Afterward, Credits & Acknowledgements
Afterward
Rarity returned to Equestria. Due to the nature of the spell Discord had used to banish them, all of the ponies arrived back in their beds at the moment the last of them went through their personal portal from Earth.
That Buttercup II was defeated was never in question—this was Equestria, where Good always triumphed over Evil. Although it turned out that Rarity wasn’t the only pony to bring humans back with her, so that was interesting.
Nevertheless, I will use my perogative as author to instead tell you about the fates of the humans Rarity left behind...
Having never appointed an apprentice or successor, the fashions of the enigmatic fashionista known as “Rarity” were quickly bought up in late 1978 until nothing was left. For years afterwards, fans from around the world would visit an obscure North New Jersey circus to pay homage at a boutique that had been stripped of its fashions. Considering that the story that tied her to Studio 54 was completely unbelievable, her disappearance went alongside that of D.B. Cooper and Jimmy Hoffa in the case files of unsolved mysteries of the decade. She even got her own episode of In Search Of... in 1982.
Speaking of which, the Pagliacci Brothers Circus continued for more than two decades after Rarity’s departure. It was never the most popular circus in the Big City or New Jersey markets, but it was well-loved by those few that went out of their way to discover it. Of all of its rival circuses, it was the one that most felt like a family, no matter how many new members were added.
Julia Scarpino held the dual roles of ringmaster and horse-rider for two years, before she was forced to retire due to a hairline fracture in her left tibia from a rare fall off of Thunderbolt’s back. Afterwards, she moved behind the scenes, taking care of a growing menagerie of retired show horses, until she eventually opened the Thunderbolt Stable in 1986.
Hector the Strongman took over as ringmaster with Julia’s retirement for a six month period, to be followed by a rotating cast of charismatic individuals who took over the role, usually out-of-work stars from Broadway. During this time, the leading voices in making decisions behind the scenes rested with Julia and Antonia. And, in 1993, when Frankie Scarpino suddenly and violently returned to Earth, it was they who took on the daunting task of bringing the returned brother to the guiding philosophy put in place by Rarity fifteen years earlier.
Antonia and William continued to run the pony ride attraction at the circus, although they never again had a headliner like Rarity...or Buttercup II. They treated Piera like she was their daughter—even when it embarrassed her—and kept wishing for the day they could have a child of their own. In 1988 they came to their senses and adopted a fae orphan named Michalino. As of 2016, Michalino Martin is the current ringmaster of the Pagliacci Brothers Circus.
Piera, after earning a minor criminal record during her “punk phase”, went on to become the most popular DJ in the Big City, with a completely fictional version of her life story being made into a movie in 1998. Her secret alter ego of Siryn—typical 80’s spelling—appeared on a brief TV news clip in the background at 0:36:57.
Chuckles the Clown dropped out of the circus in 1978, on the grounds that it was becoming far too popular with people with video cameras. No certain information exists after that point—since as far as the government was concerned, he never existed—but it makes sense to assume that Siryn’s more advanced electronic gadgetry came from somewhere...
& & &
Having failed to have any significant part in the rescue of one of the two ponies that he was assigned to, Billy Alden was quite surprised to discover that a pony not on his list at all happened to work at the Big City’s last Automat. When her employer started putting up a fight, Billy called a reporter friend he knew who had just moved into the Big City. The Automat was shut down, Charlie never made more than minimum wage for the rest of his life, and Trixie got into Studio 54, where luckily it turned out that the voice-activated portal still worked.
& & &
The fate of the other Big City characters in this story began unfolding just moments after Rarity’s departure. The camera recovered by Detective Aramus Gruekin contained a videotape that led the two cops to an Otis T. Berg, a man with sizeable spending habits but no source of income, frequently seen in the same subways and train platforms where the infamous “L” was suspected of lurking. He had some traffic tickets, so it was simple to bring him in for questioning.
Otis was completely open about the fact that he worked for “L”, who’s true name he revealed to be Luthor. Gruekin and Gloomfeld let Mr. Berg go, confident that he would lead them straight to Luthor and that they’d be “captains by midnight”. Harry Gloomfeld followed Otis down into the bowels of the Big City, telling Gruekin by radio that he had the man cornered on Track 22. But alas, he had pitted wits against the Big City’s mastermind, and lost. All that was found of him afterwards was his porkpie hat, sliced in half by the wheels of the subway. Gruekin continued to serve as a police officer for another seven years, but he took an early severance during once of the city’s numerous labor disputes and retired to Passaic to watch the circus.
Luther was not content with simply taking out a nosy detective on that night when Rarity left. On learning that the reporter who had exposed his plans was taking a private helicopter cross-state to interview the President, he put yet another of his “accident plans” into effect. This one relied on a loose bolt and a runaway wire to ensnare the copter at just the right moment to send the reporter plunging to her death on the sidewalk of the Daily Planet. But this outcome was not to be—out of nowhere, a flying man in blue tights and a red cape appeared to rescue Lois Lane from her fate.
Superman had come to the Big City (or Metropolis, as it was also known), and although the date was August 12 of 1978, the decade of the 1970’s...was over.
Credits & Acknowledgements
First of all, I want to express my gratitude to the readers of this story, who stuck with it through the entire two year period it took me to write it. I had strong doubts at the beginning that anybody would want to read a story with a premise as strange as this one, but you made it quite clear that you were willing to follow this story wherever it ended up going, and for that, I thank you.
The next most important thing to get out of the way is the matter of the three real-life individuals who managed to get ensnared into this story as characters. Let me make it absolutely clear that my interpretations of the characters of Menahem Golan, Andy Warhol and Truman Capote are exactly that, my interpretations, and that I do not wish the slightest harm to the reputations of those individuals or their estates (despite the fact that Warhol’s survivors pretty clearly went against his dying wishes by declaring themselves the sole source of authority as to what an authentic “Warhol” is or not, thereby ensuring their wealth and the survival of Art with a capital “A” forevermore).
Oh, and let me make this perfectly clear: Andy Warhol and Truman Capote are not fairies. They are perfectly normal human beings just like you or me.
Oh, and to forestall the inevitable question: The reason I didn’t add Charles Nelson Reilly to the list of humans accompanying Rarity back to Equestria at the end of this story is because it would have been a disaster. If Weird Al taught me anything, it’s the fact that C.N.R. would never give up control of a cotton candy paradise once he had wrested control of it away from an evil mind-controlling pony.
OK, deep breath.
The characters of Rarity, Discord, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle, Princess Celestia, Trixie and DJ P0n-3 (aka Vinyl Scratch), and the locations of Ponyville and Equestria all come from the series My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic—the franchise was created by Bonnie Zacherle for Hasbro in 1981, developed into its 4th generation form by Lauren Faust in 2010, and currently overseen by story editor Josh Haber.
The characters of Detectives Harry and Aramus and the reporter I referred to as “Sparks Nightly” far more than as Lois Lane (for obvious reasons) were specifically taken from the movie Superman (1978), directed by Richard Donner and written by Mario Puzo and a host of others. Ray Hassett played Harry, Steve Kahan played Aramus, and Margot Kidder played Lois.
All other characters and settings are original, including the last names of those two cops. I mean, Passaic, New Jersey and New York City are real places, but having never visited either one in 1978, I doubt I got them right.
Other references by “figure” are below. And let me make this clear—I explain all of the references not because I think any of my readers are ignorant enough to miss all of them, but because the chances are great that they might learn something new about one of them. And it’s a chance to exercise my anal-retentiveness.
Figure 1: CB Radio (a Cobra 77 X, manufactured from 1977 - 78)
* Pagliacci (1892) is the opera by Ruggero Leoncavallo about a clown who isn’t very funny.
* Passaic: The city was selected pretty much at random—I just needed someplace in New Jersey within easy driving distance from Manhattan.
* “Staying Alive” (1977) is a song performed and written by the Bee Gees. The song was most famously used over the opening credits of the film Saturday Night Fever (1977), directed by John Badham and written by Norman Wexler, which is what I linked to in the chapter; this link is to the music video.
* In Search Of... (1977 - 82) was a syndicated television program created by Alan Landsberg and hosted by Leonard Nimoy. Among other subjects, the show covered UFO’s, animal ESP, and the disappearances of D.B. Cooper and Glenn Miller.
* Sanford and Son (1972 - 77) was an NBC sitcom developed by Norman Lear which was based off of the BBC sitcom of Steptoe and Son (1962 - 65, 1970 - 74), created by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson.
* My Friend Flicka (1941) was a novel by Mary O’Hara about a boy who comes of age while raising an untamable horse named Flicka. It was made into a movie in 1943, and a television series from 1956 - 57.
* William T. Cahill was Governor of New Jersey from 1970 - 74. Although he himself had a good reputation, he suffered a common fate among New Jersey governors, in that his government was riddled with corrupt staffers who were making themselves rich at the public’s expense.
* Buttercup II: The FIMFic “A Clever Pony”, by Drax99, concerns an ordinary Terran pony named Buttercup who was struck by lightning and ended up in Equestria. The daughter of this pony is entirely my creation.
* “The best damn pony a man could ever know”: The joke of bunch of hypnotized people repeating the exact same line of praise over and over again comes from the “Amazing Alexander” skit from Saturday Night Live in 1986 (“I loved it. It was much better than Cats. I’m going to see it again and again.”)
* CB Radios: For a brief period in the mid-70’s, America became infatuated with truck drivers and their use of CB radios to communicate with one another. This gave rise to two memorable (if not necessarily good) products of the decade: the song “Convoy” (1975) and the movie Smokey and the Bandit (1977).
* Chuckles: You can’t have a story set in the 1970’s without a character spouting conspiracy theories. The fact that this one is a black clown is thanks to Homey the Clown from In Living Color (1990 - 94). In a brave attempt to get into the head of such a character, I attempted to read The Illuminatus! Trilogy (1975) by Robert Shea and Robert Anson Wilson, but I just could not finish it. I will note, however, that the saner parts of that book are about an investigation by a pair of world-weary New York City cops, and the Illuminati are (of course) responsible for everything that happens in this story.
* D.B. Cooper: I pretty much cover all that is known of the case in the chapter. In 1980, a few hundred dollars of the ransom were found on the shore of the Columbia River, which I why I left that amount out of the sum that Discord snatched back in time to pay William Martin with.
Figure 2: Clipper (an Oster A5 Single-Speed Clipper, manufactured from before 1982 to present)
* In case it wasn’t clear (or the reader hails from outside the United States), this chapter is set during President’s Day weekend, wherein people willingly dress up as Washington or Lincoln to get people to buy their discounted wares, and colonial-style powdered wigs are everywhere.
* Antonia and Julia: I am trying to evoke I, Claudius here (1934 novel, 1976 BBC miniseries), as those were the names shared by several of the most conniving characters in the story.
* Thunderbolt: Flicka’s son in the inevitable sequel was named Thunderhead. I wasn’t paying too much attention, and besides, Thunderbolt is a much better name in my opinion. Also, Bob Clampett made a puppet series for TV in 1952 called Thunderbolt the Wondercolt, that surely was the inspiration for the term “Wonderbolts” in Friendship Is Magic.
* Trapped in a Chinese fortune cookie factory: TV Tropes dates the earliest use of this joke as the fortune in a fortune cookie to comedian Alan King in 1955.
* “The sailor’s itch time is twilight”: More like “the Salem witch’s name was Twilight”. So this is the point where we learn what Discord did to her. (It helps if you imagine Discord using a Cockney accent for no particular reason, so “Salem” is pronounced as “Sighlem”, and “name” is pronounced as “naime”.)
* British comedy skit: For the two people reading this unfamiliar with the Dead Parrot sketch, you have been linked.
* Bill Cosby’s Chicken Heart skit is much less well known than the Dead Parrot sketch, and that definitely needs to be rectified, so here it is. (Yes, I do know what Bill Cosby has been up to lately, so let me relay a life lesson that has been instrumental in keeping me from being miserable 24/7: you must distinguish between a person’s artistic works, and their real-life deeds and personality. My favorite entertainment has tended to come from people I otherwise despise. You cannot appreciate good comedy without listening to Bill Cosby, and you cannot appreciate good science fiction without reading Orson Scott Card, but that doesn’t mean I have to like either one of them personally. Rant over.)
* “Mine! Mine!”: Bill Cosby again. We are in the midst of the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids era here, after all (1972 - 85).
* Frankie Scarpino, the antagonist who has quite clearly sold his soul to the Devil: Ah, I am ever so fond of this trope. I personally got it from Cats Don’t Dance (1997).
* Chuckles using a card in the door to detect trespassers: Google failed me here, I’m afraid, so I can’t tell you which movie I took this from.
* Salem-Village Witchcraft: A Documentary Record of Local Conflict in Colonial New England. Written by Paul Boyer in 1972.
* Salemander: Yeah, I didn’t know that’s what a citizen of Salem was called either.
* The botched commando raid on a Cyprus Airport: This was the so-called “Battle of Larnaca”, February 19, 1978. A couple of assassins killed some important Egyptians and then hijacked a plane in a Nicosian airport, so Egyptian commandoes swept in and killed everybody. Sort of a nightmare version of Operation Entebbe in 1976.
* “Right Back Where We Started From”: 1975 song sung by Maxine Nightingale and written by Pierre Tubbs and J. Vincent Edwards. The #1 most addictive song of all time is of course the theme from I Dream of Jeannie (1965 - 70).
Figure 3: Light Bulb (a photo of a generic C9 bulb, the big Christmas tree lights)
* “Let’s All Chant”: 1977 song performed by the Michael Zager Band (and written by Mr. Zager) that surely ties “Muskrat Love” by Captain and Tennille as the single worst song of the 70’s to reach the Top Twenty charts.
* Oradell: Actual city in New Jersey, located near Passaic and having an animal hospital.
* “String of Pearls”: 1941 song performed by Glenn Miller and written by Jerry Gray and Eddie DeLange. The late 70’s and early 80’s was a time when big band music had a resurgence, with a few old styles adapted into contemporary forms: see this bizarre sequence from the 1980 film Xanadu.
* Musak (why would you click that link?): The name of a company that provided background music to companies, most commonly heard in elevators and waiting rooms. The music would frequently consist of popular tunes from a decade or more in the past with the lyrics removed, and performed by a soothing string orchestra instead of the original rock band. The company holdings are now controlled by Mood Media.
* “Now that’s what I call music!”: A roughly-quarterly compilation series of hit singles (created by Stephen Navin and Jon Webster of Virgin Records in 1983, migrated to the United States in 1998), inevitably hated by anybody who wants to proclaim their hipness. Hey, at least it isn’t Kidz Bop.
* Tramp’s: The second-most famous disco nightclub in New York City.
* Studio 54: Proof that I did in fact know where this story was going to end right from the beginning. Founded by Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager in 1977. The pair were busted for tax evasion in 1980 and the club was sold to another owner, who ran it until 1984. It’s now a playhouse. In the late 70’s, it was the site of debauchery on an unbelievable scale, as documented by Andy Warhol in his diary. Two of his friends really summed up the feel of the place in an entry from March 6, 1978: Bob Colacello: It really becomes more like pagan Rome every day. Diane Vreeland: I should hope so—isn’t that what we’re after? Here’s an article from Vanity Fair from 1996.
* Discoworld: An actual magazine covering the disco scene in the 70’s.
* Dr. James Kildare: Fictional character from a series of pulp novels written by Frederick Schiller Faust under the pen name Max Brand in the 1930’s. His adventures were adopted into a series of films in the 30’s, a radio series in the 50’s, TV series in the 60’s and 70’s, and a comic strip. In the 60’s version, he was played by a young Richard Chamberlain.
* Dr. Hartley and Mr. Carlin: Characters from the CBS sitcom The Bob Newhart Show (1972 - 78, created by David Davis and Lorenzo Music), specifically a put-upon psychologist and his neurotic patient.
* Dr. Quincy: Lead character from the NBC mystery series Quincy, M.E. (1976 - 83, created by Glen A. Larson and Lou Shaw). Quincy was a medical examiner, and hence frequently associated with “stiffs”.
* Robot Mummy: Which is at least a small step upward from a Robot Monster (1953).
* “They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast”: Quote from “Hotel California” (1977 song, with the Eagles performing and writing).
* Nash Rambler: Considered to be the first successful compact car on the American market.
* Schematics scattered everywhere: One of the traits that distinguished this decade from the ones after it, at least in my biased memory, was that all electronics were sold with their schematics—you were not only allowed to open the cover without voiding the warranty, it was expected that you’d at least try to fix anything yourself, then try a repairman, and only as a last possible resort would you throw it away to buy another one.
* “I’m a comedian, not a brain surgeon”: Insert stock quote by Dr. McCoy from the original Star Trek (1966 - 69).
* “Made in Taiwan”. In the 70’s, that meant it was halfway-decent, unlike that crap made in Japan.
* Sheeple [sheep + people]: Nobody can possibly use this term and be taken seriously.
* Watergate: Oh boy. Do I really have to cover this? Yes? Well, for a major portion of the populace, it was a huge obsession throughout the 70’s, so here’s the (highly biased) way the story would have been told at the time: The Watergate Hotel and Office Building was the headquarters of the Democratic Party in the lead-up to the 1972 Presidential Election. Now despite the fact that the Democratic candidate had made a series of devastating mistakes that made Republican President Dick Nixon’s re-election inevitable, the President still insisted on having the Watergate office bugged. (Nixon’s enemies never failed to call him “Dick” instead of “Richard”, which is why the name became so unpopular during that decade.) The individuals picked to plant the bugs were caught, and investigative journalism eventually traced the guilt all the way up to the top. As usual with these sorts of political crimes, there was a good chance that the President might have gotten away with it if he had admitted everything in the beginning and asked humbly for forgiveness, but instead it was the cover-up and the air President Nixon gave off that he was a superior being to the plebians who elected him that eventually led to his forced resignation. Vice President Ford pardoned him for his crimes, both proved and yet-to-be-proven, and as a result, Ford became one of the most mocked figures of the era. Most entertaining movie on the subject: Dick (1999).
* Texas School Book Repository: No, I draw the line here. Look up the Kennedy Assassination yourself.
* Ripping the tag off of mattresses: Another US-only joke. Thanks to a scandal in the early 20th Century, it became required for mattress makers to include a tag stating what the mattress was made out of. You know, so people wouldn’t accidentally buy mattresses made from plague rats or something. To keep these nefarious mattress makers from hiding the truth by snipping off the tag, Congress required that the tag include bold language declaring that removing the tag was illegal. Now imagine generations of kids growing up reading that tag on their mattresses, and thinking that they could be carted off to a federal penitentiary for life if they accidentally tore it off. Generations of dumb kids are the reason why Congress had to change the phrasing of that warning to say “...is not to be removed except by the consumer.”
* Tinfoil as protection from mind-reading: This particular trope dates back to a work of science fiction. No, not by L. Ron Hubbard, but by Aldous Huxley. In a 1927 short story, he had his protagonists use the decade-old invention to keep the telepathic villains from discovering their plans. Too bad that aluminum foil actually focuses electromagnetic radiation, meaning that if anything, “tinfoil hats” are themselves a plot hatched by the government to read our minds.
* “Games Tent”: The name of my very first fanfiction, published online way back in 2003, before some of you were even born. No, don’t look for it—it’s awful.
* Chuckles and aliens: I always found it amazing that the same decade that developed such a strong distrust of government was nevertheless convinced that when the aliens arrived that they would solve all of humanity’s problems, instead of revealing that they were just as messed up as we were. Of course, we know much better nowadays...
* Andy Warhol and Jimmy Carter: The first of many appearances by Andy in this story. The event actually occurred on June 14, 1977, so that was a bit of an anachronism on my part. Here’s a link to a photo—Andy looks like he’s going to drop dead of stage fright.
* The Encyclopedia of Western Gunfighters: Unfortunately for me, this book by Bill O’Neal wasn’t published until 1979, but I couldn’t find another book that would have covered the subject as extensively before this one.
* Gunfight at the O.K. Corral: I invite you to read the Wikipedia article on this one for the full story. In short, there was a gunfight in the town of Tombstone, Arizona on October 26, 1881, roughly over which of two rival groups would have control of the town: the Earps or the Clantons. The Earps won, and portrayed themselves as the side of law and order, with the Clantons portrayed as cattle rustlers.
* The blurry photograph: On the one hand, using a photo to tell the effects of time travel mucking around with history comes from Back to the Future (1985). On the other hand, the Nineteenth Century in general had a weird thing about photographing the dead, so this fits together perfectly. Also, this is Applejack’s introduction to the story, although we don’t even have a distorted version of her name yet.
Figure 4: Video Game System (an Atari 2600 from 1977)
* B&B: Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, who do in fact own the phrase “The Greatest Show on Earth”. In the 1970’s the circus was actually owned by Mattel, who as we all know are the arch-enemies of Hasbro. In 1978, the ringmasters of the two divisions of that circus were Harold Ronk and Kit Haskett. This information is utterly and completely useless as far as this story is concerned—I just like the idea of somebody being known as “Ringmaster Ronk”—he sounds like would have been an awesome rapper of the era.
* “Dancing Queen”: 1976 song performed and written by ABBA.
* Atari Video Computer System: Better known today as the Atari 2600 (1977), developed by Ted Dabney and Nolan Bushnell.
* “It was like she was built for multi-tasking”: I offer up “Art of the Dress” as my evidence on this front.
* “The Year 2019, when synthetic animals will outnumber real ones”: I am thinking here of the novel that Blade Runner (1982) was based off of, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (1968), by Philip K. Dick. A major plot point of the book was that human overpopulation had wiped out almost all animals. Meat was grown in vats and if you wanted a pet, you bought a robot dog or cat. Just as sticking Rarity in the tackiness of the 1970’s was designed by Discord to torture her sense of fashion, so is this particular setting designed to torture Fluttershy. That, and since she would be a talking pony, also put her in a considerable amount of peril. (Note: Just to make things as confusing as possible, the film was set in the year 2019, while the original edition of the book was set in 1992, changed to 2021 shortly before the author's death.)
* [Incoherent Panic]: As I make clear almost immediately afterwards, this bit was derived from the Frau Blücher joke from Young Frankenstein (1974), directed by Mel Brooks, written by Brooks and Gene Wilder.
Figure 5: Speakers (I think that was from a car stereo wiring diagram, but I couldn’t tell you which one)
* A prelude by Chopin: The song below begins with and is based on the chord progressions from the Prelude in C minor for Piano (Op. 28 No. 20) by Frédéric Chopin (1839).
* “Could It Be Magic”: A song that reached its peak popularity in 1975, performed by Barry Manilow and written by Adrienne Anderson, Manilow and Chopin (see above). The line “Sweet Antonya” was originally “Sweet Melissa”.
Figure 6: Camera (a Polaroid SX-70, introduced in 1972, but not really popular until Christmas 1977 - 1981)
* Polaroid SX-70 camera: See above—designed by Polaroid founder and CEO Dr. Edwin H. Land. An interesting feature of the self-developing film used by this camera is that by physically manipulating it during the development process, you can create unique coloring effects. Although what Rarity is doing here is strictly electrical rather than mechanical.
* Xerox copier: A photocopier manufactured by Xerox. Not really anything interesting to say about it. At least in the 1970s. Except this one is being used as a printer for Rarity’s brain.
* “Andy Warhol”: 1971 song performed and written by David Bowie. The subject of the song will be discussed in much more detail in the notes for Figure 11. But I do think that Bowie understood Warhol far better than most people.
* “Do androids dream?”: Because I thought I wasn’t being obvious enough the last time I talked about Fluttershy.
* “What’s this ‘Salem Witch Hunt’?”: You know, I find it regrettable that so few authors of time travel science fiction are willing to embrace the idea of just mucking around with history and leaving it changed at the end of the story.
* Marie Marvingt: An actual French athlete, mountaineer, aviator and journalist who died in 1963 and who most people have never heard of. What she was not was a multi-colored pony in a human body. Need to keep myself libel free here.
* Piera: At the moment I introduced her, Piera had only two purposes in the plot: to be the centerpiece of Buttercup II’s failed plan of world domination, and the person to hold Rarity’s leash when she went out and about, so she wouldn’t get in trouble. She was going to be the daughter of Hector the Strongman, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her voice. But then I had to give her thistledown hair...
* Thistledown hair: In the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell (2004) by Susanna Clarke, the villain is a fae described only as “the gentleman with thistle-down hair”. Frankie himself was sinister in a similar way while definitely being human, so Piera at that moment just naturally became his daughter from some unnamed fairy. And then fairies just sort of seeped into the whole story.
* Circusfest: There are several meetings with this name, with the best-known one in the U.K. I’m not even sure there was such a thing in 1978, but it seemed reasonable.
Figure 7: Slide Projector (a Kodak Carousel 760H, modified into an 860H, with the “R” added to the model name by the individual doing the modification)
* Kodak: Another pointless note to point out that the Kodak and Polaroid camera companies were bitter rivals, and had an epic lawsuit between them over whether Kodak was infringing Polaroid patents when they set out to make their own instant cameras after the success of the SX-70. Polaroid won the suit in 1992, but by that time everyone was buying disposable cameras with film that could be developed professionally in an hour instead of instant cameras, and in another decade both companies would be wiped out by the rise of digital cameras. Despite this fact, there is no fundamental opposition between this chapter and the one prior to it, which I really should have done if I was paying attention to which corporations I was using. Oh well.
* “Behind Blue Eyes”: 1971 song by The Who, written by Pete Townsend.
* “Forming a sort of cross between a cape and a dress”: Inspired by the FIMfic “Easy Come, Caprese Go” by heliopause, wherein Rarity casually invents a cross between a cape and a dress that soon becomes a Ponyville sensation. I had a notion that Rarity had to invent something new to justify her becoming a fashion icon of the 70’s by the end of the story. Eventually I decided that capes alone were good enough.
* Princess Hat/Hennin: One of those objects that everybody recognizes by sight without knowing what it’s actually called.
* Day-Glo Pink: In the summer of 1933, a young chemistry student named Bob Switzer suffered a fall that severed one of his optic nerves. Doctors told him that the damage would heal itself, but only if he spent the next few months in a dark room. Bob’s brother Joseph spent the time entertaining him with magic shows and telling of his dream of performing a magic show entirely in the dark, using florescent paint on the props. The problem was that florescent paint hadn’t been invented yet. So the two brothers set out to do just that. By the time that Bob’s sight had returned, they had succeeded, leading to the foundation of a company that would eventually be known as Day-Glo. That name refers to their discovery in 1944 that by mixing their florescent paints with normal paints, they were able to create colors that seemed to pop out even in daylight. The original set of colors were Signal Green, Arc Yellow, Saturn Yellow, Fire Orange, Blaze Orange, Rocket Red, Corona Magenta...and Aurora Pink. (I tried to find a good online photo of all eight colors to show you, but DayGlo colors are notoriously hard to photograph.)
* The triskelion flag: This is the flag of Sicily, should Sicily ever become a nation independent from the rest of Italy.
* “Shiftless, Shady, Jealous Kind of People”: 1972 song performed by the O’Jays and written by Gene McFadden, John Whitehead, Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff.
* The Bronze Bonelli: Inspired by the Maltese Falcon, but embedded into Sicilian history instead. In AD 1070, the Normans conquered Sicily from the Arabs who had ruled it for centuries. Joined with southern Italy, it became a kingdom in 1130. The Hohenstaufen Dynasty of the Holy Roman Empire took it over in 1194, but lost it to the Dukes of Anjou in 1266 (in both cases because the male line had either died out or had no interest in ruling it). The Normans and Hoehenstaufens had taken care to give the Sicilians autonomy and to cater to their wishes, but the Angevins treated Sicily like their personal property, which led to an insurrection known as the Sicilian Vespers in 1282. This resulted in Sicily being joined to the Kingdom of Aragon, while southern Italy (now called the Kingdom of Naples) went to the House of Anjou. Sicilians are kind of obsessed with this period in history, as it represents the closest the island came to controlling its own destiny since before the Roman conquest. Bonelli’s Eagle is a breed of bird that lives in Sicily, among other Mediterranean locations.
* The Bergen Museum of Hackensack: Let me quote the entirety of Wikipedia’s article on the Bergen Museum of Art & Science, as it seems so very “New Jersey” to me for some reason: The Bergen Museum of Art & Science is temporarily located in cyberspace while its extensive art collection valued at over one million dollars is being stored in an art warehouse in Hackensack, New Jersey, United States. The museum relocated from the Bergen Mall in 2010 is currently undergoing re-organization and is looking for a new building to contain its entire art collection, sculptures, fossils, artifacts, drawings and other items and collectibles. That’s right—a million dollar art museum was once located in a shopping mall. I couldn’t think of a more insulting place to put a Sicilian national treasure.
* “A miniature monoceros”: I hereby donate this phrase to all “purple unicorn” writers looking for the most obscure possible way of referring to a pony unicorn.
Figure 8: Portable Radio (a Panasonic Panapet R-70 from 1972)
* Boston’s first album: 1976, designed by Paula Scher, illustrated by Roger Huyssen with lettering by Gerard Huerta.
* “A complete summary of Star Wars in van form”: Here’s one.
* Star Wars (1977): Written and directed by George Lucas.
* A Princess of Mars (1917), written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, was the first volume in the John Carter of Mars series. (Oddly, I can’t find images online of vans using Frazetta’s cover to the novel, but just look at it—doesn’t it look like the stereotypical van art subject?)
* Pirates of Venus (1934), written by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the first of the Carson Napier of Venus series. (No naked women this time, but still quite “van-worthy”.)
* Frank Frazetta (1928 - 2010) was an artist best known for the covers of mass-market paperback fantasy novels, usually featuring well-muscled and barely clothed men and women. The definitive image of Conan before the Schwarzenegger film came from Frazetta.
* Patty Hearst (born 1954): The granddaughter of multi-millionaire William Randolph Hearst. In 1974, at the age of 19, she was kidnapped from the University of California at Berkeley by the SLA, a socialist terrorist group that sought to overthrow the American government for being corrupt, capitalist and racist. The group had already assassinated one school official (Oakland’s first black superintendent), and had kidnapped Hearst in order to pressure the police into releasing the two of their members who had been arrested for the assassination. After two months of rape and torture in retaliation for not getting what they wanted, Hearst announced to the world that she had joined the SLA. She subsequently helped lead a bank robbery that left two men wounded. Another bank robbery where Hearst was the getaway driver ended with the murder of a woman who got in the way. When she was finally caught and put on trial in 1976, Hearst claimed to be the victim of brainwashing, but was convicted anyway, as nobody on the jury believed that brainwashing was real. The subsequent mass suicide at Jonestown two years later made the public much more willing to believe Hearst’s defense, and her sentence was commuted by President Carter in 1979.
* Panasonic P-70 Panapet: I can’t seem to find any information on who at Panasonic was responsible for this beauty, or which year in initially came out, although signs point to 1970.
* The songs: The following were all in the Top 40 for the week of April 29, 1978. I obviously can’t confirm that they played in this order on the stations named.
* “It’s a Heartache” (1978), performed by Bonnie Tyler, written by Ronnie Scott and Steve Wolfe.
* Alka-Seltzer commercial jingle: Here’s a cringe-worthy TV spot from 1978 with Sammy Davis Jr. The song was written by Tom Dawes.
* A Meow Mix commercial from the 70’s. The song was written by Shelley Palmer and Tom McFaul.
* “Two all-beef patties” jingle: Written by Keith Reinhard and Mark Vieha in 1974.
* Chuck Leonard at WABC: The link, a bunch of song intros by Leonard recorded in 1974, is proof that you can indeed find anything on the Internet.
* “I Can’t Smile Without You” (1978), performed by Barry Manilow, written by Christian Arnold, David Martin and Geoff Morrow.
* WCBS News: Example broadcast from 1978. Although why anybody would actually click this link is beyond me...
* “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” (1977), performed by Meat Loaf, written by Jim Steinman.
* “Running on Empty” (1978), performed and written by Jackson Browne.
* A bunch of undated WJDM clips. Towards the end somebody mentions free circus tickets.
* America’s Top 40: Here’s a sample program from 1977 (part 1).
* “Disco Inferno” (1976), performed by The Trammps, written by Leroy Green and Ron Kersey.
* “Jack and Jill” (1978), performed by Raydio and written by lead singer Ray Parker, Jr.
* “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner” (1978), performed by and written by Warren Zevon.
* Crazy Eddie commercial from 1978, performed by “Dr. Jerry” Carroll.
* “Ego” (1978), performed by Elton John, written by him and Bernie Taupin.
* Dino Scarpino: Well, this is rather standard for me. If I have a Frankie [Frank Sinatra] in a story, sooner or later I’ve got to introduce a Dino [Dean Martin].
* “Dust in the Wind” (1978), performed by Kansas and written by member Kerry Livgren.
* Riker’s Island: The main jail for New York City.
* “Be a Pepper” jingle (1978), written by Jake Holmes and performed by David Naughton.
* The Larry King Show (1978 - 1994): Radio talk show syndicated by the Mutual Broadcasting System. For some reason, it’s really hard to find recordings of the show before 1982 or so. Here’s an interview with Charles Schultz from April 28, 1988.
* Muhammad Ali (1942 - 2016): Charismatic American boxer and Heavyweight Champion (1963 - 68, 1974 - 78, 1978 - 79). I could say an awful lot more about him, but I’ll leave it at that.
* “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)” (1977), written and performed by Billy Joel.
* “Thank You for Being a Friend” (1978), written and performed by Andrew Gold. The song is probably better known today as the theme from the TV show The Golden Girls (1985 - 92).
* The radio evangelist joke: Yeah, I know...easy target. Most of the really good scandals and examples of outrageous behavior were in the 80’s, but I can at least point out Billy James Hargis, founder of the Christian Crusade ministry and president of American Christian College, who was forced to resign the latter position in 1974 over a sex scandal.
* “Feels So Good”, written and performed by Chuck Mangione.
* Flugelhorn: Reference to Pinkie’s flugelhorn joke from the FIM episode “The Crystal Empire” (Part 2).
Figure 9: Headphones (1978 patent for adjustable headphones—does that mean headphones were one-size-fits-all before then?)
* Sparks Nightly: This is supposed to be a description of Margot Kidder playing Lois Lane in 1978. The giant newspaper is the Daily Planet.
* The Big Apricot: New York City has been known as “The Big Apple” since the 1920’s. In the DC Universe, Metropolis is called “The Big Apricot”.
* Sparks’ monologue: I was unable to uncover any information on Lois Lane’s official backstory prior to becoming an investigative journalist for the Planet, so I made this part up.
* President Carter: Jimmy Carter was elected president in 1976 (defeating Gerald Ford), serving through 1980 (when he was defeated by Ronald Reagan).
* Greenwich Village: The name given for the west side of Lower Manhattan, a place known for its patronage of the arts. It’s also the location of the Comedy Cellar, one of the most famous comedy clubs in the city.
* “Miss Sally”: Sparks manages to mis-name this girl using most of the female cast of Peanuts.
* Veronica Lake: Lake’s hairstyle is iconic, so it’s almost certain that giving Rarity that same style on the part of Lauren Faust was deliberate.
* Frieda: Frieda doesn’t show up that much in later Peanuts strips. She’s the redhead who’s always bragging about her naturally-curly hair.
* Violet: Another obscure Peanuts character, originally one of Charlie Brown’s chief tormenters, but eventually replaced by Lucy, who she physically resembled.
* Silver bracelets: Silver is frequently given the property of cancelling out evil magic in fantasy works. I was trying to imply that being half-fairy was an unpleasant experience for Piera, with her having the equivalent of two or three extra senses that were all on overload, and only by wearing silver can she come close to being “normal”.
* Catherine de’ Medici (1519 - 1589): Queen of France from 1547 - 1559. I’ve of course told the tale of the St. Bartholomew Day’s Massacre in another FIMfic.
* “Superstition” (1972): Song written and performed by Steve Wonder.
* Capes: With the ending revealed, I think you know exactly where I’m going with this, and why Sparks likes the red one.
Figure A: Video Cassette Recorder (page from the manual to a 1986 Sharp VC-581 VCR)
* This chapter: Would not have existed if not for reader JZ1’s persistent questions about Pinkie’s fate.
* 1985 BMW E30: The 80’s was all about the status symbols. “Greed is good,” after all.
* Yuppie: Abbreviation of “Young Urban Professional”. Basically the younger brothers of hippies.
* Thomas Bros. Guide: If you lived in a big city in the era before GPS’s, a Thomas Bros. map book was indispensable. I still use my California State book for planning out vacations, as I can flip through it faster than I can scroll Google Maps from Eureka to Carlsbad. I linked to the company’s online store—the longer you look at the site, the more obvious the desperation becomes. Nobody buys Thomas Guides anymore.
* The Cannon Group Building: 640 San Vincente Boulevard. The linked page has a particularly parking-garage-looking photo of the building.
* The Cannon Group (1967 - 1994). I learned most of what I used in this chapter from the 1986 BBC documentary The Last Moguls, which is available on YouTube. There’s also the more-recent documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story of Cannon Films (2014), which I got off of Netflix, but as that link might disappear at any moment, I wouldn’t say that it really had much that wasn’t in The Last Moguls.
* Don LaFontaine (1940 - 2008): The greatest movie trailer voice-over artist of all time. I couldn’t narrow the good YouTube clips down to one, so you can choose between this serious documentary from 2007, or “5 Men in a Limo”, a goofy short starring LaFontaine and the other biggest voice-over artists of the day that was used to introduce some obscure Hollywood awards show from 1997. (And no, there are no copies with better video quality without having crappy audio.)
* Delta Force (1986), directed by Menahem Golan. Written by Menahem Golan and James Bruner. Trailer voice-over by you-know-who.
* Chuck Norris. This is the Internet—I don’t need to tell you who Chuck Friggin’ Norris is. (Of course that’s his middle name. Do you have to question everything I type here?)
* Lee Marvin (1924 - 1987): Another tough-guy actor. Delta Force was his last performance.
* “Racist cartoonish wish-fulfilment of the lowest possible order”: That’s a direct quote in fact—the review is one of the highlights of The Last Moguls.
* Highlander (1986), directed by Russell Mulcahy, screenplay by Gregory Widen, Peter Bellwood & Larry Ferguson, from a story by Widen. Trailer voiceover by Don, song snippet at the end by Queen.
* “Princes of the Universe” (1986): written by Freddie Mercury, performed by Queen.
* Rolex: Here’s a page selling used Rolex watches...for upwards of $65,000...for a watch. Definitely not the kind to just let go of if it falls into the toilet. (Well...it was $65K in 2014. I checked the site in late 2022 and it's more like $15K.)
* A gold pocket watch. Huh, another pocket watch in one of my stories. Well in my defense, I grew up watching The Girl, the Gold Watch & Everything (1980), a movie about a pocket watch that stops time, and how an ordinary guy uses it to make his dreams come true.
* The Alden family: Captain John Alden was one of the individuals accused of witchcraft during the Salem Trials who didn’t get executed. He wrote one of the main accounts of the Trials. His family has lasted all the way to the present day. I made up all of the other Aldens in this story, so I wouldn’t have even more people coming after me for defamation of character.
* Gucci: Italian luxury brand in the realms of fashion and leather goods, founded in 1924.
* Uzi: The most popular submachine gun ever made.
* “A new age of terror requires a new breed of warrior”: From the trailer to Delta Force.
* “The adventure of a lifetime is coming to a theater near you”: From the King Solomon’s Mines (1985) trailer.
* “Charles Bronson is the one man who cannot be stopped”: From the Death Wish II (1982) trailer.
* The Live Free films: Totally made up. For once, I’ll skip past all the references in this paragraph, or we’d be here all day. Same thing goes for Matt Black and his made-up movies.
* The art of Cannon Group posters: Lifted shamelessly from this Cracked article. (Which only exists on archive.org now, so it looks kinda sucky.)
* Giorgio Armani S.p.A.: Another Italian fashion house, this one founded in 1975.
* Givenchy: This one’s French. Founded 1952.
* 1986 Word Processor: Here’s a picture of what one of these things looks like. I got through my first two years of college on one of these guys.
* Rolodex: One of the many many inventions made obsolete once people learned to use their computers.
* America 3000 (1986): Directed and written by David Engelbach. Trailer not narrated by Don LaFontaine.
* Duet For One (1986): Directed by Andrei Konchalvosky, written by Tom Kempinski. Trailer narrated by somebody more cultured than Don.
* Operation Thunderbolt (1977): Directed by Menahem Golan, written by Golan, Ken Globus & Clarke Reynolds. This was the film that put filmmakers Golan and Globus in charge of Cannon Films after it was a hit while the studio was going bankrupt. I swear I named Julia’s horse Thunderbolt before I ever picked Cannon to write a chapter around.
* Frank Langella, Jr. (born 1938): Actor best known for playing Dracula and Richard Nixon. He was the poor guy playing Skeletor in Masters of the Universe.
* Masters of the Universe (1987): Adaptation of the He-Man television series. Directed by Gary Goddard, written by David Odell. It was the commercial failures of both this film and Superman IV that doomed Cannon Films.
* Kathy Lorza: Made up casting director for Cannon.
* Betsy Ross (1752 - 1836): The woman credited with sewing America’s first flag.
* Patty Duke (1946 - 2016): Film and television actress, best known for her parts in The Miracle Worker (1962) and The Patty Duke Show (1963 - 66). She played Martha Washington in the 1984 TV movie George Washington.
* Franco Nero (born 1941): Italian tough-guy actor, best known for the part of Django (1966). He was the star of the Cannon movie Enter the Ninja (1981), although his voice was dubbed by somebody without an accent. I figured he’d make a good Pr. Chronoton.
* Joe Miller Joke Book: Joe Miller (1684 - 1738) was a popular English stage comedian. After his death, John Mottley put out a book of 247 jokes, all supposedly from Miller’s repertoire (in reality, only three jokes came from Miller). The book has been continuously in print ever since, growing larger and larger over the centuries. It finally fell out of favor in the mid-Twentieth Century (Daffy Duck fails to sell the book in a 1942 short), brought down by how very old and dull those jokes actually were. The jokes I put in Pinkie’s mouth actually came from the first edition, with the language modernized.
* Mata Hari (1876 - 1917): Famous spy from World War I. There were no female spies as overwhelmingly well-known from World War II, so Matt just tacked another three decades onto her lifespan.
* Head in a refrigerator: Oblique reference to the Women in Refrigerators website.
* The Counterfeiters (1925) by André Gide. I picked this mostly because it was the most-famous French novel of the 20’s. There was in fact a French film adaptation made in 2010.
* Hopi: A Native American tribe living in northeastern Arizona. So kind of far from Tombstone, but they’ve got a really sophisticated culture and religion, including a belief in dream-walking, so I decided to use them anyway.
* The plot synopsis of Lifeforce (1985): As Dave Barry would say, I swear I’m not making this up. Oh, and that’s an R-rated trailer I linked to—if you tried to make a trailer out of the Lifeforce footage that didn’t include a naked Mathilda May, it would only be 10 seconds long.
* Cowboys and Aliens: Sadly, it would be another 26 years before anybody would get around to making a movie with that title.
* Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989): Creator and star of I Love Lucy (1951 - 57).
* Andy Warhol in 1986: That was the year he created his Self-Portrait, his last major work before he died. (Except of course in this reality he never created it, so it must be some impostor pretending to be him.)
* Edie Sedgwick (1943 - 71): American heiress, actress and fashion model. In the mid-60’s, she became the most famous of Andy Warhol’s “superstars”, the individuals he cast in his experimental films. She died of a barbiturate/alcohol overdose.
* Flying Dogs (1987): Another film that doesn’t exist. However, what I was thinking was the Whoopi Goldberg movie Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986)...only actually good. And funny. Because that movie’s got a good idea behind it—it’s just the execution that sucks.
* King Solomon’s Mines (1985), aka Cannon’s rip-off of the Indiana Jones movies. Directed by J. Lee Thompson, written by Gene Quintano and James R. Silke. Trailer narrated by Don LaFontaine. The soundtrack by Jerry Goldsmith is actually pretty good when it’s not trying and failing to ape John Williams.
Figure 10: Air Cushion Restraint System (the one belonging to a 1974 Chevrolet Impala)
* Manhattan: I decided not to try and find a map of Metropolis for this chapter, and just assume that Metropolis is Manhattan with a different name. I found this to be the most useful map for planning everything out.
* Lincoln Tunnel: One of the main roadways connecting New Jersey with Manhattan.
* “Goin’ Out of My Head” by Gloria Gaynor (1978): Cover of a 1964 song written by Teddy Randazzo and Bobby Weinstein and originally performed by Little Anthony and the Imperials.
* Fashion District: Better known as the “Garment District”, an area in central Manhattan between Fifth Avenue and Ninth Avenue and between 34th and 42nd Streets.
* The Statue of Independence: According to my head-canon, that is the name of the statue in Manehattan’s harbor, based on the idea that the city was independent of Equestria through most of the period when Celestia ruled the kingdom alone. In this world, it refers to the Statue of Liberty, built in 1886 and designed by Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi. It’s located off the south shore of Manhattan.
* Central Park: The dominant feature of Manhattan, established in 1857, with most of the design attributed to Frederick Law Olmstead and Calvert Vaux.
* Equestrian Avenue: Sixth Avenue, officially known as “Avenue of the Americas”.
* Griffish Empire Building: My name for the Equestrian equivalent of the Empire State Building, the Midtown Manhattan skyscraper developed by William F. Lamb in 1931.
* Swoop and eyes logo: Linked in case I didn’t describe it very well.
* Coca-Cola logo tee-shirt: Here's one from 1979. The Coca-Cola Company was founded in 1886.
* Cosmopolitan: Fashion magazine for women, launched as a literary magazine in 1886 by Paul Schlicht of Schlicht & Field of New York, relaunched as a fashion magazine by Helen Gurley Brown of the Hearst Corporation in 1965. She was still editor in 1978.
* Vogue: Fashion newspaper founded by Arthur Turnure in 1892, later converted into a magazine under Condé Nast. Edited by Diana Vreeland (1963 - 71) and Grace Mirabella (1971 - 88) during the 70’s.
* Manhattan in 1978: My primary source here is NY77: The Coolest Year in Hell, a 2007 VH-1 documentary about the rise of hip hop, disco and punk music in a city that was falling apart.
* “President Ford told the city to drop dead”: And I have a New York Daily News front page to prove it. Hey, if you can’t trust the Daily News, who can you trust?
* Atlantic City: The city in New Jersey with the casinos.
* Yves Saint Laurent (1936 - 2008): The greatest fashion designer of the second half of the 20th Century.
* YSL Theater: Actually 132 W. 36th Street, if you wanted to get a look at it.
* Ford Trelaine: Original character, but with at least a little of the appearance of William Campbell, the actor who played the character Trelaine in the original Star Trek series.
* Penn Station: One of two main train stations in Manhattan, dedicated in 1910 and designed by McKim, Mead and White. The above-ground structure was demolished in 1963.
* 1976 Oldmobile Toronado: One of the few cars in the 1970s to have airbags, or rather the “Air Cushion Restraint System”.
* Checker Motors Corporation: An American auto company that made nothing but taxicabs for the Checker Taxi company. Founded by merger in 1922, went bankrupt in 2010, a victim of the Recession and of Bernie Madoff.
* World Trade Center: The largest skyscraper in New York City in 1978. Dedicated in 1973 and designed by Minoru Yamaski. Destroyed in 2001.
* Rarity’s speech calling Canterlot the center of order and Manehattan the center of chaos for Equestria: Massive head-canon on my part. The part about Canterlot seems to be backed by recent episodes: “Spice Up Your Life” has the population saddling themselves with awful restaurants simply because a pony in authority gave them her seal of approval. For Manehattan, I’m taking the part where Princess Twilight couldn’t get a cab in “Rarity Takes Manehattan” and running with it.
* Times Square: From around 1960 to 1989, Times Square truly was an awful place to visit. See the film Midnight Cowboy (1969) if you’d like to see for yourself. It was finally cleaned up under Mayors Dinkins and Giuliani.
Figure 11: Turntable (a Technics SL-1400Mk2 from 1978)
* Second-wave feminism (aka Women’s Liberation): The period from the 60’s through the early 80’s, in which women fought for the right to work outside the home, to make birth control legal, and make marital rape illegal. The only major failure of the movement was in not getting the Equal Rights Amendment passed.
* MPD: Metropolis Police Department.
* CIA: The Central Intelligence Agency of the U.S. government.
* Geneva Convention relative to the Protection of Civilian Persons in Time of War: A 1949 treaty outlining the rights of civilians during war. The term is generally used to define which actions are unacceptable under any circumstances.
* Popeye Doyle: Main character in the movie The French Connection (1971), directed by William Friedkin, screenplay by Ernest Tidyman, based on the novel of the same name by Robin Moore. The character, a short-tempered no-nonsense cop who plays by his own rules, was portrayed by Gene Hackman. Gruekin then gives away the two best parts of the movie.
* Lex Luthor: The short-tempered antagonist in the movie Superman (1978), played by Gene Hackman. Coincidence? I think not!
* The Last Automat: Description taken from this New York Magazine article by James T. Farrell. It’s from 1979, close enough to work in 1978.
* William’s argument about a truly automatic kitchen: Just a prediction of the modern workplace break room. Microwave ovens were called “radar ranges” until the early 80’s, when they finally became common in homes.
* Formica laminate is a composite of several materials, invented in 1912 by Daniel J. O’Connor and Herbert A. Faber and now manufactured by their Formica Group company.
* Futurism: Worldwide art movement of the first half of the 20th Century, founded in Milan by Filippo Tommaso Marinetti.
* “Aquarius”: Song from the musical Hair (1967), written by James Rado, Gerome Ragni & Gait MacDermot. Released as a single by the 5th Dimension in a medley with another song from the musical, “Let the Sunshine In”. I can think of no better song to represent the hopes and dreams of the hippies.
* Andy Warhol (1928 - 87) in the 70’s: Now this was a hard nut to crack. The man had almost completely retreated into himself in this period—everyone would invite him to parties, and he’d just stand there in the corner and look awkward. You’d be lucky to get one inscrutable observation out of him, and in interviews he made a deliberate effort to contradict himself. Besides the usual Wikipedia article, I found this New York Review of Books article useful (especially for informing me about the whole authenticity debate), but mostly I relied on The Andy Warhol Diaries (1989, edited by Pat Hackett)—I had to buy that one. The theory that he spent the 70’s trying to destroy Art-with-a-capital-“A” is entirely my invention, but I believe it is consistent with what I could decipher of his motives. Otherwise, I tried to be as true to his personality as possible—well, I doubt he ate Campbell’s Tomato Soup when he was depressed or went to the Automat while keeping that fact out of the Diary, but other than that...
* Campbell’s Soup Cans (1962).
* Marilyn Diptych (1962).
* Fifteen minutes of fame: Something Andy included in the program for an exhibition of his works at the Moderna Museet in Stockholm, Sweden in 1968. Andy’s lifelong fascination was with fame, and how people could become famous for doing practically anything. He thought fame was a wonderful thing, and wished that everybody would have a chance to experience it someday.
* The Factory: This was the name Andy gave to his studio. Between 1963 and 1968, it was where he made a series of experimental movies starring his friends, the “superstars”. During this same period, the building was full of the most interesting people Andy could find, 24/7. That particular party ended on June 3, 1968.
* June 3, 1968: That was the date when Valerie Solaris, one of Andy’s superstars, shot him over a missing script. He barely survived, and carried lasting physical effects of the attack for the rest of his life. Solaris claimed that she shot him because he had too much control of her life, but my reading is that, faced with the blank wall which is Andy Warhol, she projected her own ideas of repressive manhood onto him, and when he didn’t bother to disprove her beliefs, she decided to act on them. Andy had one of his few personally insightful quotes on the subject: “Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there—I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal, but actually it’s the way things happen in life that’s unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it’s like watching television—you don’t feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it’s all television.”
* Andy was lying: He was lying about a movie being the reason he was shot, not the part about it not being fun anymore. I wasn’t sure if I was clear with that sentence.
* Halston (1932 - 90): American fashion designer who was at the height of his fame in the 1970’s. He was known for his use of cashmere and ultrasuede, and later for a line of perfume.
* Calvin Klein (born 1942): Ranks with Ralph Lauren as America’s most famous fashion designer. Among the most lucrative of his products were his tight-fitting jeans, introduced in 1974.
* Ralph Lauren (born 1939): Ranks with Calvin Klein as America’s most famous fashion designer. I suppose the short-sleeve Polo shirt for both men and women is his most famous creation.
* Joseph Haydn (1732 - 1809), Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 - 91).
* Green Coca Cola Bottles (1962). Andy sort of did all of his best works in 1962.
* Andy’s silkscreening process: Here’s a webpage on the Hamilton Selway Museum website describing the technique. By the way, here’s an example of a portrait from 1976, of Paul Anka (used as the cover of his album The Painter--scroll down).
* Andy’s will: Made that part up. And even if it were true, there’s no way that The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts would ever let anyone know about it.
* Xerox PARC: The research and development company that invented modern computing. Founded in 1970.
* Andy’s 50th Birthday Party: It was on August 6, 1978. He was completely ignored at his own party by all the guests, who were more interested in talking to each other and going off to other, more interesting parties. And then two days later one of his assistants announced his intention to divorce his wife by starving her beloved cats, drowning them, and then throwing the remains into an incinerator. I should note that Andy, who didn’t seem to have any problems associating with torture-crazy dictators, was truly horrified by this revelation. And this was right after his friend Truman Capote had a meltdown on live TV and had to be sent off to a rehab clinic.
* Steve Rubell (1943 - 89): Co-owner of Studio 54. He was there every night, because he got a contact high from being around the rich and famous, and knowing they knew him by name. He’s sort of Andy Warhol’s worst impulses turned up to 11. The photo I linked is I think the perfect portrait of him, surrounded by Andy, Calvin Klein and an underage Brooke Shields. The ludicrous amounts of illegal drugs consumed on Studio 54 were either supplied by Rubell, or he turned a blind eye when somebody brought some in and started handing it around.
* “I am not the Bearer of Kindness”: One thing I’ve always found fascinating about Friendship Is Magic is how willing the bearers are to violate each other’s traits: Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have no problem with lying, to give the most obvious example.
* Billy Alden: Yes, the same character from Figure A. In reality, it was Steve Rubell who decided who got in or not.
* “The festering cow pasture known as New Jersey”: New Yorkers are known for having an exaggerated dislike of their neighbors to the east: here’s a good example.
* “I Feel Love” (1977): Written by Donna Summer, Giorgio Moroder and Pete Bellotte. Moroder is considered a pioneer in the realm of electronic dance music/hi-NRG. I’ve used his track “Chase” from Midnight Express (1978) as the theme song for my version of Vinyl Scratch in other fanfics.
* Liza Minnelli (born 1946): Probably best known for her role in Cabaret (1972). In 1978, she was on Broadway, starring in the musical The Act. She frequently skipped performances to visit Studio 54. The linked photo, taken January 10, 1978, shows her with Andy and Bianca Jagger.
* Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2011): Best known for films such as National Velvet (1944), Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) and The Taming of the Shrew (1967). The linked photo shows her with Halston at Studio 54 in February 1978.
* Bianca Jagger (born 1945): In August of 1978 she was just known as Mick Jagger’s soon-to-be ex-wife, a jet-setter, and a minor philanthropist. It wasn’t until the 80’s that she became a renowned humanitarian. Look at Liza Minnelli’s link for a photo including her and Andy.
* Debbie Harry (born 1945): Best known for her days with Blondie. The linked photo was on the occasion of the 10th anniversary of the magazine Interview, which was run by Andy. The huge image in the background is the cover of the 10th anniversary issue, with Debbie Harry as the subject. In front of that image are Jerry Hall (the woman Mick Jagger was cheating on his wife with), Andy, Debbie, Truman Capote and the youngest daughter of Pablo Picasso, Paloma Picasso.
* Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009): The King of Pop. The link is to a photo of him in Studio 54 with Woody Allen.
* Sir Elton John (born 1947): Just about at the height of his fame as a pop singer. The linked photo shows him with George Hamilton’s wife Lana and Rod Stewart.
* Grace Jones (born 1948): A supermodel who had just successfully transitioned into being a popular singer in 1978. The linked photo, taken by Andy, shows her with Steve Rubell and another model.
* Halston (again): See Elizabeth Taylor’s entry for a photo with him at Studio 54.
* Fran Lebowitz (born 1950): Essayist. Got her start writing articles for Andy’s Interview magazine. The linked photo shows her with Calvin Klein, Andy, and Steve.
* Margaret Trudeau (born 1948): There’s not much else to say about her in 1978. She was Pierre Trudeau’s wife, and she embarrassed him by partying at Studio 54 when the public thought she should be home raising their children. The linked photo shows her with Andy at Studio 54.
* The Iranian royal family: The Pahlavi dynasty, soon to be deposed in the Iranian Revolution (1979).
* Emperor Caligula (AD 12 - 41).
* Technicolor: The most-widely used process to provide color to motion picture film between 1922 and 1952. The term has generally become used to describe a scene more colorful than everyday real life.
* Candy Land: Children’s board game created by Eleanor Abbott in 1948, and currently manufactured by Hasbro. In 1996, Hasbro sued a website called candyland.com for hosting adult content—among the first lawsuits ever over a website domain name.
* Truman Capote (1924 - 84): Truman himself tells you all you need to know about him. My research on Truman consisted of watching Murder by Death (1976) and bits of his interviews with Dick Cavett and Johnny Carson. A little of him goes a long way—here’s a minute from Murder by Death. It’s odd that he and Andy were such good friends, as they are so clearly opposites of each other. There are some truly awful pictures of Truman from 1978 that I could have used, but I linked to one of the better ones—he’s in the middle, with the glasses.
* Isaac the Bartender: Character on the ABC sitcom The Love Boat (1977 - 86), played by Ted Lange. The show was inspired by the nonfiction book Love Boats by Jeraldine Saunders; the executive producer was Aaron Spelling.
* Truman’s bibliography, in order: Other Voices, Other Rooms (1948), Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1958), In Cold Blood (1965). To Kill a Mockingbird (1960) was written by Harper Lee, a childhood friend of his who became estranged after helping him research In Cold Blood.
* William Faulkner (1897 - 1962): Frequently considered to be the greatest Southern American writer of the 20th Century. Truman was a fan of his.
* Murder by Death (1976): Parody of murder mysteries written by Neil Simon and directed by Robert Moore.
* Truman’s “little story”: “La Côte Basque 1965” (1975), published in Esquire. It exposed the sordid secrets of Truman’s friends William S. Paley (president of CBS) and his wife Babe. The chapter was supposed to be part of Truman’s magnum opus, Answered Prayers, which was left unfinished at his death.
* Piera’s remix: I’m not entirely sure these songs can even be mixed together, at least not without tweaking one or more tempos. Anyway, they are “Dancing Queen” (1976) by ABBA [already covered under Figure 4], “Down to Love Town” (1977) by The Originals (written by Don Daniels, Michael B. Sutton & Kathy Wakefield), “You + Me = Love” (1977) by The Undisputed Truth (written by Norman Whitfield), and “Fantasy” (1978) by Earth, Wind & Fire (written by Maurice White, Verdine White & Eddie del Barrio). For “You + Me” let me note that the line “You plus me equals love and harmony” appears in none of the lyric sites for this song, which always write it as “equals loving, honey”, but frankly when I listen to the song, I clearly hear the former but not the latter.
* Anni-Frid Lyngstad (born 1945), Agnetha Fältskog (born 1950), Taka Boom (born 1954), Phillip Bailey (born 1951), Maurice White (1941 - 2016).
* The DJ booth at Studio 54. The linked photo shows what it looked like. That’s Diana Ross singing.
Afterward
* Jimmy Hoffa (1913 - 75): President of the Teamsters Union. After becoming involved with organized crime, he disappeared without a trace. The case has still not been definitively solved.
* Siryn: Name taken from a Marvel Comics character who debuted in 1981. She was created by Chris Claremont and Steve Leialoha. The character has many of the powers that I’ve given to Piera.
* Otis: Character played by Ned Beatty in the 1978 film.
* The 70’s was over: I’ve long considered Superman as the perfect transition between the 70’s and the 80’s. There is plenty of 70’s grittiness in the film if you look carefully: Harry and Aramus, for example, or the way Lois is always looking for the spelling of the most gruesome words to put into her stories. But the overall story is hugely optimistic and based on the notion that one individual can make a difference—hallmark traits of the 80’s.
So...do you think I went a little overboard with the links?
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Nope, I love all the links and credits you have in your stories!
Also, I'm so glad I followed this story way back when, it's been a fun ride, Poodle! ^w^
Few stories on this site have worked their way under my skin quite so effectively as this one. If Clive Barker were to write pony fiction, it might look something like this. Capturing the seventies, and I speak as a child of that misunderstood decade, is a subtle business, and you have done so with elan.
If I have anything negative to say, and really it is less a criticism than an observation, it is perhaps that so much is only alluded to. I reached the end feeling that I had read a heavily abridged version of something much larger. Applejack in the old west, Rainbow Dash as an aviatrix, Trixie's story etc.
Do please understand, this is absolutely not intended as a criticism, I get the impression from comments etc that this whole story was somewhat unexpected in it's direction and outcome. Also of course, to expand this AU would be to climb Everest naked with an anvil tied to one's back.
With the above out of the way, I think this may be one of a tiny shortlist of stories on this site that can be called essential reading, and by far the most interesting.
So erm, cheers for an excellent story.
Are you fucking serious?
Shit, I remember reading that one when it came out. Good taste, and good god your tangled web of interlocking fanfiction canon grows ever broader. I haven't crawled through the entire bibliography just yet, but I just want to let you know that no, your genius card's certification hasn't lapsed yet. For all that you worried about doing it justice, this story came out excellent from start to finish. Better than best of all possible worlds, I'm pretty sure.
Something that just occurred to me though... I've never asked before, and haven't seen it on your profile any time that I can remember, but do you have any published works? If not, do you want to have some someday?
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Published? No. I've always dreamed of having a scientific article published some day in the Journal of Irreprodicible Results, but I've only ever written one original story fit for publication ("The Lions of Ashurbanipal", back in 2003), and that was actually an anti-fanfic with the serial numbers filed off.
["Anti-fanfic": Most fanfics are designed to glorify the series that inspired them. An anti-fanfic, as I define the term, is designed to tear the source series to itty bitty pieces.]
And so, it was revealed that L, from "Death Note", was in fact a clone of Lex Luthor the whole time.
Who'd a thunk it?
"I'm a little black woman in a big silver box!" That is the only line I remember from that movie... mainly because it was the one they played for every advert for it.
But if you thought that movie was bad... try watching "Theodore Rex" sometime. I dare you. (Alondro, are you trying to kill people with bad movies again?) Ye.... no. >______>
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Darn, I'm a month late.
The impulse to give a standing ovation is real. Wonderful story. It reads like an outpouring of love through pure, delicious intertextuality. Hope you’re glad to know it’s still being read nearly eight years later, and that fimfiction still isn’t ready for stuff this awesome.