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Chapter 1: Arrival1,105 words
Chapter 2: Frank2,065 words
Chapter 3: Changes and Changelings1,626 words
Chapter 4: Wyrm Problems1,724 words
Chapter 5: The Flight1,892 words

Chapter 1: Arrival

Chapter One: Arrival

by DJ TR33

"God damn..." I said to myself as I slowly sat up. I felt like a train had just run me over, then backed up over my body, and run me over a second time. My head felt like a drum at a shitty rock concert, and every part of my body was aching at the same time. I groaned, and it felt like I was rubbing sandpaper in my trachea. I could hardly see anything, and what little I could see was a blurry mess.

In short, I had the hangover of the gods. "Last night must have been awesome," I said in a low rasp, wincing as I did so. My throat still hurt like the dickens. "I just wish I could remember it."

Slowly, I tried to sit up, but my body wasn't cooperating with me. In the end I just rolled over, face-planting in the sand. "Damn it," I said, or tried to at least. Unfortunately, due to my position, all that this accomplished was me getting a mouthful of sand.

I spat, trying to get it out of my mouth, but when I ran my tongue over my teeth I could still feel the gritty texture against my fangs. "Shit, this is going to be one of those days."

Wait-- fangs? Last I checked, I didn't have fangs. I ran my tongue over them again to make sure. Yup, I definitely still had fangs, and they definitely were still covered in sand. I forced my eyes open, ignoring my raging headache, and immediately shut them a second later.

"Jesus fucking Christ, that's bright," I mumbled under my breath. Normally I'm not quite that profane, but when I'm hungover I'm just never able to give a damn. Slowly, I forced myself to open my eyes again, and looked out at the landscape in front of me.

A desert was sprawled out in front of me, going on for as far as I could see. Granted, that wasn't too far since I was still squinting, but the dunes in front of me seemed to have no sign of stopping. The vast, uniform landscape was broken up only by the skeleton of some kind of small animal about twenty feet in front of me and the occasional tumbleweed drifting across the ground.

"Are you serious?" I muttered to the empty expanse. Now, I'm no expert on deserts, but I'm pretty sure that they can't move. And if they can't move, then I must've been moved out here by some asshole with a twisted idea of a practical joke.

That was when I had the misfortune of looking down at myself. Instead of my pretty average, 25 year old female human body, I seemed to be in a weird, black, bug-horse-hybrid creature's body with a black chitinous exoskeleton that was reflecting the sun directly into my eyes.

"Motherfucker, not again!" I screamed, covering my eyes with my black hooves. Unfortunately, one of the hooves had a fucking whole in the side, meaning it was useless for all eye-covering purposes. I let out another scream. It was a primal cry of fury, an expression, if you will, of my complete anger at the total shittiness of the situation. It goes without saying that none of this helped my injured throat and horrible headache.

If I hadn't been in such an intense state of rage, frustration, and pain, I probably would have been freaking out at the fact that I had been turned into some kind of horse bug monster. Ordinarily, I would have been trying to rationalize it, to say that I was dreaming, or in a coma, or high, or some bullshit like that. This situation, however, was far from ordinary. To say that it was a bad day of my life is like saying that Absolute Zero is chilly. In fact, it was already the second worst day of my whole life, right after the time my boyfriend dumped me and I ate three gallons of ice cream to compensate and right before the day after I turned 21. And it was just getting started.

I slowly squinted my eyes open again, and dragged myself into the shade of one of the dunes. This in itself was no easy task, since my whole body protested every step of the way. It wasn't made easier by the fact that all of my limbs were now completely different sizes from what they'd been before. Eventually I made it to the shadow, though, where I was able to open my eyes all the way without the threat of painful burning.

For the first time, I had the chance to really examine my new body. As I mentioned before, I was covered in a hard, black, and extremely shiny layer of... something, which seemed to function as some kind of exoskeleton. My legs were extremely long, and parts of them seemed to be missing, as if someone had taken an ice cream scoop to them and had just scooped out various parts.

Great, now I really wanted ice cream.

I also seemed to have some kind of wings on my back, although they were thin enough for me to see straight through them, so I doubted that they'd be any help for actually flying. By crossing my eyes, I noticed that I seemed to have something projecting from the top of my head, which I confirmed to be a horn after some examination with my front hoof. It was jagged, and when I pressed against it I found it to be sharp enough to actually break through the chitin on my right hoof, leading to a weird, viscous green fluid pouring from it which I eventually realized was my blood.

So, to recap, I had just woken up as a strange bug horse monster with wings and a horn in the middle of some god-forsaken desert. I couldn't remember anything about the night before, my entire body hurt, and I had a headache like Athena was trying to burst from my head. I had sand in my mouth, and my eyes were still smarting from looking right at the sun. I had no idea where I was, why I was there, or how I was going to survive for any extended period of time. There was only one word that I felt adequately expressed the situation.

"Well, fuck."

Author's Note:

Welp, here goes nothing. I've seen this for Sombra and Nightmare Moon, so I decided to get in on the action, and I hope that the as-of-now unnamed main character will be enough to keep it fresh and interesting. I have some of this planned out but mostly I'm going to be playing it by ear, so I'm just going to cross my fingers and hope it goes okay.

If you're offended by any content here, please write a comment expressing your anger. I'll find it hilarious.

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Max Caulfield

Max Caulfield #1 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 8 · ·

I love it! Continue, please!

DeepThought

DeepThought #2 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 5 · ·

Good start!

Proper Noun

Proper Noun #3 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 15 · ·

If you're offended by any content here, please write a comment expressing your anger.

I'm offended that there isn't more story yet!

But seriously, this is a decent start. Let's see where it goes. Likefave.

Rootbeer Dew

Rootbeer Dew #4 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 1 · ·

You've got my attention.

JumpingShinyFrogs

JumpingShinyFrogs #5 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Funny! Very much so.

MysticStoryThePegasus

MysticStoryThePegasus #6 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

FlyingMushroomxii

FlyingMushroomxii #7 · Mar 30th, 2014 · · ·

Bit on the short side but I love it can't wait for the next chapter.

TinyPootisman

TinyPootisman #8 · Mar 30th, 2014 · 3 · 1 ·

Ị̛͙̜̼̜̈́̎̇ͥ̚'̶͙̖̔̑̈̏͋lͧ̎̏ͪ̃l̫̼͍̣̮̋ͫ̏̓ͦ̅͡ͅ ̟̯̭͕̝̗̬̉͛͜b͔̻̯͖ȅ̮͂ ̗̇̆͠w͐҉ͅȃ̠̙͎͎̘͕̖͒ͤṫ̢̰ͦ̎c̶͉̝̮̜͑ͮ̓͐ͦ̓͂ͅh̻̝̫̻̗̚͜ͅi̇̅͏̯̥͙̰̤n͉̯̭̣̘̐̑̓ͯg̴͇̩̟ͨ͆ͤ ̢̳̖͉̹̙̉ͨ̽̂ͅͅÿ̼̰͖̰͡o̻͓̺͍ũ͋̃͊͘.̲͔͒͐ͪ̿

i.imgur.com/KdikzKO.jpg

Alondro