I'm a human, the only one that is, living on a world full of ponies and I'm trying to make the best of it. But something happened that I thought impossible. I got pregnant.
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Truekry, I'm not sure how extensive the editing JBL did for you in this chapter, but your grasp of the English language for writing seems to be pretty firm now. Honestly, I've seen worse writing from people who have English as their only language. Continue to strive for more, but I'd say you've got something to be proud of already.
As for the chapter, quite good I have to say. A total reset, back to the roots, so to speak. I've enjoyed the uniqueness of this particular story, so keep up the excellent writing.
Kind of a lousy deal for Celsius there, though.
And it turned gay... I guess I should have seen it coming. Dislike me all you want, but gay stuff being it girl or guy is not my cup of tea, sorry. And we have so few stallion on girl story here on fimfic.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Celsius dump. Given what happened during Melody's breakdown and here, I guess I could see it coming, but I have the lingering feeling there should have been some intermediate step. That's quite the life change, especially because it happened off screen. And this is coming more out or personal preference than any fault, but I was really hoping it would work between Melody and Celsius. F/F vastly outweighs M/F, so I would have liked to see this blossom. Good M/F stories are a rare treat.
My interest took a minor hit, but I'll stick with it. See ya next time, Truekry.
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I'm think what happened - hoping, really - is that she's over reacting. She's gone overboard on dumping everything pony which is just as bad as ditching everything human. Yes, she can't ignore her human side, but at the same time she still needs to do some adapting because she's in ponyland. I'm sure we'll see Celsius again when she realizes that ditching him and leaping to AJ in an attempt to rebound is not going to be healthy for any of them.
Well... as a romantic, I'll miss Celsius. I thought they were a cute couple.
This is probably for the best for both of them.
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Yeah, this was pretty much how I felt about the chapter too. Although I think 5878501 is probably right about Melody over reacting.
I enjoy your writing. The characters have a depth to them many other stories lack.
I'm really glad that Melody got her head on straight, it was really needed. I've also noticed something that a lot of HiE writers tend to overlook. The human must remain human period, the worst thing a human being can do is pretend to be something/someone we are not. That always ends in disaster for us. The contrast between our two races must be preserved or the genre has no meaning at all. Keep up the good work, I'll keep reading and try to learn from your example.
Okay. honestly did not see that coming.
Oh, shut it, aj. Didn't mean for that to sound like a pun.
So, if aj and melody decide to get married, that's another youngin into the apple family?
a few grammar errors here and there, but nowhere near enough to distract from the story. good job and glad to see an update
The simple fact is that Melody is not in the right place, emotionally or mentally, to be in any kind of romantic relationship or intimate relationship (the two are not necessarily the same thing). She needs to get herself together, for the foal's sake if nothing else.
I wonder what Twilight was thinking, giving Melody something so valuable yet something so specific to the relationship between Celestia and Twilight? I suppose that there is a possibility that it was some kind of cryptic message. It's kind of odd; sort of like giving your significant other a lock of your mother's hair or something.
Now this is an interesting turn. Now that Melody is not "acting pony" any longer, it should be fun to see how she interacts with ponies.
5887981 i.imgur.com/ZM05YNw.gif
Honestly, sometimes I hate my binge mentality. I'm already clamouring for more, but my inner writer is muttering "shush, you haven't even finished chapter three of your own story yet, finish it..."
I didn't see that coming. Interested to see if something will come of this, or just a rebound. Poor Celsius either way. Good update though!
Poor Celsius, he never did anything wrong. That has to hurt like hell.
“No sex before the third date.”
Do any humans actually follow that rule? :p
Spent a few days reading this, now to find out all summer without an update.
Plz!
I must know what happens!
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Nope.... But I can't wait for the next chapter
Any word on an update to this? It's a really good story.
The wacky premise got me in the door, but a human who isn't a complete moron kept me. (That she even mentioned the existence of chromosomes is a point in her favour.) I do wonder where this is going, though.
Can you do more
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I try, but with work and everything right now I always to tired in the evening.
hum I just finished this super story to this point only to find it is listed as on hiatus just wondering if after this long if you are planning on coming back to this story or not?
I am really hoping you will as this is a good story.
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I will finish it. It's just that I had a really long break from writing anything at all and I just got back to it. It could be some time before and update is coming.
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I totally understand of all the pony's on the site I know how life can be a mean ass bitch.
This story is freaking amazing. I can't wait to see more.
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Yet despite that, like a true gentlestallion, he is still determined to do whats best for Melody, by going to AJ for help, and even promising to "be back as soon as possible" from work, knowing full well there's really no place for him anymore.
Whether or not he knows AJ is now "the competition" remains to be seen, but either way, that still shows hes one helluva guy. I hope things work out happy for him, he deserves it
7610801 You know, that is very adorable alright.