jbond
Joined 13th Jul, 2012 ·
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What just happened?
Seriously...I'm confused.
In all honesty, I think it needs a bit of polish.
You probably would have been better off writing this in your native language then translating it with Google because honestly, the English here is very garbled. I can understand what's going on in the story but trying to actually figure out the prose is a no go.
Was this a trollfic?
What you have done is wonderful, and I would surely marry off one of my daughters to you.
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TqylgnGDKco/UYl3wSHA5DI/AAAAAAAABOU/Lf_r9UW8F2A/w800-h800/url-38.jpeg
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Seriously, what are you trying to say? English motherfucker do you speak it?
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/954/wtf_is_this_shit2_RE_73_Million_Sharks_Killed_Every_Year-s468x349-71815.jpg
pornytoons.com/media/images/2013/06/14/Charlie-Brown-Cartoon-Porn-cartoon-porn-image-.png
Jesus...fucking...Christ...
I seriously hope English isn't your first language because if it is, you are in serious need of a re-education....like, Kindergarten re-eduation.
This is bad, there's no other way of putting it.
If a First-grader wrote a story in Japanese and then translated it to Dutch, French, Russian, Spanish and Vietnamese before finally translating it to English, this is what I imagine would be the result.
You are in serious need of a proof-reader. Your pacing is WAY too rushed (I think you maxed out my radar gun in some places), Fluttershy is way to out-of-character in some parts
She would never be this forward...ever...not even Assertive Fluttershy is this forward.
Again, WAY too forward for Fluttershy.
You need to understand the basic concept of 'character'; Fluttershy is very timid, shy and nervous...not blunt and forward like you portrayed her in this *ahem*story*ahem*
Mind you, all these are minor issues when we get to your down-right atrocious grammar. I won't spend too much time here because if I did, well we'd be here forever and nothing would get done.
Okay, what the fuck are they saying here? Seriously, it's as if someone got really, really drunk...then took a double dosage of LSD...then tried to have a coherent conversation with someone else who had done exactly the same thing.
Okay, so from what I've read of this....
Big Mac suffered from mechanical failures, resulting in him breaking down. He then picked up his sperm and physically threw it down Fluttershy's throat.
......I'm sure that last bit classes as 'rape', even if she did want him to do it...
#1. I don't care what kind of headcanon people might have of Pinkie Pie. She knows what sex is. She might be immature and silly, and she might act like a 5 year old, but she's not a fucking idiot. She's a grown mare and knows what sex is.
#2.
I'm not even going to try and decipher this......
This whole ending is just....I have no fucking clue, it's as if you unleashed a drunken 2 year old on the keyboard.
I seriously hope this is a troll-fic because if it isn't it should never have come into existence on this site....
mcdonalds.com/content/dam/McDonalds/item/mcdonalds-Big-Mac.png
But seriously, the fast pacing and poor translation to english made this my new favourite (troll?) fic. Keep up the good work
2994146
Well if this was a trollfic...he did a darn good job lol
I always wondered what a clopfic written by Google Translate would look like.
Was this written for that aloud-reading-of-bad-fics thing too?
I m Russian. Jbond is Troll, dont read him.
Бля ты и тут свой мусор постишь. думаешь оценят что ли?
I don't know where your words are taking me...
No offense, but,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HECK I AM READING!
3016854
So we were right then? This is a troll fiction?
3102605
P.S. sry for bad english.
Srly no. He write this using googletranslate. And all Jbond*s fics deleted on russian funfiction. So he start write there... Pathetic.
3102873
It's alright man
Thanks for responding
That certainly clears a few things up for me
Have a nice day
2993426
In Polish!? The English was bad enough.
3181234 - Ha!