternity, the cool mist calming her. She was tumbling through the air, falling faster. The adrenaline came back to her, the feeling of speed in her mane coursing through her body. She once again tried to open her wings, but nothing was there. She let out a single tear, as the rocks below began to appear in the mist. She was accelerating rapidly, approaching the rocks quicker than before. She closed her eyes before the moment of impact.
It was over.
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Seemed a bit rushed at the end, and you didn't really get a chance to figure out what was going on in the beginning. Basically, she wakes up in a hospital and has no wings, so she attacks a doctor and jumps off a cliff.
P0nies wont do anything else with the story, besides we can use our imagination as to what led to the disappearance of her wings
418105 It was my attempt at a sad story, and i wanted to be a story where you decide what happened.
and then she wakes up... right?..... RIGHT???
p.s.
I think the story was too rushed.
you need to describe it longer and more..
and trust me, i know how you feel.
when you have an awesome story, and you just want to submit it now, ?
you need to hold urself back.
also, many tears were shed.
other than that, nice work
Did you make the cover art in Paint.NET?
I saw that you could've taken a RD picture, put it in a layer, created a new layer, rendered clouds, turned the opacity down, and there you go..
Did you?
418442 no, just photoshop :P i didnt know what to do, so yeah.
418507
Hmm... That's strange! I didn't even realize you wrote this! Remember, deviantART?
Haha. Small internet..
418518 oh hai :D
418356 Im not telling if she wakes up. that is up to you to decide.
418527
aww.
The description wanted me to think about "One in One Hundred"
Will read anyways
well I loved the story but at the end you could have been a little more spesific. was it a dream or reality
? I still dunno
Hey I could make a cover for you if you want.
418884 That was the point. Im not going to tell you if it is reality or not. That, my friend, is up to you.
419556 yeah if you make a cover, send it to me in a PM and if i like it, ill be sure to update it
419625
Alright. I'll work on it tomorrow.
418105 I agree but it was good nonetheless
418547 Yeah, sorry, but not really. I left it like that so you choose if it was a dream, or if it was reality. I've been wanting to make a story like this, and so i did.
419722 Thanks
So.. it's kinda like Inception.... You decide whether or not it was a dream after all.
So, you wanted my opinion. Here it is.
The opening quote feels odd. Normally I'm alright with quotes, they can set the tone when done right. But it just feels WEIRD having the main character of the story provide their own quote. And especially Rainbow Dash, who isn't exactly known for her wisdom. Maybe have Spitfire say the quote?
"reeked of anesthesia"? Does anesthesia really have that strong of a smell?
"Willpower can make this happen, if your mind is string enough." Lol. The story needs more grammatical and spelling editing. But the fact you got a proofreader is a great start.
Holy crap, I love that ending! "It was over." Does she mean the dream? Her life?! Oh, what a wonderful cliffhanger! Whatever you do, don't make a sequel or another chapter, it's a perfect ending as is!
Okay, overall, I'll start by saying this is a HUGE improvement over your previous story. That was (if I may be frank) a mess. This is... A whole lot less of a mess. The numerous grammar and spelling errors pulled me out of the moment quite a bit. The story as a whole feels a bit rushed, and lacks the build-up that would make the ending have more of an impact (pardon the pun). So, in conclusion, I thought the story was decent. I don't dislike the story and I don't like the story. I give it a "meh" (if that makes any sense).
Keep up the good work!
423684 Thanks for your opinion, I try and improve with every story.
422739 and now that i think of it, yes it is kind of like inception. but 20% cooler.
this could very easily be the starting blocks of a much longer story that I would gladly read
424559 yes it could be. But it shall not be continued. Glad you liked
Woah.... That was intense. Nice story, I like how you left it to the readers to decide what happens.
A few grammar errors here and there, but besides that, it was near perfect.
I give you a 4 out of 5.
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem, and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
...This is too sad for me to keep reading.
Just one recommendation for word choice, though; make sure you say "somepony" instead of "someone." It's proper Equestrian language.
466417 Yeah, word choice is still something I am trying to improve on. But sad is what was meant here, hence the [Sad] Tag.
466445
Yeah, but...
Just a bit too sad for me. I stopped when Rainbow Dash was running off into the forest.
I can't bear to read about her in that much pain...
That probably means something's wrong with me, but it's true nonetheless.
466452 but I do HIGHLY suggest you read until the end, because you do choose how it ends in a way. But if you don't, thats ok too. Sometimes sad is just too sad.
466462
...Baww, shucks...
You put work into this, I suppose I'll read it through.
466467 Thank you, and remember any tears shed over a story can only be good tears.
466472
...Oh. That was shorter than I thought it would be.
Hey, that was actually a kind of clever writing style.
That concept, though... I shudder to think...
466482 Well, thank you. If you are into some more sad stories, Memories and guilt are two more to read
466517
Thanks for informing me.
I think I've had enough sadness for one day, though...
I became a Brony for the happiness and cupcakes.
wasn't time to be sad
What my mind wrote after reading this:
She then woke up, with a scream, in her bed. Nothing had changed at all. The bed was soft, like always, the walls were the same, various poster (mainly of the Wonderbolts) were welded all over the room.
She panicked, worried for her wings, she flapped them a few times, they felt normal, so she folded them back.
She sat on her bed, thinking of the nightmare she just had.
Did she really want to quit her life if she lost her wings?
"Gosh, that was a weird dream i had!" She thought, pouring some water in a glass.
Then, the thought of that dream hit her like a train again...
"Would i really quit my life if i lost my wings? If i don't have my wings, i'm nothing... i would be a worthless piece of dirt. But what about my friends? What would they- Rainbow Dash, shut up. Don't think about it and get back to bed. It was only a dream." She said to herself.
She then got bed to her bed, and slept. Even if it was a little harder to relax after that bad dream.
By the way, is it normal that i screamed as soon as i finished reading "It was over"?
1052106 Its one of the many reactions I would expect of a person, and the fact that you wrote your own ending is great, and shows what you should do with vague endings like this.
Story is great as it is now. It doesn't need a forced ending. It's even a bit scary!
Poow Wainbow, what happened to your pwecious wings? 
I... simply can't tell 
If I'd be a pegasus and I'd lose my wings I don't know what I'll do... I seriously don't
1052106 Buck, I screamed too
And that ending is exactly what I pictured after reading 
Happy endings are the best endings 
you..... you... YOU BASTARDI!how can you...how can you end it... there of all places?
2153882 For one reason, my friend: the fact you create the rest of it on your own, and you are the one who picks what really happened to her. Not me.
And thanks for reading, don't really expect people to read my early works.