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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Given the direction the story seemed to be headed in, I almost thought Gilzia/Celestia was there for a different kind of ball...
I can only wonder what will be the folks's reactions when seeing Eric for the first time.
And about going to Vivmay's house, why is that a problem?
3690605 LOL oh I see what you did there I already know if there is going to be any romance in the story and between who, but it sure is fun teasing everyone (especially Eric) into coming up with their own conclusions until then.
But at least we now know that Wipziv was wrong about him jumping the bones of the first mare that gave him the opportunity, too bad that he can't tell anyone about it though. LOL
3690816
By the way, keep up the awesome work! This is one of the best fics I have read!
3690805 He hates shopping for clothes, and being as he's bigger than the normal pony and I'm sure the Equestrians don't have a spare set of Air Force Mess Dress Blues for our Technical Sergeant laying around he'll have to endure being measured EVERYWHERE by our favorite seamstress.
3690830
Oh boy, what if Vivmay is in heat too???
He better be prepared for this!
3690826 I'm glad you like it so far I have a lot still to do and I'm jonesing really bad to just tell everyone where this story is going to be going and how it'll end. But I'll be good and resist the urge because we still have a long way to go before we see the light at the end of this tunnel.
3690836
Well, I would rather wait for a new chapter and keep the suspense than ruin it with spoilers anyway.
Is Eric going to ride the plane?
3690834 I'm going to try and go easy on the heat thing, not wanting to turn this into a clop story (shocking I know an anthro HiE with a military protagonist and it's not a clop)... well maybe not yet but it will get steamier in future chapters way down the road. For now we'll keep this classy. *snicker*
Heat is basically going to be similar to a human woman's hormone cycle. During time of a mare's estrus she'll be more horny and possibly aggitated and they only go through it a couple times of the year, but not to the point where she's raping anything that remotely looks like a d**k.
3690853 MMMMMMMMmmmmaybe
Or something drastic might happen to keep him from ever completing the plane. I guess we'll never really know till I write it down.
All right. Thank you for the information and answers, since I was having some doubts on my head.
3690885 Not a problem always willing to explain something, as long as it doesn't interfere with anything planned for future chapters. At which point all answers will be as clear as a piece of acid-etched glass.
thewritepractice.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/may-i-have-some-more.-or-is-might-600x342.jpeg
3691478 I'll try to have the next chapter out as soon as possible. Let's hope it's as popular as this chapter seems to have been. LOL j/k
Great fic.
Some more daily interaction between the others would be nice. Like with helping Paxilla, a little more expansion on things like that would be nice.
Loking forward to the next chapter. One of the few fics that have earned my email notification approval for ASAP reading.
He's going to get some booty haha.
The names and who they belong to can get hard to follow when they are used as little as they are.
3693805 Lucky for you that's pretty much going to be the premise of the next couple of chapters.
Glad you like it so far and hope I continue to meet expectations.
3694218 Yeah I get it, it's a little hard to associate a new name with a character that already has a well known canon name, but I hope as there is more interaction between Eric and the others the names will become easier to associate with their intended characters.
3696280 So far, the only one I clearly remember is Xam, the rest I have to guess based on their use.
3693902 We shall see. Unfortunately for him the bond and his magic neutralizing make it a little difficult for him to resist the temptation when it comes to the two celestial princesses. Doesn't also help that their naked and in season. I guess we'll just have to see if he has the will power to resist the little voice in his head yelling at him to just take the dm gift when it's handed to him.
3696294 I have to apologize for that then I shall try to make an effort to use the names more often or at least add more descriptive fluff when using them so that it is easier for readers to know who it is until the characters have become more consistent.
Thank you for the advice.
3696318 Now that I have you, do you use any kind of translation code, or do you just make up words as you go along?
3696383 I mainly use a A=E and occasionally an A=H cipher to convert the character's English canon name into the version of the Equis language that I use.
3696318
You could always use this trope.
3696570 I thought about that, but then I thought it would be too confusing to the reader to have certain characters be called a strange name for like 10 chapters and then be called by their real name. Also there came the part of the story, like right now, where Eric is trying to learn Equis so there are words he does understand and others that he doesn't and I was hoping that the confusion he would have over the unknown words would be conveyed to the reader.
So in the end I went with the main way I had seen other authors do in similar stories where a character is put in a place where they don't know the language (Exp. Princess of Mars, The Destroyermen series, Shogun, etc.), and use normal text for understood language by our protagonist and italics for unknown.
3696612
I meant for the names alone.
For example
becomes
The only real complaint I've had/seen with this story is the lack of clarity when it comes to names and this appears to be the easiest solution.
Besides you can always add an Author's note/Blog post explaining the change.
3696676 I can see the point and that's the main problem I'm having with doing a "fan" fiction as opposed to an "original" fiction. Because if it was an original story that wasn't based on any pre-existing material then it wouldn't be odd or confusing to keep calling a character "Xamspona" as opposed to "Twilight", or they may not know that the translator "Wipziv Sykri" 's name really means "Silver Tongue" . Because in the end I don't wish to deter anyone from giving the story a chance because none of the characters/ places are named what they're used to seeing.
Yet at the same time do I want to take away an element that I think adds realism to the narrative as the reader continues to explore this new world with the protagonist?
In the end whatever I decide to do I'll need to do it and stick to it before the Ball arrives. Because, as mentioned, during the Ball Eric is going to be introduced to and meet many of the different species of the planet, who all have their own individual languages.
3704178 Not a problem, I personally love it when someone gives me a detailed explanation on something that they noticed might be wrong. I'm here to improve my writing ability like everyone else and I like helping to explain why I made certain decisions when I did when writing those particular scenes. Because all the answers on why may not be there yet or may not go with the first person structure(at least I think so , this is my first story in first person)
The point of Eric's anger early in the story I felt was justified, because he was in an unknown place, with unknown creatures, and with no way of understanding them, along with not knowing how he got there and how to get home. All he knows is that he should be dead from falling out of a plane, he's got crazy zombie wooden wolves trying to kill him, he's trying to help a strange looking woman/creature who speaks in a language he doesn't understand but he has to trust her anyways and just so happens to be naked on top of that, and no one seems to be giving him any answers but to him seems intent on just leading him around. All in all I think a little outburst or two would be pretty normal for just about anyone.
The nudity was mainly a way to have a connection to the original canon material, where the ponies really don't have a need for clothes but they wear pieces of clothing anyways, and also it is being used to point out another major difference from his world. While we consider it taboo to wear too little clothing, most ponies walk around with none and nopony bats an eyelash at it.
The amount of sexual references by Eric is because he's a 28 year old sexually active man who happens to work as a maintainer in the Air Force and has found himself in a place where he is surrounded by basically naked women. In the end I believe that I made his reactions to this pretty tame compared to real life, because most of the time he would be probably having one deviant fantasy after another, with each one worse than the last, if I wrote it true to life. Plus what grown man isn't going to notice T&A? Even if he doesn't say it outloud he's still going to think about it subconciously (at least as long as Celestia and Luna are not close enough to get a sudden dose of lustful emotions )
Contrary to possible popular belief, not everyone in the military goes through a SERE course to learn how to survive if captured or interact with a foreign populace. For Air Force maintainers ours is basically a PowerPoint video game available through the Army called SERE 100.1, which is usually dealt with in one of two methods because it is so long.
1. Start it and put your computer speakers to mute and go look at something else on the internet while you wait for the program to reach a waypoint before answering whatever question is being asked of you(whether by pre-done answer sheet or keep guessing till you get enough right to continue on)
2. Find someone who has a blank version of the certificate that you get at the end of the course and type in your information and turn it in to training. Because ain't nobody got time for that st
So in the end him not really knowing what to do and making mistakes is entirely plausible from a maintainer perspective. Afterall we work on planes on a flight line behind a perimeter fence so that they can fly and provide support to the troops on the ground who actually have to know how to survive in a situation like this.
3751651 Its a rotation cipher. You just rotate the letters 4 spaces. So W becomes S and so on.
3752088 Thank you for all the positive reviews and the insight on the train information always wondered why they smelled like that because it didn't smell like anything I was familiar with, except burned JP-8 or kerosene.
Yes I am very mechanical IRL, I've been an aircraft mechanic in the Air Force for almost 10 years and I'm very big into cars as well. My first car when I was 16 was a 1992 Pontiac Grand Am that got me hooked on cars and have been rebuilding/modding a repoed 1988 300zx for the past 11 years. I find working on mechanical things and similar tedious things as a personal type of Zen.
3751651 Yes the cipher is a mix of an A=E and A=H cipher and it will go away after Chapter 10 (I think)
3752211 A little more modern but not by much, probably somewhere around the 1930's in design. But will still be wooden framed, canvas covered, open cockpit(more than likely), non-retracting landing gears, monoplane, and an air cooled V-style motor.
Helps that he has over 100 years of aircraft design examples to draw from and pegasus engineers who know all about aerodynamics and the math to make it all work. Better than a couple of bicycle makers in a workshop in Ohio trying to be the first to ever do it.
Well, I know how he can arrive at the ball! In style, landing a plane on the lawn!
3752190 Same here.
I think of it as "Busy hands, clear mind" Happens when I'm helping my grandfather move firewood (Two tons in one day!) or when I'm working in his woodshop at his cabin. I've found that it also happens when I'm working on my erector set or in metals class when I'm working on the lathe or mill
3752361 Eeyup
3752353 I wish But the plane won't be ready by then. Although maybe he'll be able to fire up the engine before the Ball?
In the immortal words of Tim "The Toolman" Taylor- *grunt*
3752329 Huh. I thought it would be an upright Wright Gypsy, air-cooled inline. They are pretty easy to fabricate, and there is really no limit to the size you can make them. I know a guy who built a little two cylinder for the hell of it.
3752621 Yeah it would have been easier to do a simple inline 4 banger, with just enough power to get it off the ground to prove the concept to the ponies. But I'm thinking once he started telling the engineers about all the different types of motors they got the horsepower bug bad and wanted their plane to be something fast and aerodynamic. That is if I'm understanding the basic pegasus mentality as I understand it from the source material.
I ask myself would a species that has characters like Rainbow Dash, The Wonderbolts, Scootaloo, and Snowflake, rather see a plane like the Wright Flyer , or would they rather see planes like the GeeBee, P-51 Mustang, or Spitfire In the end I think they'd go with the later choices.
3752702 Me, I'd rather see a P-38. Nice lookin planes! I got to see Glacier Girl a few years ago at EAA.
3752817 Love the P-38, and thought about that for a plane design but decided against it because it has two engines which means twice the cost on a technology they've never used before.
If I had my choice (which technically I do) it would be similar to the early P-40's (XP-40 thru P-40C) Favorite plane of all time and the perfect plane to paint a sharkmouth on.
3752906 OH HELL YES!!!! They were slow, but they could take a beating, and dish it out. Also, the P-38 has counter-rotating props so add that to the complexity. I have to sleep now, but I enjoyed this talk. I look forward to the next chapter.
3752927 Not a problem, anytime.
3511330 Well, I do have a Sherman that is gathering dust. Feel free to borrow it.
I am well pleased the plot and the OC are a break from the usual, overused recipe for a story. I can actually see a freaking culture this time compared to so many others.
It's the best taste of fresh air I've had in a long, long time.
Previous concerns /dispelled more or less until:
Right selfish dick there thinking his homesickness can even start to compare to their loneliness. They've had centuries to find ways to cope and an off-hand comment made it all tumble down? I don't really buy that even with that sort of "connection" since he is closed off to their minds and not the other way around. Just my two bits.
I don't like Pony Spock, either. Not steam-punkish enough.
Is he refusing to come to terms that he is considered MIA with unlikely survival back home?
Why do you keep using names that you aren't listing at the top? Last chapter we had 'Otzdy', whoever the fuck that was. This chapter we have 'Tivy Siv' and 'Gerxivsa'.
It's not like you're not really a mare at all and that body is just a construct you created to interact with mortals because you are actually the sun itself or anything... it's not like that because that is exactly what it is.
6612676 The names at the top of the chapter are for your use to help recognize the names given to the canon characters in the story or OC's that are/were meant to be reoccurring characters in the story. So if they're not listed in the top they should just be viewed as random names for conversation sake.
On the point of "Gerxivsa" that's my bad. It was the name I had of Canterlot from an earlier version of the story where everything was translated into the Equis version including the names of towns and locations, but I decided to change it to hopefully limit the confusion. Thought I had gotten them all, but obviously not. It has been fixed and thanks for pointing it out.
I don't need, nor want, a villain in this story. It's perfectly enjoyable without something fucking it all up. A perfectly ordinary (heh) story of a guy having a go at a second life, doing what he loves to do, making the best of the messy situation he's in, and just enjoying himself. It's nice.
Why can't it just be "and it went splendidly" for once?