• Published 2nd Jun 2014
  • 1,703 Views, 106 Comments

Disco Inferno - McPoodle



Rarity suddenly finds herself part of the pony ride attraction in a run-down circus on Earth. She might have been able to handle this, if it wasn't also the height of the Disco Era.

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Figure 5: Speakers


Figure 5: Speakers


William Martin stood behind Chuckles’ back as he touched up his makeup after the performance. He then followed him all the way back to his trailer. Neither man said a word.

Chuckles pulled out his keys and set to work on his locks. Ten minutes later, he turned to face William, who had a fifty dollar bill outstretched in his hand. Chuckles looked at the bill as if were covered in plague bacilli.

William looked confusedly down at the bill, then back up at the clown. “That is the usual arrangement, right? Fifty to sleep on the floor as far away from your bed as possible. And an extra ten if I snore. Of course, it might be a bit more than just one night this time...”

Chuckles pushed the money back. “I’m not taking your money,” he said. He looked as if the statement physically pained him.

“Oh,” William said, his head drooping. “I understand. There’s no chance that Antonia will let me sleep in the stable, so I guess I can try sleeping behind the big top. It’s April, so I’ll probably be able to make it through the night without—”

“Will, I’m going to help you...without payment.”

William lifted his head, his mouth agape. He spent several seconds attempting to talk, but was unable to get any words out. Finally he managed to say, “Are you alright? Should I take you to a doctor?”

“No,” Chuckles said, sitting himself down on the step leading up to the door of his trailer. “No, I don’t think I am alright. I think that pony of yours did something to me. Thanks to her, I’m being treated fairly for the first time in my life. And she was the first, the very first—she could have cheated on our contract. That’s what I expected. That’s the way business is supposed to run, right?”

William attempted to answer. “Well, I—”

“That’s the way I’ve always seen it,” Chuckles said with a thousand-mile stare. “White bosses, black bosses, they’re all the same: ‘It’s just business’, and to hell with the working man or the customer. But Rarity...Rarity actually...cares. She takes everyone at their word, and then gives them more than their money’s worth. It’s madness...but it works. It worked for me, and now I’m going to do the same for you.” He ended his little speech with a piercing stare.

“Um...thanks?” William said hesitantly, still not quite sure what his friend was talking about.

Chuckles opened the door and walked inside, William following mutely behind him. “I swore I’d never take up playing again,” he said to himself. “But there’s always a first time for everything.”

He walked up to a bookshelf and started transferring paperbacks to a nearby table. After clearing nearly a foot of shelf space, he reached into the back of the bookcase and removed a thick bundle of papers bound by a large rubber band. “I kept collecting them, even after I quit. Somehow, I just knew one of them would come in handy someday.” After removing the rubber band, he handed the pile of papers to William. “Pick the one that you think will do the trick.”

William looked down at the papers. “Oh, wow, do you really think this will work?”

“If she’s got any love for you left in her heart it will. That, and we need to give her time to cool off. Which is good, because I’m betting you’re going to need all the practice you can get if you want to pull this off. Come on, we’ll work in the big top.”


“Now this, Rarity, is a picture of my eighth birthday cake. Julia not only ate most of it herself, she got my friends to lock me out of the house and talked Mom into thinking it was her birthday instead of mine! Just like she’s stolen everything else I’ve ever loved!”

Rarity sat patiently at the feet of Antonia Martin, listening while she poured out a whole litany of less and less likely accusations against her elder sister.

“You understand, don’t you?” Antonia begged her between sniffles. “You’re the only one who understands, how older sisters are all horribly evil people, and want nothing more than to crush our hopes and dreams! They’re all horrible trolls, and they need to crawl under a bridge and die!”

Rarity was sitting patiently. She was fairly confident that this was the attitude she was projecting, with her caring expression and slightly tilted head. What she didn’t know, however, was that her true feelings were being reflected via her fake plastic horn, which was flashing in annoyance, faster and faster and faster.

Antonia pulled back her hair with her hands, and gave out a quiet scream. “Of course,” she said wearily, “I know full well that Billy did all of his so-called ‘cheating’ on me before we ever met, and there isn’t a man alive that can resist Julia’s charms. But darn it, I’m still allowed to be mad at them, even if it doesn’t make any sense!” She sighed. “This isn’t good for my health, you know.”

So saying, she got up and turned on the stereo. Putting her favorite record on the turntable, she was in the act of lowering the needle when—“Do you hear that?” she asked the pony.

Rarity’s ears swiveled as they picked up the faint sound of a piano playing classical music. She nodded.

“Where is that coming from?” Antonia asked, putting the phonograph needle back in its resting position. She put her head next to the speakers, and fiddled with the controls, to no effect.

Rarity gently grabbed one of Antonia’s pant legs in her mouth, and tugged towards the door of the trailer.

The music definitely became louder once the door was opened. It was a prelude by Chopin they were hearing, and not a recording, because just then there was a missed note and some faint swearing, followed by a familiar voice saying, “Go on, go on!”

Antonia sighed and looked down at Rarity. “I should just turn around and go to bed,” she said.

Instead, Rarity pushed her forward. Her horn flashed slowly, first bright, then dim, then bright, then dim again, in the rhythm of exhortation.

They rounded the corner of the trailer to see the large open area in front of the pony stable, illuminated by a single spotlight. Chuckles was there, sitting on a stool and playing an upright piano. Standing next to the piano was William, wearing an ill-fitting tuxedo and clutching a few sheets of paper like his life depended on it. On seeing Antonia, he began to sing.

Sweet Antonya, angel of my lifetime, Answer to all answers I can find...

It turned out that William’s singing ability was about on par with Antonia’s dancing ability. But it didn’t matter. The intensity and desperation of her husband appealing for her forgiveness washed over her.

Could it be magic? Come, come, come into my arms. Let me know the wonder of all of you. And baby, I want you...

Rarity, watching this, had a near-beatific expression. Her horn glowed, whiter and whiter, but never bright enough to be blinding. Under its light, the sharp plastic edges of the lamp screwed into her head softened and re-shaped from an obvious toy horn into what could honestly be mistaken for a miniature unicorn’s horn.

Until she was suddenly brought back to reality. “Shut up!” screamed the three-pack a day voice of Lilly the Snake Lady from her neighboring trailer. “I’m trying to get my beauty sleep!

You sing like a flatulent cow!” exclaimed Hector the Strongman from his bed.

William whimpered.

“SHUT UP!” Antonia bellowed to the hecklers. “Don’t you have a romantic bone in your body?! It’s a pop ballad, for Christ sake—you only have to put up with it for four lousy minutes!”

The lights in all of the surroundings trailers went out, as their inhabitants covered their heads with pillows and prepared to weather out the acoustical storm.

“Pumpkin?” William asked meekly.

“Did I give you permission to stop singing?!”

C...could this be the m...magic, at last?

& & &

After the song ended—which turned out to be quite a bit longer than four minutes—a forgiving Antonia held out her hand. William handed his pile of lyrics back to Chuckles, then took Antonia’s hand as they both started back for their trailer.

Chuckles nodded at a job well done, and then started to push the piano back to the big top.

Rarity followed the couple, tears of happiness in her eyes.

...simply have to tell the girls about this when I get back. Oh, it was so beautiful!

Husband and wife were so absorbed in each other’s eyes that they didn’t even notice the voice that appeared to be growing in volume, coming from their living room. They stood there in the doorway for what seemed like hours.

Finally, Antonia looked down at Rarity. “You should go to bed,” she said gently.

I should go to bed,” said the lady’s voice from the stereo speakers at the same moment.

Rarity nodded with a smile, and began to walk back to the stable.

Wait, was that...?” asked the fading voice in the speaker. “No, it couldn’t be...