One-thousand years after her death, Luna is reincarnated into the body of a blind unicorn mare.
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At some point in that last scene, I apparently started crying and didn't notice until a tear dropped on my track pad.....not sure why it hit me THAT hard...
but for Selena's mother.
that a-hole
Oh god damnit emotions
Wow, the ending was a bit morbid....
Archduke Asshole McButtface is going to have a royal hell to pay.
That last scene, god damn. You blasted my emotions away with shock and awe.
-Missy
Honestly Archduke Black Spark is coming across as a Hate Sink character and I personally loathe them because they are not in any fashion interesting nor do I feel they add anything of merit to the story. They're there to hate and serve no other purpose.
4165526
Yeah. I don't really get it. Unless it's just that bad as story writing, there has got to be some reason he doesn't want Celestia involved. Frankly I find it odd that Celestia's not been sighted yet, unless she wasn't involved in the first place and the archduke is intercepting her mail and using his power to make sure that Luna never returns somehow. Makes you wonder if she's almost returned before.
I feel like Selena's outburst might have had to do with her mother being murdered...
Also, the archduke's behavior seems somewhat medieval given that we have a somewhat high tech society with refrigerators and hospitals not too far away.
P.S.
I'm kinda hoping this guard turns out to be a nice guy and gives her a decent burial somewhere out of sight.
4165583 Medieval how?
4165643
Maybe feudal is a better word. The other aspects of the world don't seem to jive with having a nobility that somehow has the legal right to have personal guards and execute people at will. It's vastly unclear if there's any national government besides monarchy and feudal lords and yet somehow we have baby bottles and cribs and refrigerators plus what sounds like a modern hospital.
In particular the story with Selena's parents sounds more like the usual than an exception.
That last section, yeah, that really makes this story a contender for a down-vote from me. That is extremely rare for me. It is just pointless violence and cruelty that doesn't seem to belong in this story as it feels like such a drastic change in the tone from the rest of the story.. With the description I expected something more along the lines of political struggles about the acceptance of Selena, not the following of a character there just to be hated. I have higher views of Hitler than this "archduke" Because at least Hitler had good aspects and did good things in horrible ways, this guy just seems like an all around hate sponge with no redeeming aspects.
The archduke really ruins this story for me. I hope that a reasonable explanation for his behavior will make itself apparent. Other than that it is really well done so far.
Keep it up please! I this story and wish to see more soon
What the fuck? So Equestria has no justice system whatsoever to speak of and Celestia just let's the nobility to whatev. I'm certain that even if Celestia herself wouldn't have to personally stamp off on executions, there's still be a High Court or Council of some kind that would oversee the matters. I fail to see how Celestia could let this kind of a situation go unchecked. Luna dying or not, if she's still so fucked up after a thousand years that she can't even stop tyrantical despots from running things, then perhaps she shouldn't be the leader anymore and let someone with an actual backbone and love for the country take over.
I'd agree with above statements. The Archduke is singlehandedly killing the story. If something isn't done soon, I'll hop off at the next exit.
...You know... I like to see cerain motives for certain characters doing certain things and when I am not supplied with these certain motives of these certain characters doing very certain things, I tend to get a tad angry... Because when I don't learn these certain motives of certain characters then I don't know why they do certain actions...
i.e...
WHAT THE FUCK?!
i.qkme.me/3ocjw2.jpg
Can we just have like I don't know, one FUCKING PARAGRAPH that just gives us a reason why the archduke does this shit? ONE?! That's ALL that anyone wants here, just something to explain it! I'm not even pissed at what he's doing either, I'm pissed because its not explained WHY he's doing it, and when its not explained WHY, then he's just a character slapped into the story to inhale assholitude and exhale evil.
I don't know anymore about this story, just because of that one fucking factor. Give him some depth and reasoning and this story will fucking get so much better.
But for now, this story is equivalent to SALT.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/2988543/f-salt-o.gif
4185970 That's next chapter.
4187111
It better be, or I'm giving up hope...
Wow... that last scene....
Damn.
If I wasn't the super morbid guy that deals with a lot of death then I would have done more than feel moisture in the back of my eyes. Sadly for me, I am a guy who's dealt with a lot of death in a short life.
Still, well played sir. I was expecting an assistant, not the mother.
Also, I honestly don't see why everybody down here in the comments is so upset. YES, its morbid. Yes, we don't know why hes doing the things hes doing. Yes, he seems to just be the super morbid bad guy. But, if you have been paying attention, he DID say that she was going to be executed. The reason being that he still believes in black-magic and deal making with Discord. That right there, though extremely sad and once again morbid would be enough for any extremely religious and or superstitious person, or in this case, pony to deal with. Especially because hes loyal. Or, he could be just trying to keep the chessboard clean of everything he doesn't expect and or anything that may get in the way in his match against an unsuspecting Celestia to take over Equestria.
Also, if your chickening out here of all places... wow... do you people ever buy REAL FICTION -in the meaning of actual published books, because this is honestly a story that deserves to be compared to actual books- and just stop a quarter of the way through the book because something sad happened to an innocent? Probably not. So why do that here?
Also also, its our duty as readers of an online currently publishing series or story to speculate reasons for things, not just abandon it because someone died for a yet to be explained reason.
Sorry if this is just a big ass rant, but seriously people? Also, please note, if you feel the same as them and see this, reply with a reason that holds up against all ^^this^^. I WANT to hear your opinion, probably just as much as the Author does.
Anyways, keep up the amazing work that I have come to know you for MadMax, your name is the biggest reason I decided to read this. You horribly brilliant writer, you!
~AnimatedGamer
Good gravy the archduke is nuts! We knew he was messed up in the dungeon scene, but this really focuses the spotlight.
Poor Selena, despite not having a true usage of the dream world she's definitely sharing her pain through it. I wonder how long it will take for others to start connecting the dots?
Keep going! ;)
this story reminds me of this movie
4263017 I thought the exact same thing as soon as the word Gypsy was uttered
I was so sad when I found out she died... then I remembered I have an imagination, so I imagined her not dead.... O-optimism right?
Next chapter please.
4352658 I am currently working on it, but it's slow going as finals take up most of my time.
Oh my gosh, how have I just found this please update soon
4518277 The next chapter is currently in the works. I keep a progress meter on my homepage for those who are curious as to when the next chapter will be finished.
4575340 FINALLY!
4576607 I knew it, you actual piece of-!... what's an endearing word for shit? I wanna tell you you're a piece of shit for making me think so hard about that song but I didn't translate the other words to mean that, but I don't wanna sound insulting because I currently love the story.
*flips a table in your general direction*
Have a buckin' awesome day you heartstring-pulling, reference-making, probably-generic-bad-guy-laughing butt!
...
Did anyone else start laughing at that last scene?
Becareful, your inner Twilight Sparkle is showing.
4748912
What a terrifying thing to say.
Though I can see where you are coming from.
The cruel irony of the "silent companion" is not lost on me.
/Luna dies
/reincarnated as a blind unicorn mare
/her dreams are her soul, her real self
All aboard the NOPE train to FUCKTHATSHITVILLE!
Too sad, that's why.
Oh wow this story is sad. I really like it though. Keep it up.
Hrmm...dark chapter. Interesting (don't know why people seem to be going apecrap over it).
To this point, the Archduke to me seems like a character fully immersed in his power (be it political or due to his family's standing) and doing what he thinks is right (to this point, I'm going to think he's got a thing against gypsies). He's on the lookout for cons against the crown and he's ruthless in getting his point out to any others who would think to pursue the same road to easy riches.
However...
If the Archduke is fully aware this could be the reincarnated Luna, it would have to be something in the history books to suggest she would indeed return one day (be it prophecy or Celestia herself letting everyone know....or just keeping a public diary). If this were the case, he might be trying to present the filly to Celestia himself for a substantial reward (sharing the throne with Celestia, getting into Celestia). His cold-blooded murder of Selene's mother, I think is more of a sociopathic aggression towards ponies who, in his eyes, don't have a purpose and therefore don't need to exist.
It's far too early as to guess what he's up to, but those are the two things I'm thinking of right off the bat. It's clear he's not someone you want to cheer for and would love to see the moon fall on his face.
Here's to hoping Celestia's not an idiot. Judging from how MadMax has written her before, she won't be. The old girl might not be fully aware of what's going on, but she won't be ignorant for long.
grew silent?
5157531 Fixed.
5157555 hes always gehting taller lol
First thing I thought about the crying fit was colic. Then that she cried for over an hour, not that unusual, especially with colic. My kid had that for several months. Would cry and cry and couldn't do anything about it but try and provide what comfort we could.
You are the filth, archduke.
Is it just me, or does the Archduke have a few views like Hitler?? That is a scary thought.
4185970 He let power corrupt him. It all but says so in either the prologue or the first chapter where he says he is the law. That is, in my opinion, the first sign of corruption.
... Dammit. Called it for the crying thing, not that I had time to write anything down... Poor Selena...
You know there is a total of three characters that I have wanted to actually strangle myself and this Black Spark is on the the top of the list. The other two are Proud Skies from "The Risks of Braving a storm" and Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter in that order. The top two slots are for those that have F@#^&* with someone's family in an inexcusable way!
Sorry about the rant just needed to get that out there... on a side note keep up the good work Max I can't get enough of your storries!
Deal with the Discord tradition, talking to already dead ponies...
MAN, THAT STORY IS PERFECT!
Am I strange in that I am more interested in the political landscape in and around this equestria than the death of Thea? I mean what kind of structure alows both celestia to be a source of protection from the Duke while at the same time allows him to exist and stay in power? Is what he is doing illegal? If it is then how can royal guards stand by and let her hang in plane sight? If it is legal then why would Thea think the princess would care since she passed the laws that allow it to happen?
How much you wanna bet she's seeing dreams and nightmares?
Nightmares via osmosis. The little filly is already brining her bad mood to the dream world and sharing her misery for all to embrace!
What a wonderful world it is spread the misery!
...is it wrong that I don't feel particularly sad?
I mean, damn, I expected some saving grace.
I got the feeling that something was very wrong as soon as he said it was a "good day" and from the word "courtyard", I just didn't expect her to actually die.
I was very hopeful that mother and duaghter could be reuinted, and I definetelly didn't think that 3 days could go by in such a short time.
and Celestia condones execution? For shame...
4748912
Dafuq is wrong with you?