• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 5th, 2013

Stormhoof


I want to get my hoof in the door with fanfiction and take a break from my other projects, Open to downright brutal criticism, I am not the best writer, But I am far from the worse.

E

Luna, knowing she still must improve her standings with much of Equestria asks a favor of Celestia:To let her host the next Grand Galloping Gala. Celestia refuses and offers a better idea, To let Luna host her own Individual celebration. Luna soon finds out the troubles of planning such a grand event.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 34 )

very good, I know what it's like to be hated by everyone so i cried a tiny bit! the only problem I see are some places where there should be some punctuation but other then that I didn't see that many problems with it! Good job!:scootangel:

Poor Luna. Hope things get better.

Hmm, Not bad. I find this...

Luna Approved
*Looks at list of emotes* Grrr, you'd think they'd have at least one Luna emote. :ajbemused:

387483
I was just thinking that!

But anyways, I'm interested to see where this is going. You have gained another stal- I mean tracker!

I like it. Very well written and shows how the trouble Luna faces is pretty bad. I mean, we get a small part of it during Luna Eclipsed, but this story really drives it home. I anxiously await the next chapter. :twilightsmile:

That rat b****rd shopkeeper. If I were there, I'd teach him a lesson in how to treat a woman, much less a princess. :flutterrage::twilightangry2:

Holy crap this blew up! well, I thank you all VERY much. Seriously though...I am off for just 2 hours and get like...11 people favving it? This pleases me...well, expect alot more, I am hoping to work on this every night I can
but seriously...like 11 favorited it...:raritystarry::yay::twilightsmile::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::ajsmug::moustache::moustache::moustache:
I am amazed

Randomly raising prices because you don't like the customer? :rainbowderp:
Bad business, and also likely to be illegal. :facehoof:
Randomly raising prices because you don't like the customer and the customer in question is one two god monarchs of the country you are in? :rainbowderp:
Bad business, likely to be illegal, and asking to be imprisoned for life. :twilightoops:

Now, i can see Luna having issues with her subjects, but open hostility does not seem likely to be one of them. :moustache:

Fainting in terror, ponies fleeing at sight, screams loud enough to break eardrums, all that i'd get, but open hostility a black man/woman might meet in deep south during the 50s in USA does not sound likely.

Tracking for now out of interest, but no thumbs up yet.

Nice. But, it lost some credibility with me when the jewelery shop owner was openly a douche to her. When Luna stares you down, you either cower in fear, or fall to your knees and declare as loudly as you can "I'M NOT WORTHY!" ^^

Seriously though, I understand when people are afraid of her, but that shop keeper probably has stones so big that they generate their very own gravity field.

That said, I did enjoy reading it. Poor Luna. :raritycry:

388184
388487
I had to throw something in there to top off all the unpleasant stuff in her day, I assure you...in a later chapter the shopkeeper pays his dues *Evil laugh*

I am finding this story rather easy to get lost in, that being said...Every day I have a day off from work I will likely update.
Thanks again to all of you

389148

Understandable, just noting that it breaks the believability of the story and makes it less engaging to the reader.

389351
I thank ye kindly, I shall do my best to make the rest of the story more believable

a few grammar and punctuation errors, but other then that pretty good!

no errors or any such, but i really don't like this version of Luna

389944
Do not fret...THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE SHALL BE IMPLEMENTED!!!IS THAT NOT CLEAR!?!?!

I hope Luna's event goes well.

Had a good chuckle at the newest chapter. Here's what came to mind at the end of it:

"I’ve wrestled with alligators, I’ve tussled with a whale.
I done handcuffed lightning, and throw thunder in jail.
You know I’m bad.
Just last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick.
I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.
I’m so fast, I can run through a hurricane and don't get wet.
I can drown the drink of water, and kill a dead tree.
Wait till you see Pony Ali!"

"So will you ask Princess Luna to be your date to the Gala?" Inquired Princess Celestia with a hopeful smile.

"Hell no! That pony is scary!" came his reply as he trotted off.

Poor Luna. Half the reason I enjoy this story is because of how you play the "royalty are the same as us" card, showing that whether you are a princess or a average pony, you still want to be accepted. There were quite a few punctuation errors, and errors involving capitalization throughout the story though. My suggestion is to either get a proof reader (there is a friendly group with over a hundred different proof readers who are more than willing to help) or before posting reread your entire story slowly to find some of the more glaring mistakes. It helps a lot, and will make it easier for everyone to read :twilightsmile: Can't wait to see the next chapter.

391310
I thank you very much, In my mind,I feel like in the series luna is unappreciated. Many people feel seem to feel that luna deserves the hate she receives. I hope I can give Luna a happy ending (That sounded so wrong). these two chapters are barely a start, I do not want this story to finish till months after her little event is finished. May throw in some side romances, a little angry rant, and if this story is well liked enough I may do a sequel like Vargras did. This entire story was inspired by me reading it. I only hope I cant make this story the best it can be. But until then...Have some spike with his mustache :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I'm noting many, MANY grammar flops. Please be careful when writing.

I am admittedly not grammatically inclined, I shall be more careful

I had no problem understanding the story. I see your potential, I just wish you'd written more on this chapter. It's a pitfall I'm a victim of too unfortunately. :facehoof:

I do hope you plan to do something with the three champions. Rather impressive gents all, they deserve some good continuation :pinkiesmile: Good chapter, loving how grating the sarge is, keeps forgetting his place :rainbowlaugh:

457260
so glad you brought that up...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA...no spoilers though...be a good little reader and wait for the next update XD

The three might make a good core to revive the Night Guards. Also I agree something needs to

happen to that shopkeeper, that is no way to treat a Lady. Maybe something roasted and served to him

with a nice side of fava beans, But that might be a little over the top.

Seriously, a good story, looking forward to more of it.

483099
I just now caught that reference lol.I assure you...all douchebaggery will be dealt with...

"With a flank to KILL for"

I started to laugh to dead srly xDDDDDDDD


Great part! Cant wait for the next~ Favo~

Hm. The archaisms are a bit rough. Try looking up Wikipedia's article on "thou"

591177
Dont deny the lunaliciousness!!!!
591248
It is rough but when I get a chance to edit it all I am going to smooth it all out
593621
Keep it up I shall!!!

Is this still an active story or have you dropped it or quit?

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