• Member Since 7th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 20th, 2023

pvtread


Brony since 2011, and huge fan of FOE. Also founder of Suicide prevention group.

E

Derpy is often made fun of; she puts on a brave face and is able to get through her life without letting it get to her; until one day she is forced to put everything she has learned from Rainbow Dash about bullies into practice. Will Derpy be able to stand up to the bullies; and what is with this note she has received from Rainbow Dash? Is Derpy's time in Ponyville over; or is this the day something truly amazing is going to happen in her life.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 20 )

There is... A LOT! of Grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, it wouldn't be worth it to list some of them.

Try and get a pre-reader or something, or even re-read what you made before you publish it to check if there is any errors of the kind.

I know your story has a good plot, but I would suggest rereading it and fixing any grammatical/spelling mistakes and errors.

I wanna pre-read and make the story fixed!:derpytongue2:

Hm. I enjoyed this story quite a bit. Found it off of Dreammare's page. Imma give you an upvote, pvtread.

Please fix the grammar. Interesting story.. Its got potential.. Needs quotation marks and other such things, thought I'd give you a tip,. :twilightsmile:

299971- i try to do what corrections i can, however my internet is often spotty and i also am working on my series as well. if you are up to it il allow you to do what you asked.

1246689

Its got potential

Get it... because... the story title is Derpy's Full Potential... Get it?

You need to unpublish this until you can get a skilled pre-reader or editor to show you everything that's wrong with it, because there is so MUCH wrong with it that a lot of people aren't going to bother reading past the first paragraph.

4032527
Be an asshole, that'll get 'em to listen! :pinkiecrazy:

4038228 An asshole?

By pointing out that the story has many errors and needs editing?

This story's been on the site 2 years and has 10 (now 11) comments, less than 25 total votes, and an almost 50/50 like/dislike balance.

When a story with 1500 views has stats like that, there's a problem. I'm just pointing out that there is a problem. Not that it matters. The author clearly doesn't care.

4038470
You named literally none of the errors. Instead, you bashed. Good job helping. :rainbowwild:

Also, I screencapped the PM you sent me, because that made my morning.

Uhh...no, I didn't bash. I advised the author to get a prereader, and to unpublish the story until it can be fixed.

That isn't bashing. Bashing would be "this sucks and you suck and your mother sucks".If I were BASHING the story, I would have downvoted it. I didn't. I'm not one of those 10 thumbs-down votes. Because I'd be willing to read this story if it were properly proofread and edited.

But you don't seem to be intelligent enough to understand the difference between advice and bashing.

The fact that I didn't point out any specific errors doesn't automatically make my comment bashing on the story. If I were going to sit and point out the errors, I might as well offer to preread. But I'm not interested in doing that. Hence my advice to find a prereader.

The next time you feel the need to "defend" someone from a "hater", please do the following:

1. Stop and consider whether or not the "hater" is actually a hater.
2. Consider the possibility that the author is perfectly capable of defending himself/herself, and doesn't really need your assistance.
3. Keep your trap shut.

(To the author: I'm dreadfully sorry about this. My advice was well-intentioned, and it's unfortunate that some pitiful little tosser decided to misinterpret it as an attack.)

4038535
This is pretty incredible. Please enlighten me.

You need to unpublish this

there is so MUCH wrong with it that a lot of people aren't going to bother reading past the first paragraph.

You're such a helpful and constructive critic.
:rainbowkiss:

Also, you're cute when you're mad.

Look; I have an editor, but she is very busy at this time. I know about the errors; and they will be fixd, in time. As of now however; I am focoused on my FOE stories and this is kind of on the back burner for now, seeing as the next story my editor is going to work on is in fact one of my FOE shorts. If you like this story; that`s awesome, if you don`t you can at least take in to concideration that this was my very first ever story on here. I have greatly improved upon my typing skills; and if you read my FOE stuff I`m quite sure you`ll be able to see just how far I`ve come in my typing. P.S. I also do all my work via Xbox360; and believe you me, it is a mirical that my FOE stuff is as good as it is. Same goes for this story; I have tried reviseing this, trust me; but I only have an office computer with word 2010 to do so, and that is only when I can use it. To all who like this story; THANK YOU, to all who don`t; that is you`re perogitive.:pinkiehappy:

4041862

P.S. I also do all my work via Xbox360

What.

Do you have an editor? Because if you didn't, I'd be glad to do so.

Awww little sis is making the wonderbolts.

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