- Member Since 7th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 20th, 2023
pvtread
Brony since 2011, and huge fan of FOE. Also founder of Suicide prevention group.
pvtread
Joined 7th Mar, 2012 ·
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Before you judge this; know this. It just came to me, so I typed; if you don't like the subject matter, that is fine; but do be considerate and save the dislike button for those who really dislike it. The story will be on going; seeing as the ideas keep flowing. Also; if you think this is just another generic slash-fic/needles gore-fic; you will be surprised by the ending. The eyes can never truly see what the mind does.
That awkward moment when the author can't spell the title of his own story.
Also, don't delete comments without a DAMN good reason. People will not want to read your story and/or will be a lot harsher.
I wasn't the one who deleted the comment ok.
s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/semicolon/why.png
Feed back is appreciated; be it good or bad. Please don`t be shy about it. I wish to get progresily better at what I do; so if you have something to say to help me improve upon myself, please say so. I do this for my enjoyment; and only wish to get better.
*progresivly* Dumb xbox keybord set up lol.
4426280 You should get an editor. I don't mean this maliciously (hell, pretty much all of the best writers on here get several people to pre-read and edit what they write), but your technical command of the language is a real barrier to connecting properly with the story. The idea seems solid, and that is the greatest challenge in writing fan fiction, so there's a fair amount of promise here. If you write with a forceful editor then your stories will get a more useful reception and you will also find your own technical abilities improving rapidly. It's great that you're here to continually improve your writing, and I feel bound to tell you that that is honestly the best first step you could make from here.
There are some fantastic guys who do editing on this site, as well. Good luck and happy writing!
Look people; don`t thumb down comments please. I take them all in to concideration; and try to learn from them. Also; from now on, if you thumb down the story; please tell me why. I`m nont going to get mad; I just would like to know why you did it.
Rape-Murder, Incest rape, Mind break, Fillyfooling rape, basically a thousand rape and foalcon tags under the sun, a thousand notifications, and only 1,000 words to one story?
I can tell without even reading it that it's not going to be good. Fitting all of this shit into one chapter that's only a thousand words long is saying that first of all it's going to be extremely chaotic, and second of all it's not going to be detailed enough for anyone to care.
I *do* appreciate that you're going through some hoops to try and learn from your mistakes, but there needs to be more effort put into it.
@Sunnyside the pegasus- The eyes only see what you tell them to see. The mind sees it all in clear form; this story is meant to be a mind game. It will require ones mind to prosses smal details in each chapter. The fillies have lost their grip on reality; thus one must attempt to put the pieces together. Each one of them suffers from a form of psychosis; and it is up to the reader to pull out what needs to be. In short; prepare to be mind fu
d.
Well, that is the sign of a good editor. Let me know when the chapter is done ok.
There's a difference between being screwed with and information not being relayed correctly. This is the latter. I'm having a hard time following the main plot, much less the subtext, partly because there's no logic to it.
Even in madness, there is a certain logic.
I'll continue it if you all want ok. Now then, Do any of you know what is real and what is not anymore in this? Good, cause there will be more coming. Quick hint, there is no reality, only what the mind thinks is real; I know you all thought it was going one way, but that is the fun of story telling, one weaves a web, and as they do people are trapped in it. I knew what I wanted to do with this because I have been in an institution. The one I was in was... meh, but I wanted to make it something different than your average CMC slash fic. I like Luna, and the CMC, but that begs the question, what happens now to the main 6, you can send mail while in a facility, the main 6 know what has been going on. I'll ask the audience, what comes next for this?
Oh, and just a teaser. One side of this story is reality, the other not. Can you tell the real from the fake?
I like it so far keep up the good work
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Pvp stop bucking with my mind lol dang this is confusing when you said this would be tricky I thought I'll figure it out in the first paragraph but after reading it over twice I still can't figure it out also when should the next chapter be out
Psychosis seen in dark folder. No crossover tag.
Do not stop updating. I am bored and this story is good. I will keep great until there is a bit more meat.
Screw Applebloom's mind, MY mind is full of fuck right now.