Babs Seed, and her parents, Twilight and Big Mac, have moved from thier cozy home in Manehattan to live in the middle of nowhere is a rinky dink apartment. Babs is utterly bored and her parents are busy, so she just does nothing; until, she finds a door that is bricked up by day, but by night is a portal to a world just like her own, but better! (And everypony has button eyes!) But, when things start to go wrong, Babs has to fight for her life.
Fix your grammar in your descriptions + titles (short and long descriptions) please.
4680571 I don't see any problems, can you tell me where the problems are so I can fix them?
Where they are? Uhh.. Can't you see them?
Long description should be...
Babs Seed, and her parents, Twilight and Big Mac, have moved from thier cozy home in Manehattan to live in the middle of nowhere is a rinky dink apartment. Babs is utterly bored and her parents are busy, so she just does nothing; until, she finds a door that is bricked up by day, but by night is a portal to a world just like her own, but better! (And everypony has button eyes!) But, when things start to go wrong, Babs has to fight for her life.
Short description should be...
When Babs Seed finds herself moved into a new home, she is utterly bored. Until, she finds a secret door to another world..
And for the chapter title, it should be...
Moving Day and a New "Friend"
4680647 I thought you meant spelling mistakes. jeez does it bug you THAT much?
4680695
I have OCD.
4680702 oh, sorry. that was a bit harsh... i'll fix it. besides that, do you like the story so far?
4680709
I will change my dislike to a like. But if you make this story go down the hole, I will shove you into that hole with the story.
In other words, yes, I like the story.
4680718 okay i'm glad...
Oh I know this
That movie gave me nightmares
4773046 me too buddy, me too
4773046 a crossover with Coraline.