• Member Since 6th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen May 12th, 2016

Peaceheart


I love Mlp, Pokèmon, Digimon and other fun kid stuff. I am a Cancer and I am also a Snake. Writing and Scottering and Swimming are always my hobbies.

Sequels1

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What happens when you put a meanie pants of a prince, a maniac villain, a old student of the princess, a changeling and two friends together? Chaos that's what! Figure out what Prince Blueblood, Mane-iac, Sunset Shimmer, Red the Changeling and Spring Berry and Fudge Brownie will do!

Includes: Mane 6, Big Mac, H.A.R.M.O.N.Y., Pinkalicious (Pinks) Cupcake, Racing Hearts, Peaceheart (Peace), Rocket Star, Neon Blitz, Marshdog, and Tiger Claw

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 5 )

hmm.....it looks pretty decent so far. Given the fact that you're a new writer, you've got a few grammar errors here and there, spelling looks good, and the format looks nice. The writing itself is a little wonky in places, and there's little detail in a few spots. BUT! Over all, for a new writer, it actually looks great!:pinkiehappy::raritywink:

A little word of advice. "Detail." That's the key word. In order to attract a reader and make he/she understand the setting and events, you have to put in as much detail as possible without taking the reader out of the story, if that makes any sense to you. Basically, put in more detail, but not too much. You don't want to spoil the story for the reader.

I hope I didn't offend you in any way. It seriously does look good for a start. And hey, you get to be a better writer as you go, so keep up the good work!

That's Shadowlux100 for the advice

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