• Member Since 8th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2016

Butterscotch Cream


Everyone has a story. The question to ask is, what do you want others to read in yours?

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Source

Perignon owns a wine shop. It's simple, it's straightforward, it's what he's good at and it's all he needs. He doesn't need nonsense from Hearth's Warming in any form. In fact, anyone trying to deliver said nonsense quickly earns a shoulder colder than the blizzard sweeping through town. Everyone would be better off if they shut up and treated reality like it is: cold and heartless.
Cover Image graciously provided by Pyrestorm.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 21 )

Like and fav just because the premise and artwork now off to read!:rainbowwild:

That ending...:rainbowkiss: This story is very heartwarming! Like, Fav, and Follow!:heart:

Very well done, I must say!
And while there is a distinct similarity to A Christmas Carol, what you have done is distinctly yours, and is a delightful new take on an old story.
Based on the other stories of yours that I've read (and enjoyed), I was honestly skeptical about the lack of a romance tag on this, basically right up until the end. And though it's certainly easy enough to imagine that there's more going on here than what's stated, there is something refreshing about also being able to imagine a more platonic love between these characters.
And while I wouldn't necessarily characterize your stories as "gut-wrenching," I think "heavy-handed" might apply a little better—in some cases more than others (We Had Today, and A Love Letter come to mind). This one, however, doesn't strike me as either gut-wrenching or heavy-handed. I think it hits the sweet spot where you get your point across in a clear and meaningful way without coming off as preachy, overly dramatic, or what I like to refer to as "authorial wankery."
This was a genuine, emotional, and yet lighthearted story that I very thoroughly enjoyed reading.

Love the message behind this story, bravo!

And he used what he learnt about the idea of hope to help that family in the alley- bravo!
(added this story to few groups myself, this deserves more views).

Very lovely story. First, I expected simply a ponified version of "A Christmas Carol", but it turned out quite different.
And your story has a much darker tone than the story it was inspired from.
I really enjoyed reading it and this story remembers again what is important in life.
I will definitely submit it to Equestria Daily!
I just have one question:

That Perignon convinced himself of change his life seems a bit off, so, was this stallion really there?
Maybe a ghost or a dreamwandering being like Luna?
Did you intended him that way?

P.S.: I apparently can't submit it, sorry.
The submission form of Equestria Daily is only for the authors themselves.

3677906
First, thanks to everyone who's commented so far! I was (per usual) a little nervous posting this story, but the support has made me feel much better about it.

I was aware it wasn't as "strong" as some of my other stories, and I was a bit worried that's what people had come to expect based on my previous writings. It could have been written to be more emotional, but that wasn't what I wanted to aim for here. And you're right, I purposefully left the relationship between Perignon and Pinstripe a bit vague. I have my own "authors canon" about them, but it would've seemed superfluous if I'd tried to introduce it into the story. Readers may never know! But they also don't have to worry about it.

3685876
Hello Fluttercheer, and thank you, both for the comment and recommending EqD! It's alright that you couldn't submit it. It's compliment enough that you felt it worth being posted there. For your question, the answer is actually in the story, it's just very subtle. However, you're basically wrestling with the very question Perignon was asking himself and I wanted the readers to ask: even if it was a dream, would that necessarily rule out what the stallion said?

Actually, congratulations! You inspired me to make an edit :D Thank you for that.
:heart:

3686358

I'm glad that I could inspire you to improve the story!
It really is much rounder at the end now.
And I think I have to read it a second time now, to find the subtle hint about the existence of the black stallion.

And I took the opportunity to recommend your story in this new sort of news on EQD:

www.equestriadaily.com/2013/12/monthly-fanfix-001.html

~ Fluttercheer aka CMC_Scootaloo

This was a great story; I think better than the original story in some ways. The single figure, the black stallion, talking with and getting Perry to see and believe in himself again was very dramatic! I really liked the conversation in the hospital with Pin and Perry. Pin never gave up on his friend and that's part of what friendship and our fandom is about. The ending was good, too and not exactly what I expected. Thank you for this terrific story and for the message it brought to me, especially this time of year. I wish you hope and friendship in this season and all the new year!

Mmmm, pretty darn well-written. I appreciate how this is quite an Aesop, in that it's a piece that asks the reader to reflect on themselves rather than the characters exactly; it's very befitting of the season. Good job, author.

fabulous job - the pacing was excellent, the moral was well-explored without ever coming across as preachy, and the epilogue was simply perfect. you hit close to the heart with this story - awesome emotional impact by the end.

I know I'm pretty late for having this sit in my read later folder, but that was excellent. You really have a way of putting emotion into your writing.

That was one of the most beautiful things I have found in far too long. I admit that I was genuinely shocked to find something as pure, good, and simple as this story. A story of pure undiluted hope like this one is difficult to find...and that's why this story is incredible on a level that transcends explanation: in a world of darkness, there's nothing so strange, or beautiful, as a spark of light.

Thank you for making this :pinkiehappy:

3686358 Oh, by the way, this made it to EqD. And I am incredibly happy that it did, since that's where I found it :rainbowlaugh: this story pretty much made my night, if not my entire past two weeks. :rainbowkiss:

Now you made it to Equestria Daily, even when I couldn't submit your story!

Congratulations!:pinkiehappy:

"I think the fact people can be selfless..."

Shouldn't that be "The fact that ponies can be selfless" ?

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Hello Orchestral! Actually, the use of "people" was intentional. To me, "person" and "people" are not innately human terms. We would still consider a pony a "person" in the context of the MLP world, as in a sentient being, so I feel comfortable using that term. More info in the spoiler:

As an additional tid-bit, you might notice that the character never uses pronouns like "ponies" or "anypony" or "everypony" like others do. One line he does say may help clarify: "It can be anyone: pony, griffin, dragon, or any other race." The character isn't just talking about ponies, and almost never does. He's talking about sentient creatures collectively.

Thank you for commenting though!

You know how utterly RARE it is to find stories like this, that are against the cynicism but AREN'T going all "ooh holiday spirit" at you?! Pretty darn rare, that's how! It's really nice to see someone admit that yeah, how the holiday is, sucks, while at the same time still being GOOD.

You've already gotten a lot of nice comments on this. I don't want to repeat things unnecessarily, so I'll just say that I agree with all of the praise. :)

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