Spike's Heritage

by Palm Palette

The Receipt

*** Twilight's Library ***

Pinkie Pie gasped as the huge genealogy scroll bounced on the floor and rolled all the way out the door. She snagged a loose piece of paper that slipped out with her teeth. “Whaf's dis?” Her eyes crossed and she looked down at her muzzle. She couldn't read it, because it was in her teeth.

“Here, Pinkie, let me help you with that.” Twilight levitated the slip of paper in front of Pinkie, who gasped again.

“This is the most amazing thing ever!” Pinkie grinned, with sparkles in her eyes. “You can make things float with magic! Are you some kind of wizard?”

Twilight groaned. Pinkie was being unusually Pinkie today. “What's it say?”

“Oh it looks like somepony got their grocery receipt mixed in with...” Pinkie gasped again, going for a world record. “What!? No way! Spike, you have got to see this!” Pinkie snagged the receipt, leaving Twilight's magic dangling in the air, and slapped the paper on Spike's face when he walked in.

“Ack, Pinkie.” Spike peeled it off his face and held it out in front of him. “What's this?”

“Read it. Read it. Read it. Read it. Read it. Read it.” Pinkie bounced up and down. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

“Uh, sure, Pinkie. I will if you stop bouncing.”

“Sorry.” Pinkie plopped her rump on the ground. Her mane didn't stop bouncing, though.

“Let's see...” Spike held the receipt up to the light so he could read it better. “One 100% genuine purple and green DRAGON EGG!?”

“Isn't it exciting?!” Pinkie blurted out.

“Huh? Let him read it.” Twilight nosed her way in and looked over Spike's shoulder. “Spike, please continue.”

“Uh, right. Sold to the Canterlot University Archives for such and such... Hey, that's almost ten years ago. Uh, it was sold by... them?”

“Who, Spike?” Twilight asked. She squinted over his shoulder.

“Flim and Flam.”

*** Ponyville Boutique ***

“Spike, darling, do you have everything you need?” Rarity inspected Pinkie's new saddle and nodded satisfactorily. Pinkie's saddlebags were loaded with stuff for their trip. Spike opened one to check that the receipt was there along with the gemstones he'd packed to snack on.

“Yep. All set.” He smiled at her. “Thanks for the extras.”

“Oh, no problem. Spike, Do be careful out there. Pinkie, please watch out for him, okay?”

“Yep. Consider this dragon watched!” Pinkie swiveled her neck around and put her muzzle against his face.

“Uh, Pinkie?” Spike wasn't too keen on that.

“Yes, Spike?”

“Perhaps it'd be better if you watched where you were going?” he suggested.

“Oooh! Well if you need watching, just let me know.” Pinkie straightened herself out and hopped in place. Spike had to hold her mane to keep from falling off. He strapped himself in with the seatbelt Rarity added.

“Um, good luck,” Fluttershy was there to give her moral support.

“Okay, Pinkie.” Twilight rolled up her checklist. “I think that's everything. Spike, remember that you're only looking for information. If you find anything or need help, send us a letter. You're not to approach any dragons by yourself. We don't know how they'll react and we'll want to be there to support you if you need help.”

“Sure, Twilight, but didn't you guys say you were busy with princess duties, cider season, fashion crisis aversion month, Wonderbolts training, and the can't-miss-butterfly-that-just-so-happens-to-be-on-the-same-day-that-you-discover-your-heritage-and-go-to-meet-your-parents-migration?” Spike asked.

“Spike, what's important to you is important to all of us. You know that we consider you family.” Twilight smiled at him.

“And when you're family, you make the time,” Pinkie added. Twilight and the others nodded in agreement (except Fluttershy).

“Thanks, guys. That means a lot to me.” Spike patted Pinkie on the neck. “Let's go.”

“Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to find out more about where your egg came from. To think that we might actually be able to meet your real parents. Boingy. Boingy. Boingy.” Pinkie took off hopping.

“Ack, Pinkie. Walk please,” Spike complained. He looked a little greener.

“Oops, sorry. I'm not used to passengers except for Gummy and he never complains but he can't talk. I wonder if he would complain but I don't think he would because he loves riding in my hair and it'd be silly to complain about something you loved and–” Pinkie kept rambling on while she walked off down the road.

“Ya think he'll be alright?” Applejack asked.

“Yeah, Spike's a cool guy. He faced down a giant timberwolf. He can handle himself,” Rainbow Dash said.

“That's not what Ah mean. Do ya think they'll find them? Flim and Flam were kind of shifty. They're the types of ponies who wouldn't want to be found.”

“If anypony can find them, it's Pinkie. We know from the newspaper that they were last seen in Dodge Junction. That contraption of theirs tends to attract attention,” Twilight said.

“And if they do find them, can they really trust Flim and Flam? Ah know I wouldn't,” Applejack said.

“Dear, sometimes you just have to hope for the best. It's been so hard for poor Spikey-Wikey to grow up without knowing anything about his real parents. This is the first real lead we've gotten. It'd be terrible for him to come to a dead end.” Rarity sniffed.

“Yer right, Rarity. The best we can do now is wish him luck and hope for the best.” Applejack sighed. “And Pinkie too. Take care of each other, okay?”

*** Dodge Junction ***

Cherry Jubilee shook Pinkie's hoof. “Oh hello dear, it's good to see you again. Have you come looking for employment? We always have room for more hooves on the plantation.”

“Hey, that sounds like fun.” Pinkie smiled.

“Pinkie, we're here to look for Flim and Flam,” Spike cut in.

“Oh, and who might you be?” Cherry Jubilee asked.

“I'm Spike. Spike the Dragon.” He held his claws out for her to shake.

“Charmed.”

“Yeah, and we're on a quest to find his parents. We think that Flim and Flam can help us. From what we know, they were last seen here in Dodge Junction with that wacky contraption of theirs, the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.” Pinkie said.

“Cider? Strange, they called it the Super Scanner Cherry Canner 6000. I guess that explains why it didn't work very well. It made a mess more than anything and ponies didn't really like the end product. It was such a shame too. Something like that could have revolutionized our industry if only it had worked. That, and I wouldn't have minded working with those two handsome unicorns. But alas, it was not meant to be.” She blushed a bit.

“Oh. Do you know where they are now?” Spike asked.

“No, but I think they left for Appleoosa. I guess that makes sense with cider season underway.”

“Thanks, Miss. Cherry. You're a great help,” Pinkie said. “Onwards to Appleoosa!”

*** Appleoosa ***

“Hey there. Welcome to Appleoosa!” Braeburn reared up and waved his forelegs in the air.

Pinkie opened her mouth.

“No singing,” he added and stuffed a hoof in it. “The buffalo just calmed down after that last incident and we don't want to set them off again.”

“Would that have anything to do with a Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000?” Spike asked. He could see the orchard from atop the hill and didn't see any sign of the device. He sighed. “What went wrong this time?”

“Well in Appleoosa, there wasn't anything wrong with the cider they made. It did taste like cherries, oddly enough, but their problem wasn't cider. They got carried away with their production and over-harvested the orchard. When we told the buffalo that we didn't have enough apples left to make the pies for their annual stampede they chased Flim and Flam out of town.”

“Aw, any idea where they went?” Pinkie asked.

“They left Appleoosa in quite a hurry. They didn't leave a forwarding address. But if you follow that road south you might still be able to catch up with them. They ran out only yesterday.”

“Sweet, thanks. Come on, Pinkie. Let's go!” Spike yelled.

“Oh, this is so exciting. Boingy. Boingy. Boingy.” Pinkie started hopping again. Spike cringed.

“Walk, please.”

*** On the Road South ***

Flim and Flam hung their heads in shame over the ruined remains of their prized contraption. Their luck had run out and the buffalo had caught up with them. This was the third time, in as many years, as they had to rebuild it from scratch. The buffalo had been thorough in their stomping.

“Crescent wrench?” Flam asked.

“Crescent wrench.” Flim said, and passed off the tool to his brother.

“You think we're in the wrong business?” Flim asked.

“Not at all, brother. We've made a fine load of money.” He did make a convincing point but...

“And here we are the middle of nowhere with no place to spend it.”

The both signed. Their wagon was mobile again, but it'd take another week's worth of parts and magic to get it up and running again.

“Well, brother of mine. We're not nowhere. This road heads south to Maneami. They're in the orange business down there,” Flam said. “We haven't been to that town yet.”

“Oranges...” Flim sighed and rubbed at his apple cutie mark. “Perhaps it's time for another change.”

“Oranges, brother?” Flam asked.

“Oranges.” Flim nodded. “We can even call it the Super Sprucer Orange Juicer 6000.”

“Bing Bang Zam,” they said together and zapped themselves with magic. The apple marks faded and were replaced with orange themed ones.

“Brother of mine, let's hope for better luck with these.” Flim rubbed at his orange slice.

“Agreed.” Flam inspected his orange with a slice missing. It looked natural.

“Let's get back on the road. It's risky doing that and I'd rather not hang around in case some pony spots us.” Guided by magic, their wagon lurched forward but the wheels were uneven and after moving a few yards it collapsed again when one of the wheels popped off.

“Or not.”

“Aw, silly. It's not going to work like that. You need all of the wheels to work together. While it's awesome that brave little fight-front wheel wants to strike out on his own, he really needs to come to terms with the fact that his family can't function without him and return to support them in their time of need.” Pinkie Pie put the wheel back on and grinned at it. “See? It works better when they function as a unit.”

“Who is that? Brother of mine?” Flam whispered, in regards to the pink pony.

“No, who is that?” Flim pointed at the dragon. Both of them looked horrified.

“Thanks, Miss.”

“Gotta go.”

The hopped onto their wagon and gave it a good zap. Previous problems forgotten, it roared into motion and took off. Pink pony and dragon were left in a cloud of dust.

“Was that who I thought it was?” Flim asked.

“We'd best hope not,” Flam replied.

“I'm not always who I think I am either,” Pinkie said, popping up between them. “This one time, I thought I was Cake, but I was really Pie the whole time.”

“Ack!” Flim and Flam exchanged worried looks.

“Flim, Flam, I'm glad we finally caught up with you,” Spike said and hopped off Pinkie's back. “You see we found this old receipt that—wait, are those orange cuite marks? But I thought you guy had apples.”

Flim cringed and Flam swallowed. “We, er, that is, they changed.”

“Changed?” Spike asked.

“It, um, happens?” Flam suggested lamely.

“Oh neat! It happened to you guys too?” Pinkie asked. “I had an apple cutie mark once too but I got better.”

“That's something that can actually happen?” Flam whispered to his brother.

“News to me.” Flim replied.

“So anyway, we found this receipt for a dragon egg that you sold and—”

“Let me see that!” Flim snatched it from Spike. “Stop the cart!” he yelled and pulled on the brakes. It ground to a halt.

“Hey! That's mine!” Spike complained.

“It can't be.” Flim ignored him and held the receipt.

“But it is.” Flam looked at it too. “A moment please. I need to talk to my brother.”

“But–” Spike complained.

“We'll be back.” The two of them hopped off the cart and ducked into the bushes.

“So he's found us,” Flim said.

“So it seems,” Flam replied.

“We should tell him.”

“We can't let the pony know.”

“You can distract her.”

“I don't like this idea.”

“We don't have much choice.”

“Very well, but it's your head if she finds out.”

Done with their huddle, Flim and Flam poked their heads out of the bush.

“Yes?” Pinkie asked, with a huge grin.

“There's, uh, something shiny and distracting in that bush over there.” Flam pointed across the road.

“What!? No way!” Pinkie dove into it.

“What? Why did you have to tell her that?” Spike asked. “Now she'll be digging through that bush for hours.”

Flim grabbed Spike and carried him off in the other direction. He covered the dragon's mouth to avoid attracting attention. When he reached a clearing, he set Spike down.

“Hey, what was that–” Spike's voice trailed off as Flim let his illusion fade. What was once a unicorn was now a spiky armor-plated green dragon.

“Spike, my name is Flimuurstaz, and I am your father.”

Spike was left speechless.

“I had a dalliance with a serpent in the Everfree forest. He name is Goldie Rocks. It's customary, in a case like that, for one egg out of the clutch to be given the father. But as you saw, I live in disguise and could not be seen raising a baby dragon.” He sniffed and looked away with a tear in his eye.

“D-dad?”

“Yes... son. In a moment of weakness, I sold your egg. I didn't think it was possible for ponies to hatch it. Normally, it takes a concentrated blast of dragon fire to do so. But it seems a magical blast from a strong enough unicorn can work too.” Flimuurstaz looked into Spike's eyes. “Dragons aren't like ponies. Their type isn't determined at birth. They always take after the dragon who hatches the egg.” He squinted and snorted. “What then, does that say about you?”

“Wha-? B-but–”

“I'd planned to buy your egg back when I was through with my tour, but fate had other plans. You're a disappointment now. I don't really want anything to do with any longer.” He spat on the ground and stomped on it when it burst into flames.

“No! But dad, it wasn't my fault! I am a real dragon. I can make you proud!”

“A really disappointing dragon, you mean. I've talked enough. We should part ways before I do something I'll regret.” He sniffled again and fought back tears.

“But–”

“Enough! You must never tell what transpired here. As far as the ponies know, only changelings can walk amongst them disguised. Do you understand?”

“Dad, please. I just want a chance to prove myself–”

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

“Ulp. Yes, father.” Spike whimpered in a little ball. Flimuurstaz re-donned his disguise and returned to his Flim shape.

“Um, orange slice, not apple,” Spike said.

“I- thanks, son.” Flim paused. He scowled. “Just go.”

“Goodbye, father.” Spike ran off with tears in his eyes.

Comments

[Still Wearing Black]

Where the Flam did all those idiot downvotes come from? I'm thinking a bunch of Spike haters decided to team spam this just for the stupid hell of it. The premise is fun, the writing and grammar are both solid, it moves at a quick pace for the random way it unfolds, and there are cute jokes and fun humor aplenty.

[Blood Brandy]

An interesting idea, but the ending seems rushed and suddenly cut off without a real resolution....

[nemryn]

So, what's Flam's deal, then?

[Sky Dance]

This should have been marked random, not adventure