Final Chapter: The Dance
It was Thursday morning, and I was at my locker getting my stuff for all my morning classes. I slung my bag over my back as I looked at my watch to check how much time I had until the first bell rang.
“Ten minutes,” I thought. “Good. I’ll have some time to relax before class starts.”
“Hey, Devin!” I heard someone say from behind me. I turned around and smiled when I saw that it was Kadeem.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing much, except that everypony’s been talking about the dance tomorrow. I’m telling you, if you weren’t the princess’s stepson, none of them would even care. The school clubs are taking advantage of the expected attendance by setting up snack tables for fundraising.”
I chuckled. “Now imagine if Celestia and I didn’t show up at all.”
“Oh, don’t even entertain that thought! They’d be pissed! Imagine all the disappointed nobles that were hoping to chat your stepmom up with political business and what not. There’d be an uproar!”
“Getting a little dramatic, aren’t we?”
“Well, that’s how most political ponies are, especially ones from Equestria. Anyway, I bet Celestia’s excited that you decided to attend with her.”
“She definitely is. She said that it’s the only thing that’s been keeping her going all week. Even Dad’s happy that I’m finally opening up to her. I’m actually looking forward to the three of us going as a family, but I’m a little worried…”
Kadeem gave me a confused look. “Worried? About what?”
“I’ve been getting headaches for the last couple of days. They’d hit me at random times during the day, and sometimes they really hurt. I got a really bad one yesterday during Gym, and I had to go to the nurse.”
“What do you think it could be?”
“I haven’t the slightest clue, and the nurse couldn’t figure it out, either. I just hope that I don’t come down with something before tomorrow night. Celestia would be really disappointed.”
“Well, have you had any headaches today?”
I thought about it for a moment. “So far, no.”
“Well, maybe today’s your lucky day,” the zebra smiled. “I’m sure it’s nothing serious. It’ll pass, trust me.”
“If you say so,” I said warily. It wasn’t that I doubted Kadeem; I just didn’t want anything to ruin tomorrow night.
Fortunately, I didn’t have a single headache during school, which was a relief. If I had gone to the nurse’s office two days in a row with the same problem, then she’d have to call Dad and Celestia. It was partially because of Kadeem that I didn’t have one. After I told him about my headaches, he made sure that nopony bothered me with questions regarding whether or not I was going to be attending the dance.
The less stress in my mind, the better.
When school let out, Kadeem and I said our goodbyes and I took the royal carriage back home. The first pony that greeted me when I returned (not counting the guards at the front door) was Luna. I ran into her in one of the western corridors.
“Welcome home, Devin,” she said happily. “How was school?”
“Better,” I answered.
“No headaches today?”
“Thankfully, no. Thanks again for not telling Dad or Celestia.”
“You’re welcome. We wouldn’t want them to get worried, would we?” Luna smiled, but then her expression became less happy and more along the lines of concerned.
“Although, if these headaches do start to get worse, you may need to seek some treatment. The last thing we need is to have a prince falling unconscious from a severe migraine.”
“Can you not jinx it?”
“I’m just making sure you’re aware of what you’re risking,” she told me with a concerned look. “Which reminds me, I’ve been in the royal library this morning researching possible causes of your headaches, and I found that they can be caused by subconscious distress. Have you had any bad dreams lately?”
“I don’t think so,” I answered. “I would have remembered, otherwise. Besides, things have been going great for me lately. Why would I have any ‘subconscious distress’?”
“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? I’ll be sure to watch over your dreams tonight in case I find anything.”
“Thanks, Luna. I appreciate it,” I smiled.
She smiled beck and used one of her wings to pull me close to her. “It’s Auntie Luna, Devin,” she told me, “and think nothing of it. I have to look out for my favorite nephew.”
“So I’m your favorite nephew now?” I joked. “Up until several days ago, you hated my guts.”
“Well, that’s only because I didn’t give you a chance. It’s all water under the bridge now, anyway. Besides, considering the fact that my only other nephew is Blueblood, you don’t have much competition.”
“What about Shining Armor?” I asked. “Isn’t he your nephew-in-law?”
“With him in the Crystal Empire, I rarely see him these days.”
“So I’m not your favorite nephew, just your closest nephew.”
“Can’t you just take a compliment?” Luna chuckled.
“Okay, okay. You’re right. Thanks Auntie Luna.”
“You’re welcome, nephew,” she said as she squeezed me more tightly with her wing before letting me go.
“So, Auntie, do you know where Dad and Celestia are?” I asked.
“I think Tia has been teaching your father about the royal duties today, but they should be done by now. I last saw them heading to their bedroom.”
“Okay, thanks!” I said as I walked towards Dad and Celestia’s room.
Once I got there, I saw that the door was slightly cracked open, but I knocked anyway.
*KNOCK! KNOCK!*
“Come in,” I heard from the other side. I pushed the door open and saw Dad lying on the bed with Celestia sitting beside him, rubbing his head.
“Welcome home, Devin,” said my stepmother. “How was school?”
“Same old, same old. Nothing special. How’s dad’s prince training going?”
“He’s practically exhausted,” she chuckled. “I think I taught him too much in one day. Political meetings, audiences with the citizens, paperwork, I think I went a little overboard in my lesson.”
“A little overboard?” Dad interjected. “You ran me ragged, Celly!”
“I’m sorry, Calvin,” Celestia pouted. “I guess I was so used to teaching Twilight that I forgot what a regular student was like.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at my dad’s misfortune, but don’t we all laugh at our parents’ expense from time to time?
“You’re laughing now, champ, but wait ‘till Celestia has to teach you about being a prince,” Dad warned me.
“I’m sure it’s nothing he can’t handle, love,” she said as she got up from the bed. “I’m going over to the watchtower to check on the city. I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Sure,” Dad and I answered as she flew out the window and upwards toward the watchtower.
I walked over to the bed and sat beside my dad as he sat up. “So, I guess you’re excited for the dance tomorrow night.”
“You could say that,” I smiled.
Dad chuckled at my answer. “I’m glad you’re giving Celestia a chance, Devin. You should’ve seen the smile on her face the other day when you asked her to Parents’ Night. It’s all she’s been talking about since then.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. She’s very excited. It really means a lot that you asked her, Devin.” He then let out a sigh. “It sure feels good to have a complete family again, doesn’t it?”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, it sure does.”
That night, at around ten PM, I decided to get to bed. I got under the covers and fixed my pillow, and then I straightened my crown on Misfit’s head again.
“’Night, buddy.” I said to him as I closed my eyes and drifted into slumber.
As I slept, I thought about the following night, the perfect image becoming clear in my head. Dad, Celestia, and I would arrive in the royal carriage, and it would just be the three of us as we enjoyed ourselves. We’d chat over refreshments, have a conversation or two with Kadeem and his parents, and then, when they call all the students to dance with their mothers, Celestia and I would be the first ones on the dance floor. It’d be the perfect night, and I’d get to spend it with my new mo-AGH!
I suddenly felt an intensely painful throbbing in my head, and I let out an equally painful groan. I kept my eyes clamped shut as I clutched my head and curled up, trying to endure the pain. After not having a single headache all day, I was hit with the most excruciating one yet. The pain was so agonizing that I honestly felt that I was dying.
“How does it feel?”
I opened my eyes in shock, wondering where that voice came from, but I received an even bigger surprise when I saw that I wasn’t even in my room. I was in some kind of grey, misty void, and it looked like I was by myself.
The pain in my head subsiding, I slowly got up onto my feet, only to be pushed back down to the ground by someone behind me. I turned around to look at my assailant, and my eyes widened when I saw who it was.
It was me.
“How does it feel?” he asked, and I immediately realized that the Voice, the Voice that was in the back of my head this whole time, the Voice that made it that much harder for me to accept Celestia as a mother, the Voice that was causing me these painful headaches, was coming from him.
“This is what you get,” he said with a vengeful tone.
“This is what I get for what?” I asked as I got up and dusted myself off.
“You know goddamn well what!” he yelled as he shoved me to the ground again.
“What the hell, man! Quit it!” I demanded as I tried to get up, only for him to kick me down before I could even sit up.
“I can’t believe you’d turn your back on Mom like that!” he yelled at me! “She raised us for twelve years, and you just forgot all of that to please some floozy princess that doesn’t even deserve to be with Dad!”
I got up on my feet again, breathing heavily from exhaustion. “I never forgot her,” I told my doppelganger. “There’s no reason why I can’t give Celestia a chance.”
“You can only have one mother!” he argued. “And Celestia is nowhere near good enough to replace her! NO ONE can replace Mom!”
“You’re right, no one can replace her,” I agreed, “but Celestia is every bit as good of a mother as Mom was, and I can have two mothers.”
“No you can’t!”
“Yes I can!”
My other self glared daggers at me, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. He then let out a scream as he ran at me, getting ready to punch me, but then, out of nowhere, a blue smokescreen appeared in front of me, blocking his path. The next thing I heard was a loud, thundering voice.
“ENOUGH! CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY!” The voice said, and a tall, feminine silhouette appeared within the smokescreen before it suddenly dissipated, revealing the form of-
“Auntie Luna!” I said in disbelief.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” she asked, looking back at me with a smirk. “I did say that I’d be watching over your dreams, did I not?” She then looked back at my other self, giving him a threatening expression. “So you’re the one responsible for tormenting my nephew. I had a feeling that his distress was cause by something within his subconscious. I should be able to make quick work of you.”
Luna lit up her horn to prepare a spell, but I placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
“Wait, Auntie Luna,” I said. “This is something I need to face on my own.”
She gave me a concerned look, but she eventually sighed and stopped concentrating the magic in her horn. “Very well,” she conceded, “but if you aren’t able to, then I will intervene.”
“Okay,” I accepted as I walked past her and approached my other self. “Look, I understand why you’re mad, but you’re going about this all wrong.”
“Don’t tell me whether I’m right or wrong!” he snapped, and he tried to push me again, only for me to grab is arms and hold them in place before he could.
“You miss Mom, I get it, but you can’t just reject every other woman or mare that comes into Dad’s life.”
“Let me go!”
“No! You’re gonna stay put and listen to me! It’s not fair for him to be lonely and miserable for the rest of his life, and it’s not fair to judge Celestia and treat her badly for something that neither she, nor anyone else, had any control over.”
I started to notice cracks of glowing white form on my other self’s body, and he was struggling to keep himself together.
“The fact is that Mom’s gone now, and the best thing she’d want is for me and Dad to move on,” I continued as more and more cracks formed on my negative half. “Just because I’ve accepted another mother into my life doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the one that I once had.”
It was then that the cracks began to glow even brighter, and my other self began to crumble before me, letting out a final scream of defeat.
My negative half now a pile of dust, I turned around and walked back to Luna, who was awestruck at what I’d just done. “Wow… You were able to face your inner demons on your own and win,” she said.
“You’re really that impressed?” I asked in disbelief. “I assumed you’d help others with stuff like this on my own.”
“Yes, but it’s usually with my assistance. I’ve never seen someone conquer themselves on their own… Even I couldn’t do it against Nightmare Moon. I needed the Elements of Harmony to help me.” My aunt then showed a small smile. “To be honest, I’m rather jealous.”
“Never thought you would say something like that,” I chuckled.
Luna’s smile grew and she ruffled my hair. “Well, don’t tell anypony that I did say it. If you do, I’ll simply deny it.”
“You have my word,” I said with a mock salute.
Luna rolled her eyes and lit up her horn, using her magic to wake me from my sleep.
I woke up with a jolt, immediately sitting up. I looked around my room somewhat frantically, and I saw that the sun was just rising.
“Sunrise already?” I thought. “I feel like I barely got any sleep.”
I rubbed my eyes as I got out of bed and blindly walked out of the door, thinking that a good breakfast would wake me up.
It was six-forty-five in the evening, and the Parents’ Night Dance started at seven. I had already gotten dressed, and was waiting for Dad and Celestia to get ready. As I watched some short TV shows to kill the time, I heard my phone ring.
“Hello?” I answered as I picked it up.
“Dude! Have you been on Twitter lately?” Kadeem said excitedly.
“I don’t have a Twitter, Kadeem. You know that.”
“Well, it’s blowing up right now! Practically everypony at school is talking about tonight’s dance! It’s gonna be packed!”
“I hope it won’t be too packed,” I said. “I hate having to squeeze through large crowds, and the fact that the dance has free admission doesn’t help.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it, too much. I mean, have you seen how big our gym is?”
“True. So, what time are you gonna be there?”
“My folks are insisting on arriving right when it starts for some reason. You?”
“We’re planning on showing up around five minutes afterward.”
“Alright, then we’ll meet up inside?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure, why not? I’ll see you then.”
“Cool. Later, Devin,” Kadeem said as he hung up the phone.
I looked out my window and saw that our carriage was ready to take us to the school. It was almost ten minutes to seven, and the ride was fifteen minutes long, so I just decided to head down to the carriage to wait for Dad and Celestia.
By the time I had gotten to the main entrance of the castle, I heard Dad and Celestia’s voices coming from another hallway.
“Are you sure I look okay, Calvin? It’s been a while since I’ve dressed this casually for an outing.”
“You look great, Celly. Don’t worry about it. The letter from the school said that Parents’ Night was a casual even, so don’t stress yourself out about it.”
“If you say so, sweetheart…”
The two of them emerged from the rightmost hallway; Dad was dressed in a short-sleeved polo shirt with jeans, while Celestia wore a long-sleeved, pink blouse with blue jeans.
She was right. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her looking this casual.
“Ready to go champ?” Dad asked me, and I nodded my head in response.
The three of us got into the carriage and chatted idly as the driver took us to the school. When the carriage pulled up to the gymnasium parking lot, we looked out the window and saw vibrantly colored lights shining out of the gym’s windows and doorways.
“Wow, I haven’t seen a Parents’ Night this festive since Cadance’s years at this school,” Celestia said in awe.
“These kids sure know how to party,” Dad added.
“Well, according to what I’ve been hearing, no one usually comes to this event,” I informed them. “My friend Kadeem said the only reason they care now is because there’s finally a student related to Celestia attending the school again; me.”
“I guess you’re quite the popular kid at school then,” Dad joked.
I scoffed in response. “High school popularity is overrated.”
“This friend of yours seems pretty smart, Devin,” said Celestia.
“Eh, he’s more ‘aware’ than ‘smart,’ but it’d be cool if you guys got to meet him. He’s actually here with his parents.”
“Sure, why not?” Dad said enthusiastically.
The three of us got out of the carriage and walked inside the gym, which was festively decorated with colorful streamers, balloons, and banners.
“He should be around here somewhere…” I said as I scanned the place until I found him. “There he is!”
Kadeem was standing with his parents by one of the refreshment tables, and I led Dad and Celestia across the gym to get to him. The zebra noticed us coming towards him and waved to us with a smile, and then he nudged his parents so they could turn around.
“Dad, Celestia, this is my friend Kadeem. He’s been helping me get used to Canterlot Academy.”
“Is that so?” Dad asked, and then he offered his hand to the zebra. “In that case, it’s very nice to meet you, Kadeem.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Summers,” he answered as he shook my father’s hand, and then he looked at my stepmother. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Princess Celestia.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” she told him graciously.
Celestia then smiled at Kadeem’s parents. “Jabari, Amisi, it’s good to see you again.”
“Likewise, Princess,” said Kadeem’s father.
“Or do you prefer to go by Mrs. Summers these days?” his mother chuckled.
“Oh stop, Amisi,” Celestia laughed. “You joke too much.”
Unlike their son, Jabari and Amisi had noticeable Neighgerian accents, and while I was initially surprised that they knew my stepmother personally, I then remembered that they were political figures.
Of course they would know Celestia.
“It’s nice to know that our sons are good friends,” said Jabari. “Small world, isn’t it?”
“Definitely,” Celestia smiled. “It was nice seeing you three.”
“See you around, Devin?” Kadeem asked.
“For sure,” I answered as Dad, Celestia, and I walked away.
“It was nice meeting your friend, Devin,” said Dad. “You two seem to be pretty tight.”
“Well, he was the only classmate I had that didn’t try to suck up to me, so I figured that was a good sign that we should be friends.”
My dad and stepmother had a good laugh at that little quip, and then Celestia looked at me and Dad. “Since we’re doing introductions, I’d like you two to meet some friends of mine,” she told us. “I think that’s them over by the bleachers.”
We looked in the direction Celestia pointed to and saw three bluish-grey ponies, two mares, and one stallion, standing by the bleachers on the east side of the gym, drinking punch and chatting amongst themselves. Their coats had a peculiar luster to them, which was unlike most ponies I’ve met.
“Bismuth! Angelite!” Celestia called, the two larger ponies barely hearing her over the loud music. They turned to look at her, and they waved happily as she, Dad, and I approached them.
“Princess Celestia! How have you been?” said the older looking mare.
“Just fine, Angel,” she answered. “Calvin, Devin, these are my good friends, Bismuth and Angelite. They’re delegates from the Crystal Empire.”
So they were crystal ponies… that would explain their shiny coats and peculiar-looking eyes.
“This is my husband, Calvin, and my stepson, Devin,” she continued.
“Nice to meet you,” we said.
While Dad, Celestia, and the two older crystal ponies mingled, I noticed the younger one sipping her punch quietly. She pretty much said nothing as her parents chatted with mine, occasionally glancing up from her cup to look at me.
“Oh, my! Where are our manners?” said Angelite. “We didn’t even introduce our daughter, Galena!”
The younger crystal pony almost choked on her punch when her mother mentioned her name. “Um… that’s fine, mother. I-”
“Oh, don’t be shy, sweetheart!” her mother insisted. “Say hello to the prince and princess.”
“Um, hi…” Galena said shyly.
“Nice to meet you, young lady,” said Dad and Celestia.
“Nice to meet you, too…” the shy mare answered.
I figured that she’d feel more comfortable if someone her own age talked to her, so I tried to reach out.
“Hi, Galena, my name’s-”
“Devin Summers,” she finished for me. “You’re in my AP Literature and AP Art classes.”
“Oh, I am?” I asked, surprised. I definitely didn’t remember seeing her in either of those classes.
Must’ve been because she was so quiet.
“Our little Galena is going to be graduating this year,” said Bismuth. “Angel and I are really excited.”
“I know the feeling,” my dad laughed.
After several more minutes of parental mingling (and my attention to the conversation going in and out as it went on), we left Bismuth, Angelite, and Galena. As we walked around, I felt my dad nudge my shoulder with his elbow.
“You plan on making a move on Galena, Devin?” he asked.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t you notice the way she was looking at you? She even knows all the classes you have with her despite the fact that you two never exchanged a word. If you ask me, I’d say she’s into you.”
“And what makes you say that?”
“She reminds me of how Celestia was when we first met.”
Celestia immediately gave him a questioning look. “I was nothing like that!” she objected.
“I’m only joking Celly,” Dad chuckled. “Still, though. I really do think that Galena likes you. Weren’t you a little suspicious when she acted so shy?”
“It’s probably because you and her parents were introducing us like elementary school kids,” I retorted.
“You don’t think she’s at least a little cute?”
“I never said that she wasn’t cute,” I answered, only to get no response. I turned around and saw Dad giving me one of those “I knew it” looks. “Shut up, Dad,” I told him.
All of a sudden, the music came to an abrupt stop, and the lights in the gym slowly dimmed. Not a few seconds later, the music started back up again, only this time, it was a slower song. I looked up at Celestia, and saw that she was looking intensely at the dance floor. It was obvious that she was thinking about something, and I had a good idea of what it was.
She continued to stare at the dance floor as other ponies got on and started slow dancing. She then looked down at me with a hopeful smile on her face.
“Devin…” she said. “I know you told me that you weren’t much of a dancer, but… I would really like it if we danced together, if you want to, of course.”
Despite the fact that there was a smile on her face, it was obvious that Celestia feared that my answer would be no.
Just like at the reception.
Fortunately, I had no intention of making that mistake again.
“I’d love to, Celestia,” I said to her as I took her hand. “You don’t mind if I steal her for a second, do you, Dad.”
My father smirked. “No problem, champ,” he told me.
With that, Celestia and I walked onto the dance floor as the music continued to play.
“Alright, I’m not sure how to start this, so I might need some help,” I said to her.
“Don’t worry. I’ve done a few slow dances,” she assured me with a soft smile. She gingerly grasped my wrists, bringing my hands around her waist. She then put her hands on my shoulders and began to move to the tempo of the music with me.
“I hope this makes up for me not wanting to dance with you at the reception,” I told her.
“I’ve long since forgotten about that, Devin,” she answered. “Let’s just focus on right now, okay?”
I smiled. “I think I can do that.”
Celestia and I got closer to each other, and she rested her chin on the top of my head. As we danced together, I closed my eyes and thought about everything that led up to this moment.
The day Dad proposed,
Moving to Canterlot,
The wedding,
The reception,
My coronation,
The fight with Luna, and our subsequent making up,
And the day I learned how much Celestia cared about me, how much she wanted to be a part of my life.
“Devin,” she said to me.
“Yeah, Celestia?”
“I know it’ll be hard to adjust to being a royal, but I promise to make it easy for you. I’ll be sure that you’ll be one of the best royals in Equestrian history.”
“That’s kind of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”
“I guess, but I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Like I said at your coronation, you have all the qualities of a fine prince.”
Celestia sighed as she held me close to her, the music softly playing and the other parents and students dancing around us.
And then she said something I never thought I’d hear.
“I love you son,” she said to me.
When she said those four words… for some reason, she didn’t sound like Celestia.
She sounded like my mom.
I looked up at her with a surprised look on my face, and I saw Celestia smiling down at me warmly, and for a moment, no, for even less than a moment…
I saw my mother’s face replace Celestia’s.
The two of them really were just like each other.
I smiled, hugged her tightly, and I told her something that, after everything she had done for me, she deserved to hear.
“I love you too, Mom.”
The next thing I felt was a teardrop splashing on my shoulder.
THE END
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Touching ending, for a touching Slice of Life story.
Good story. Though you may want to mark the story complete, unless of course your thinking of a epilog. In which case YAY
I'm sad it's ending. There's so much potential here. His college life, his dating life, potential siblings, etc. Part of me also wants to see backstory of how he and Celestia interacted when she and Calvin where dating. I also kind of wanted to see Blueblood whining about the humans coronation.
A very touching ending, loved it
sequel
Beautiful. Nuff said.
Suddenly, a nuke drops from the diabolical diabetic discord, destroying all life in a 200 mile radius!
Fitting music
*Kokoro no Kakera = Fragments of the Heart
“High school popularity is overrated.”
THANK YOU. Instant +50 cool points with me
The feels overwhelming!
4333075 yes please, like his college life, posible romance with a certain crystal pony. A fourth wall break into another story of yours
Punched me right in my feels man
I've been on the edge, whether to like this fic or not, from the beginning. At the end, I still am. It's got its good points, and its got its problems, but they mostly wash. It's a decent fic, but not good enough to fav or thumb up. I've had a friend where something similar to this happened, and while he accepted his step-mom, she never was his "mom". His step-mom accepts that, since he is an adult. I expected the a similar kind of outcome here, but it feels like the MC blamed himself for things that he shouldn't have and that's why he suddenly went to the "storybook ending". Though his actions might just be because my friend lost his mother later in life (he was about 11 when she died), so this entire story feels really rushed in that regard. It's been, what? About two weeks, story-time? That feels like it is way too short of a timeframe to deal with these kinds of issues, even if you count in the dating time, mature or not. Those are my major issues with the story.
Also, this doesn't feel like a sad fic. It's emotional, but not sad, so it shouldn't have that tag. I'd think the word hopeful would describe it better.
Will you make a sequel? You'll make a sequel right?
This deserves a sequel, I NEED MOAR!!!
portlandmercury.com/binary/317e/1363152393-moar.gif
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(Just ignore the fandom in the last GIF ;P)
Make a sequel pretty please with a cherry on top
4337719
You might want to read the blog I linked in the author's note.
4337911 Oh, ok
This is probably one of the nicest things Iv'e read all week.
Typing this with a smile.
4337911 You're a pretty damn good drawer.
I only found one problem.
Isn't his name Devin and his dad's name is Calvin.
4430301
Dammit. This is why I shouldn't have given them similar names.
As promised, here's the review.
well i spoiled myselff a bit and read and overlook a few chapters in the middle, at the first moment i hate Chelestia but know i like it how it went, probably because i am not that close with my father and the story is about his father and Celestia.
I thought maybe he would become Lunas Coltfriend, i mean the Mainchar, of course somehow she is his aunt, but he isn´t even Celestias true son. This would make it even better for me, i have to say it has getting my interesst. I have see some storys you written and after i like "Found You" and after this story get at least my interesst i think i will follow you and read more from you.
wow friend was a great story congratulations you are a good writer
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I like this story. Reminds me of my feelings of my dad meeting yet another woman in his life, but he treats her like a woman. This deserves to be a part of my all-time favorites for that.
4704855 cool.But( just saying) can't he be happy that his dad has got someone that can make him happy for life?
4704930 Like I said. It takes time. Some do it immidietly while others take longer. The angry voice in his head is his negative emotion. I had the same voice but once I got to know her I loved her. Nothing passes overnight. Even if it's with a princess.
4704930
He was happy for his dad, but he was also uncomfortable about having a stepmother. He was really mixed about the situation.
4705027 hmm... Okay.Cool story.
4709677
Actually, based on my experiences with other people, he's actually reacting better than most people his age. His inner voice may be acting immaturely, but he knows that it's not all about him and that he needs to support his father.
Great story sir. But your fans will need a sequel.
I need a sequel.
Now.
Please?
4824950
Sorry. Don't plan on making a sequel anytime soon.
4824967 okay but if you do call me I'll be waiting
4907721
You might be thinking a little too hard.
4907767 Having just finished reading the rest of the story, I now see that.
I would also like to take this opportunity to tell you how utterly superb this fic has been.
There should be a sequel to this!
10 out of 10.... you know what screw logic 100 out of 10 great story, I really like jow its shkrt but filling also.
IIIIIIIIIIIIII like it
nnnooooo i wish there was like 2 year later thing where he falls in love or something..... wait is there a 2nd book to this if there is ill break all my bone in my body
Good work. Sleep well. The feels will kill me in the morning.
5449349 ... Are you dead 0.o
6169910
Oh, don't worry. That comment was posted a long time ago, and I've long since converted him.
6169238
Yeah, the last time I watched World Race and Acceleracers was about 3-5 years ago.
Read this with an open mind and enjoyed it once I got through the first chapter. I cringed reading it, but I don't think I'd of even gotten through it if the ponies weren't anthro. Mainly chose to read this along with some other stories with the anthro tag to have a perspective on anthro stories.
6348140
Well, I'm glad you chose to stick it out and ended up enjoying it. Feel free to visit my other stories if you want to delve into the Anthro tag some more.
Iv put off reading this story because it didnt seem like something id like to read but im glad i was wrong i really like this one and after reading so many of your stories i cant wait to see what you come up with next
stayclassy
7725284
Yeah, looking back in this story, that's one of the things I would've changed if I were to do it over. Hard to believe I wrote this while I was still in high school.
7854167
I felt that it would be more impactful if it came from one of the nobles that wanted to marry Celestia rather than someone that's already in the royal family.
Fantastic story, though I did find a minor typo.
8317212
Truthfully I kinda enjoyed it I may save for the inner self demon type acting but I mean really he left his home world his step mother is the princess of te sun and well him and his dad were just them for the longest time?
I can say easily change is scary because it's not something one is use to
does the fact that this story really didn't tug at any of my heart strings make me a heartless monster?
PS I did enjoy this story as a fun little read, but I didn't really "feel" anything from the story.
8631921
Honestly, in hindsight, I don't blame you. When I wrote this story 3 (almost 4) years ago, I didn't really have a good grasp on writing emotional stories, and looking back on what I wrote, there are a lot of things I'd change.