• Published 2nd Sep 2013
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Feeling Pinkie Mean - RainbowBob



Sombra has met his match, literally.

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Chapter 3: Resolution

The basement doors opened, a desolate-looking Pinkie stepping out of the darkness. Twilight looked to Pinkie from the letter she was writing at the desk near the side of the room.

“Hey, Pinkie, did things go well?” Twilight asked, arching an eyebrow at the pink mare’s saddened mood. “I’m about to write a letter to the Princess about any improvements on Sombra’s reforming condition. Some good news would help.”

“Well, he hasn’t been that bad,” Pinkie said, making her way closer to Twilight. “Actually, he kinda is, but not as awful as everypony makes him out to be. He’s just really grumpy all the time.”

“I would say he’s more than just grumpy. He’s used to being a tyrant and a power hungry maniac,” Twilight pointed out.

“Yeah, but he couldn’t have always been like that! Maybe he even used to be a good pony once.” Pinkie tapped her chin for a moment in thought. “Well… actually, that’s pushing it. Maybe he’s just never learned about the power of friendship before? I’m sure I can teach it to him!”

Twilight chuckled, scribbling down her message on the letter. “Well, that’s the reason I chose you in the first place, Pinkie. You never give up on anything. If anypony can teach Sombra to be good, it’s definitely you.”

“Aw, thanks, Twi,” Pinkie said, her glum mood cast away as she wrapped a foreleg around her friend in her very well-known Pinkie hug. “It really means a ton that you can trust me with something as important as this.”

“No worries, Pinkie,” Twilight replied, hugging her friend as well just as she finished the letter. “And I do believe I finally have good news to send to Celestia now. With you on the case, she’ll be able to not worry too hard on Sombra.”

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something about Sombra.” Pinkie scooped Twilight’s cheeks in her hooves and stared intently at her eyes. “Can you let Sombra out of the rope and cage in the basement?”

“What? Pinkie, no way that’s happening,” Twilight replied, pushing her over-ambitious friend off herself. “He’s too much of a threat to be in the library. Even without powers, Sombra can be a danger to us all.”

“But, Twilight, all he is now is a lonely stallion cooped up in a basement,” Pinkie pointed out, going on her knees and hooves in an overdramatized begging pose. “If he’s going to change, we need to change. Starting with giving more freedom.”

“And how is letting him in the library going to change him?” Twilight asked, staring at Pinkie, unimpressed.

“Um… well, reading,” Pinkie said with a shrug. “Maybe reading a bunch of books can turn him into a nerd. And everypony knows nerds aren’t evil or threatening.”

“Hey!” Twilight protested.

“What, that was a compliment?”

“Just… never mind,” Twilight sighed, rubbing at her temple at another of Pinkie’s antics. “I don’t really think a book will suddenly convince Sombra not be evil anymore.”

“Not just books! We can take him out, too!” Pinkie said excitedly, her body practically shaking with pent-up energy. “Go on walks through Ponyville! Introduce him to other ponies! Ooh, ooh, I can even throw him a–”

“No, no, no!” Twilight shouted, holding a hoof up to Pinkie’s face to silence her. “We are not going to have a party for Sombra. For one thing, he definitely doesn’t deserve one. Another is that he’s a secret, not some prize we show off to the rest of the town.”

Pinkie’s smile drooped to a miserable frown, her lower lip quivering. “But, Twilight, Sombra isn’t going to improve if he’s locked up all day. Please let him out.”

“I don’t know…”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?” Pinkie begged, her eyes growing impossibly huge as her pupils widened to new levels of adorableness.

Twilight facehoofed. “Fine, fine, okay. I’ll let him out of the basement.”

Twilight fell on her back, a tightly hugging Pinkie Pie wrapping her arms around Twilight’s middle. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Now that Sombry can get out, he’ll be much happier!”

Ooph!” Twilight coughed, feeling her oxygen levels decreasing dramatically from Pinkie’s strong grip. “Wait… did you just say Sombry?”

“Oh yeah, that’s my nickname for him. I think he’s starting to like it. Eventually.” Pinkie released Twilight, checking overhead at the clock fixated against the wall. “Talking about eventually, Mrs. Cake is expecting me eventually as well. I have to head to Sugarcube Corner.”

Twilight breathed in a huge gasp of air, too weak from Pinkie’s backbreaking hug to move. “Yeah, swell. Have a fun time.”

“Oh, I’ll be sure to! I’m going to bake a special batch of cookies just for Sombry!” Pinkie bounced over Twilight and made her way to the door. Resting her hoof on the handle and glancing back, she said, “Also, how did Sombry come to love chocolate so much anyways?”

Twilight got back to all fours and cracked her back, wincing slightly. “He managed to find an old, half-eaten candy bar in the trash the night Spike found him. He managed to eat all of it, wrapper and all.”

“Wow, did he eat anything else from the trashcan?” Pinkie asked, holding back a giggle but failing miserably.

“Not exactly sure, but from the sounds he made while puking in the bathroom, it must’ve have been awful.” Twilight laughed, Pinkie joining in as well.


The basement doors slammed open, the light from the main room of the library shining right into the room. Pinkie hopped down the steps, calling out, “Sombry, Pinkie’s home!”

Sombra groaned and rolled over, muttering, “Five more minutes, and then I’ll destroy you later…”

Pinkie jumped down the last step and did a flip off her front hooves, landing right before Sombra’s cage. Taking a look inside, she noticed in the dim light the empty bowl and melted chocolate covering Sombra’s face. “Wow, you did eat all the ice cream.”

A burp escaped Sombra’s lips, followed by a snort and smack of his lips as his eyes opened up. “Yeah, was the best meal I’ve had in years. A thousand, to be exact. Now leave me and my nap be.”

“Aw, but I was just about to tell you good news!” Pinkie said, sticking her head in between the bars.

Sombra arched an eyebrow at her. “Let me guess. You’re going to leave me alone and jump off a cliff?

Pinkie stuck her tongue out at him. “Sillyhead, that isn’t good news.”

“It would be to me.”

Withdrawing the key from her mane, she unlocked his cage and made her way inside. “The real good news is that you’re not gonna be stuck in the basement anymore! Doesn’t that sound awesome?”

“I don’t even know what awesome means.”

“It means you get to stay in the library with Twilight!” Pinkie explained, going over to him and untying his rope binding. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Sombra said with snark, feeling relief from no longer being suffocated by the rope’s hold. “I always wanted to be trapped in a library with a moron for a mare who thinks she’s all high and mighty for being a prissy princess.”

Pinkie finished with untying Sombra’s ropes, chucking the rope binding to the side. “Well, what’s wrong with princesses?”

Sombra stared at Pinkie with a blank look for several seconds. “Two princesses trapped me in an abyss of eternal darkness for a thousand years. Then another princess defeated me with the help of some pint-sized dragon when I went to reclaim my empire. Now, try and guess why I hate princesses with a burning passion.”

Pinkie tapped her chin in thought for a few moments. “Hmmm… you don’t like crowns?”

Sombra facehoofed.

“Wait, no, tiaras!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Or what about necklaces? Do you have an opinion on bracelets?”

Sombra growled and got to his hooves, wincing from the sharp pricks in his legs as his blood started flowing freely again. Pinkie just went on and on, as she usually did, but her close proximity made it difficult for Sombra to ignore her. “Don’t you ever shut up?” Sombra snapped at her.

Sombra’s face scrunched up when he turned around to find Pinkie rubbing her face in his luxurious cape. “Wow, I bet you don’t hate velvet then!” she exclaimed, tugging his red with white trimmings cape to snuggle with.

“Give me that!” Sombra demanded, swiping his cape back and looking at the area she face mashed with it with disgust. “Commoners do not touch the royal cape with their dirty, peasant hooves!”

“But I just washed my hooves,” Pinkie said, lifting hers up and sniffing them just to make sure. Laying a hoof on his steel plated armor, she asked, “Can I touch this then?”

Sombra slapped her hoof away. “Never touch me, you lower class scum,” he growled, flashing her his razor sharp fangs. “A king is not to be dirtied by filth such as yourself.”

Pinkie sniffed her arm. “I don’t know why you keep on saying I’m dirty. I took a shower today. Wanna see?” she asked, lifting her leg to his face.

“Didn’t I say not to touch me?” Sombra pointed out, staring at her with daggers as he walked past her to exit the cage. “Just you being in my nearby vicinity sickens me to no end.”

Pinkie kept up with her cheery appearance and followed Sombra up the stairs with nary a negative reaction to his words. Sombra found this more annoying than if she was angered at his rude remarks. This never ending fountain of jolliness that was Pinkie Pie irked him to no end.

Up the stairs, Sombra was confronted by a sight that annoyed him almost as much as Pinkie. The deep contrast with her was Twilight, glaring at him with disapproval as usual.

“Well, well, well, looks like somepony isn’t happy to see me,” Sombra noticed, grinning mildly at Twilight’s frown deepened. “What’s wrong, princess? Did Prince Charming not buy you flowers today?”

“I’m single,” Twilight said, “and I would appreciate it if you kept your snarky comments to a minimum.”

“Or what?” he laughed, grinning wickedly with a dark intent in his green glowing eyes. “Lock me in your basement again? My compliments on figuring out darkness is my one weakness. How long did that take you, princess?”

Before Twilight could reply with a comeback, Pinkie’s face broke her view of Sombra when it was suddenly shoved in her face. “Heya, Twi, where’s Sombry gonna sleep now?”

“Sombra! My name is Sombra, you pathetic excuse for vermin!” Sombra shouted, his crimson pupils shining brighter for a few moments. “And I will be sleeping in the finest luxury bed you have available.”

“You’ll get the cot behind the stairs,” Twilight said with a smirk.

“Absolutely not!” Sombra argued, shoving Pinkie out of the way to confront Twilight. “As royalty, I deserve only the best living conditions known to ponykind. Staying cooped up in that basement forcibly by your hoof shall not be wise to repeat, princess.”

Twilight scowled and moved her face closer, her and the king’s nose nearly touching. “First off, don’t call me princess. Secondly, you’ll sleep wherever I say while you stay under my roof.”

Sombra snarled his teeth, fangs gleaming in the light.

“Are you guys going to kiss now?” Pinkie giggled, barely able to hold back a laugh at the amusing sight.

Twilight’s face immediately blushed furiously as she backed away fast, while Sombra just grinned slyly at Twilight. Wiggling his eyebrows, he asked, “Well, are you?”

Gagging, she said, “Forget it, crystal-for-brains.”

Sombra chuckled, glancing around at his new surroundings. he only got a quick look before he was locked down below in the basement. Books covered shelves reaching from the floor to the ceiling, with the smell of the olden tomes permeating in the air.

“While these housing conditions are less than adequate to what I am used to, they will suffice,” he said, his nostrils flaring as a new scent entered the area. “Are those… cookies?”

“Yessiree!” Pinkie called from behind the kitchen doors, bouncing in the library with a fresh batch of cookies steaming on a tray atop her head. “I brought them right from Sugarcube Corner! Freshly baked and super sweet!” Setting the tray on the table nearby, she dug around in the fluff of her mane and revealed a pitcher of milk she somehow managed to store there. “With milk, too!”

Sombra’s mouth was drooling profusely, though he attempted to hide it behind a lick of his lips. “Excellent! Looks like you are useful, after all.”

Making his way to the table that held the delicious treats of baked chocolate delights, his hoof was stopped by a force field over the tray when he went to reach over for a cookie.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Twilight tutted, her horn glowing the same color of the force field. “You only get cookies on two conditions.”

Holding back a curse, Sombra asked, “And what would that be, your majesty?”

“No escaping,” Twilight said, releasing control of the force field as it dispelled. “Just in case you ever decided to try, I made a special magical signal to go off if you ever leave the house or the border of Ponyville. Do that and you can expect yourself back in the basement in chains.

Rolling his eyes at her unthreatening remark, he asked, “Anything else?”

“Say thank you to Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie perked up at these words, staring at Sombra intently with creepily wide eyes.

Looking at the steaming pile of cookies, then back at Pinkie, Sombra gulped. Mumbling profanities under his breath, he muttered, “Yeah, thanks, you aren’t a pathetic waste of space as I once thought. Happy?”

WHOOOOOOOOOO!” Pinkie squealed, grappling onto Sombra's neck and hugging him with all her might. "You do like me!"

Luckily for Sombra, his armor managed to protect him from the worse of the dreaded Pinkie Pie hug of happiness. But her strong grip prevented him from reaching out for a cookie, tormenting him at their closeness.

"Damn you, Pinkie," Sombra choked out, holding back vomit because of her touch. "I will destroy you!"