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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Looks like Gleaming's starting to come to terms with the new body.
Also loved the spa section, dunno how Cadance is going to control herself once Gleaming starts looking term with 1.
This story keeps progressing at a nice pace. Very enjoyable.
That was just plan awesomesouce.
I think Gleaming Shield will not turn back to stallion.
Yay for thestrals! Great Story!
Definitely
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At the beginning of the sentence, I can't tell if that's supposed to be a beginning quote or not. (If it is then ignore this one.)
--
Instead of "I" put "a."
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Just separate the two different paragraphs.
--
That's all the errors I found so far. Also I found this:
static1.e621.net/data/27/51/27517409f9db06154ca02b0f3d84cabc.png
Thats one "for hours" too much.
So... the Commander clearly is ill suited to his position when he's reprimanding his SUPERIOR OFFICER.
given the conditions for the commanders return to duty, and Gleaming say that she wants more kids than just for, right before the little love session. I get the feeling that the commander will either need to find a new job or enjoy his permanent vacation.
Even if Gleaming doesn't have anymore kids with Cadence right away, I get the feeling she would be participating in the program.
Keep up the good work.
6770244 yeah. Looks like thats pretty much where this is headed.
6771310
Exactly. Think how pissed he must've been to violate protocol like that O_o
Well that Spitshine now have anything between 7 to 14 months to figure out what to do with himself.
Maybe learn an instrument, perfect a craft, help out charities, or just lug back and relax (not too muc though he gotta stay in shape after all).
B.R.E.A.S.T.S
I seriously doubt Gleaming is going to be changing back, I'm pretty much positive she doesn't even want too anymore...
Something tells me 'Gleaming Shield' is here to stay, permanently.
"he started rubbing just above Gleaming’s collarbone"
Horses don't actually have collarbones. Their shoulderblades are suspended from their ribcage by muscles alone. I assume it'd be the same in the MLP universe. :P
6777469
We can only hope.
Just to confirm, this is not male pregnancy?
6798192
it is not male pregnancy.
6798670 Ah.
6784861
I've seen people having problems with this before and I don't understand it. Equestrian ponies are not terrestrial horses. Ponies almost undoubtedly have clavicles, or some similar structure, because they lift objects over their heads. Without a support structure they would be lifting things purely on the structural integrity of muscle... something that really doesn't happen in nature. There is always a skeletal structure of some sort supporting muscular action.
...An exception may be seaponies. Water-living creatures don't, necessarily, need support structures because the water supports them.
With that out of the way, I really liked this chapter. The part where Gleaming SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING. in the spa so Cady could keep eating her out had me in stitches! Also, I know some people just want to have warm fuzzies and clop, but it was nice to throw in a little bit of conflict there for the first time since the beginning.
I Seriously hope they Name one of the foals Coconut Butter.
So what was with the spell Cadance used to make Gleaming's belly button pop out?
For some reason i'm reading this in a bit of a parody of the goose from Charlotte's Web. But higher.
Requested bug reports:
Prenatal. (You caught this one further down, just missed these two.)
It would be called ungulaecure because Latin for hoof
Not sure if this is just me but, the images don't seem to be loading. Perhaps you could check on them?