• Published 12th Apr 2014
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The Mighty Warrior of Epicness - shinigamisparda



A cosplayer is sent to Equestria as his outfit, Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy. Let his epic quest for fights and fun begin!

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Hey! I Can Be Sensitive, Too!

Twilight looked over the letter she had written once more, sighing after revising it for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She finally felt like she had something she could send Princess Celestia, but reread it one more time to be sure.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I had mentioned in a previous letter that Gilgamesh seems to be in the vicinity around Ponyville, possibly even hiding in the Everfree Forest. Events over the past several months have all but confirmed my suspicions, aside from his exact location. However, the exact details of these events had made me question certain aspects about the warrior. Details that, as much as I don’t want to admit it, seem to fly in the face of what you have told me about him.

Now I’d like to perfectly clear about this: I don’t doubt his intentions, to regain his weapons and look for more fights. I also don’t doubt his strength, considering what happened in Canterlot between the two of you (which, I must admit, I’m still having trouble believing happened). I do, however, doubt his hostility, particularly regarding us here in Ponyville as well as Equestria.

Aside from the time he broke into the palace and baracks to regain his weapons Gilgamesh’s actions were initially harmless, if annoying. I mentioned before his dancing in my library, as well as him showing up during Rainbow Dash’s pet race, not to mention dancing on rooftops not long after our “Mare-Do-Well” scheme, and I don’t think I need to go into detail about Hearth’s Warming. Recently, however, he’s almost been acting outright helpful.

Before Hearth’s Warming Eve I mentioned when Spike went out of control. What I did not mention, as I could hardly believe it myself, was Gilgamesh fighting off Spike, even going so far as boisterously declare that we could now “safely walk our streets without fear” when he thought he had defeated Spike, and even attempted to catch Rarity and Spike when they fell. Then there was when he showed up to congratulate Fluttershy on learning how to stand up for herself without being crazy aggressive. But by far the most helpful act he’s done was what happened over the past few days, during and after the Dragon Migration…


Four Days Ago

I sighed, looking up at the sky through a hole in the Castle ceiling. Let it never be said that I was the best at taking disappointment.

God damn it, Kat. Why didn’t you listen? Haven’t you seen enough movies to know that revenge never works out for the one seeking it? Well, if nothing else, she didn’t want to kill them, and actually had some plans for afterward, but didn’t she consider how the rest would look at her after that?

It had been a week and some change since we’d parted, and now I couldn’t even eat meat without thinking of her. Even if I did know where my weapons were, I probably wouldn’t have had the motivation to go after them.

Goddamn it, I need something to get me out of this mood. Anything to distract-

And just like that, the universe provides.

The sound of roaring came as, well as the occasional light of fire. Just to make sure I hopped up to the castle roof and saw the flying reptiles.

“Dragon Quest,” A.K.A. “The Great Dragon Migration.” Oh, I’ve been looking forward to this one.

I smirked. This was one event I had been waiting for, a chance to prove myself the good guy even before Kat had shown up. After all, what kind of villain saves a group of ponies and a baby dragon from a bunch of asshole teenagers?

An extremely manipulative one, I thought. Then again, Celestia isn’t exactly without her chess games either, now is she?

I also thought about cementing my place as good, or at least not bad, in one of their lives, seeing as I actually knew something the show didn’t for once.

Besides, the kid could us some guy talk.

I decided to head to Zecora’s and tell her where I was going, as well as to record some songs for Vinyl and Octavia , assuming they weren’t too mad at me for what I did at the Hearth’s Warming Play, or feeling guilty about their indirect roll in it.


Two Days Ago

“Nice going, Spike.”

“Well, what are you waiting for, Spike? Smash it!”

Spike recoiled at that.

“Smash the egg?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, throw it on the ground as hard as you can!”

“Yeah!” they all shouted. “Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!”

Spike held the egg above his head, toiling with the decision, until, with one final surge of will, made his choice.

“No! It's just a defenseless egg, like I was! And I'm not gonna let you hurt it!”

“What did you say?” the leader asked, his voice turning fierce.

“I said no,” the young drake replied firmly.

No one says no to me,” he threatened before stepping forward.

The small drake cradled the egg as he stepped back, only to bump into something. He turned to see the weird-looking dragon he beat in the tail-wrestle, only for the creature to remove its skin, or rather cover, and reveal Twilight, Rainbow, and Rarity.

“Nopony’s gonna lay a claw on him!” Rainbow shouted, holding up her forelegs aggressively.

“That’s right!” Twilight chimed in.

“Fighting’s not really my thing, I’m more into fashion, but I’ll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!” Rarity finished with surprising ferocity.

The three teens looked on in shock before laughing heartily.

“Ooh, scary, heh heh! Spike, are these namby-pamby ponies your friends?” Garble mocked.

“Yes, they are. And they’re better friends than you could ever be!” he retorted. He was about to continue when he thought he heard something approaching. The sound of trees crashing caught everyone’s attention and soon revealed the last creature he was expecting to see.

“BEEP BEEP! YOUR EXPRESS DELIVERY OF PAIN HAS ARRIVED!”

And with that the armored warrior slammed his shoulder into the three teenagers, sending them tumbling into a pile. He stood tall as they recovered, finally untangling themselves.

“What the-? What was that about!?” Garble asked in anger.

What Gilgamesh did next caught the three ponies and the baby dragon completely off guard: he positioned himself between the two groups, folding his arms as he faced the three dragons.

“I’m protecting my friends,” he said simply.

“Your what!?” Rainbow shouted in disbelief.

“’Friends’, huh? And just who are you supposed to be?”

The warrior chuckled before posing dramatically.

“QUAKE WITH FEAR, PUNY REPTILES, FOR YOU FACE THE LEGENDARY DRAGON SMASHER HIMSELF! I AM THE MIGHTY GILGAMESH!

The three teens looked at each other for moment.

“Check out this nutjob!” Garble said with a chuckle. “Is that supposed to scare us?”

“’Dragon Smasher’? Ha!” the purple dragon joined in.

Gilgamesh notably deflated. “Are you kidding me? The adults think I never really existed and the kids have never even heard of me? You’d think after all the things I did I’d be a more permanent part of their history. Ugh, now I know how Luna feels.”

“Whatever. Now get out the way before I-!”

“Blah, blah, blah, blah,” Gilgamesh interrupted Garble. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard this shtick before? Some cocky schmuck thinks he’s the best there is and should get everything he wants and thinks no one can take him. And you’re a teenager to boot.”

The red drake growled. “I’m giving you till the count of ten-“

I’m giving you till the count of three. As in three moves.”

“Huh?”

The warrior folded his arms. “You got two choices: you can run off now, or you can try three times to take me down before I take you down.”

“Hah! You really want to fight with me?”

“Oh, it won’t be much of a fight. But go ahead, tough guy. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

The red drake lunged forwards and slashed at his head, eliciting a spark against the armor, but otherwise not leaving a scratch.

“That’s one.”

The dragon looked surprised for a moment before steeling himself and turning, smacking the warrior in the midsection with his tail, only for there to be no visible response of any kind.

“That’s two. One more chance to bring your A-game. Or you could just run.”

Garble grit his fangs for a moment before inhaling deeply. The girls and Spike noticed their position in relationship to these events and dived to the side just as the teenager unleashed his flaming breath, enough to obscure the warrior in its flames. As they faded he stood there unmoved, not even slightly scorched, casually looking at his fingers.

“Oh, was that number three? Funny, I could’ve sworn you were going to breath fire at me, which is odd because I didn’t feel a thing.”

The three teenagers were visibly scared now, backing away in terror.

“W-What are you!?” Garble asked.

“Oh, I have been waiting to say this,” the warrior muttered before dashing forward, stopping right in front of the leader with his arm cocked back. “I AM A MAN!” he shouted in an exaggerated voice before slamming his fist into the dragon’s gut. The force sent the drake flying backwards, smashing through several trees until he was out of sight. The other two looked back to the warrior in shock and terror, who cracked his knuckles. “Who’s next?”

The two remaining drakes fled, screaming their heads off. With a satisfied grunt the warrior turned around to gaze at the others. He took a brief look at the egg Spike was still holding and nodded.

“Good job, kid,” he said simply.

“Huh?”

With one quick motion he unclipped his weapon, cut a hole into the air next to him, and then clipped it back.

“Later!” he said before tilting over and falling into the hole, which quickly closed behind him.

The four friends simply looked on in confusion before deciding to head home.


Last Night

“Well, that was certainly an adventure, huh Spike?” Twilight asked, finally entering the Golden Oaks Library.

“No kidding. Boy am I tuckered out,” he nodded in response.

“Well, I think you deserve some rest after this. But if you could stay awake just long enough to help me send a letter to Celestia, I’d really appreciate it.”

“No problem, Twilight. And I think I’ll get a few things to keep Peewee here warm.”

“’Peewee’?”

“Yeah? What?”

The unicorn chuckled. “Oh nothing, I just think it’s a cute name. Anyway, I’ll be right back,” Twilight said before heading up to her study and bedroom.

Spike gathered a few odds and ends for the phoenix egg, creating a nice nest for the creature, before a knock came at the door.

“I’ll get it!” the dragon called before opening it. “Hello, and welcome to… to…” he trailed off seeing the massive armored figure in front of him.

“’Sup, squirt?”

“G-G-G-G-“

“No need to panic, kid, I don’t bite. That’s probably more your shtick.”

“W-What d-d-do y-you w-w-w-want?” Spike asked nervously.

“Here’s the deal kid, you come outside and sit with me and listen to what I have to say, and then I tell you all I know about dragons.”

Spike’s eyes widened. To think that Gilgamesh, of all creatures, could tell him about dragons! And was actually going to tell him! It was too good to be true!

“Wait a minute… You can’t fool me! I’ve read this before in comics books! You promise me to tell me all you know about dragons, which is true because you don’t know anything, and I have to do what you say to find that out!” Spike angrily accused.

“Hm, I suppose that’s true. You have no idea if I’m lying or not. But then again, I’m not forcing you to do anything. All your choice pal,” the armored warrior replied calmly. “Tell you what, I’ll wait outside by the bridge to Everfree for ten minutes. You come, and come alone, then you accept the deal. If not, have a nice sleep.”

He then closed the door. Spike looked out the window and saw him calmly stroll towards the direction of the Everfree Forest and Fluttershy’s cottage. Since it was late at night, nopony was awake to see him. Spike paced in front of the door for several minutes before groaning and going outside.

“Ok Spike, if you could just… Spike?” Twilight looked around, unable to find her assistant as she came down the stairs, but noticing the door slightly ajar.


Spike found the warrior sitting on the ledge of the bridge he said he’d be on. Spike still kept his distance, eyeing him cautiously.

“Well?” Spike asked, only for the biped to chuckle and pat part of the edge next to him. Spike hesitated before carefully positioning himself next to him arm’s length. “So, are you going to tell me about dragons or not?”

“Not so fast kid, the deal was that you were going to listen to what I had to say first before I told you anything about that.”

“As if! I bet you’re saying that because you don’t know anything!”

“Hey, if that’s how you feel just head on home, no skin off my nose.”

Spike growled but stayed still.

“Why did you ditch that tea set?”

“Huh?”

“The tea set you took with you on your quest, why did you ditch it?”

“How do you even-?”

“Followed you. Answer the question.”

“Uh, well, I did it because… because…”

“It didn’t seem very ‘dragonlike’?”

“Well, yeah,” he admitted.

“And why did you at one point decide to stay with those teenage dragons? Surely you could tell right off the batt they were jerks.”

“Well, yeah, but I guess I just wanted to be thought of as a real dragon for once. I mean, I know she wasn’t trying to be mean, but Rainbow teasing me hurt a lot.”

“So you thought if you spent more time with a ‘real’ dragon you’d get tougher and get more respect, right?”

“Uh, yeah, something like that. I guess. But I don’t want to be like that anymore!” he added quickly.

“You mean you don’t want to be a jerk, or you don’t want to be a dragon? Because let me tell you now, those two are not one in the same.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Spike, it may not seem like it now, but despite what anyone else says sticking to what you like makes you stronger, not weaker. Change if you want, but only if you want to.”

“You mean, like, I shouldn’t have given up the tea?”

“Do you like tea?”

“Um… yes?”

“Then don’t give it up.”

“But-“

“Make your own decisions, Spike, like how you decided to come out here and see me.”

“But, well, coming out here to see you alone was kinda stupid, when I think about it. I mean, you could’ve hurt me, like the other dragons when I tried to stop Peewee from getting smashed.”

“Do you regret not smashing that egg?”

“No!”

“Then don’t worry about it.”

“But I was gonna run away from them before you showed up! Even when the girls came, I was still thinking about running!”

“So you think yourself a coward?”

“Well… a little bit.”

“Spike, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re weak. Running away from something you can’t hope to beat isn’t cowardly, it’s smart. And even if you’re weak, you’re still brave.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because, Spike, you know what a real coward would’ve done?” The drake shook his head in response. “A real coward would’ve known smashing that egg was the wrong thing to do, and smashed it anyway because he was too afraid for himself.”

“Huh. I… never thought of it that way. Hey, why are you telling me all this?’

“Two reasons. One, I thought you could use some advice and some guy talk, seeing as how you can’t really get that much around Ponyville.”

“What do you mean? I know guys I can talk to.”

“Oh yeah, who? Big Mac? Yeah, that sounds like a very stimulating conversation.”

“Well you… got a point there,” Spike finished lamely.

“And two, I wanted to show you how strong, brave, and smart you really are before I start talking about dragons.”

“We’re going to finally talk about dragons?” Spike asked with a smile, which quickly fell from his face when he realized what else Gilgamesh said. “W-Wait, what do you mean?”

“Spike, I’m going to tell you something you probably don’t want to hear, but I want you to stick with me ok?” The drake nodded hesitantly. “First of all, all dragons hoard, it’s just a fact.”

Spike visibly deflated. “You mean, no matter what I do, I’m gonna turn into a monster like-?”

“Ah, ah, ah. Let me finish. Yes, you will hoard, but you won’t necessarily become a monster.”

“What do you mean? How can I hoard and still not turn into… into what I did last time?”

“Spike, there are two kinds of hoarding for a dragon: Hoarding that fills, and hoarding that fulfills.”

“Huh?”

“Let me give you an analogy. It’s kinda like eating. Hoarding that fills, like you were doing when you turned big, is kinda like eating chips, or some other kind of snack food. It might be tasty, but eating it just makes you hungry for more and it doesn’t really fill you up. Hoarding that fulfills would be more like… eating a vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry banana split in a sapphire bowl, with emerald flakes like sprinkles and a ruby on top like a cher-“

The warrior stopped when he saw the baby dragon drooling profusely from his mouth.

“Heh. I guess you get my point.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve got a little something on your face there, kid.”

“Wha? Oh!” Spike realized what he was getting at and quickly wiped his face, thoroughly embarrassed.

“So yeah, that’s what fulfilling hoarding is like. Sort of like eating a high quality meal that feels more filling even if you ate less.”

“So, I was doing filling hoarding?”

“Of course. Would you really have gone nuts over a broom if you were in your right mind?”

“Heh. I guess not.”

“Now, like food, you’ll likely do some filling hoarding on the side, but fulfilling hoarding will give you a more stable growth. You’ll get bigger and stronger like before, but it won’t be as crazy fast and it won’t make you go nuts. Also, what a dragon hoards to fulfill themselves is different for each dragon.”

“You mean it might not be gems and stuff?”

“It might, but not necessarily. In fact, being a dragon raised around ponies, I can guess it probably won’t be. You value things differently than most dragons, so it’ll probably affect what you hoard. When you find out what it is, you’ll know.”

“So it’s kind of like getting a cutie mark!”

“Eh, sort of, except what fulfills you can change over your lifetime.”

“Really!?”

“Yup. There was a story I heard once about a dragon named ‘Razortail’ who was obsessed with fighting. He took trophies from his defeated opponents and hoarded those. Eventually he noticed that he liked the memory of the battle more than the trophy itself, and liked telling others about the fights and the opponents he fought. Then he shifted into hoarding stories, and then that changed into hoarding knowledge itself.”

“Wow. So he had a lot of books?”

“Well, yes, but the books themselves were not his hoard, it was the knowledge. Which leads me to my last bit of info, which I think may be the most important. Sometimes what a dragon hoards isn’t an actual tangible thing.”

“Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“I mean what you want to hoard, what you treasure, may not be an actual thing you can hold. Just because you can’t physically hoard it doesn’t mean it will be less valuable to you, though.”

“So if it might not even be something I can see or hold on to, how am I supposed to know when I find it?”

“That’s all on you, kid. Just don’t try to force it. Besides, you might have it already and just not realize it.”

“Ugh, this is confusing.”

“Yeah, life usually is.”

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

The warrior chuckled. “You know, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity asked me the same thing when I congratulated the shy pegasus on learning how to be assertive without being a jerk, and I’m going to give you the same answer.”

“Which is?”

“I wanted to.”

Spike looked on in disbelief. “That’s it?”

“Yup,” he answered simply before hopping off the rail. “And so ends our little conversation. I think it’s time you got to bed.”

“Yeah, I guess I am pretty tired,” the drake admitted after a yawn. “Well, um, thanks.”

“No problem. Oh, and one last thing.”

“Yeah?”

The warrior turned and faced a nearby bush.

“YOUR SNEAKING SKILLS SUCK!” he shouted before dashing off towards the Everfree Forest.

“Huh?” Spike looked from the warrior back to the bush, only to find a certain lavender unicorn sheepishly poking her head out. “Twilight?”


In conclusion, I find it hard to believe that Gilgamesh is truly as evil as you and Luna led us to believe. I don’t want to think you’re wrong, but maybe there’s something you didn’t tell us? Or maybe you didn’t know? Whatever the case I would greatly appreciate your advice on how to proceed.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

Celestia scanned the letter one last time before sighing. Could she really have been wrong about him? Or was this simply a game he was playing at? Whatever the case, she needed answers. She summoned another scroll as well as a quill and ink.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I’m afraid I must admit that until recently Luna and I have never met Gilgamesh outside the field of battle. As such, I fear that may have coated our view of him one particular light. He has obviously proven to be a more multi-faceted individual than we initial thought. Though these events are very intriguing and possibly even give me hope I want you to continue to treat Gilgamesh as a threat for now. That being said, if you can find a way to talk to him and get some concrete information it may prove very helpful. However, please do not go out of your way to get this information, as the thought of putting yourself in the way of such a powerful creature chills me to the bone. Please be cautious.

Princess Celestia

Author's Note:

Tired. Four AM. Why do I do this to myself?

Glad you all liked feels last chapter. More funny this chapter. Hope you like dragon world building. Crossover coming next and Changeling Invasion after.

Bed time now.