Chapter 2: Frank
by DJ TR33
I stood up slowly, trying to keep myself from falling over again. It wasn't easy, especially since my legs felt like they were literally on fire. Don't ask me how I know what it feels like to have your legs be on fire, but believe me, it is extremely unpleasant, and it was not helping my mood at all.
Eventually, I managed to stand push myself into an approximation of a standing position. I stood upright, my legs wobbling somewhat beneath me and threatening to send me crashing to the ground. The only reason why I actually managed to stay upright was through sheer force of will, and an intense desire not to get more sand in my mouth.
I lifted one leg up to take a tentative step and promptly fell flat on my face. "Shit..." I mumbled, cheek pressed against the sand. When I tried to stand up again, I realized that my horn had lodged deep in the sandy soil. I pulled hard with my back legs, trying to get it out. After a few seconds of straining, it came out with a jolt. I overbalanced and fell over backwards, landing hard on my back. A jolt of pain shot through one of my wings. "Son of a bitch!"
After a few seconds, I rolled over and tried again. This time I managed a few steps before crashing back to the ground. It took a few tries, and a significant increase to my headache, before I was able to walk without falling immediately. I made my way up the dune I'd been sitting under. It took a few minutes, since I constantly had to check myself before I lost balance. Eventually, I made it to the top, and I was able to look out at the desert in front of me.
"What the hell..." I said, trailing off as I took in the view. In front of me, a few miles away, lay a massive structure. At first I thought it was just a massive sand dune, but I quickly realized that it was made out of sandstone. I could see holes in the structure, entrances to tunnels that presumably wound down into the ground below. I stared at it for a few moments before realizing what it reminded me of. It looked like a massive ant nest, or a wasp hive.
"The Hive," I said, almost unconsciously. Something about the word just felt right.
I tore my gaze away from the Hive for a moment to look at the view beyond. The desert kept on going for almost as far as I could see, but just past it I could make out a glimmer of green, the end of the desert. For a moment, as I looked at it, I felt an intense, irrational anger start to bubble up.
Then I remembered that I had a lot of better things to be mad at than a green place that was miles away, like the fact that I was a bug-thing or that I still had fucking sand in my mouth. Mostly the latter, though. I brought my leg up, trying to rub it against my teeth to get some of the gritty little shits out of there, but all I really accomplished was cutting my leg again, this time on my sharp front fangs.
"Goddamn it!" I cried out, putting my weird black leg back on the ground. It hurt like crazy, and I hoped that whatever creature I was wasn't venomous, or at least was immune to its own venom, otherwise today was about to get a hell of a lot worse. And, to add insult to injury, I still had sand in my mouth.
I was interrupted in the middle of trying to spit it out by a voice coming from somewhere nearby. "My Queen!" someone near me cried out. I winced as the sound amplified my already bad headache. I turned towards the source just in time to see a smaller bug creature crash into me at full force. I screamed as it knocked me off the top of the hill, sending me tumbling down the hill in an ungainly mess of limbs and chitin until I finally stopped at the bottom, with my mouth once again firmly pressed into the sand.
"My Queen! Are you alright?" the voice asked.
"What do you think? Of course I'm not fucking alright, some asshole just crashed into me like a goddamn five ton truck!" Slowly, I struggled back to my feet, looking up at the asshole in question.
He looked a lot like me, but smaller. A black glossy substance covered his entire body, although it was cracked in a few places where I could see green blood flowing out. He also had a horn, fangs, and glossy wings on his back, although one of them was bent at a bad angle halfway through. Despite this, he was hovering in the air above me, pain warring with concern as he looked down at me.
As I spoke, he landed next to me and bowed his head. "I offer my humblest apologies, My Queen. I have injured you, and my life is now forfeit. With this, he exposed his neck, giving me a chance to study his features more in depth. Unlike my own horn, which was jagged and sharp, his looked more like a thorn, sticking up off his head and eventually tapering to a point. He also had a large fin running down his back, almost like a mane, and a short tail made up of a similar material.
Curious, I poked at the fin. It had a strange, almost rubbery texture. Reaching back, I tried to feel for a similar fin on my own body, but instead of a fin I found something that almost resembled hair, but seemed a bit harder and less flexible. I was testing it with my front leg when some of what the bug thing said sank in.
"Wait, what did you call me?" I asked, looking at him. He raised his head, hesitantly.
"My... Queen?" He asked, his voice as hesitant as his movements. I decided to let him down as gently as possible.
"Look, I'm flattered, really, but I think you've mistaken me for another person. Uh, bug creature. Thing. What do you call yourself?"
"My Queen, I am Drone #743." He still looked extremely nervous and confused, although I suppose that could be explained by the whole thing of thinking I was a queen. His queen, apparently.
"Yeah, there's no way in hell I'll be calling you that. How about Frank?"
He froze, staring at me with wide eyes. After a few moments, I started waving my hoof in front of his face, but he still didn't move.
"Shit, did I break Frank?" I mumbled. I poked him, hoping it would break him out of whatever the hell was going on. It didn't work.
After a few seconds, I poked him again. "Two," I said under my breath. A few moments passed. "Three." For a bug creature with a hard outer shell, Frank was surprisingly fun to poke.
"Four." Still nothing.
"Five." I smiled to myself. Poking was always awesome.
~~~
"Sixty six." Still no movement. I barely held back a yawn.
"Sixty seven." Wait, did he move a bit? I think he did. Hmmm.
"Sixty eig-- woah!"
Frank jumped back, looking at me with complete and utter confusion. "My Queen, did you... give me a name?" He asked, his voice filled with reverence.
"Yeah, I did. Why? Is that important?" I asked, still befuddled by his reaction. As much fun as he'd been to poke, I still had no idea why he'd frozen, although I was glad to see I hadn't permanently broken Frank. He seemed like a good guy, even though he'd crashed into me earlier.
He started to say something, then paused. "My Queen, may I ask you something?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly. The whole fear thing was starting to get on my nerves.
"I told you, Frank, I'm not your Queen, but sure. Go ahead."
"Did you... hit your head when you fell?"
I looked at him, surprised. From how he was acting, it seemed like he was taking a huge risk in asking me that. Maybe he was braver than I'd given him credit for. I sighed, not wanting to disappoint the little guy.
"Here, let me level with you." I sat down, so that I was actually level with him. "I have no idea what's going on, why I'm here, or where 'here' is. I'm hurt, tired, and hungry, I have a killer headache, and I still have some motherfucking sand in my mouth from when I first woke up. I don't know what I am, but I'm not your Queen. My name is..." I trailed off, as I suddenly realized I didn't know what my name was. Thinking about it, I realized I couldn't remember anyone's name. Not my father, not my brother, not my friends, not even our family's dog. I remembered picking up that dog's shit thousands of times, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what his name was.
"my Queen, are you alright?" Frank asked, seeming very concerned. I almost growled in frustration as he stubbornly continued giving me that title. Suddenly, I had a moment of pure genius and inspiration.
"Okay, Frank, here's what we're going to do. Consider this me testing you on your knowledge and skill. I'm going to pretend that I don't know anything, and you're going to fill me in on anything I ask about. Sound good?" I asked. He nodded, looking relieved. It was as if he'd been expecting orders the whole time, and hadn't really known what to do without them.
I felt kind of bad, knowing that I was using the little guy, but I needed someone to fill me in on the world I was in, or else I might fuck up seriously. Now, I know that it might seem like I didn't care what happened, but that's not really the case. The way I saw it, this was most likely some kind of freaky trip, but it also might be reality, and I had to prepare for that possibility. On the off chance that I wasn't making all of this up in my head, I had no intention of dying of starvation just because I was too dumb to use what the world sent my way. In this case, Frank.
"Okay, first question. What's my name?" I asked, standing up again. I started to walk up the dune, leaving Frank to catch up. Ordinarily, I would have felt bad, but Frank was expecting royalty, and I was ready to oblige.
"Queen Chrysalis, my Queen," he said, scurrying to match my longer strides.
"Chrysalis?" I said, looking at him in shock. "My name's fucking Chrysalis?" I started to giggle. It was just too goddamn ridiculous. Soon, my giggle turned into a snort, then a chuckle, and finally a full blown laugh. Frank just looked at me with a mildly concerned expression I would get to know very well in the near future.
"Eh, I guess it suits the situation," I said, still laughing a bit to myself. Frank looked relieved that I'd come back to my senses somewhat, but he seemed too nervous to question me about it. I'd have to work on that. "And it shortens to Chrys. I like it!"
"Now," I said, turning back to Frank, a sinister gleam coming into my eyes. "I've got a helluva lot more questions."
MoAaaaar work faster
This is an awesome story that I'm looking forward to reading more of!
Keep up the good work and the smartass character!
I thumbs too hard
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCJ0STo0UWjmBGA3AEXTdqdrbAKkkcYzl7NyaIXsKjoM8fCTD_LA
this is good, i like this
GGRRrr
[Found this story on the featured list and read both your chapters. Now I want moar!]
GGRRrr
[I also hope you are an author who posts chapters within at least a day or two, but I am demanding too much so take as much time as you need for good chapters.]
GGRRrr
[Keep up the good work. ]
Moar.
...
...
...
That is all.
4159203 Tag your porn
> Prepares for massive changeling story outbreak.
"IT BEGINS!"
Haha, good show, I have to read this now since I was about 2k words into something similar, but I think my idea was a bit darker and tragic at the end.
But I shall follow since it this seems to closely related.
I used the same image for a similar story set on Earth instead of Equestria...
See, this is what all Human stories should be like. Take notes, HiE writers, this is your genre done right.
Eagerly awaiting more! Loving what you have so far, I'm invested.
>>>Don't ask me how I know what it feels like to have your legs be on fire, but believe me, it is extremely unpleasant, >>>
I can vouch for this assessment. I have set my legs nearly on fire several times.
Science happens, ya know?
4159786 Noted, my good sir. However, if you took a closer look, I think you would find Frank to be both well kept and clean, the opposite of icky and gross, but also inoculated against cooties of all sorts. I can't vouch for Chrys, though. 'Ling be cray.
I like this. I like this a lot. I expect a helluva lot of shenanigans in the future of this story. More than there are questions for poor Frank and the times she poked him combined.
4159775 Uhm, I hope you're not serious.
This sort of style only works a few times as a farce or satire, after which there's nothing more that can be done with it.
Having humans just drop into Equestria for no good reason, or into any universe for that matter, really doesn't leave much room for storytelling.
Living like a bug ain't easy...
4159806
They didn't take it seriously. That's where they went right. People need to accept that serious HiE stories have been done to death and that you need something to differentiate each one from the mass of similar stories. Normally, human-wakes-up-in-a-pony-body stories makes me want to vomit, but by employing humor, the author made this story enjoyable for me. I'm not saying humor is the only way to do this, but this author has found a way to stand out in a field of mediocrity.
Damn it, this had better not update as slowly as "Hail to the King"...
Because it's awesome!
I hope the "new" Chrysalis does some good for the Changelings.
Really good, and funny, keep going.
4159877 I see what you mean.
For 'serious' HiE stories, the first and foremost issue is often that too few of those authors bother to ask WHY the human ended up in Equestria (this is also a problem with the vast majority of crossovers as well). Those that do take the time to consider that crucial plot point often do a fairly good job with the story, and some do extremely well when they either make the transfer the lynchpin of the story itself, or directly linked to the central conflict.
4159892 that title seems vaguely familiar
4159970
True. That's most of what separates the good from the bad in the genre. The other major factor is whether or not it's self-insert. A self-insert main character lowers the quality of the story significantly in most cases.
Alright... Tracking because there's hardly ANY female HiE's, and I wanna see what you do with this/where it goes. Good luck!
4159970 Right. For a serious Human in Equestria done right, see "Through the Well of Pirene". From the very start, we know exactly why the main character is in Equestria, why they have the body of a pony, who is responsible, and what's at stake (though this develops as the story progresses). There's a clear goal driving the story, and some fantastic bits of intrigue.
Then we have something like this. 99% of the time, the author thinks "hey, this is a cool situation, let's roll with that", does some writing, and then just leaves the story as perpetually incomplete having gotten bored. So what really needs to happen is either (a): figure out where the protagonist ought to be by the end and hurry to that point; or (b): work out the "why" and draw the story to a conclusion to that end. Essentially, before picking up the pen (or keyboard), every author should know how their story is going to end.
Not saying this is bad, not at all. Quite the opposite in fact.
4159986 Indeed, and that's often because the self-insert is based upon the author... who, more often than not, dwells in his parents' basement and has no life.
I, however, live on the second floor of my parents' house and make THEM live in the basement! (Alondro is an evil person..)
Anywho, my self-insert is in my second and most dumbest of all stories! He's the chronically drunk captain/crew of an interstellar salvage ship that looks like a flying space turd. (a very accurate self-reference!)
4160072 You know, that was exactly the story I was going to use as an example.
And it also takes time to truly flesh out the human characters, give them some complex backstory, create a detailed world... oh so many wonderful details!
The only issue I have at all with it is that the very young characters seem to think and speak more like experienced adults frequently.
It's often hard to keep in mind that little kids are usually pretty naive, unless like me they began watching the evening news and public television documentaries by age 3.
4159798
You said you'd seen this done for sombra and nightmare moon. Could I trouble you for the story names my good man/lady/insert species here?
4160154 hail to the king
4160154
here is a Nightmare Moon Fic.
4160218
4160335
Thanks.
Interesting premise; looking forward to seeing more of this.
I don't normally like for such a short story (currently) but I like it! I want Moar!
Not a complaint but an observation:
In this case it would be venomous. poison must be ingested to kill (puffer fish for example) venom is injected via various means (spiders, snakes, bees, and in this case; Changelings)
Feel free to ignore me if it so pleases you.
Hm….
To short.
4160668 too short* you uneducated baboon
4160760
teach yarself
Hoooboy did you ever caught my attention! Keep'em comming.
I just had to do this.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRbAZufq1rdEnM5URb2G9sQNiOvSTvAS39yO4xABdUQ2E7h1R51tQ
Oh Poor Frank
4160248
4160335
Thank you both very muchly. I shall read with all due haste
4160668 hehe that what she said
Oh... wait.. DAMN IT!!!!
Le Gasp! An intelligent rational response taking into account potential consequences?! In a HiE fanfiction?!! Are, are you allowed to do that?
.
.
.
Oh and;
4159970
Maybe a powerful god-being got bored and decided to just pop someone across realities for shits and giggles, a "Lets see what happens hehe!" sort of thing... I know if I was a powerful god-being I would do that shit all the time, just to see what happens.
4159970
4160973
Keep calm and blame Discord.
I like Frank already.
4161031 Nah, Discord is over used. I prefer Random-Eldritch-Horror-from-the-Howling-Abyss-Between-Dimensions-47. Unknown and unknowable.
4160549 Fixed, my good sir.
4160973 Fixed as well. My sincerest gratitude to you both.
Vary amusing so far and the part where Frank froze up just made me die anyway love it so far can't wait to read more!
4160857
Where did you find that?
Is there a bigger version?
Moar chapter?
4161301
No. She was referring to blinding herself. First the sun, then the glare off her chitin.