64 vs. Equestria

by Jman9877

Sequel Out!

What are you doing here?! Sequel is out now!

64 vs. The Underground! It's gonna be epic!

Comments

[Freyr]

Holy crap. Didnt know there would be a sequel great gift for Christmas and New Years

[RoadRunneR]

Isn't there a sequel tagging functionality on this site?

Yes. There is.

[Elderly]

3723390 Maybe he's NLR

[Jman9877]

3770801 If you think i was referencing Miley Cyrus, that wasn't what I was exactly aiming for...

[lordofmyth]

it is not a badly done story so far, but.......... genetic research............. in a world where magic can accidentally create a species of citrus based amphibians..........
really? not only is the prospect of celestai being willingly behind all of this insanity just............ incomprehensible if we are dealing with her being in character for the story, but the idea of murdering colts and foals who have high magical potential jsut because they drained away their energy, which would eventually come back actually, but ponies would isntantly get suspciious if every single one of her faithful students disappeared. and even if ponies live only a century, there are plenty of much more enduring species to take note of all of that.

[Mexican Brony 101]

3779010
Have you actually read the entire thing? I think your still only on chapter 2. Then again this is an old comment.
Just wish I had comments like these on my story, probably because I don't have many.
Oh well...

[Jman9877]

4063007 then I'm fucked.....

[Uberdeathninja]

4098894

There are no good authors, or good ideas.

Especially none from this fandom.

[Jman9877]

4098894 Aww, that's the nicest thing anyone has commented.

[Jman9877]

4321827 An important fact of life is that not all recieve the retribution they deserve.

[Jman9877]

4444488 Man I love these comments.

[Jman9877]

4538267 Nope! Couldn't find a way to make it correlate with Rainbow Factory, so it doesn't exist in this universe.

[thatguy45]

im slightly amazed at the fact that you only have two stories but SO MANY CHAPTERS!!! I mean what the hell man! it's so misleading!
i'm so sorry. this is an awesome fic and you should be praised for it.

[Jman9877]

4648387 Wait is that bad? Should there be more stories and less chapters?

[dasubur]

3946684
No I could not get past the first fucking paragraph.

unless its been changed the first paragraph was fucking horrendous when I read it.

oh yeah I'll read your story, I consider your comment a personal challenge to do so.

[dasubur]

4692049
I am a he good sir.

[dasubur]

3163536
No its because of how hard it is to follow what the fuck is going on, and why you should care.

[Jman9877]

4730386 Thanks?

[Jman9877]

4734907 Thanks for that. Only 6 hours to read the whole thing huh? Nice.

[Armored Siege]

Dammit!
You made me cry TAT
I was expecting a sappy ending with Vi getting to be revived into a human and living and 64 getting laid!
But nooooo.
You wanted the one where life will be the one to fuck 64...
I feel like I died a bit inside... (Going to the sequel)

[Jman9877]

4789439 Sorry, no getting laid for 64 in this story

[Tokai]

4810060

A halberd is a European weapon.

Anyway as long as the main character is going to play Samurai Weaboo I'm not going to read this story any further.

[Jman9877]

4811480 Hope you liked what you did read!

[Jman9877]

4842518 So many abbreviations. Well SA knows that all is not what it seems about 64, and is a bit doubtful of what C says about him.

[Uberdeathninja]

4842732 Old comment is old.

[Jman9877]

4846670 He had no way of knowing.

[Dragonlover553]

4845513 you know what they say, FIGHT FIRE WITH HELLFIRE!!!!

[qamar-ling]

in the end (warning my contain spoilers.)

[Jman9877]

5065128 It's cool. I understand this story is a bit hard to read, and there's tons of better stuff on this site.

[zooba]

While I did like most of the story, the ending rubbed me the wrong way. I just can't see how he could stand to work the individual who for 1000 years tortured kids to death to give minor-to-moderate boosts to the guard and who knew exactly what was being done to him and endorsed it. Having a mental breakdown and saying the equivalent to, "oops, by bad." just doesn't cut it. Even then she only said it to Twilight over her freak-out. She never once apologized to 64 and appears to feel she has some kind of moral high ground.

Completely spoiled the story for me.

[This-Is-A-Dead-Account]

The landscape was something out of Neigh Zealand’s.

YUSS NEWZEALAND QUOTE!!!!

[Jman9877]

6132522 u wot m8

[HgSpartan]

Alright, the premise was good, the execution could use a bit of work. Not bad though. One thing you could add (if you ever rewrite/edit this), name the poor sod. Maybe at the end have Cel, Twi, Lun, SA, or even Vi name him. I was thinking Valiant. Short and descriptive. Could be a dramatic ending. And you could name the book after him. The current title is soso.

[Spiritus Arcane]

Yeah, this ending falls flat for me because Celestia gets to pull off a massive karma Houdini by not suffering any consequences for her past crimes. Getting blasted with the EoH don't count because that was just to stop her NOW. Instead she gets to go right back to ruling with everone, INCLUDING 64, apparently ok with it. 64 even agrees TO WORK FOR HER! Seriously!?

I could almost understand this because there's no physical proof besides him anymore...but I don't accept for a second that he and Celestia would be anywhere near friendly with each other. If he's going to work for any princess, it would have to be Luna, who not only had no hoof in anything done to him, but was actually one of his major allies. As I've stated before, this story spends so much effort to paint Knight as the big bad, and forgets that Celestia was doing all these horrible things long before he was born, as there's nothing to indicate he was any more than a normal unicorn.

Shining Armor is another character whose actions are baffling throughout this story. It's implied that when he became captain, he learned everything about the secret labs...but then he had a talk with Celestia and was ok with it. Uh, unless this 'talk' involved some brainwashing, I can't believe that, because that would mean he was 'ok' with the fact that his leader had been running monsterous experiments for 1000 years, and that her 'faithful students' were in fact drained of all their magic and, if they survived that, tortured to death all in the name of beefing up the military so that Celestia could drop the nice act and rule as an absolute dictator. Oh, yeah, and that his sister would have been the next in a long line of victims if she hadn't suddenly grown a conscience at the last minute. But it doesn't even end here, oh no. There's nothing really stopping her from changing her mind and sending Twilight to her death anyway. In fact, she made the chief scientist of this thing her Royal Adviser, and he was all gung ho for the experiments, meaning there's a high possibility she could be talked into starting everything up again at any time.

If he didn't desert at this, then he should have been using his position to plan a coup of his own, to toss out Celestia and Knight before that could happen. And the only reason he wouldn't be aiding 64 directly before NMM shows up is because everyone thinks he's out to get Twilight.

Luna's the only one of the secondary characters, besides the Mane 6, whose inaction makes sense. She just got back from the moon, and just the other day she was Nightmare Moon, so she has practically no political power to wield, and no one's going to follow her against Celestia when they only proof she has are the memories of a non-pony whose been spun as a dangerous fugitive...and not even the complete memories either, since 64 seems so hung up on going it alone aside from Vi to make any serious effort to show her her sister's wrong doings. Maybe if he'd given the complete picture, she'd have been willing to take even more direct action than she did.

Twilight's the only one who should actually buy the 'she did it for a good reason' spiel. Even in the show she's almost fanatically loyal to Celestia, and here it was probably by design. Still, after the whole Super Nova things, she should be suffering a major case of broken pedestal. The rest of the mane 6 are iffy...but I don't buy for a second that Pinkie or Fluttershy would be ok with anything having to do with torture.

Also not going to buy Vi's betrayal wasn't her being brainwashed by absorbing Nova's magic. Vi had even more reason to hate Celestia than 64, given that she had the dying memories of all the foals she'd sacrificed over the centuries. I was really hoping that the bare minimum punishment Celestia would get would be a full upload of all that. Being made to live the pain of her victims would have been a lot better than no punishment at all.

Still, there is a sequel now, so I'm going to hope that MAYBE some of this will be addressed there. Maybe we'll see Sunset come back for revenge, which in this universe she very much justly deserves it.

[Isaac3924]

So...... I finally decided to read this because I wanted a good ol' underdog human vs pony story à la "Man with Two Names", "The Piano Man", "Misunderstandings", etc. First chapter was promising, decent, but then the second chapter happened..... and from what I can tell the rest of the story.

Chapter two starts suffering from notable typos and grammatical errors, which is already a huge turn-off for me. But what's worse is all of the clichés. A big bad super weapon that is sentient and only those it deems worthy can wield it, brain-dead guards, and what appears to be a game mechanic from Metal Gear Revengance..... Yeah.

But even worse? The bad characterization. Why does 64 give two shits about Twilight? Because he has a strong sense of justice? Because he doesn't want anyone else to suffer? Bullshit. Fucking no. That's not how someone behaves after being tortured for four years or so straight, someone who'd gone through that would only be focused on either ending their misery by dying, or -- if they have enough willpower -- to actually attempt to escape, and ONLY escape. No one would be so fixated on a kid they've never met having a shitty future, unless they were being directly confronted with it. 64 should have been bitter and caustic, not a G-d damn mother fucking bleeding heart. Not to mention, I know he was educated for ten years or something, but his dialogue is much too advanced for someone who has had no meaningful education or interaction for four years! "Opposition"? Really?! Fucking really?! And how is a malnourished, injured teenager able to keep ahead of all these guards? Or just stay running for that matter? What the fuck even?!

And Vi, let's set aside the fact that you named and based a character off of one of the shittier Zelda games to date, but how the fuck does 64 realize what a female version of his species looks like?! You make it obvious that he was raised by ponies (what with the ponyisms (and him swearing by Celestia even though he despises her (THE FUCK EVEN'S GOING ON?!?!!?!!?))) so how would he know that, what with the very different anatomy between ponies and humans, unless he was taught about the birds and the bees, and was able to remember said information while he was tortured for four years straight............ Mother fucking Vi, really? A shittier version of Navi? Fucking whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Then there's OOCelestia. Oh don't get me wrong, I fucking love it when Celestia is given a comeuppance because she's made a lot of mistakes, I fucking love it. But no, you fucking half-ass it, I know this is an AU, but you could have at least made the characters somewhat resemble your counterparts instead of doing something they wouldn't to keep the story going. Which is usually frowned upon..... by everyone...... You could have gone the route of full-on AU (which you weren't, you were drawing a lot of parallels and trying to make the story keep as close to the timeline of the original show) but, making Celestia question her methods at motherfucking step one is not how you do that! Doubting her morality might have worked, deeper into the story when she could see the ramifications of everything she has let happen. But having her do it so early just as a bullshit excuse to keep Twilight from being tortured is just so motherfucking transparent that I'd think of a metaphor to put here but my jimmies are so rustled right now I can't even.

And that's what I got just from reading chapters one and two and skimming chapter three. Skimming. I'm glad I'm dropping this here, because from what I can tell from the other comments is that Celestia has some motherfucking nightmare moon-esque thing that let's her get off scott-free. Fuck you.

TL;DR
THIS STORY WAS BAD BECAUSE REASONS. HERE, WATCH THIS VIDEO, IF ANYTHING YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WITNESS TRUE TALENT IN ENTERTAINMENT.

[Tison Valane]

This ending reminds me so fucking much of Cortanna's death. WHY YOU MAKE IT SO SAD?

On another note I went on a reading binge, this story took me the entire day. WHY U MAKE ENDING SO SAD. U make us love then u jam the knife in.

[Jman9877]

7837792 Like a goddamn shock trooper.

[Spiritus Arcane]

8278633
Yeah, see my other responses as to why Celestia doing any of this using NMM as a justification doesn't really hold water.

[HgSpartan]

9099358
Thanks for that clarification.

[Your resident Night Owl]

are you still online or are you leaving?

[damnaion]