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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A few missing words here and there making sentences odd. That ending tie in? Good stuff. I remember reading that story some time back.
Ahem
Purely for the record:
8405556
Called.
It.
8460136
Can you show me some spots you noticed?
Sweet chapter, that part at the end was quite shocking, Big Macintosh Apple is the Coltfriend to Princess Luna, didn't see that coming. Now if Gleaming needs a pony to help her with her magic why not have Twilight get in touch with Sunset Shimmer through the journal and ask her for her help, after all Sunset was Celestia's student and knows a TON about magic, nearly as much as Twilight herself.
It was at this point I came to the exact same epiphany, just barely before Gleaming did.
8460168
I imagine it should be, never been this good or never felt this good? That's one of them. I know I saw a second and maybe a third somewhere further in, but that is the only one that I know of, off hoof. :)
p.s.
Usually I copy em as I find em, but I was in a hurry to finish reading as I wanted to take a walk before I had to get back to work and that meant a rush job on the reading "slightly" more than I care for.
I'm glad there was the realisation that her father was right about how she was too emotionally unstable to be definitive in the decision to stay a mare, and I like the idea of her switching back and forth across the full range of possible gender identities.
I used to do that. What am I saying?! I STILL do that!
Which brings to mind...
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/disney/images/d/d1/Whinnyland.png/revision/latest?cb=20161017145055
Oh shit! I love it when good stories reference or converge with each other.
Keep up the great work, Klamnei.
Which brings to mind...
No matter how much you do, it'll remain... stationery.
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I find that, at the very least, it tends to interfere with any atmosphere the story might have been building.
In this case, my complaint is that it's got me feeling dread because the story is already packed with subplots. We've already got the original pregnancy subplot, Shining's path to Alicorn-hood, the nature of Changelings, possibly Thorax if his subplot has sufficient life beyond "the nature of Changelings", and whatever's up with Sunburst.
As-is, the story is already creaking and straining in its efforts to keep them balanced. (I had trouble enjoying everything after the Sunburst subplot, because I just couldn't effectively mothball my interest in it.)
As soon as the overlay cleared up enough to reveal that it couldn't possibly take place within the already-established settings, all I felt was a mix of dread and resentment. Resentment for something completely unrelated ham-fistedly stealing precious time from all of the fascinating things that are already going on. Dread because I'm now dreading finding out how much my enjoyment of this story is going to drop.
(Dread based on the fact that I've read gigabytes of fanfiction over the last 15+ years and I've seen many fics take a turn like this and fail... If any have succeeded, it's been so rare that I can't remember. Given a rough count of the fics I saved to disk after I started doing that, plus my guess at how many I read before I started doing that (assuming roughly the same rate of consumption) that'd make the odds of finding a fic where it was done successfully somewhere in the range from 1-in-5000 to 1-in-10,000 at minimum.)
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The "problem" with Sunburst was merely a reference to canon. It isn't going to be pursued.
8460919
Understood... though, for the record, it still has little effect on my stated opinion of the last few paragraphs. (To me, they still feel like a glaring and un-requested diversion from the story's core competencies.)
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Challenge accepted.
8460947
If it helps, I think the biggest problem is that the story thus far has been focused on personal, non-martial conflicts in a stay-at-home sort of way, while the ending paragraphs suggest the intrusion of something more martial, epic, and/or adventurous. (There's a very good reason that, last I checked, fimfic won't let you put "Adventure" and "Slice of Life" tags on the same story and it's the same sort of "One inherently erodes the other. Try for both and do neither well." situation that you get between the two extremes I'm perceiving.)
It also doesn't help that "*gasp* We have no conflict! Quick, add/buff a villain!" is the #1 way that promising fanfics with personal, non-martial conflicts tend to fail part-way through. It's trained me to not have a very high opinion of that "introduce 'impressive-style' conflict well into the story" pattern.
The focus will still be on non-martial conflicts. The introduction of Big Mac at the end has a reason, but it won't be as pertinent as I think you're fearing.
I KNEW IT
I really enjoyed these two chapters :D
Welp. Looks like time to go read literally every other fic you've got going so I know what's happening there.
Also not sure if Gleam was slipping due to stress (she totally gets a pass, given her situation), but "Shining" came up in dialogue a couple few times.
Continue this delightful work!
8460966
One thing to note is that the story being mentioned here is the sequel to this, a story about Luna and the batpony repopulation program. So, really, it's not bringing anything new, just referencing a side story already in-universe. Kinda, at least. I don't know/remember the official stance of how these stories are related.
Oh boy, I can only imagine how Cadence will be as the knocked up knockout.
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In that case, the problem is simply one of presentation. Putting it as a cliffhanger gives a false impression that it's going to take on a central role to the story, rather than being a secondary view of events that already have their own story.
(Sorry for taking so long to respond. I had a busy few days.)
There are missing words here and there, and the beginning with Cadance and Twilight felt a bit clunky until Sunburst arrived, but other than that, quite fun a read indeed.
Yeah, considering how air sick Shinning got during last episode (I am NOT countingthe leaked last episodes) that's gonna be a problem, there, Cadance
Does spike do more than act, what seems to be way less mature than even the show portrays him as… as of chapter 13.5 spike's actions are REALY off putting
Hey there, super excited about the next chapter... how's it coming along?
happy new year.
What happend to part of the images that were in chapters? They were good visual references into the life of our protagonist.
Is this dead?
8678738
No.
Untill when should we wait for chapter 21?
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8685205
8678738
I've been working on edits of the previous chapters while also trying to finish Bragging Rights 2, which has been walling me hard. I have eight more chapters to go through yet before I'm fully caught up. I've typed up a few thousand words of the next chapter, but not a huge amount of progress.
As far as the edits go, I've cut about 20k words from the story so far. All the changes are currently live.
8691807
Why have you cut so many words? That's quite a lot.
8691811
Redundancy. I have a bad habit of saying something multiple times in a row, only phrased differently. There were also several tell-y sections that needed to be cut.
8691807
Nice, no rush. Just got curious. :)
I'm getting really worried about how long this pregnant pause is. Are there any plans to continue this heartwarming tale??
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https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/798836/fecundity-old-chapter-revisions-finished
I've just reread this story with all the edits, I have to say I enjoyed it a lot! Your mix of world building, feels, and decent clop scenes that tend to be unique from each other is really appealing. Plus, there are honest struggles to go through.
After all, with Gleaming's new sense, that's a serious kick in the flanks about alternative paths she could have taken in life. While being a protector from danger is a key component, protecting from illness is probably going to be just as important. I don't think any of the other alicorns specialize in healing magics otherwise (even Cadance, who admits that she doesn't exercise her power nearly as much as she could), so it definitely is a vacant position to fulfill, and it's probably more important than most other royal duties.
I can easily see Cadance and Gleaming bonding more by exercising their domains together.
will there be more updates for this story?
just stumbled upon it and its nice
8814721
April 1st
Gleaming as a pregnant futa?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/17/981594.png
Oh, right. Crossover. I kinda remember that story. Holy crap, 2015?
Requested bug reports:
Extra line break
The? And I'm not sure if "info" is appropriate there, or "information".
"The strength of it for a while before"?
"She was smiling"? Free rein, not reign.
Things? Ready?
Missed a few:
This whole chapter was so
and beyond.And I hope we get more of Big Mac.
Oh great now she representing one of the main six entity of the universe
Sorry this is just colliding with my personal religious philosophy
That's the spirit, nothing is better than being a herm
Life, huh?
Remember the saying, "Live, love, laugh"?
They gonna be dating Pinks next?
Life dear friend, your domain is life and everything to do with, preserving it, makeing it, spreading it further, improving it. *continues reading but is prety sure hes close if not right on the nose*
edit: and several paragraphs later, bingo
and you were actualy quite right gleamy, life and love do go together, without life, love cant happen, without love, life is pointless the two need eachother.
9502826
May god help us, lol