The Day We All Knew Was Coming
"It's pneumonia. We have her on broad-spectrum healing spells, and we are monitoring her condition." Doctor Stable adjusted his glasses and levitated his clipboard closer to his face. "She's stable now, and ready for visitors. You're lucky you got her here when you did, though."
Big Macintosh nodded. "She's gonna be alright?"
"If everything goes as expected, yes. We'd like to keep her for observation, at least overnight but possibly a few days; at her age, it's best to be cautious. If you'll excuse me, I have other patients to attend to, but you can go in as soon as you're ready." The doctor trotted off, placing his clipboard in the bin by the room's entrance. Braeburn's eyes followed him as he left.
Applejack cleared her throat. "Focus, lovercolt. We're here for a reason."
"What? No, he just reminds me of somepony." Braeburn snorted and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. "Whatever, it ain't important."
"Hmm." Big Macintosh lowered his head, lost in thought.
Braeburn placed a hoof on his shoulder comfortingly. "Hey, you heard the doc, cousin. She'll be her grumpy ol' self again before y' know it."
"This time." The mood in the waiting room darkened despite the harsh, sterile lighting; Big Macintosh had said what they were all thinking.
"Big Macintosh is right. What about the next time? Y' can't tell me you'd have a clean conscience if Granny was gone tomorrow." Applejack frowned, removing her hat and holding it to her chest. "I know I wouldn't, sure as sunshine."
"I- it ain't th' time for that sorta thing, Applejack. Ain't right to go an' upset an ol' mare when she's laid up in a hospital." Braeburn shook his head sadly. "She just got over the pneumonia, we can wait a bit before givin' her a heart attack to go with it."
"You think yer the only one with somethin' on yer chest? I reckon we've all got a thing or two granny needs to hear. We gotta be careful though; Braeburn's right about that much." Applejack planted her hat squarely on her head and put on a determined facade. "We're Apples, an' it's right shameful we didn't tell her all this in the first place."
Apple Bloom sat on a nearby bench, staring off into the distance with her cheek propped on her hoof. It didn't take a psychologist to figure out what she was thinking. It did, however, take Braeburn.
"Hey. You holdin' up okay, little cousin?" Braeburn took a seat beside her.
"I'm just worried about Granny." She sighed and lowered her gaze. "I don't even know what t' say about this. She's been around longer'n any of us an' it just hit me that she won't be there forever."
"She's gonna pull through, Apple Bloom. What say we go in there and lift her spirits a little?" Braeburn took off his hat and placed it on Apple Bloom's head. "I'll let you wear my hat."
Apple Bloom scowled. "I'm not a baby."
"Well I never did say you were. You still wanna wear the hat, though." Braeburn smiled wanly at her, his grin not quite reaching his eyes.
"...Yeah." She sighed and stood up. "Let's get this over with."
"Missus Smith? You have visitors. Your grandfoals." Nurse Redheart let Applejack, Braeburn, Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh into the hospital room.
"I'm old and sick. That don't mean I'm blind. Come closer, I don't wanna shout 'less I have to."
The quartet approached her hesitantly, their thoughts conspiring to stay their hooves. Redheart let herself out. "I said closer." They inched forward, crowded around the hospital bed.
For a moment, nopony said a word. Each looked to another to break the silence, uncertain of what to say. Finally, Granny spoke. "Ya came a long way not to say anythin' to yer granny, Braeburn. Cat got yer tongue?"
"No ma'am. You, uh. You feelin' okay?" He smiled awkwardly at her, trying to force a casual tone into his voice.
"I'm a hunnerd-seventeen years old and I'm in a hospital, young colt. How you think I'm feelin'?"
"Um. Not all that great, I'd imagine?" He laughed nervously.
"Feelin' dandy, actually! They got me on enough o' them pain spells t' make a buffalo catch some shut-eye. I'm only still awake out of the goodness of my heart."
Another awkward silence loomed overhead. "Well? I know y'all ain't stickin' around t' watch an old nag talk to herself. Y'all're thinkin' ya' got some big secret granny needs t'know about so's she can't go to Celestia's garden without knowin' first." She muttered in what she thought was beneath her breath, "ain't like I won't know when I get there." In a more conversational tone she said, "You first, Braeburn, since ya've said more'n th' rest of 'em put together."
"Oh. Well, uh." He hesitated, visualizing a bottomless precipice with him standing at the top. Was he brave enough to throw himself off and see what happened? He steeled himself with a calming breath. "Well, Granny. I like stallions. Always have."
"No shit, Braeburn. Ya think yer granny's blind? Why I remember that one family reunion when you gave that Orange colt a flower." She cackled, a disturbing sound that was not helped by the fluid built up in her lungs. "Or that Caramel feller, always followin' you around an' carryin' yer stuff. Don't know why y' think ya gotta dance around it, but I figured, hey, no need fer you t' call 'im on it, Granny. He'll tell ya when he's ready."
"...You didn't like it when I took Mo' t' see Equestria."
"Ya left two weeks before th' harvest! Course I was angry." She nodded as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "So when're ya gonna make an honest stallion out o' Caramel?"
"Granny, he has a marefriend."
"An' he's got a coltfriend too! Everypony thinks Granny don't see anything anymore, but I do." Granny grinned wickedly at him in the way only very old mares seem capable of performing. "Come see Granny when she gets t' feelin' better, I'll tell ya a thing or two t' help seal the deal."
"I... Granny, I don't know as I'd be comfortable with that."
"Well you just think on it. Granny'll keep. Yer next, Apple Bloom. I see ya hidin' behind yer sister."
"M- me?" Apple Bloom grimaced and pulled Braeburn's hat down over her face to block her view of Granny. "Well, uh, it's nothin' all that serious, but I got feelins fer somebody I ain't told because I didn't know how you'd take it, Granny. He's, uh, not an earth pony."
"Filly, do y' honestly think Granny worries about that kinda thing? Who is he?"
"Well, he's not a pony at all. His name's Spike, he's-"
"Spike?" Granny cut her off, rubbing her chin with a fetlock. "Purple dragon feller, works up at th' library?"
"Yes'm, I know he ain't like us but-"
"He was practically raised a pony. Hard worker, even though he can't buck apples worth a buck." She nodded in approval. "Explains why y' keep findin' excuses t' have him help with yer chores, too. If'n you can find one o' them literary types that ain't afraid of gettin their hooves-- or claws-- dirty, jump on that with all four hooves 'cause I could care less if he's a timberwolf."
Apple Bloom had prepared herself for many things, but utter acceptance and even encouragement wasn't one of them. She sat down on the floor next to Braeburn, similarly speechless.
"Well? You got somethin' t' say, Big Macintosh?" Granny smirked at him. "Somethin' y' wanna get off yer chest fer Granny?"
"Eeyup." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his nearly constantly relaxed features becoming even more composed. "I asked Cheerilee if she wouldn't do me th' honor of becomin' an Apple."
"Oh, that's fine, everyp- what." Granny's easygoing, pain-killer addled demeanor darkened in a moment as soon as her ears caught up to what her grandson had said. "That prissy little filly with th' kinks in her mane an' them earrings that's always tormentin' yer sister?" She pounded her hoof roughly-- and futilely-- into the mattress.
"Granny..." Applejack cleared her throat. "I'm not gonna lie an' say me an' Cheerilee are the best of friends, but we put school behind us a long time ago. I'm friends with Rarity now, an' she was worse'n Cheerilee ever thought about bein'."
"Hush up, Applejack. I'm chewin' out yer brother an' trust me when I say you don't wanna get in th' way." She turned back to Big Macintosh. "Where was I? Oh yes. I'd just as soon y' married Magnum's daughter, what'shername, makes dresses, as marry Cheerilee."
"Why doesn't Granny like Miss Cheerilee, sis?" Apple Bloom tugged at Applejack's tail.
"Granny ain't too good at lettin' go of the past, Apple Bloom." She returned her gaze to Granny. "Granny, that was a long time ago, an' they're both better ponies now. Cheerilee was Apple Bloom's favorite teacher, fer cryin' out loud!"
"She was my only teacher."
"Point stands, AB."
Granny Smith grumbled. "Fine. I just know she's gonna be a terrible mother. Watch and see fer yerselves though, nopony needs t' listen t' Granny or nothin', s'not she ain't been around fer almost a hundred years longer than any of ya." She crossed her hooves over her chest with a 'hmph'. "That all, Big Macintosh?"
"Eeyup."
"Thought so. Applejack? It's yer turn."
"Ain't really got nothin' t' hide, granny." Applejack continued to be a terrible liar.
"That's good. So I suppose you'll be invitin' yer marefriend t' come see us fer dinner sometime?"
"...I didn't think you knew about me an' her, Granny."
"Don't know why y'd think I'd have a problem with it. Lotsa unicorns an' earth ponies get together, nothin' wrong with that."
"...Elephant in the room here, Granny, but I figgered ya'd flip yer lid over me seein' a mare."
Granny burst out laughing, stopping only once the laughter turned to coughs, and then to hacking coughs. "We didn't have all this fancy magic mumbo-jumbo when I was a filly. None of yer refrigerators, or them vidya games, or ponyless carriages. Nopony'd even gotten around t' makin' th' hoop on a stick yet! We had t' make our own entertainment. Think yer granny never got her beanfield plowed by a mare?"
Big Macintosh and Braeburn blushed and covered their ears, staring at Granny as though they weren't certain what they had heard. Applejack would have joined them, but she was too busy covering Apple Bloom's ears.
"Quit that. Nothin' wrong with a mare tryin' t' find out what she likes. Y' think ponies didn't start rollin' in th' hay til ya'll came along or somethin'?"
"No ma'am granny, I just didn't think about it, I reckon." AJ shuddered. "I'd like t' go back t' not thinkin' about it now if that's alright."
"As long as you promise t' stop hidin' that marefriend of yers, ya got a deal."
"Yes'm, Granny."
"Got a good pair of hips on her."
"... Yes'm?"
"Good hips for havin' foals."
"...Yes'm." A thousand unsaid questions and objections passed through Applejack's head, but she said none of them out loud.
"Now that that's settled, y' best rush off, Granny ain't gonna get any better if y'all keep botherin' her." She rolled over in bed theatrically, pulling a blanket over her face. "Hit th' lights on yer way out."
The four stumbled awkwardly out of Granny's now darkened room, distinctly unsettled. Unspoken questions passed between them as they made their way back to Sweet Apple Acres for the evening. Finally, Apple Bloom broke the silence.
"Applejack, are you really datin' Rarity?" Her face was set in a grin larger than seemed possible, mixed with a little touch of admiration.
"What? No. I ain't datin' anypony, sis."
"Why not?"
"I ain't any more comfortable talkin' about this with my little sister than I was with Granny. I'm kinda seein' somepony but we're not really datin'."
"Oh! Friends with benefits! I've heard about that." Apple Bloom smiled proudly at her sister. "Why not just tell Granny that?"
"Are y' kiddin', Apple Bloom? She's old an' set in her ways, she'd never understand."
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Ha! Applejack still doesn't understand Granny.
awesome!
3386154
No she does not.
3386171
Thanks!
3386177
I mean, I love it. Misunderstanding is just as important a theme as understanding.
This feels oddly familiar.
Still funny,
3386266
I'll be the first to admit that Granny Disapproves was probably still in the back of mind when I wrote this, but I tried not to write the same story.
3386288
Oh hey, I remember reading that one. Darn, I guess I wasn't being original when I wrote mine. Huh, oh well.
So...who's the friend with benefits?
3386676
I intend to answer that question in a later fic.
Well, this was quite an enjoyable read.
3388439
Thank you!
Loved it. Every part was great.
3389460
I'm glad you liked it, thanks for another favorite.
Haha, that ending. Yeah, I've never understood why people like to treat elderly folks like they're innocent children, as if they hadn't been having sex since before our parents were born. Not thinking about it isn't the same as pretending it never happened.
3391784
Yeah, exactly.
That ending was beautiful haha
oh my gosh, that was good read! I thought it would take a sadder tone since they were telling Granny all of this because they thought she'd be dying soon, but it was only mentioned here and there, I really liked that. The secrets they had to tell were thoughtful and had a different reaction than I thought. They were diverse for the most part, I'm glad you didn't just reuse the coming out of the closet theme for all of them. Very nice story, a like and a fave you receive!
now I wonder who Applejack is seeing...
3513295
I'm glad you liked it, I'm planning on revealing who AJ's buddy is in a later fic. Thanks for the fave!
?? WHAAATT!?!?
.............
After how easy (almost easy except Big Mac's revelation) that all went you don't THINK SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND??
Good story though.
3575974
Thanks.
Yeah, AJ did not learn this episode's lesson.
Granny Smith is best crotchety old lady. Bar none.
Can't wait to read this!! I hope to god this'll be good and sad. I'll have to read it when I have time though TwT
I was expecting they'd just all be gay. XD This was funny. Though I kind of feel like I'm missing a piece of information at the end...?