good old epic saxophone but did the doll really need to get burnt...

Oh good lord, the TFS puns! They hurt! It is a good pain!

Woo! Go team Two Star! Because there's only two of them. And Spike.

6407055 I think his injury was a good equaliser for that

Oh shit! Dude, your arm. I read the last paragraphs with his arm 3 times. Holy shit.

6514340
I find it funny you're focusing more on that than the whole non-existence of internal organs in chapter 6. Although, the arm is pretty fucked up right now, admittedly.

Hey, if the man doesn't want to have organs, let him.

Why is it that all the half-decent ones of these are abandoned again pretty much right away, really? A million billion different "behold, I am become prettyboy anime faggot no. 123456" and they just keep going forever, but something like this? Nope, not happening. It's bullshit, is what it is.

6542394
Thanks, but it's not abandoned. I'm just reeeeeeeeeaaaaally slow at updating. I sort of got college to deal with and other shit.

Not to mention, I tend to put some forethought into the story. I have a general outline in my head as to where I want to go. I mean, yes there are multiple occasions where I just write and continue to do so, letting the story flow. But then there are points where I end up stopping and staring at a sentence for twenty minutes wondering how I can better word things, or whether I want the story to proceed in a certain direction.

To boil it down, quality over quantity, I suppose.

6545174
I.E. normal author stuff. Yeah, that most of these stories don't even bother with that was kind of the joke there.

I like where this is headed!

Just so you know, I feel like the first few chapters could be revised. A lot has changed between now and the time you published your story, and your improved writing reflects that. I reckon you'll be able to rewrite the first five chapters neatly into two if you wanted to. Add more description and tone down the references--while I appreciate the Dark Souls references, not everyone has played it. I understand that the concept of your character is making references (a concept that seems to diminish in the later chapters, though,) but consider changing the humor focus to a more general form of comedy.

That said, your skill definitely lies in writing the more serious situations. In particular, the flashback scenes in chapter 6 were very well written. (Eat eat eat eat eat EAT!) Your story is definitely headed in a good direction now. Don't hesitate to really amplify the horror of some situations for effect--when you do it, it really works! Later on, once you finish this story or get bored with it, consider trying another story focusing only on serious or dark or haunting concepts and see how it turns out.

Some technical points to consider revising though: Your narrative tense changes between past and present when it shouldn't. For each scene, pick past or present tense, then stick to it. And a minor nitpick, but the conjugation in Chapter 6's middle englishey dialogue wasn't correct. Something to consider fixing.

I look forward to more great work from you!

6565135 Indeed. Also, what happened to him not being able to cuss? In the chapter where he introduces Zecora, he cusses, and there's no bleep.

Is this story dead? Cause its pretty good. At least when the chaos and jokes are rolling