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In the wake of his sister's coronation as Equestria's newest alicorn princess, Shining Armor realizes for the first time he has assumed far too much about the godlike winged unicorns. Princess Cadance explains to him what she is and where she came from.
AN: Written for One-Shotober, loosely inspired by G. M. Berrow's Twilight and the Crystal Heart Spell.
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Pretty well done, good job on bringing in the story and expanding on it. The only complain I have, Celestia seems far to willing to pull Cadence away from the only family she knows and Cadence in turn is too accepting of leaving her family. Sorry this is a good story and you got a thumbs up from me but that part will just irk me since neither one seems to be in character.
I liked the ending.
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Yeah... Honestly that bugged me too but I really couldn't think of a way to fix it.
This is gorgeous! I love it so much dude! Just, you're a great writer! I think you should be in the tops with shortskirtsandexplosions and Pen Stroke. No kidding, your awesome...
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Aww, stop...
I'm glad you think so, and I hope someday other people do too.
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Finally I made a comment and no one wants to put my head on a platter... don't ask.
All I can think of is to add a line with Cadence asking "What about my parents" and go off from there
Good up beat piece.
UVF'd
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I'm generally pretty easy-going. Probably going to start rewriting that bit as soon as I'm done writing this comment, actually. Thanks.
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Ohmigosh
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You're welcome. This is a fine story, despite the rough part we both think needs work, hell you got me thinking on how to incorporate the Crystal Heart Spell into my headcanon.
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Alright I put it through a few passes and I think I'm happy with this one.
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Of course, good luck with whatever you do.
Here is your one free review as promised...
First: Grammar was good but I did find a few sentances that could have been written better.
Second: A couple of plot gripes
I don't thnk an entire town would listen to a small girl from the outskirts of town(even if they were sane)
Save a pony/town = alicorn??? I mean, don't get me wrong. It makes much more sense than the show. (Oh hi random alicorn!) But if that were the case then wouldn't ALL of the main six be alicorns? Or is that just me?
And Cadance changing a pony's outlook on life after only three days? Seems a bit sudden, a week would have been more believeable.
All in all a good piece of work, you win a thumbs up.
"They are the alicorns we need, but not the alicorns that we deserve . . ."
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
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On the second last point, I wouldn't find it surprising if it came to pass...
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Alicorns are Made, Not Created
...except Tia and Luna. Because they're goddesses. And their hair is magnificent!
...no offense to your hair, Princess Cadence, it's just not as regal and flowing as theirs!