Part of the displaced group. Likes adventure, machines and foxes with cats. Dragon fan and part of toa coy's writer group.
Summary: In the time before Discord, a lone soul will be born to end a war that should never have started, and will go down a path that his kind has never ventured before. Allied with the King of Monsters, Crimson Fang, Figlio di Sangue, he will grow to become who he was meant to be. A true prince of the shades and the Shadow Knight of Nexus. This is set before Dark Star the Crazed's King of Monsters fic.
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Eh.
4405912 dude seriously give it a chance. I know I'm newat this on the site but really i have a good author helping out as a editor and my story is supposed to tie in with his. It was just a prologue okay. I don't care if no one likes this I'm just expanding the history and world dark star made. I think of him as a friend as he and I bounced idea's off each other a lot for the past month since soul appeared.
Two things.
1. You just need to wait. People who like it will eventualy find it.
2.
Not sequel. Prequel.
4408891 right might want to fix that.
Please be to capitalizing the story title. It makes it look more professional.
>a Gollum which he called a shade
I assume you mean "golem" which is an animated creature made of inanimate material not Gollum, who's from Lord of the Rings.
Most of the first chapter is... pretty dull exposition that you might be able to explain through events, character dialogue, etc.
>Tamashii Souto no Nexus
oh geez
i like Japanese culture to an extent but random Japanese phrases like this is just annoying imo. Also what's the pun? It'd help if you had like "Explanation of name" in italics after the sentence. Same goes for your phrase at the bottom.
>Well he does have a third pony DNA alongside your dragon DNA and my shade DNA
How.
Anyway the prologue fails to entice me onwards. Starting with the birth of a character sounds neat and all but it's usually pretty dull.
In fact, prologues in general sound neat but are usually dull, especially when you use them to dump exposition on the unwary reader. Examples are most garbage fantasy and lots of fanfics on this site.
If the prologue was removed entirely something tells me I doubt it'd make much difference in the long run.
4595945 blame dark star for the no nexus bit I was just fine going with just tamashii souto. And the prologue is just to explain the origins of the shades themselves. This is a prequel to the king of monsters fic he has. That and the story follows tamashii and his life until he gets to his apppearence in dark star the crazed's fic. Dark star the crazed is my editor for the story and as you pointed out the prologue is dull but it makes a good introduction of the characters. And thanks for pointing out the title i thought I forgot something. I tend to forget capitalazation when I write when the computer usually gets it.
4595945 and to answer the question of the DNA think nox was originally a dragon so he still has that DNA in him, his wife has pony DNA as her farther is a pony who married a shade, shades have their own DNA as they became homunculi to survive. With soul's parents having half shade DNA and actually giving birth to soul gave him one third dragon DNA, one third pony DNA, and one third shade DNA. In a way soul is a triad being in that case. Remember shades went from golems to homunculi because sunlight was killing them and they had to become living beings through a form of evolution.
Awesome!